About The Mother of All Parenting Blogs

The Mother of All Parenting Blogs is....

...a parenting conversation, idea exchange, and resource swap coordinated by author, journalist, and mother Ann Douglas. Published on Mondays and Thursdays. Departments. Get involved.

Extra Votes for Parents, Healthy Body Image, and Fish Art

Newswire

Extra Votes for Parents?

"If [governments] are not ready to stand up proudly and give voice to the rights of children, then they should put into place reforms that magnify the voices that already exist. The most important would be reforming an electoral system that disenfranchises all those younger than 18 by allowing their parents to cast additional votes for each of their children. Maybe only then when they have to actually look their electorate in the eyes will there be sufficient resolve to make child rights the priority that a commitment [the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child] made 20 years ago stated it should be."
- Miles Corak, former research coordinator and lead researcher of the 2005 UNICEF Report Child Poverty in Rich Countries, writing in yesterday's Toronto Star

A Powerful New Anti-Bullying Tool:
Positive Body Image

Reflections of Me: Body Image and Self-Esteem (a preventative educational program designed for use from kindergarten through Grade 8) is one of the tools Ontario teachers are using to combat bullying in the classroom. It is designed to teach children to accept differences in others and to resist harassment and bullying based on body image.

The curriculum – which was developed by the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario (EFTO) – recently won the Canadian Medical Association's Award for Excellence in Health Promotion. It consists of a video, curriculum materials designed for each grade level, and a brochure for parents.

According to the EFTO, parents play a key role in determining how children feel about their bodies and in promoting healthy body image in general. Parents can remind kids that genetics have a lot to do with a person's weight, size, and body type; reinforce the idea that all bodies are acceptable; challenge put-downs related to physical appearance and be a positive role model with regard to body image; encourage kids to tune into their own internal hunger and fullness cues; promote exercise and healthy eating as ways to nurture your body; and celebrate the uniqueness of all people.

Related:

Body Talk: The Straight Facts About Fitness, Nutrition, and Feeling Great About Yourself by Ann Douglas and Julie Douglas

One Fish, Two Fish, Rainbow Fish, Whitefish....

The Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources' Kids' Fish Art Contest is back for its 7th year. Kids in grades 4 through 12 have until December 18th to submit a drawings of one of this year's official fish -- the rainbow fish or the whitefish -- in its natural habitat, along with an essay about habitat protection (see official contest rules for details). The winning design will be used on the 2010 Young Angler's License.

Caring for a Sick Child When You Are Sick Yourself: You Were Asking

Parenting Grapevine

It's an unwritten rule of motherhood: mothers aren't supposed to get sick. But we do. And so do dads. That leaves us parents in a bit of a mess. We have to figure out how to care for our kids when we're sick ourselves.

These days, a lot of parents are grappling with this situation, as H1N1 hits their families.

Here are some tips on caring for kids when you're sick yourself.

Call in any and all favors from extended family members and friends. This is no time to try to tough things out on your own. You need all the help you can get. When other people ask what they can do, assign them specific tasks.

• - Ask people who have built up H1N1 immunity (either from having had the disease themselves or because they were immunized at least ten days ago) if they would be willing to help with laundry or dishes while you catch up on your sleep.
• - Ask people who haven't built up H1N1 immunity if they would be willing to pick up groceries, to make you a super-healthy meal, or to run other errands on your behalf.

Take the best possible care of yourself. It's easy to forget about your own needs when you're taking care of other people who are sick. Remind yourself that you won't be able to take care of them at all if you get sick, too, and that you really need to

• Seize every opportunity for sleep. Sleep plays an important role in keeping the immune system functioning as it should. If you become sleep-deprived, you become more susceptible to illness.
• Eat well. Don't neglect your own nutritional needs. Your body, including your immune system, functions at its best when you consume a diet that is high in fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, and low in saturated fat.
• Minimize stress. Caring for sick family members is stressful in and of itself. You don't need added stress. So put as many of your other commitments and worries on hold, as possible for now.

Find little ways to make a very difficult situation more bearable. Listen to relaxing music while you're changing sheets. Have a visit with a friend by phone. And promise to treat yourself to a night on the town as soon as life gets back to something resembling normal.

Note: @bweikle: Thank you for asking this question: "Any survival tips for parents who are under the weather but still need to take care of their kids?"

Related:

Centers for Disease Control: Caring for a Sick Person

Resource Swap

Are you currently caring for sick family members? Have you dealt with this situation recently? Do you have some suggestions of your own to pass along on how to weather this storm without coming completely unglued? If so, I'd love to hear them and I'm sure that other parents who are feeling frustrated and exhausted would love to hear them, too. I think this would make a great topic for our next resource swap. If you've blogged about this topic, please post your link in the comments section below so I can include it in the roundup I'm preparing on this topic. If you haven't had a chance to blog about this yet, why not jot down a few thoughts when you have a moment. If you're a health-care provider or someone else who has insights to share, you're welcome to contribute, too. (The more perspectives, the merrier.)

Twitter Lists for Parents: Find Great Parenting Resources -- and Other Parents -- on Twitter

Parenting Grapevine

Twitter recently introduced Twitter lists – a fun new feature that allows you to create lists of people or organizations you follow. Naturally, people on Twitter, who tend to be a rather obsessive bunch, are going a little crazy with the new feature. The net result? There's a fabulous new Twitter list being born every minute.

Here's a roundup of some of the best Twitter lists for parents I've spotted so far. (As always, if I've missed some of your favorites, you can add them in the comments section below.)

Parenting and parent education resources

As you'd expect, there are plenty of lists about parenting and parent education.

Nancy Prisby (CoachNancyP) has created a list of parenting education resources.

Parenting magazine (parenting) has created all kinds of lists for parents, including lists that focus on pregnancy, the lighter side of life (funny), and parenting tips. 

PBS (pbs) has created a list of the top resources for parents.

The LATimes' social media guy Andrew Nystrom (latimesnystrom) has created an umbrella list -- moms - dads - kids - parenting -- consisting of both people and resources.

Sweetmama.ca (Sweetmamadotca) is just starting to create some lists, and it looks like those lists are going to be fun, so you may want to check back to see how those lists come together.

If you want to see what lists other parenting publications and websites are creating for parents, you may find these lists of parenting publications and parenting websites useful.

I have also created some other parenting-related lists.

Parents with the write stuff

A number of lists for parents have something to do with writing or blogging.

Beth Blecherman (TechMama) has created a list of mombloggers groups.

Debbie Ridpath Ohi's (InkyElbows) has created a list of Toronto kid-lit authors.

Rachel Jameson (RachelJJameson) has created a list of young adult authors.

And I created a list of parents who love to write because a surprising number of the people who follow me on Twitter love to write.

Find that (Canadian) parent

Maria (BOREDmommy) has created a list of Canadian moms.

Emma Willer (ewiller) has created a list of Canadian parents. 

John James (JustAnOttawaDad) has created a list of Ottawa parents.

phdinparenting (phdinparenting) has created another list of Ottawa parents.

Gwendolyn Floyd (LeftCoastMama) has created a list of Vancouver parents.

The closest thing I've found to a list of Toronto parents is Catherine Connors' (herbadmother) list t-dot-com featuring all things Toronto.

Parents just want to have fun

Some of the most creative lists I've discovered are the ones that Gabrielle Blair (designmom) has been putting together. I particularly enjoyed these lists of hers:

• Takes copious notes
• Knows how to drive stick 
• People with bangs
• Probably left-handed 
• Punctual

Two parting comments

So there you have it -- my list of Twitter lists for parents. I hope you'll share some of your own current faves (or some of your own Twitter lists-in-progress) in the comments section below. But first, I have two parting comments.

1. It will be interesting to watch how Twitter lists evolve over time -- how people find new uses for them; eliminate some of their lists that aren't particularly useful (because someone has created a better version of the same list) and replace those lists with something even more innovative, creative, and useful to the Twitter community.

2. My Twitter lists (@themotherofall) are still very much lists-in-progress. (These things are surprisingly time-consuming to put together.) So if you know you should be one one of my lists but you aren't there yet, help me out by following the appropriate list so that I'll find you when I'm doing list maintenance. I'll still use my discretion, of course, but you'll make my job a whole lot easier. And I'll be able to lose some of my Twitter list guilt. (Like any parent needs more guilt.)

Corner Store Snacks, What We Expect from Teens, Folic Acid and ADHD, Plus More on H1N1

Parenting Lab

The Convenience Store: Maybe a Little Too Convenient?
Purchases made at corner stores contribute a significant number of calories to the diets of children growing up in urban areas, according to researchers at Temple University's Center for Obesity Research and Education in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The researchers discovered that children purchase an average of two food and/or beverage items during each trip to the corner store; and that caloric intake of these items averages 356 calories. The results of this study appear in the November 5, 2009, issue of the medical journal Pediatrics.

Low Expectations May Fuel Teen Misbehavior
If you expect your teen to get into trouble, your teen may very well live up to those expectations. That's the key finding to emerge from a University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill study of 250 preteens and their mothers. The researchers, who published their results in the Journal of Research on Adolescence, found that teens are more likely to live up to the expectations that are set for them, whether those expectations are positive or negative.

Low Folate Levels in Pregnancy Tied to ADHD in Offspring 
Here's yet another reason to up your intake of folic acid prior to and during pregnancy: low folate levels during pregnancy are associated with an increased likelihood of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in offspring aged 7 to 9. This new finding, reported in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, supports previous research suggesting that folic acid plays a key role in the development of the nervous system.

Newswire

Concern Over H1N1 Jumps Significantly: Harris/Decima Poll
According to a poll conducted by Harris/Decima between October 29 and November 1, the majority of Canadians are now concerned about H1N1 -- a significant shift since early October. Nationally, 55% of Canadians are now very (20%) or somewhat (35%) concerned about the H1N1 flu virus, up from 36% who were concerned at the start of October. Concern is highest in Ontario and Atlantic Canada and lowest in Quebec and Manitoba and Saskatchewan.

What Can Moms Do to Fight Climate Change? Plenty, according to Moms Against Climate Change

One-Question Interview

Erin Charter, Outreach Coordinator for Moms Against Climate Change, dropped by my booth while I was hanging out in the ParentCentral.ca booth at the BabyTime Show this past weekend. I took the opportunity to find out more about Moms Against Climate Change.

ANN: What is so unique about Moms Against Climate Change: its approach and its focus?

ERIN: Moms Against Climate Change is unique because it's a way for the average Jolene to make a real difference on climate change. Most of the information we've heard on global warming has been too scientific, or has recommended individual actions, such as changing our light bulbs, that are too small to make enough of a dent in this huge problem.

Another thing I think is unique about it is that it's asking parents to take action on behalf of their kids. Science clearly shows us what the world will look like if nothing is done to prevent climate change: melting polar ice caps, starving polar bears, drought in some places, floods in others, and more extreme weather events, such as hurricanes and tornadoes. Such changes in our climate mean more instability around the world as countries fight for dwindling natural resources, or as people are forced to leave their homes to seek refuge. If climate change isn’t stopped, our children will suffer the consequences.

The upcoming UN climate summit in Copenhagen is an opportunity to let Stephen Harper know that Canadian parents expect him to protect our children's future from global warming.

Here's how parents can take action:

ONE: Watch the Moms Against Climate Change Public Service Announcement (See below). Pass it on.

TWO: Upload a photo of your child to remind Stephen Harper who he’s representing in Copenhagen at www.TakeActionOnClimateChange.com.

H1N1 Obsessed? Join the Club: How H1N1 Anxiety is Affecting the Lives of Canadian Parents

Every parent I know is H1N1 obsessed right now. And, judging by these newspaper headlines, the parental obsession is pretty much country-wide. Here's a quick snapshot of how H1N1 anxiety is affecting the lives of Canadian parents from coast to coast.

Newswire

The Toronto Star: Got Baby Brain? Your Vaccine Guide, Simply Put
The Toronto Star 's Catherine Porter translates the lingo of Dr. David Butler-Jones, Canada's chief public health officer, into messages a pregnant woman can deal with, without hitting the panic button.

The Globe and Mail: The H1N1 dilemma: Parents Agonize Over Vaccinating Kids Yes? No? Maybe? Yes?
Parental pillow talk across the country is dominated by the pros and cons of vaccinating children against swine flu reportsThe Globe and Mail's Erin Anderssen.

Vancouver Sun.com: Doctors' Offices and Walk-in Clinics Overwhelmed by H1N1 Demands
Doctors’ offices and walk-in clinics in B.C. are being inundated with calls from people demanding the H1N1 vaccine but they don’t have enough doses to meet the demand in the first roll out of the national vaccination program.

Montreal Gazette: Parents flood ERs for H1N1 testing
Authorities at two Montreal hospitals are holding a news conference this morning to address parents' concerns about H1N1 flu.

Halifax Daily News: Influenza Assessment Centre Opens Today at Noon
In Halifax, health authorities are opening an influenza assessment centre to ease congestion and help prevent the spread of flu or other communicable diseases in hospital emergency departments. 

Edmonton Journal: Schools Scramble for Teachers as H1N1 Tightens its Grip
The wave of germs that is keeping a growing number of Edmonton area students at home sick now appears to be thinning the ranks of staff at some schools, the Edmonton Journal reports.

CBC.ca: Nunavut Starts Swine Flu Shots Nov. 1 
The H1N1 shot will be offered to everyone eligible to get it (as opposed to priority groups such as pregnant women and those with chronic conditions), starting November 1. Nunavut expects to "be able to finish its vaccination program ahead of most other provinces and territories," chief medical officer Isaac Sobol told the CBC. 

Related:

Healthzone.ca: Where to Get Your Shots in the GTA
An interactive map that is updated as information changes.

New Scientist: Swine Flu: Eight Myths That Could Endanger Your Life
New Scientist magazine went back and looked at the research -- and found that even some government  agencies are missing the mark on a few key points.

Resource Swap

How is your family dealing with the H1N1 issue? Have you blogged about it? Do you have a useful resource to share? Please comment below so that others who are struggling with this issue can benefit from your insights and experience. Thanks.

Name That Baby! A Roundup of Baby Name Tools and Reader Advice About Naming Your Baby

Resource Swap

Parenting resource swap

Baby Name Voyager
Take a scientific approach to the art of naming your baby by analyzing graphs plotting baby name trends. Nine-and-a-half months may not be long enough for you to pour through all the data and cool tools. (Recommended by @kittenpie.)

Nameberry.com 
Nameberry.com is the brainchild of bestselling baby name books author Pamela Redmond Satron. The site allows you to search for names, browse baby names lists, and otherwise tap into the baby names buzz. (Recommended by @JenSinger.)

Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing: A Primer on Parent Cruelty
"Some parents-to-be have gone so far into the realm of baby-obsession they have lost track of the real, adult world. Their view is so skewed their only concerns are a) making their child "unique" and b) trying to keep the kid from being teased, often with terrible results."

What's your name? 
What's in a baby name? Plenty, as regular readers of Kristen Rushowy's celebration of unusual baby names can attest. Rushowy tells the story of the tiny little person behind the fascinating baby name.

Naming Your Children
Everyone has advice to offer on the naming of babies. "I have no children, and have never meaningfully contributed to the naming of another child. Nonetheless, I have devised a few simple rules for safely naming your kids," notes blogger and author Darren Barefoot.

The Call of the Child
Just say no to that baby name. "if you name your daughter Oprah, you're loading her down with a lot of baggage,'" warns Andy Meisler, author of What Not to Name Your Baby.

Why Your Baby's Name Will Sound Like Everyone Else's 
So much for thinking your baby name was special. Here's what the baby name scientists at Wired have to say: "The national nomenclature is transformed living room by living room as one frazzled couple after another makes a seemingly personal decision for underlying phonetic reasons they haven’t considered."

Parenting Grapevine

A roundup of parenting wisdom via parenting blogs and/or Twitter

On the Naming of Kids "When we were expecting Pumpkinpie, I started the naming process by giving Misterpie a list of five girl names that I loved and would be thrilled to have any one of. He immediately vetoed all five. I may or may not have told him he sucked." From @kittenpie.

The Great Skeet Shoot
In our house, the process of choosing a baby name goes through several painful and protracted phases. First, we pass through The Zorro Phase. This is where the Hubster, confident that he has many, many months to settle on a name, entertains himself by suggesting clearly outrageous and inappropriate names (Like Zorro. Or Gandalf. Or D'Artagnan. Or Clytemnestra, if it was a girl.) in an attempt to be funny. From @negativelane.

Laying Claim to the Baby Name
Here's a baby naming etiquette question you won't see asked (or answered) very many places. If two pregnant best friends both announce one after the other that they intend to name their babies Zakir Emmanuel, should one mom-to-be pick a new name? If so, which one? From @designhermomma.

Wonderful One
@ewiller wrote about her youngest's naming day (alternative to christening) and about his name: "Everyone here seems to think your name is Kale-um or Calleb. But you are our Callum." From @ewiller.

Thanks for all your contributions to this column. I really appreciate them. NOTE: If you had planned to recommend a baby naming resource or to share one of your own blog posts (or your own experiences) on this topic, don't worry. It's not too late. Simply post the details in the comment section below so that other parents can benefit from your wisdom on this topic.

From Mean Girls to Perfection Pressures to Baby Names

NEWSWIRE

A roundup of essays, opinion pieces, and/or noteworthy news items about all things parenting.

THE MEAN SCENE

“Girls are not brought up to be assertive. They’re raised to be nice and pretty and have lots of friends. But they themselves recognize meanness as an integral part, even a normal part, of their growing up....It’s what girls do to get by. They need to dress the part and look the part and gather their army of friends around them. Their capital is their friends, their hair, their name-brand clothing – that’s power for them.”
- Nicole Landry, research coordinator with the Department of Community Health and Epidemiology in the Faculty of Medicine, Dalhousie University, and author, The Mean Girl Motive: Negotiating Power and Femininity (Halifax: Fernwood Publishing), quoted in "Survival of the Meanest" by Marilyn Smulders at dalnews.dal.ca.

LITTLE MISS PERFECT

Researchers at Dalhousie University in Halifax have come up with a theory to explain the vicious cycle that can link perfectionism to binge eating. Psychologists Simon Sherry and Peter A. Hall analyzed the daily behaviors of undergraduates and discovered that students who binge eat use the experience of eating to block out overwhelming feelings of loneliness, failure, and sadness. The relief is only temporary, however, as those emotions are replaced with longer-lasting feelings of guilt and shame. Learning to modify goals and expectations to better reflect what's realistic and achievable can reduce the desire to binge eat as a way of coping, leading to a happier and healthier individual, they concluded. The study was published in a recent issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

PARENT LAB

Noteworthy research from the world of parenting.

GREAT NAME, HAPPY LIFE

There's a lot on the line when it comes to naming your baby. A recent study conducted by researchers at Cardiff University has confirmed what kids on the playground have known forever: it's easier to lead a happier life if your parents gave you the gift of a great name.

The researchers also found that people who really, really, really liked their name (like who were totally in love with their name) tended to score highly for self-deception. So if your friend Toaster insists that he absolutely adores his name, you might conclude that the dude protests too much.

The study was published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

RESOURCE SWAP

Parenting resource swap.

BABY NAMES

Let's continue the chit-chat about baby names by making it the subject of the first Resource Swap.

If you've written a blog post on the subject of baby names and you're particularly proud of it OR you've got some baby naming resources to recommend, email me so that I can include your recommendations in the initial roundup of resources.

If you miss this initial call for posts and resources, don't panic. You can add your links/resources once the post goes live on Thursday. In the world of parenting, deadlines have to be flexible, right?

~ ~ ~

PS: Thanks very much for the comments on Thursday's post. I really appreciate your feedback on the new blog format. I also received some very positive tweets. Those were much appreciated, too. Hope you're all enjoying a fabulous Canadian Thanksgiving holiday weekend with friends/family. Thank you for being part of my blog family year in and year out (and, in the case of many of you, for many years running, from blog to blog). I am very grateful for your loyalty and your friendship.

From Airbrushed Photos to Motherhood Realities to a Quiet Fish

NEWSWIRE

A roundup of essays, opinion pieces, and/or noteworthy news items about all things parenting.

PICTURE TOO PERFECT

"When writers take a news item or real event and considerably embellish it, they are required to alert readers by calling the work fiction, a novel or a story based on dramatized facts. Why should it be any different for photographs?"
- French Parliamentarian Valérie Boyer, quoted in France Considers Warning Labels for Airbrushed Photos, Time, October 5, 2009

"Cosmetic surgery rates are rising dramatically as are the numbers suffering from eating disorders. We need to bring some honesty into advertising."
- British MP Jo Swinson quoted in Lib Dems Call for Ban on Airbrushed Photos, guardian.co.uk, September 19, 2009

PARENTING GRAPEVINE

A roundup of parent wisdom via parent blogs and/or Twitter.

ANGER

"I haven’t been blogging lately because I’ve been angry," Tatiana writes in her blog Was It A Very Good Year. Then she goes on to explain why. The result is a powerful post about motherhood, womanhood, and wanting more from a world that too often disappoints.

BEDREST

"What started as a very cutting edge pregnancy -- all those high-tech fertility interventions! -- has ended up an anachronism," writes Deborah Siegel (formerly Girl w/ Pen, now Mama w/ Pen). "I now understand, in a very personal way, why pregnancy was once called 'confinement,' or 'lying in.' Hospitalized for early contractions at 30 weeks, I’ve spent the past 3.5 flat on my side.... "

RELATIONSHIPS

"I'm still coming down from the buzz I felt this past weekend," confesses Carly Cooper, Balance the Mother Load columnist at SweetMama.ca. "And it's not from the dessert wine I learned to love after my dinner. My husband Marc and I took a much needed mini-vacation. For the past six months, life got in our way. Work was demanding (spring and summer are Marc's busiest time), stress and overwhelm took over and as a result our relationship got off track. We knew things had to change."

WORK

Home-based business owner and mother Michele Dortch wonders, in her blog The Integrated Mother, if she should stick with the life she had created or go back to the traditional workforce. "I love my flexible, work-at-home lifestyle. But in the last year, there’s been a distant whisper that’s beckoning me to return to the “traditional” workforce. Whenever I hear it I think, “No way! I’ve been on my own since 2003. It’ll be impossible to go back to…that.”

ONE-QUESTION INTERVIEW

A one-question interview about something to do with parenting.

Today's interviewee: Andrea of A Peek Inside the Fishbowl -- a very popular Ottawa, Ontario, blogger (and blog).

ANN: I can't remember exactly when you launched your blog or how it got its name. All I know is that it was one of the first blogs I started reading -- and that I've never stopped reading it -- and you've never stopped writing it. Obviously, you're enjoying writing your blog as much as your readers enjoy reading it. I'm hoping you will answer this question for me: How has blogging made your life better as a parent and a writer?

ANDREA: My blog got its name from my business, quietfish, which comes from a line in a Dr.Seuss book called My Many Colored Days: “Green Days. Deep deep in the sea. Cool and quiet fish. That’s me.”

Blogging has had an immensely positive impact on my life. It’s opened up many new opportunities for me as a writer but it’s also my community. I’ve connected with other parents, challenged my creative brain, and gotten a boost when I needed one. I love to write.  I love being a parent. Combining the two has made me a happier person. Vive le blog!

PS -- Let me know what you think of the new/evolving blog format. As I noted in a recent post, I'll be rotating a variety of different departments in and out of the blog, to mix things up a bit and bring you more of what you want (according to the results of the recent reader survey). - Ann

How You Can Contribute to The Mother of All Parenting Blogs

This is your blog, too, after all.

Here's how you can get involved.

• Post a comment on one of my blog posts.
• Blog about one of my posts and post your link in the comments section on this blog so that others can find and read your post.
• Let me know when you've written a post that I might want to blog about.
• Participate in the Resource Swap feature of this blog. (I'll be posting themes in advance so that you have time to plan your post or to send me a link to a post on this theme you've already written.)
• Get in touch if you have an idea for a blog post. I'm always looking for things to write about. (Just make sure you read my blog first so that you know what kinds of things I write about and what types of things simply aren't a good fit for me (contests and giveaways). Otherwise you're wasting your time and mine. And life is too short for that. :-)

Please note:
I love to receive leads on news about parenting research, polls, studies, and other types of news (art, science, environment, anthropology, literature, film) that would be of interest to parents. You can cast your net pretty widely on this one.

You can contact me via email (note new address) or on Twitter (@anndouglas or @themotherofall). Materials that need to be sent by mail can be sent to my office:
Page One Productions Inc.,
3108 Frances Stewart Road,
Peterborough, Ontario. K9H 7J8.