For Parents Who Love to Write

I was reading Andrea Gordon's article describing the latest parenting trends over breakfast this morning. (Yep. I'm a day behind in my newspapers again.)

In her article, Andrea mentioned the momoir -- the motherhood memoir -- and how many moms are taking to writing their own.

That got me thinking about how the fatherhood memoir is still lacking a decent name.

Dad-oir? I don't think so.

Anyway, after I put down the newspaper and poured myself a second cup of coffee, I realized I had a tip sheet I could share with parents who love to write (.pdf file).

The handout was created for a workshop I gave at The Baby and Toddler Show in the fall of 2007. While the intended audience was new or expectant parents (both moms and dads) who wanted some quick tips about documenting their most memorable parenting experiences, much of the advice in this handout will apply to parents (and writers) at any stage.

Whether you're a parent or a writer (or both), finding community is critical. Only another parent (or another writer) can understand the highs and lows of the sometimes crazy-making journey you're on. So do yourself a favor and join forces with a fellow traveler or two (.pdf). You'll find the journey a lot less lonely and a lot more fun .   

Calling All Parents Who Write: If you're a parent and a writer and you have your own tricks of the trade to share, I'm sure a lot of people would love to hear them. How do you find time to write? How do you get the mental space to write? (If you're worried about a kid-related issue, it's not always easy to clear your head of that worry long enough to produce a brilliant piece of writing, let alone a grocery list.)

Comments

[Julie Cole]

thanks for the link to your tip sheet Ann! Don't know how I missed that at Babytime.
I love writing and do a bit of it....but hard to fit in with business in babies. But, it's having a business and babies that gives me so much material to share!

[Andrea]

I am very jealous and possessive of my writing time. Once Frances is in bed and the exercise is over with (if I exercise too late it keeps me up, so it has to come first), I get my 500 words in come hell or high water. Everything else--housework, bills, emails, sleep--comes after the 500 words.

Which means I'm chronically exhausted. But it's the only way to get it in, and if I don't do it, no one else is going to make sure I get that time.

[Sarah]

I treat my writing like real work, whether I am getting paid or not. It makes it eassier to request (or demand) the time /i need. Still I often use naptimes and school hours to write as well as some late nights. And like Andrea, writing is a priority over most household chores.

[BeachMama]

Thank you Ann for the tip sheets. Although I do love to write, so far it doesn't come first for me. Perhaps when my youngest is just a bit older I can get back to my writing in earnest. I will file away your tips for the days when I get to truly use them.

[Ann Douglas]

I knew you guys would come through with great tips/advice. I can't resist commenting on some of your comments because you raise such great points.

Julie, You point to the struggle we face as parents who love to write -- finding time when there are so many other demands on our time/energy etc. Each of us finds a way to deal with that. Some, like Andrea, get their 500 words in come hell or high water. (And given the rainfall this summer, Andrea, that's saying a lot.) I like Sarah's advice about making writing a priority over most household chores. I have never caught up on the household chores since my first child was born 20 years ago. If I was waiting for the household chores to be all done in order to sit down to write, I'd still be waiting for that perfect time to write.

BeachMama: What you say makes perfect sense, too. You know that this isn't the right time for you to focus on writing. You've got other stuff going on for you right now. But you can look forward to a time when you can pick up writing again -- and you can feel relaxed and unhurried about that. That's what really matters: finding the solution that feels comfortable and that works best for you.

Thanks for all the great feedback, everyone.

[Heather Cook]

I've been juggling a writing career with kids for about five years now. I was always a writer, but it was more abstract . . . like my family called me the writer of the family but I had nothing published. After my son was born in 2001 I felt like I had something to say, so I wrote it.

I write mainly when the kids are napping, sleeping at night or distracted by Dora. My daughter has a spot right beside my desk, she sits on a small two drawer filing cabinet and colours right next to my keyboard. When my kids were newborns I wrote with them in a sling. I've written on my laptop while making dinner (not advised if cooking bacon). I've editing while watching swimming lessons and at the side of the soccer field (not easy on windy days).

The trick (I think) is to balance your writing time with the time your kids need. And quality time. Take breaks and play. Stop and read books. Go for a walk. As they get older it's ok to say "hang on a minute, mommy has to finish this, I will play in three minutes" as long as you don't abuse that!

[Ann Douglas]

Thanks for adding your tips, Heather. (The bacon advisory is proof that you know what you're talking about.) :-)

BTW -- No thread on this blog is ever really closed, so if you spot a blog post you'd like to comment on, dive in! I get notified about your comment so I'll see it whenever and wherever you post it. (Because we didn't have commenting on this blog when it first launched, some posts never had the chance to receive comments. It was lonely talking to myself.) ;-)