Latest Call for Proposals from the First Press to Specialize in Books on Motherhood/Mothering (a press based in the GTA)

I couldn't resist passing this information along right away because I know many of you will want to consider contributing to this mothering anthology yourself or you'll know someone who will want to contribute (or know about) this project. It sounds like it's going to be fantastic. Just FYI: Demeter Press is the first press to specialize in books about motherhood/mothering and it's based right here in the GTA.

If you visit the Demeter Press website, you can find about other books the press has in the works. Readers of this blog may be particularly interested in the call for proposals for Mothering Canada as well as Queer Parenting. [Note: See also my earlier post about this related parenting anthology being published by Toronto's Insomniac Press.] Demeter Press is also currently accepting proposals for projects for publishing year 2012-2013, according to the most recent information available on the site (the guidelines for prospective authors, available for download from the press home page).

While you're there, be sure to check out Demeter's impressive (and growing) list of books on mothering. (I'm pretty pumped about the essay I have coming out in Mothering and Blogging: The Radical Act of the MommyBlog by May Friedman and Shana L. Calixte, which is being published next spring.)

Just as a point of interest, Demeter Press' name was inspired by Demeter, the Greek goddess of motherhood.

- Ann

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CALL FOR PAPERS

DEMETER PRESS is seeking submissions for an edited collection on Latina/Chicana Mothering Publication Date: Spring 2011
Editors: Dorsía Smith Silva and Janine Santiago
We are very excited to edit an interdisciplinary book on mothering in the Latina and Chicana communities. We seek papers that examine the narratives, histories, practices, and theories of Latina and Chicana mothering as they reflect the realities and complexities of diverse perspectives. Latina and Chicana mothering is a rich experience, which engenders a sense of identity, multiple viewpoints, and cultural orientations. Here, the Latina/Chicana mothering experience seeks to provide a site for inquiry of those life histories and legacies, which have been marked by undergoing childbirth, raising children, or becoming mothers, as well as transatlantic mothers. One of the main goals of this text will be to examine the complex representations of Latina and Chicana mothering and to address the space where Latina and Chicana perspectives are in many cases rendered invisible. We encourage varied approaches from across the humanities and social sciences including, but not limited to topics as the following: theoretical, historical, cultural, feminist, maternal, transgender, and gender studies; personal and reflective essays; ethnographies; oral histories, cultural studies; literary representation; mother activists and activism perspectives; constructions and hybridity theories of identity and changes in identity; constructions of ethnicity and changes in ethnicity; Latina and Chicana/mothering in global and transnational contexts; issues of immigration, diaspora, citizenship, national identity, embodiment theories; feminist philosophies of mothers and mothering; film and media representations; mothering conflicts; ideological and social debates and tensions within discussions of Latina and Chicana mothering; mothering critiques; issues of Latina and Chicana mothering, especially as they intersect with categories of race, discrimination, class, gender, economics, nation, family, community, education, and language; law, political, or scientific issues; politics and public policies; poverty; health, health care, reproduction, and reproductive rights; the role of web communities and technology; spiritual, cultural, emotional, communal, or social influences; support services for Latina and Chicana mothers; self-sponsored Latina and Chicana mothering communities and institutions; ideologies in Latino and Chicano communities Abstracts/Proposals (250-400 words) due October 31, 2008
Acceptances made by December 1, 2008
Accepted and completed papers (15-20 pp. double-spaced, MLA format) due: March 31, 2009
Please send inquiries and papers, along with a brief biography, to: Editors, Dorsía Smith Silva and Janine Santiago at latinachicanamothering@yahoo.com.

About the Editors:

Dorsía Smith Silva teaches English in the College of General Studies at the University of Puerto Rico, Río Piedras.  Her research and teaching focus on Ethnic and Caribbean Literature, the Latino community and the Diaspora, and feminism.  She is the author of several articles and is the co-editor of The Caribbean without Borders: Caribbean Literature, Language, and Culture (Cambridge Scholars Press, 2008).

Janine Santiago is an Assistant Professor of English at University of Puerto Rico, College of General Studies.  Santiago was granted a Ph.D. in American Studies from the State University of New York at Buffalo in 2003. Her research interests are in the areas of Gender Studies, Oral History, Caribbean Women Writers, and Hispanic and Latino/a Literature and Popular Culture.  She has published several articles, including her work in Latinas in the United States: A Historical Encyclopedia (2006).

Association for Research on Mothering (ARM) Demeter Press 726 Atkinson, York University
4700 Keele Street Toronto, ON, Canada, M3J 1P3 416-736-2100 x60366 (fax) 416-736-5766
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Reality TV Industry Reality Check: Babies Aren't Props, Says APA

You don't often catch the American Psychiatric Association playing the role of TV critic, but clearly the APA felt it had to give the reality TV industry a reality check about the use of real babies as TV props.

The sternly worded press statement, issued this afternoon, condemns the controversial NBC reality TV show The Baby Borrowers -- a show in which teenagers are given the opportunity to showcase their caregiving skills (or lack thereof) by borrowing babies, toddlers, tweens, teens, and senior citizens.

What's particularly chilling about the way NBC has packaged the show (at least online) is the fact that it's described as a "social experiment" right from the get-go. And then there's the fact that the attention paid to the furnishings in the homes seem almost Stepford-like (we're supposed to be talking about caregiving skills, not home decorating, right?)

What's most disappointing about this whole incident is the fact that a non-profit organization that works with teens allowed itself to be part of this whole dog and pony show. That organization even produced episode guides that focused narrowly on its own organizational mandate (preventing teen pregnancy) while neglecting the broader issue of family well-being. (Babies and toddlers don't like being taken away from their parents and dumped with strangers. You'd think this would have raised a red flag with someone.)

If the MythBusters make a point of telling you at the start of each episode that you really shouldn't be trying this cool-but-incredibly-dangerous thing at home, shouldn't The Baby Borrowers have to issue a similar disclaimer when they're totally messing with everything learned to date about healthy infant and child attachment and development? Having a nanny and the real parents watching the temporary teen parents via one-way camera doesn't mean a thing to a baby who is experiencing separation anxiety -- unless the parents and the producers agree that it would be appropriate for a parent to intervene. And, of course, too many interventions make for bad TV.

Clearly the APA is concerned about this very issue -- what the viewing public will make of this surreal piece of reality TV. Just for the record, here's what they had to say in their statement. Oh yeah: They're not speaking the language of cautionary press releases this time around. They're spitting mad (assuming a professional body representing psychiatrists allows itself to get spitting mad.) Check out the wording for yourself.

"The American Psychiatric Association deplores the use of babies and toddlers as props or experimental subjects for a television program. It is inappropriate and sometimes harmful to remove very young children from their families and familiar environments, and the level of harm may not be apparent on simple observation. Since the program is meant to reveal whether or not the 'borrowers' are competent to care for these children, at least some of the children will have been exposed to incompetent and confused caregivers, and to whatever problematic situations arose as the caregivers struggled with each other. We urge NBC never to repeat this misuse of children; not to allow reruns to air; and to use every means to discourage the use of episodes in parenting classes or other venues where they might well be shown."

It will be interesting to see how NBC responds -- and how the viewing public reacts in turn.

Stay tuned.

Raising a Country Along With a Kid: Why Politics Should Matter to Every Canadian Parent

One of the ways I can gauge how busy I've been is by the number of newspapers that have piled up in my front hall, unread. Because I currently subscribe to three daily newspapers, it doesn't take more than a day or two for the newspapers to start building up, beaver dam-style, in the front hall, leaving me with this sense that I've completely lost touch with the outside world. It's not a good feeling.

Mind you, It used to be worse. When I had three children under 3 ½, I only subscribed to one newspaper (the local daily) and the only national news I could count on catching on a regular basis was whatever portion of Morningside I managed to hear while shuttling my oldest to and from nursery school. It's no wonder I've never grasped the intricacies of NAFTA (a frustrating state of affairs for someone with a degree in Canadian and American history). Most of my knowledge on the subject was picked up in a moving vehicle with a preschooler, a toddler, and a baby simultaneously competing for my attention.

I shared my NAFTA experience to prove a point: I don't think any of us can afford the luxury of being politically unaware. So much of what we value about Canada and consider to be part of being Canadian is up for grabs these days. We don't want to blink and realize that something that we considered sacred and non-negotiable about Canada disappeared while we were busy changing diapers or reading bedtime stories.

Canada needs to hear the voices of parents and those who are passionate about children and families (families in all circumstances and children with every conceivable type of need, as opposed to an impossibly narrow platform that is meaningless to most parents I know). That can only happen if large numbers of parents learn how the political system works and how to make the system work for them by nominating or electing candidates who will support policies that will make a real difference for all families and children, particularly the country's most vulnerable.

Mahatma Gandhi once said: "My notion of democracy is that under it the weakest should have the same opportunity as the strongest." By that definition, democracy in Canada isn't terribly democratic. As this compelling series indicates, when the system fails any one of us, it fails all of us. We used to know that, as Canadians, but it seems we're forgetting it, and I can't figure out why. I think parents understand this concept intuitively (given that being part of a family is all about thinking about the good of the entire family rather than just one member of the family), which is why I wrote this post: in the hope that a few more parents will understand why being an active and engaged citizen really matters.

Right now, Canada is at a crossroads. Decisions are being made that will determine the type of Canada our kids will inherit, the values that we stand for as Canadians, and the role we would like our country to play in the world. Given that being an active and engaged citizen is kind of like being caregiver to a nation, I hope you see how important it is to accept this responsibility: to commit to nurturing all the things you love about this country while you nurture and care for your children. Family care for one another, right? And as the moms and dads of the nation, we should be collectively caring for and raising this amazing country of ours.

Postscript:
If you read my essay, "Campaign Confidential" in The Maternal is Political by Shari McDonald Strong (published by Seal Press last month), you can find out what I learned about democracy and political campaigns as a first-time political volunteer. (Think postpartum mood swings, but with a political backdrop.)

For Parents Who Love to Write

I was reading Andrea Gordon's article describing the latest parenting trends over breakfast this morning. (Yep. I'm a day behind in my newspapers again.)

In her article, Andrea mentioned the momoir -- the motherhood memoir -- and how many moms are taking to writing their own.

That got me thinking about how the fatherhood memoir is still lacking a decent name.

Dad-oir? I don't think so.

Anyway, after I put down the newspaper and poured myself a second cup of coffee, I realized I had a tip sheet I could share with parents who love to write (.pdf file).

The handout was created for a workshop I gave at The Baby and Toddler Show in the fall of 2007. While the intended audience was new or expectant parents (both moms and dads) who wanted some quick tips about documenting their most memorable parenting experiences, much of the advice in this handout will apply to parents (and writers) at any stage.

Whether you're a parent or a writer (or both), finding community is critical. Only another parent (or another writer) can understand the highs and lows of the sometimes crazy-making journey you're on. So do yourself a favor and join forces with a fellow traveler or two (.pdf). You'll find the journey a lot less lonely and a lot more fun .   

Calling All Parents Who Write: If you're a parent and a writer and you have your own tricks of the trade to share, I'm sure a lot of people would love to hear them. How do you find time to write? How do you get the mental space to write? (If you're worried about a kid-related issue, it's not always easy to clear your head of that worry long enough to produce a brilliant piece of writing, let alone a grocery list.)

Ghost Stories

Despite the perfect July weather -- weather that should, more logically, be inspiring a blog post about the magic of the all-too-short Canadian summer -- I'm thinking about school.

It's not my life-long obsession with school supplies that's triggered this post, by the way. It's the ghosts of school years past, present, and future.

Let's start with the ghost of school years future, because that's the easy one. (Okay, it's easy if I focus on the immediate future and zero in on my family only.)

I have two kids starting college this fall. I'm busy helping them to fill out the endless stream of college-related paperwork that keeps showing up on the kitchen counter. They're happy, excited, and anxious. I'm mostly happy, excited, and anxious. I can't wait until we can channel the anxiety in a more productive manner -- by shopping for school supplies.

Then there's the ghost of school years present.

I just finished enrolling my ten-year-old son in a fabulous alternative school in our neighbourhood: one that specializes in helping students who have autism spectrum disorders and other conditions that affect learning to get past the issues that block learning so that they can thrive. (That's a horrible sentence, but I felt like I needed to spit it out in one breath. Please forgive me.) Anyway, my son has met a bunch of his future classmates (thanks to a birthday party invite from one of the families) and he's eager to give school another chance. I am, too.

I just wish the services that we're purchasing for him (and not easily, I might add) were available to every child who needs them. Ability to pay should not affect access to services. Isn't that a long-held Canadian value? If it is, could someone please explain to me when, as a society we decided that a user-pay system was dreadfully un-Canadian in health care but perfectly acceptable when it comes to education?

Just to be clear: This user is paying for access to appropriate educational services for her child, out of necessity, not choice.

Finally, there's the ghost of school years past.

We just learned some valuable information about our college-bound son this past week -- information that will hopefully allow him to make the most of his college experience. A psycho-educational assessment revealed that he is both gifted and that he has a functional learning disability in certain areas. The assessment included a summary of comments made on his report cards from kindergarten through Grade 12. As you move from paragraph to paragraph, you can see his enthusiasm for school fizzle out and behavioral problems emerge.

I remember a conversation I had with a school official, back when my son was in Grade 8, right after another one of my sons (who was then in Grade 6) had just been diagnosed with a learning disability. I asked the school official if my oldest son should also be assessed. The school official told me that there were only so many assessments allocated to each school each year; and because my son wouldn't be one of their students next year, they didn't want to use one of their assessments on him. Besides, he wasn't a priority case. His problems were behavioral -- not the result of a learning disability or anything like that.

I'm still mulling over that conversation many years later, thinking about opportunities lost and the kids who ultimately pay the price for lean-and-mean educational budgets. Quotas and kids don't make a good mix. When a kid needs access to services, that kid needs access immediately. It's a concept that the power-brokers in our society seem to grasp brilliantly when they're allocating budget dollars to the zero to age six developmental bracket, but it's a concept that gets erased from the blackboard the moment kids move out of that favored funding bracket and head into the early school years.

Again, I'm left wondering why.

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Postscript:

I watched the most inspiring documentary ever (well, the most inspiring documentary I've watched recently) last weekend. It's about two teachers who decide to re-introduce a theatre program to a sports-focused inner-city school, with amazing results. If you want to feel good about learning and life, I can't recommend OT: Our Town highly enough.

Baby Spice: You Can Pass Along a Love of Spicy Foods to Your Baby

Know a mom-to-be who hasn't been able to stomach anything more exotic than bananas or oatmeal in weeks (a total turnaround for someone who was always the diva of all things hot and spicy and who used to live for the morning coffee that she now finds totally repulsive)?

Blame it on early pregnancy hormones – the very same hormones that are famous (or infamous) for triggering morning sickness in newly pregnant women.

In most cases, these none-too-pleasant pregnancy side effects start to ease off by the start of the second trimester, but, as with anything else pregnancy-related, there are no guarantees as to the exact timing. Every pregnancy is unique.

You'll want to treat your friend to dinner at her favorite Thai restaurant as soon as her stomach is up to it. Not only will she be in the mood to celebrate her expanding culinary repertoire: what she dines on during pregnancy helps to educate her baby's palate. (The scent and taste of the foods she consumes during pregnancy make their way into the amniotic fluid.)

Being exposed to the taste and smell of a variety of different foods prenatally (or via breast milk during the early weeks and months after the birth) helps to ease a baby's subsequent transition to solid foods. He won't be put off by breast milk with a few spicy overtones (the exact flavor of breast milk on tap being determined in part by the breastfeeding mom's recent dietary choices) or by table foods with a bit of kick to them because the tastes and scents of the spices in the foods eaten by his family will already be familiar to him.

Of course, some babies are extra sensitive to any change in environment or routine, regardless of how much prenatal taste-testing they may have done. If you were blessed with an extra-sensitive baby, realize that you may not want to go too wild and crazy when it comes to offering the breast milk flavor du jour. Nothing tastes better to these super-sensitive little ones than the sweet taste of familiarity, after all.

Do you have any adventures in baby feeding to pass along? Maybe your baby loves or hates certain tastes or textures of foods. What words of wisdom can you offer to other parents, based on what you've learned from your baby? (One of the moms that I interviewed for my book Mealtime Solution for Your Baby, Toddler, and Preschooler swears that her baby was bored to tears with his blander-than-bland baby food fare, so he decided to take matters into his own hands, literally. He grabbed a fist full of spicy food off her plate and savored every bite. She took that as a hint that he wanted her to spice up his diet, effective immediately.)

Why Balance is the New B-Word

Ellen Galinsky, President, Families and Work Institute, thinks its time we came up with alternatives to the word balance to describe the act of managing priorities at home and at work -- and I have to agree. Every time I see the b-word I feel out-of-balance, unbalanced, and doomed to be off-balance as long as anyone is keeping score.

So clearly the concept hasn't been working for me.

Galinsky makes an excellent case for ditching the term.

"First, the word “balance” implies a scale where if one side is up, the other has to be down. It
is an either/or concept. In contrast, our studies [at the Families and Work Institute] ... have shown that managing work and personal/family life is not a zero-sum game, where if people give to one aspect of their lives, they necessarily take away from the others."

It's also important to recognize that not everyone is seeking balance. Some people consciously choose to give work or family the edge during a particular stage in their lives.

Galinksy and a team of researchers from the Families and Work Institute, Catalyst, and the Boston Center for Work and Family recently examined the strategies people use to achieve their personal work-life goals (Leaders in a Global Economy).

The researchers discovered that dual-centric people (people who place the same priority on work and personal/family life) enjoyed the highest levels of job satisfaction and the lowest levels of stress (as compared to work-centric or family-centric people).

They also discovered that many of the dual-centric workers (62 percent of whom also happen to be parents with young children) use the following strategies to minimize work-family conflict.

• They teach themselves to leave work at work. They don't bring home briefcases of work home every night and they do their best to reserve evenings and weekends for family. This helps to reduce the spillover between work and family—a major source of stress for many workers.
• They focus on the task at hand rather than worrying about what else they could or should be doing. That way, they can finish the draft of the proposal or wrap up the client's year end -- and possibly still make it home in time to tuck in the kids at bedtime.
• They know when to give themselves a break. They work hard, but they play hard, too.
• They have a plan. They don't just let life happen to them. They make intentional choices about the kind of life they want for themselves and their family. Their life is all about acting on that plan.

Teen Workers Deserve Respect as Well as Safety on the Job

Employers spend a lot of time puzzling over the attitudes and behaviors of the hummingbirds (current career buzz for the current generation of young workers who are seen as flighty and constantly looking to change jobs) .

If you have teenagers who are holding down part-time or summer jobs, you no doubt have some insight into some of the reasons why young workers don't feel the same sense of job loyalty that employers used to take for granted. Rather than saying, "I owe it to the company to do a good job,"  the younger generation of workers are more likely to shrug their shoulders and say something like, "I'll do a good job while I'm here" or "Whatever. It's only work."

I think there are two factors at play here. The first is a general disillusionment with the world of work that is spreading across generations. The second is more generation-specific and adds another layer of discontent and disconnection at a critical point: when teens enter the workforce.

If part-time and summer jobs are intended as a dress rehearsal for future workplace experiences, these first experiences in the world of work are teaching many teens that they don't want to be in the actual play.

I'm not just talking about the tragic accidents that occur every year, when young workers are killed or injured on the job. (Note: The Ontario Ministry of Labor has prepared a very helpful guide for parents about talking to your teen about workplace safety issues -- a must-read for any parent of a working teen.) I'm also talking about the nasty job experiences that leave many young people determined to postpone or minimize more of the same disrespect and workplace drama after graduation day.

I remember my daughter's first "real" job, a few years back. She was so proud when she was hired part-time by a huge warehouse store that was opening in our area. She worked really hard to help get the store ready for its grand opening. Opening day came and went with great fanfare -- and then everything fell apart. Now that the store was open for business, the chain decided it was time to dispose of most of the part-time staff. They were treated like the mountain of obsolete packaging outside the shiny new store: removed from the premises at the first opportunity.

The most frustrating aspect of this story is that it's not unique. I've heard of so many other incidents of young people being treated like throw-away labor by businesses large and small. Some employers don't seem to feel the same need to be as forthright and honest with young workers as they do with their other workers -- something that can leave teens feeling rather jaded about the world of work.

While a lot of great work has been done in raising awareness of the need to keep young people safe on the job, it appears there's a huge amount of work to be done when it comes to the issue of respect. Given how much disrespect is tolerated in many workplaces (workplace bullying and harassment continues to be a huge problem for workers of all ages), it may be a long time before anyone is willing to speak out or even care about how our kids are being treated at their summer and part-time jobs.

Fortunately, our kids have us. As their parents, we need to find out how they are being treated at their part-time and summer jobs and to teach them how to advocate for themselves. That means having the very same kind of conversation that the Ministry of Labor suggests having with our teens about workplace safety (see above), but in this case the focus should be on respect in the workplace (specifically why every worker is entitled to respect and how to respond if you're not being treated with respect by co-workers, customers, or your boss).

And as for the Mystery of the Disappearing Hummingbirds—the one that has employers calling in the HR experts in an effort to try to figure out why young people today just won't stick around?

Respect begets respect.

Loyalty begets loyalty.

It's really not that mysterious.

Note: I would like to thank Nora Spinks of Work-Life Harmony for a discussion we had about two years ago related to teens and horrible summer job experiences. Some of what we talked about that day has been perculating in my head ever since (like a really dark and potent cup of coffee). Thanks for always being so generous with your wisdom and insights, Nora.

Now over to you, parents and teens. Have you (or has your teen) had a really negative -- or a really positive -- job experience: one that really affected how you (or he/she) felt about the workforce over the long-term? Parents: How can we help our teens to get through the bad experiences? Have you ever intervened in a workplace situation on your teen's behalf?

New Novel About Motherhood Tackles Work-Life Issues Head-On

What sleep-deprived new mother could stroll pass a copy of The Ten Year Nap without at least pausing to take a quick browse? It's not just the word "nap" that is enticing. The cover image of the clock (set a few minutes before 7 am, the motherhood morning rush hour) also conspires to draw the reader in.

No doubt about it. Novelist Meg Wolitzer knows her audience (any modern mom). And because she's so familiar with the politics and geography of modern day motherhood (hardly surprising, given that she is the mother of two teenagers herself), she didn't have any illusions about being able to slip a novel like hers under the literary world radar screen.

Delving as it does into the choices mothers make about going back to work or not going back to work after baby (assuming, of course, that mothers have any choice at all); and, if they do take time off to for a number of years, how the work world goes on without them while they're immersed in the work and wonder of raising a child, the novel is too honest and too enjoyable a read to miss.

Wolitzer had anticipated that the book would generate some buzz ("Fiction doesn't always have a subject that people are as passionate about") but she's been surprised by the way interviewers want her to take sides in the so-called mommy wars -- a debate that many mothers argue is more a media invention than a bonafide chasm between real mothers. (Amy, one of Wolitzer's four lead characters, questions the authenticity of the mommy wars debate, inside the novel: "Maybe the idea of the supposed tension between working and non-working mothers had been put out in the world just to cause divisiveness," she remarks. [57] )

While Salon may have managed to convince her to stake out more of a position than she might have liked on this issue, Wolitzer stresses that, as a novelist, it's not her job to take sides, but rather to create a world in which ideas about what's working and what's not working for families today can be explored through the lives of her characters.

It was the desire to explore multiple perspectives on this issue that inspired her to write this novel in the first place. After getting to know other mothers through her children's school, Wolitzer began to see that all mothers' lives are "difficult and complicated". On a personal level, she found that her early instinct to judge other mothers gave way to a desire to understand those mothers and to reach out in friendship.

I had the opportunity to interview Meg Wolitzer in early June, just prior to the Toronto leg of her book tour.

What's your take on this issue? Do you think we have a lot more "talk" on family-friendly work policies than "walk"? Should government or business be doing more to help families to meet their conflicting responsibilities as parents and employees? (The gap between the school day and the work day is just the most visible example of how the two worlds don't mesh very well.) Are you less likely to judge other parents as you becoming a more experienced parent yourself?