Latest Canadian Bullying Research Finds that 10 Percent of Kids Bully Persistently

The kids have been back in school for a few weeks now -- plenty of time for bullying to start rearing its ugly head once again.

Whether bullying gets expressed as a body slam in the hallways, a shove that ends a classmate tumbling off the balance beam during gym class, or a nasty rumor that gets started in math class and ends up all over Facebook by the end of the day, bullying can make life a misery for the child being bullied –- and the fallout can be experienced for a lifetime.

Bullying shouldn't be brushed off as a normal childhood rite of passage -- not when there's a huge and growing body of research to demonstrate that allowing kids to battle things out à la The Lord of The Flies can result in real-life tragedies. Parents, teachers, and other adults have an important role to play in teaching kids healthier ways to sort out conflicts and manage feelings of aggression at home, at school, and in the community.

The bullying problem is more widespread and the fallout of bullying is far more serious than most people realize. Consider the latest study conducted by a team of researchers at York University and Queen's University ("Developmental Trajectories of Bullying and Associated Factors" -- slated for publication in the March/April issue of Child Development). The lead author of this study is Debra Pepler, a Distinguished Research Professor of Psychology at York University and Senior Associate Scientist at The Hospital for Sick Children. Queen’s University Professor Wendy Craig, York University Professor Jennifer Connolly, and statistician Dr. Depeng Jiang coauthored the study.

The researchers studied 871 Canadian children, ages 10 through 18. They found that about 10 percent of children bully other children on an persistent basis.

Treating this type of persistent bullying requires a two-pronged approach, the researchers concluded:

(1) interventions that focus on the child’s behaviour and problem-solving skills; and
(2) interventions that focus on the child's relationships with parents and peers.

Ultimately, the researchers would like to find a way of identifying those kids who are at high risk of developing bullying behaviors so that they can break the bullying cycle before it becomes well established. That would mean providing the potential bully with intensive support before the child at risk of bullying embarks on what Pepler refers to as a "career path" of bullying – a path that can lead to a series of serious relationship problems throughout life. (In addition to being aggressive, children who bully are morally disengaged: they lack compassion for those whom they victimize or guilt for their actions.)

The researchers recommend that future research in this area examine the links between bullying and other forms of relationship aggression such as dating aggression and sexual harassment.

Related:
Rick Mercer's Rant on Bullying

Now over to you:
What do you think of the results of this latest study? Has bullying been an issue for you or other members of your family? Is your child's school involved in anti-bullying initiatives? Have you witnessed bullying in other areas of your life? What seems to be most effective, based on your own experience, in dealing with bullying?

Piece of Cake

It's the accumulation of a million-and-one small moments that make a school great.

I got the chance to witness some of that behind-the-scenes magic at my eleven-year-old's new school this week when I volunteered to accompany his class on their first field trip of the year.

As any veteran of school field trips can tell you, school trips are when you get to see what is really holding your kids' school community together: cement, icing sugar, or crazy glue. You see, when you're on a field trip, everyone is at their most spontaneous and hyped up. That can be a bit freaky, if you're not expecting it. Kids are getting high on the adrenaline that floods their systems anytime they're allowed off school property. Hyper-caffeinated teachers are doing their best to counter that kid-adrenaline with every tool in their teaching tool-kits. And then there's the added stress of having a handful of parent-spectator-helpers along for the ride.

It's not always total bliss for the parent-spectator-helpers, either, I can tell you. I've been on field trips in the past where I was totally preoccupied by the sound of my own watch ticking. ("Let it be over. Let it be over.") One particularly sanity-testing trip comes to mind: a nursery school or kindergarten trip to a pumpkin patch. I hated the thought of having to tell some justifiably outraged mom or dad that I'd lost their kid in the corn maze, but it looked like the trip was going to end that way. Luckily, the child in question turned up just in time for our group to hop on the bus. No damage done except to my aforementioned sanity.

This week's field trip was a cakewalk in comparison. I had even offered to drive a group of five pre-teens to the local museum so that the school could save money on transportation. The kids were hilarious. (Not quiet, but hilarious.) So getting there was a blast.

When we got to the museum, they settled down enough to learn what they were supposed to be learning -- not like mindless drones, but like kids with a genuine interest in learning. (This tells me a lot about how they're being taught.) And when they did start to get rowdy -- as you'd expect them to do when they were given the chance to explore darkened tunnels by themselves -- the teachers got them back under control without playing drill sargeant or anything like that. (Again, very impressive, particularly when you consider that every child in this group is dealing with some sort of special need.) They made it seem like a piece of cake.

And speaking of pieces of cake, let me tell you about a special tradition they have at this school that's so simple and yet that speaks volumes about who they are and how they feel children should be treated.

Whenever a child has a birthday, some of the other kids in the class bake a cake for that child. That cake is served at lunch and the entire class sings happy birthday and everyone eats birthday cake together. Then the entire class heads out on a field trip that is planned to take advantage of that child's interests. When it's your birthday, you are truly the star of the day -- and all learning and activities centre around things that you love. Those activities become all the more interesting and motivating to the other children because they have something to do with you, their friend.

It's not rocket science (although the kids did learn about volcanoes and dynamite and other things that explode while they were at the museum on my son's birthday). It's all about celebrating what makes each person unique and special – while enjoying an enriched day of learning and lovingly prepared chocolate dessert.

Piece of cake, like I said.

I'm so grateful my son's teachers get it.

Childcare Crunch Won't Go Away Unless We Make It An Election Issue

You have roughly one in five odds of winning at childcare roulette:
of finding a regulated childcare space for your child.

Those are the childcare facts of life in this country -- and Canadian families are paying the price as a result.

So is the Canadian economy.

After all, a parent who is worried about the type of care his or her child is receiving at daycare isn't a particularly productive worker.

The business community has already woken up to the fact that childcare isn't just a family issue: it's a business issue, too. Now we just need government to join parents and employers at the table.

In an effort to get childcare back in the national spotlight during election time –- a time when politicians have a vested interested in paying attention to ordinary citizens -- the national childcare advocacy group Code Blue is urging parents to ensure that childcare gets the serious attention it deserves.

They're asking parents to

1. read the childcare report card they've prepared for the major political parties and

2.  ensure that childcare-related questions make it on to the agenda for the national leaders' debate and out into the spotlight in other ways (You'll no doubt have other opportunities in your own neighborhood to ask childcare-related question at local all-candidates' debates.)

Code Blue would like to see the next government make a major investment in childcare –- to take Canada out of the basement when it comes to international rankings of spending on early learning and child care programs. We're last among 14 similar countries, according to a report prepared by the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development. That's not just an international embarrassment. It's a national disgrace. We're letting down an entire generation of children. What we need is a national non-profit childcare system -- quality, regulated, and available to every child who needs it. We don't ask families to spin the roulette wheel to see if their kids should qualify for the right to go to school. Why should we play roulette with their well-being when they are even younger and more vulnerable?

Is it ignorance or lack of caring or both that has been driving the federal childcare agenda for the past almost-three-years? That's what Code Blue spokeswoman Susan Harney wants to know.

"Stephen Harper is clearly out of touch with -- or he doesn't care about -- the child-care crisis facing the majority of families today. Harper's answer when families ask why there isn't space for their children is a measly, taxable $100 a month and then he sends families out to fend for themselves."

Father of two Michel Laflamme agrees: “I don’t know what Mr. Harper expects parents to do when good child care costs so much and is so hard to find. A hundred dollar-a-month taxable allowance doesn’t help very much when parents face child care costs of up to $10,000 a year—and can’t even find a space to begin with.”

Childcare by the numbers

Spaces:

837,923              Regulated child care spaces for children 0-12 in Canada in (2007)
17.2 percent        Percentage of children 0-12 for whom there is a regulated space (2006)
19.3 percent        Percent of children 0-5 for whom there is a regulated space (2006)

Funding:

$950 million     Federal transfer funds designated for Early Childhood Education and Childcare (2006/07)
$600 million     Federal transfer funds designated for Early Childhood Education and Childcare (2007/08)

Demographics:

69 percent       Labour force participation rate of mothers with youngest child 0-3 (2005)
76 percent       Labour force participation rate of mothers with youngest child 3-5 (2005)

Source: Childcare Resource and Research Unit.

Related:
Raising a Country Along With a Kid: Why Politics Should Matter to Every Canadian Parent

What's in a Name (Other Than a Lifetime of Mortification, if Your Parents Saddle You With The World's Worst Name)

True confession time: I was a total under-achiever in the baby name game.

Apparently, there's more to picking out a baby name than considering such obvious issues as how easy it is to spell it (and whether there are multiple variant spellings), ease of pronunciation (and how well the name carries across a crowded playground), and whether the name triggers any horrible childhood memories for you and/or your partner. For example: Did a kid with the same name make your life miserable when you were in Grade 4?  If so, you may want to scratch that name off your list.

I suppose my over-the-top practicality explains my fascination with "What's Your Name?" -- The Star's celebration of babies and their often one-of-a-kind baby names: I get to hear the stories about how parents decided to toss baby-name traditions out the window and come up with something uniquely wonderful for their uniquely wonderful little ones.

The trend towards unusual baby names -- which started out with the celebrities -- has carried over into the book world as well. The latest baby name book to cross my desk -- A is for Atticus: Baby Names from Great Books by Lorilee Craker (Centre Street, $14.50) – is a lot of fun for bookish types. Of course, I had to overlook the Ann-without-an-e slam (something those of us Anns who happen to spell our names the efficient way have had to contend with all our lives).

Here's the author's advice on "Anne" as a name choice:

"Anne: Take another peek at this sleek, ageless stalwart. Say it out loud, and it really has the softest, prettiest sound. But you must use an e at the end, especially if you loved the irrepressible, carrot-topped orphan Anne of Green Gables. Many young mothers have bestowed this clean-cut classic as a middle name to honor Anne with an e, but it also makes an elegant first name."

If Ann(e) isn't quite your style, how about India?

"India: I highly doubt that anyone would want to name their baby girl after uptight India Wilkes from Gone with the Wind, but that's not to say that you wan't use the lilting, sumpuous name anyway. Beautiful, silky-smooth Indiia is richly exotic without being alien. Perhaps these attributes prompted glamorous and offbeat [offbeat?] singer-songwriter Sarah McLachlan to choose Indida for her daughter. Like Jemima and Araminta, India has long been favored by the British upper crust. Indie is a little hipster of a nickname, too."

I've always found it easier to pick out names for girls. (Ditto for baby clothing, too.) Obviously, this author found it a struggle, too. She's suggested Ajax, for example, as a possibility, while admitting that people may think of the cleanser while bending over to sneak a peek at your little one:

"Ajax. Like Orion, Ajax is a way-out-there possibility that folks will get used to fast. Oh, eyebrows will raise, no doubt about it, but essentially they are already familiar with Ajax because they've been attacking soap scum with it for years. Interestingly, the cleaner's original slogan was 'Stronger than dirt,' a reference to the mythical character Ajax the Great....This is a tough, slick-sounding name with a flashy nickname, Jax."

Not so keen on Ajax? You can also try on Huckleberry or Iago, if you'd like.

If your taste in baby names is similar to mine (a little more mainstream) you'll still find plenty of baby name inspiration. How about Julia, Alice, or Madeline? Dylan, Jordan, or Sebastian? Those names are as suitable for a literary hero or heroine as the newest member of your family, don't you think?

Citizen Kid

Election signs are popping up on lawns throughout the GTA.

It won't be long before campaign flyers and autumn leaves start fighting it out for real estate in our mailboxes and on our front porches.

You know what this means, don't you?

It's time to have that parent-child heart-to-heart talk about politics you've been putting off since the last election.

You know, the one where you explain how democracy works, why voting matters, why so many trees have to sacrifice their lives so that political signs can be made, and how it is that it's not okay for them to bully other kids at school -- but it's okay for politicians to bully one another in ads on TV.

(Personally, I think you would be well within your rights as Jane or Joe Taxpayer to pick up the phone and dial the national campaign office of whichever party is running the offending campaign ad and ask their campaign team to come up with some sort of explanation for your kid.)

Environmental concerns and attack ads aside, I think we parents should take advantage of the next few weeks to get our kids excited about the political process. The alternative -- having more and more young people become apathetic about voting, isn't a viable option for this country. According to Statistics Canada, only about 38 per cent of voters aged 18-21 came out to vote in the 2004 federal election. [Note: The Elections Canada website only has 2000 youth statistics: I'm still trying to track down 2006 youth statistics.]

Clearly we moms and dads have to step up to the plate. So here's your mission as the parent of Citizen Kid, a future Citizen Voter. The objective of this mission? To give your child a chance to learn about politics and our political system without turning your child off both for life.

Here's what I suggest.

Encourage your child to tune into aspects of the election coverage that naturally mesh with his or her areas of interest. If your child's a budding political junkie, your child may want to follow all the coverage of all the candidates on all the issues – or he or she may just want to track the candidates' views on a particular issue (the environment, for example).

Be respectful of your child's thoughts and opinions about "her candidate," even if her views are totally different from your own. (You may find it easier to back off if you remind yourself that she doesn't get a real vote in the election -- unless, of course, she's 18.)

Make sure your child understands that being an informed citizen means taking the time to find out what each candidate/party has to offer (as opposed to saying, "I always buy Brand X.") You're not shopping  for toothpaste when you step inside that voting booth. You're choosing a government to run a country.

Recognize that political enthusiasm is contagious -- and capitalize on that fact. Encourage your child's school to get involved with StudentVote.ca – a non-profit, non-partisan organization that works with educators to establish habits of democratic citizenship within young Canadians.

Don't be too earnest about the whole thing. Have fun. Share these strange-but-true facts about Canadian politics from the Elections Canada website with your kids or encourage your teens to scout for election trivia by checking out The Star's Party Favours column.

Take your kids to the polls when you vote. I still get a thrill from casting my vote nearly two decades after I first started voting -- and I remember how much I looked forward to being eligible to vote in my first election. If you take your kids with you to vote, you'll be showing that you take the responsibility of voting seriously and you'll be giving them the chance to pick up on the excitement of being part of democracy in action. Our system may not be perfect, but it's what we've got and it sure beats what a lot of other countries have.

Besides, the only way to change it is by exercising the right to mark that X on a ballet. As Federal Green Party leader Elizabeth May put it this past weekend:

"They've always said...the pen is mightier than [the] sword, but the pencil is mightier still when you pick it up in your ballot box [and] you mark your X....'"

Grand Theft Stroller

If someone snatched your child's stroller off your front porch, you would probably

• ask yourself what kind of sicko would steal a stroller from a baby;
• bemoan the cost of replacing your baby's set of wheels; and
• shake your head at your incredibly bad luck.

I mean, seriously: what are the odds of becoming a victim of stroller theft?

Surprisingly high, as it turns out. Stroller theft is on the rise, not just in Toronto but across North America:

Stolen Phil and Teds Stroller

Stroller Stolen

Valco Baby stroller stolen from Bear Creek park (Surrey)

And it's not just brand new strollers that are at risk of going AWOL. Jon, a parent living in Toronto's West Annex, was frustrated to discover his family's three-year-old jogger stroller missing from the family's front porch last week.

"Like most of the people we know, we didn't have it locked up -- merely placed on the safe (we thought) and well lit porch. At some point over night someone was bold enough to sneak up and lower it quietly down the steps and make off with it."

It's not difficult to figure out why strollers have become the new darlings of the snatch-and-grab criminal. There's a new stroller customer born every minute; and budget-stretched parents are always on the lookout for a reasonably-priced second-hand stroller. There's also a well-established tradition of buying-and-selling second-hand goods stranger-to-stranger within the parenting community, something that makes it almost impossibly easy for a would-be thief to connect with potential buyers.

"If a thief steals a bike I've heard of a myriad of ways they can sell the bike...[via] shady bike stores, on-line ads (Craigslist) and even just offering strangers on the street the chance to buy it cheap," Jon explains.

But wait. It gets even better -- or more bizarre. There may even be stroller chop shops. A recent article in a Brooklyn newspaper noted that the wheels on certain high-end strollers are much sought after by motorized mini-bike enthusiasts.

Hot commodity or not, strollers will continue to be a necessity for families – which means parents are going to have to come up with strategies for sidestepping stroller theft – both online and off. (Yes, the stroller world has its own online scam -- the fake Bugaboo Stroller auction at eBay.)

"As the price of these things goes up (Bugaboos being well over $1000) I suppose they make more attractive targets for thieves and we're at a stage where they have to be locked or stored indoors. But what does a parent in a small apartment do?" asks Jon.

Or a parent who has to contend with multiple small children, a stroller, and a flight of slippery, wet stairs, in order to drag the family stroller to safety?

I think it makes more sense to tackle this issue at the deterence level. In his letter to me, Jon proposed a stroller registry system similar to the bike registry system which has helped to reduce the number of bicycle thefts.

I'll let Jon explain:

"Police have a registry for stolen bikes but even that depends upon owners filing their serial numbers and the faint hope that the Police find or recover the bike from the thieves or their customers.

"But what about strollers? No such registry exists and, to my knowledge, no serial number system is employed by manufacturers to aid in tracking strollers when lost or stolen."

I'd love to see Jon run with his stroller-registry idea. How about you?

New Homework Policy = Time Windfall for Families

The verdict is in: Homework is uncool at Toronto schools – or at least at Toronto District School Board schools. And that means a major time windfall for families.

Just in case you haven't had a chance to take in all the details about the Board's new policy, here's a quick crash course in homework-ology, circa 2008. The rules

•    establish an age at which homework can first be assigned (after kindergarten)
•    spell out the expectation that homework should feel more like play than work while kids are young ("homework assigned in the early grades shall more often take the form of reading, playing a variety of games, having discussions and interactive activities such as building and cooking with the family")
•    make it clear that there's no such thing as a one-size-fits-all homework assignment ("homework should be... differentiated to reflect the unique needs of the child")
•    limit the amount of homework that can be assigned to students at a particular grade level (one hour or less in Grades 7 to 8; two hours or less for high school students), and attempt to safeguard family time by declaring holidays off limits for homework assignments ("No homework shall be assigned on scheduled holidays as outlined in the school year calendar or on days of significance.")

It's about time that homework got this kind of radical makeover, don't you think?

Researchers have been telling us for years that homework isn't worth the kid-effort invested. And when you consider what else kids could be doing with homework time (riding a bike, doing crafts, reading a book, making friends, playing soccer, hanging out with their grandparents, etc.), it's hard to make the case for homework.

Homework can also be stressful. Very stressful. Students and parents have been waving the homework white flag for a number of years, noting that excessive amounts of homework interferes with extra-curricular activities (which also happen to be a fun and educational part of growing up), ramp up the pace of family life, and take away opportunities for spontaneous family fun).

Back in the spring, Education Minister Kathleen Wynne urged school boards across the province to rethink their homework policies in light of a study conducted by the University of Toronto's Ontario Institute for Studies in Education (OISE) which revealed that Ontario students were spending more time on homework than students in other provinces; that homework was being assigned as early as kindergarten; and that this increased emphasis on homework wasn't delivering any measurable benefits to students in terms of learning or grades. Some schools, like Barrie's Prince of Wales Public School, have come out with their own homework policies while they wait for board-wide policies to follow.

If you happen to be a family in a school that's gone homework-free this year, your entire family has been given the gift of an extra 40 minutes a day (the time that your child would otherwise have spent on homework, according to the OISE study). Maybe you can let us know how you plan to use your new-found time windfall....