From a Few Ripples to a Mother Tsunami: Beware the Power of a Breastfeeding Mother Scorned

This is what moms are talking about on and offline this morning: a story about a York Region pool owner who refused to allow a mother to breastfeed her baby on the steps leading in to the pool and who attempted to re-direct that mom to the change area or the spectator area instead.

The fact that the pool owner hired security guards to protect her facility against the mothers and babies who came out to protest her decision a few days later -- security guards in shields, no less, is even more disturbing.

The moms of Toronto -- and Ontario -- and Canada -- and beyond -- are not impressed.

Word travels quickly in mom circles, particularly when a sensitive issue like breastfeeding issue like breastfeeding is involved. And with the power of the Internet to help spread the word instantaneously, one mom's bad experience can be shared with all of her friends the moment she arrives home (or the moment she retrieves her Blackberry out of her baby's change bag in the change room). The result is every business' worst nightmare: a few ripples of mom dissent that unexpectedly erupt into a mother tsunami of outrage. 

What's making moms particularly angry this time around is that this battle has been waged and won many times over. To have to fight it again in 2008 is ridiculous and insulting. No mom deserves to be treated with such disrespect when she's meeting her baby's basic biological need for food. And any business owner in the business of serving young families had better catch on to the fact that being baby-friendly is job one. If you don't have that in place, you don't have a business. Case dismissed.

Comments

[Dobber]

1) She explained that she didn't know the guards would arrive with "shields". You worded your blog with such venom it would lead an ignorant reader to draw the same conclusion as you did.

2) I'm all for breastfeeding anytime and anywhere. But should you stop a mother from going to the dump and rubbing her breast in trashy slime before sticking it in her baby's mouth? Should you stop her from walking to the curb and rubbing her breast in some sewage that is draining before sticking it in her baby's mouth? It's a filthy pool! Somebody has to protect the baby here. If the mother left the pool, washed her breast and then returned and stepped back into the pool to feed her baby (without her breast touching the water again) - I'm sure she would have been allowed to do that.

Perspective please.

[Rebecca]

You know what? You're right - The moms of Toronto -- and Ontario -- and Canada -- and beyond -- are not impressed. But what we're not impressed with is this Cinira's insistence on doing something that everybody knows is idiotic, and then making a big political mess out of it. Actually I don't think that's Cinira's doing - I think that the lunatic fringe has taken over and run with this in order to push their agenda. ME ME ME, selfishly ignoring everybody else's rights and wishes in order to do what they want to do.

I'm 100% behind the pool owner, and so is everybody else I've spoken to, including all the mothers who are nursing now and who nursed their babies when they were smaller. So are all the people writing in to the Star. Nursing is feeding. You don't feed your baby in the pool, with a breast or with a bottle or with a ham sandwich. You get OUT of the pool to do that. Just like you don't pee in the pool because it's more convenient than getting out, and you don't drip menstrual blood in the pool, and you don't have sex in the pool. All natural activities, and all inappropriate for a pool where strangers are sharing your space and deserve some consideration.

Breastfeeding is good, but there are times and places when it's not appropriate, and in the pool is one of them. And now her political grandstanding has caused problems for the rest of us who just want to swim undisturbed.

[Concerned]

I am concerned with the excessive grandstanding done by some moms to make their point. How is this front page Toronto Star news when we have high school stabbings, global recession and wars going on? My wife breastfed both our children (first one for 13 months and second one for only 2 months as she got very ill) and it is the preferred method of feeding for many reasons. That being said, some moms are made to feel inadequate when they are unable to breastfeed despite using the resources of gurus like Jack Newman. This mother in question should be thrilled she is able to breastfeed her child/toddler and stop searching for her 15 minutes of fame. Not sure why some need to always try and push the envelope.

[Ann Douglas]

Thanks for your comments, Rebecca and Dobber.

Just a couple of comments in response.

If I were hiring private security guards, I think I'd be asking a few questions about their attire and their equipment -- especially if they were going to be hanging out in a place with young families. Anything other than basic street wear could be very intimidating to families with young children.

I've never seen any medical study indicating that pool water poses a health risk -- assuming, of course, that the pool is properly maintained. If it posed that kind of risk, it would be inadvisable for pregnant women or babies to go swimming in the pool and we don't see those kinds of warnings being issued by all leading health authorities. The only kind of health warning along these lines warns about the dangers posed by hot tubs (bacteria, heat) to pregnant women and young children.

The breastfeeding woman was sitting on the steps of the pool, which meant her baby was above water. That's no different from feeding your baby at the edge of the swimming pool or at poolside, as many breastfeeding mothers have done since the invention of the swimming pool.

I have yet to hear of any mothers dipping their breasts in garbage or sewage. When that becomes something to worry about, I promise to address it in my blog.

As for your comparison of breastfeeding a baby to peeing in the pool or having sex in the pool or dripping menstrual blood in the pool -- your comments show me just how far the public health education movement still has to go in helping people to understand that breastfeeding mothers have to be able to feel okay about feeding their babies any time, any where. I would (and have) breastfed my babies in church, in restaurants, on park benches, in a car in a busy parking lot, etc., but I certainly wouldn't pee in these places, have sex in these places, or drop menstrual blood in these places (unless, of course, I was wearing a tampon or pad: I hate getting my car cleaned).

I can't see how a mother breastfeeding her baby has to be such a problem for other pool patrons. Why not just enjoy your own swim?

[Concerned]

Ann, I don't totally disagree with your comments to Rebecca and Dobber. My bigger concern is how this has become front page news? I have witnessed many similar situations as breastfeeding moms have created massive scenes. Have we not come a long way? Malls, for example, now have fantastic places for moms to feed (in open and closed areas.) I just don't see the need to make this into a HRC issue, do you? If this is the worst thing that happens to this woman in her life then she is very lucky! Perhaps she is/was embarrassed by the situation and this is her way of coping? I am always surprised by the small portion of the population of the great GTA that need to always ruin it for others.

[Chris Turner]

Ms Douglas:

As a journalist and award winning author you should do a little research before posting such ignorance in your blog.

The facts are:

1) The women in question was NOT denied her right to breast-feed her child in public, she was told you cannot do it in the pool and was asked to move to the change room or the public viewing gallery. This woman, in total disregard for the LAWS in Ontario, refused to move out of the pool to breast-feed and has now turned it into a circus of protest.

2) The Ontario Health Protection & Promotion Act for public pools (even though the pool is privately owned it is still considered a public pool under the Act) O.Reg 565-90 section 10.(5) clearly states that the pool owner and operator shall not allow any food or beverage (except water) in the pool or on the pool deck.

http://www.e-laws.gov.on.ca/html/regs/english/elaws_regs_900565_e.htm

This whole issue is one of public health not human rights. Does this woman’s right to feed her child trump the rights of all citizens (including the child in this case) to health and safety?

Your write that the battle for public breast-feeding has been waged and won many times and to have to fight it all over again in 2008 is ridiculous. Well we have waged a battle for public health protection just as long and to have to fight this battle over again is obscene. This is an issue about a woman who was too lazy to pick up her child and move to a spot in the facility in which she could have breast-feed and done it legally.

You find it more disturbing that the pool owner (a pregnant woman by the way) hired security guards to protect her private property from the protesters? How about the fact that people, ignorant of the law, pushed the owner into a position where she felt she had to protect her livelihood from people who wanted her to violate the Public Health Regulations thereby placing her in jeopardy of having the facility closed by order of the local Public Health inspector?

[Ann Douglas]

Thanks for your comment, Concerned. I have a feeling this mom was as surprised as you were to see this story make the front page of the newspaper. (Remember, the person being interviewed has no control over the placement of the story: that's the news editor's call.)

As for why the news editor made this call, you, as the readers of this paper, have every right to question that call. A newspaper like THE TORONTO STAR loves nothing more than to have intelligent readers who question its editorial choices. That's one of the reasons it was the first to employ a newspaper ombudsman, back in 1972 -- someone whose job it is to go to bat for the readers if the newspaper editors have really blown it in their coverage of a particular story. You can find out more about the role played by The Star's ombudsman (now known as the public editor) by reading Kathy English's column:
http://www.thestar.com/comment/columnists/94572

If I had to explain why this story ended up on the front page (which is always a bit of a dangerous game, when you weren't privvy to the actual discussions), I'd say it is because the editors at THE STAR
1. were aware this story had taken on a life of its own in the online world of mothers;
2. felt this story was indicative of a trend (mothers being asked not to breastfeeding at public swimming pools) -- and news people always love a trend;
3. felt this story deserved to be written about because many people assumed that this issue had been settled long ago. The fact that it has not been settled goes against the prevailing wisdom, therefore making it newsworthy.

Again, that's just me trying to get inside the heads of THE STAR news editors. They may have entirely different reasons.

[Always an opinion]

Thanks for YOUR comments Ann. I wondered when someone would show real commonsense. For some reason (I imagine because of overwhelming response) the Star article is closed to comments now. I've been hopping mad and desperate to make a contribution...glad I stumbled across your blog! I couldn't agree more with your comments on the supposed "health" issue of breastfeeding after having been in a pool. Further to that many comments in the Star have been "what if she slipped?" and on and on ad nauseam on various safety concerns. All I can say is that I think there is much more of a safety concern when WALKING on wet floors/tiles rather than SITTING on steps by the pool. I'm thoroughly disappointed by most of the comments made on the article. Thoroughly. For a country that professes to be open-minded, liberal and forward-thinking I'm shocked by the reactions. To be called selfish, attention-seeking and grandstanding for feeding her baby and claiming her right to do so -- it's just mind boggling. This isn't just about someone having a right and being determined to exercise it, it's about being made to feel embarrassed or humiliated for doing the right thing. Mothers know how judgemental fellow citizens can be and it's embarrassing hence the various public health education campaigns...it isn't the mothers that need educating it's the judgemental, self-righteous public at large that needs to learn to live and let live.

[Ann Douglas]

Thank you for your comment, Chris Turner.

To address your points in sequence.

1.
- I believe the first paragraph of my post contains some of the facts you were concerned I had missed.
- The law you are referring to refers to eating and drinking in the pool area. As the original STAR article notes, breastmilk does not appear to apply in this case. (See mention of case in Edmonton.)

2.
- See (1). It appears that you are trying to make the case that a woman breastfeeding her baby poses a dire threat to human health. I'm not quite following your logic here.

3.
- There's nothing wrong with getting a group of people together to speak out against a perceived injustice. That's what democracy is all about. We wouldn't have our medicare system (imperfect as it may be) if some people hadn't cared enough to get together and speak out against a system that wasn't working for the ordinary Canadian family.

4.
I haven't seen any evidence that the public health department was about to shut down the pool because of the dire health to public health posed by a breastfeeding mother. Could you please direct me to your source?

Thank you.

[Ann Douglas]

Always an opinion -- if this wasn't a bit on the lengthy side, I'd suggest you get this made into a t-shirt. (What about a t-shirt dress?) You said this brilliantly.

"For a country that professes to be open-minded, liberal and forward-thinking I'm shocked by the reactions. To be called selfish, attention-seeking and grandstanding for feeding her baby and claiming her right to do so -- it's just mind boggling. This isn't just about someone having a right and being determined to exercise it, it's about being made to feel embarrassed or humiliated for doing the right thing. Mothers know how judgemental fellow citizens can be and it's embarrassing hence the various public health education campaigns...it isn't the mothers that need educating it's the judgemental, self-righteous public at large that needs to learn to live and let live."

Thank you for sharing your very wise words.

And, on that note, I'm going to close comments on this thread, as they've done with the discussion over at the main article.

Thank you to all who contributed.

(If any last-minute comments have arrived over the transom in the meantime, I'll post them and respond to them as well. Fair's fair.)