The Challenges of a Mega-City Pregnancy: Mega and Minor -- A List in Progress

Clearly, it's no cakewalk being pregnant in New York City. According to writer Emily Nussbaum:

"No one offers you a seat on the subway. Everything smells terrible. It’s normal to walk twenty blocks through rain and heat and snow, just like a postman, except nonunion and with the mail sack tied to your abdomen. There’s remarkable pressure to look stylish and put together even when your ankles have swollen up to the size of Murray’s bagels."

Nussbaum's musings got me thinking about how being pregnant in New York compares to being pregnant in the GTA.

Here's what I've got on my list of challenges (both mega and minor) so far.

The scarcity of public washrooms. Face it, the GTA is Scroogeville when it comes to the availability of public washrooms. In fact, I have long suspected that washroom scarcity is an undiagnosed cause of pregnancy rage. Ever try to schedule your life and plan your errands around the availability of public washrooms?  Try doing that for nine-and-a-half months at a stretch and see how your mood is affected.

Lack of recognition for multi-season heroics. Depending on the date of conception and the date of delivery, a GTA mom-to-be can count on schlepping through slush/snow, splashing through puddles, and sweating through heat waves. And yet she doesn't get hailed as a hero in the same way as the folks who carry our mail do. What's with that?

Traffic: construction and weather-related. There is no such thing as a quick zip across town anywhere or anytime in the GTA. Whether your midwife is traveling to your home or you're heading to the hospital to give birth, the traffic facts of life will have to be factored into your birth plans. You can mull this over while you're commuting with a too-full pregnant bladder.

The shortage of midwives, obstetricians, and misc. healthcare resources. The supply of pregnant women hoping to have their babies delivered by midwives vastly exceeds the supply of midwives. Yep. You don't even have to be born yet to end up on your first health-care waiting list.

Now it's your turn. If you're pregnant, you've no doubt spent time in the middle of the night pondering the highs and lows of being pregnant in the GTA. And if you know a pregnant woman, you've no doubt been on the receiving end of some rants on this subject. Do tell....

Comments

[Lisa M.]

When I was pregnant I discovered the gorgeous, calm oasis that is the Pottery Barn washroom. Indigo ranks high, too. But finding a public, non-retail bathroom quickly? Good luck!

[julia]

u think the subway is bad? try taking the GO!! people dont often give seats there either. There was a train delay....I had a "Motherhood" bag in my hand and a large belly.....no one offered. I ended up sitting on the stairs to prevent myself from passing out.

When your on the GO, there is very little circualtion as the doors open every 20 min's etc. Commuters are too involved in their reading materials or sleeping or simply ignoring me so they dont offer thier seat.

[Ann Douglas]

Lisa M - Your comment reminded me that some websites now track which places are breastfeeding-friendly (http://wwww.weewelcome.ca comes to mind). I can't remember -- and a quick search of weewelcome.ca didn't tell me -- if you could do a search for the closest washroom if you found yourself with a pregnant bladder or toddler potty emergency. Anyone know of good sites for this? (I think I'll put out a twitter call for this, too.)

Julia - How frustrating and rude! You must have felt like telling them where to GO! Until people have been pregnant (or been close to someone who is pregnant) they have no idea what it's like to stand for 45 minutes on a GO train.

[Rocksan]

No kidding about people on the bus! I'm not really showing much yet, but I had bad breathlessness & felt exhausted just a few weeks ago, and people would give me dirty looks for sitting in the front seats of busses & streetcars -- you know, the ones with the sticker announcing that they are for pregnant moms & old folks.

Julia -- you should ask people to give you their seat. My girlfriend did this when she was pregnant, and 100% of the time people would do it. It's like people just need to be called on their bad manners sometimes.

[chibi]

Ok, I'm not pregnant and have never been pregnant but have to weigh in on this...

I have, in the past 3 or 4 months, offered my seat on the bus/streetcar/subway to a pregnant woman only to recieve a scathing and loud lecture. I was being offensive, unfeminist, how-dare-I-assume-she-can't-stand-she's-perfectly-capable-pregnancy-isn't-a-disability, etc.

I have, as a result, stopped offering my seat to the pregnant unless they ask. It's self-preservation!