Witnessing a Mother's Fear

There were a few frantic moments at a family get-together I attended last summer.

A 15-year-old relative, who is autistic and unable to speak, disappeared from one minute to the next.

His mother – my cousin – was frantic. All the party guests were enlisted to find out whether the 15-year-old was still in the house or whether he'd wandered up the street toward the school or behind the house and into the marsh that backs onto Lake Ontario.

Fortunately, the 15-year-old was located in a matter of minutes. He was in the basement, searching for a set of DVDs he'd spotted on a previous visit.

My cousin was so relieved that she started to cry.

Today, as the story of another family and their son makes news across the country, I'm reminded what it was like to witness my cousin's fear – the fear that she lives with from day-to-day.

It's easy to overlook the role that luck plays when kids manage to stay safe for another day.

If it were all about good parenting, keeping kids safe would be so much easier.

Related:

Facing Autism in New Brunswick: James Delorey, 7 Year Old Autistic Boy, Has Passed Away

Comments

[K]

I am the cousin Ann refers to in this blog. I cannot express the absolute fear I had when we thought he was lost and relief when he was found. When I had calmed down, I was impressed at how quickly my extended family had responded to my cry for help. I am sure the Delorey family is just as appreciative at how the community responded to their lost son. My heartfelt sorrow is extended to the family as they cope with the worst of outcomes. Hug your children today and be thankful for every moment you have with them.

[Rebecca]

Young children and special needs kids can just disappear *so fast*. Stories like these make my heart ache because it could be any of us.
Thanks.

[Ann Douglas]

Thanks so much for your comments, K and Rebecca.

I totally agree with what what you wrote, Rebecca: "Stories like this make my heart ache because it could be any of us." (My youngest son has Aspergers and I've had some too-close-calls with one of my other kids.)

K: I'm so lucky to have you as a cousin. You've been a friend for a million years and mentor these past few years as I learned to walk the path of special-needs parenting.