No Need to Get Hot and Bothered About the New Sex Ed Curriculum – Part I of II

I don't know about you, but I don't like other people speaking for me when it comes to issues involving my kids. So when I heard that some parents were up in arms about the proposed changes to the sex ed curriculum for Ontario schools, I decided that I needed to research those changes for myself.

Getting my hands on the documents wasn't easy. The moment Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty pulled his initial support for the changes and announced that the curriculum changes were being put on hold, pending further review and consultations with parents, the documents were removed from the Ministry of Education website.

It took a bit of detective work, but I managed to track down a copy of the documents via the I Support Sexual Health Education in Ontario Facebook Group. I then proceeded to pour through the document, page by page,  zeroing in on the most relevant sections (download copy of chart).

This progressive, health-oriented curriculum – which covers so much more than sex education, incidentally – has the potential to change (and even save) kids' lives. If we can convince the government to go ahead with the curriculum as is (as opposed to bowing to pressure to water down the content), our kids will learn some very important lessons, starting at a very early age.

They will learn that every person is worthy of respect. This principle is all-inclusive and it permeates the entire curriculum. It applies to what they learn about body image, about physical fitness, about sexual health, and about healthy relationships. Here's a snippet that sets the tone for the rest of the document:

In an environment based on the principles of inclusive education, all students, parents, and other members of the school community – regardless of ancestry, culture, ethnicity, sex, physical or intellectual ability, race, religion, gender identity, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, or other similar factors – are welcomed, included, treated fairly, and respected. Diversity is valued, and all members of the school community feel safe, comfortable, and accepted. Every student is supported and inspired to succeed in a culture of high expectations for learning. In an inclusive education system, all students see themselves reflected in the curriculum, their physical surroundings, and the broader environment, so that they can feel engaged in and empowered by their learning experiences. (57)

They will learn that they don't have to tolerate bullying or abuse; and what healthy relationships are all about. They will learn that they don't have to tolerate being bullied because of body size or physical abilities or race or sexual orientation (or because they belong to a family that doesn't conform to the 1950s definition of what a Canadian family should look like: an image that continues to be over-reflected in our media); that they have the right to say no to being touched in any way that makes them feel uncomfortable (and what words to use to describe their body parts so that they can make it clear to adults and peers what body parts are off limits); and that healthy relationships at school, at home, and in the community are every child's right.

"Healthy relationships are based on respect, caring, empathy, trust, and dignity, and thrive in an environment in which diversity is honoured and accepted. Healthy relationships do not tolerate abusive, controlling, violent, harassing, or inappropriate behaviours." (55)

They will be given the information they need to make informed choices about their sexual health. In order to make the decision not to be sexually active until they are ready, kids have to have accurate information about what sex means—what it is.  This generation of kids may sound like they're in the know (based on the snippets of information that they've culled from the Internet or from a supposedly savvy peer), but that doesn't necessarily mean much. A 2006-2007 study conducted by researchers from Planned Parenthood, York University, the University of Toronto, Wilfrid Laurier University, and Toronto Public Health found that Ontario kids are far less informed about sex than we think they are. "Very surprising to us was that many kids were unsure about whether they had had sex or not," one of the study's authors, Sarah Flicker, a professor of environmental studies at York University, told CBC News at the time "And even among those who were unsure, some reported that they had engaged in oral sex, anal sex or vaginal sex."

That study recommended sweeping changes to the way sex education is taught in schools, including kicking off the conversation as early as kindergarten. That's what this curriculum is attempting to do (although starting at the Grade One level): to give our kids the information and self-advocacy skills they need to be informed, stay healthy, and develop loving relationships.

This sounds to me like the recipe for a healthier, happier generation of kids and a much less messed-up world.

I hope that vote-seeking politicians and special interest groups don't mess this up for our kids any more than they already have.

There's far too much at stake for the people in charge to lose sight of what really matters here: the health and well-being of the up-and-coming generation of kids.

Related:

Facebook: I Support Sexual Health Education in Ontario: A Facebook group for supporters of the new sexual health curriculum in Ontario.

NOTE: Stay tuned for Part II. I'll be interviewing Heather Corinna, founder of Scarleteen: Sex Education for the Real World, one of the most popular sex information web sites for teens, about why sex education matters.

Comments

[M. Ashman]

Very good!
However, why do the ideas that "every person is worthy of respect" and that "[kids] don't have to tolerate bullying or abuse; and what healthy relationships are about" have to be bundled with sex education! While they are not mutually exclusive, the afore-mentioned ideals can be taught, SHOLUD be taught, should have already been in the ... See Moreschools, from Kindergarten!
There is no way that it should be an all or nothing situation! Get those necessary messages in without bundling it with sex ed and re-evalute the sex ed portion to ensure that it is suitable!

[Shawn]

Ann, most of it, if not all is already covered in old curriculum. This update to existing sex curriculum had been prepared by then Education Minister Kathleen Wynne, who is an open lesbian and live with her same-sex partner. Naturally, the plan has gay and lesbian agenda all over it:

Grade 3 will tell children that they cannot be certain whether they are boys or girls. One may be a boy on the outside but a girl on the inside, or vice versa.

Grade 6 will explain details about oral and anal sex, with appropriate illustrations.

In Grade 8 students will be told that marriage between men and women with same-sex attractions is just as good as marriage between normal husbands and wives.

[Lana Miller]

That the most active resistance to the program comes from the Christian right should not distract thoughtful secularists from the fact that the program is objectionable on purely rational grounds that have nothing to do with homophobia.
You don't have to be religious to recognize the incompatibility of early instruction around sexuality with, dare we say it, the "settled" science around the "latency period" of childhood. In this schema, the second sexual phase in children following infancy and early childhood, from the age of six to 12, is a period in which direct sexual energies fall dormant. During this phase, the child gathers his inner resources and develops mental and physical strength for entry to young adulthood. Only at adolescence do hormonal changes create the appropriate psychological context for absorbing ideas about "gender identity" and sexual ethics in a meaningful light. Until that time schools should butt out of sex education.
Latency-period researchers explain that it is precisely because children are not dominated by sexualized thinking between early childhood and adolescence that they are optimally attuned to, and most highly educable in, the areas crucial to cultural self-realization: reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic.
Bending children's imagination in a sexualized direction they would not naturally take distracts them from the work they should be devoting themselves to, and raises fears in social conservatives, possibly well-founded--for these are very uncharted waters, whatever liberal theorists may say -- that the curricula will promote early, indiscriminate and amoral sexual experimentation.
Proponents of the program reject such concerns. Alex Mc-Kay of the Sex Information and Education Council of Canada claims that "young people who are very well educated about sexuality and sexual health tend to delay having sex, because they fully understand everything that's involved ...."

That's not true, according to a recent study published in the Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine of the American Medical Association. The study found that abstinence programs that teach human sexuality as predominantly psychological, emotional and moral rather than physical dropped sexual-activity rates among teens by a third in contrast with data-heavy "safe sex" programs.

If there were longitudinal, peer-reviewed studies attesting to the benefits of exposing children in the latency period to sexuality-charged curricula, we might be open to more experimentation along the lines proposed by Ontario's Ministry of Education.

There being none, we see the program as a political vehicle for special interest groups obsessed with "social justice," who perceive entrenchment of their libertine agenda in public school curricula as the quickest and most efficient route to detaching children from morality-based sexual values.

Read more: http://www.nationalpost.com/opinion/story.html?id=2936443&p=2#ixzz0m4MsY3SV

[Shevralay]

Looks like an excellent proposed curriculum. I wish we'd gotten anything as comprehensive as it in the US--especially the emphasis on what is and is not a healthy relationship. (Though, even if it doesn't get passed, resources like Scarleteen are a godsend.

[coffeewithjulie]

Thanks for a post on this topic Ann. I look forward to doing a good thorough read myself. Especially since my daughter is entering into grade 3, and I keep hearing about grade 3 in the media!

[Lori K]

As a woman who hit her "adolescence" at age 8 I would have appreciated much of the information included in the grade 6 and 8 levels.

I firmly believe that the reason why I was sexually precocious is I had a fully functioning sex drive at 10 but people wanted to treat me like I was my chronological age.

My parents did the best they could with the tools they had in 1984 but not having access to really timely information about sexuality when I needed it really changed the course of my life. Probably to its detriment.

Wouldn't it be better to offer this information on a developmental basis rather than on a Grade level basis?

[Ann Douglas]

Thanks for all your comments - and, please, keep them coming.

I think education works best when it realistic (when it reflects the realities of students' lives) and when it is inclusive (when it includes all students and community members).

I would rather over-prepare my kids for what they could face in the real world than under-prepare them; and leave them vulnerable to a predatory adult or peer; or embarrassed, unsure, or afraid when their body goes through puberty or they start to experience sexual feelings for the very first time.

I also want them to be able to make sense of the confusing, inaccurate, and sometimes hate-filled messages that they will hear about sex, sexuality, and gender identity. I want them to understand that using homophobic slurs or derogatory terms for genitalia to insult someone is wrong (and why). That requires having a frank conversation about sex - and dealing with our own fears and prejudices. Are we brave enough to do that?

[leslie]

You're so right in your previous blog: Parents Can Change the World

1. Parents have a vested interested in working for change.
2. Parents get the job done.
3. Parents are their children's strongest advocates.
4. Parents have staying power.
5. Parents have thick skins and that they aren't easily put off by the hairy-eyeball stare.
6. Parents are incredibly connected.

Parents did, in fact, caused this sex updated to be canceled. I know many outraged parents who contacted MPPs demanding this dream of all pedophiles and perverts to be canceled.

[nicole]

I thought I would tell you a story that I know of personally, how the lack of sexual education can affect a young adult.

I worked with a young 19 year old woman at a retail store in Conestoga mall a few years ago.
Her religious family had excluded her from any sexual education throughout her schooling.

While working with her, and getting to know her, eventually girl talk arose, as naturally happens between female staff when the store was slow.
Her confessions of her personal life, and lack of general knowledge that I assumed EVERY woman knew- was disturbing.

She admitted that she could not use a tampon, as she had once inserted one wrong (in her rectum) as she did not know where her vagina was.
I do not tell you this to shock or give anyone a laugh. It may seem funny or ridiculous, but I can't tell you how sad and worried I felt for this young woman.
She described the experience as being painful and confusing.

She was also starting to date (an older friend of her fathers no less) and seemed to be starting to be coerced into sexual involvement.

She would ask us older girls questions about sex and how things worked (as she did not even know how actual intercourse took place), knew nothing about contraception, diseases or the emotional consequences that could occur.

We did our best to give her advice and I took it upon myself to borrow a sex-ed book for teenagers from the library, which she gratefully took and read.

I always remember with sadness, how I felt her parents and the educational system was failing her, leaving this kind young woman ignorant, confused and vulnerable to the harsh realities of the world. And how something so amazing: one's body and sexuality, could have easily been damaged.

[Christine Nectarine]

Thanks for this post Ann. Through this whole debacle, I've been disappointed that "parents" have been represented as opposing this curriculum consistently.

I'm a fan of the changes for many of the reasons you have mentioned, and have already written my letter to Mr. McGuinty to let him know that I wish he'd bring it back.

[preteenmom]

I agree with the person who suggested that this education is extremely valuable, but should be on a developmental basis - not a grade basis. Unfortunately, our schools are setup on a grade basis, not a developmental basis, so teaching it in schools is a one-size-fits-all approach.

I have a son in grade 6 who academically is very bright, but socially is a least 2 years behind his peers. He just does not have the maturity some of the other 11 year-olds. I would love to get my hands on the material and be able to teach it to him when he's ready - as a parent, I know my child best.

On the other hand - I know there will be other kids that if they don't hear it at school, they won't hear it at all. So incorporating it into the curriculum is the best choice for them.

I honestly don't know how I feel about this issue. I'm doing my best to support my son no matter what happens with the legislation.