Back to School Parenting News: Bullying, Breakfast, Grades, and Sensitive Kids

It won't be long until the kids head back to school (although it pains me to think of that because I'm still very much in mid-summer mode myself). But with September just a few weeks away, I thought you might enjoy this roundup of back-to-school parenting news. (If you're not ready to face back-to-school quite yet, bookmark this item and come back to it in another week or two. I will totally understand.)

Bully to You....

Most bullies are motivated by the pursuit of status and the desire to be liked by others. That's the key finding to emerge from a study of nearly 500 9-to-12 year olds conducted by researchers at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands. The researchers found that bullies attempt to gain status by dominating their victims; but, because they want to be liked by other children, they choose to pick on children who are weak and who don't have a lot of friends. Gender also factors into bullying activity. When boys bully boys, it doesn’t matter whether girls approve or disapprove, the researchers discovered. The same holds true for girls. What's more, boys will bully only those girls who aren’t well liked by other boys, regardless of what girls think about it, and girls will do the same in their bullying of boys. “To understand the complex nature of acceptance and rejection, it’s necessary to distinguish the gender of the bully, the gender of the target, and the gender of the classmates who accept and reject bullies and victims,” notes René Veenstra, professor of sociology at the University of Groningen, who led the study.

Managing the School Day Munchies

Breakfast really does matter. In a recent study published online in the International Journal of Obesity researchers examined the impact of a protein-rich breakfast on adolescents who traditionally skipped breakfast. When the study participants ate a protein-rich breakfast the researchers observed that the teens were less hungry and ate approximately 130 fewer calories at lunch. The takeaway message? A protein-rich breakfast improves appetite control.

Meeting the Mark

How quickly they expect to receive their grades may influence how students perform. Psychological scientists Keri L. Kettle and Gerald Häubl of the University of Alberta discovered that students who were told they would receive feedback quickly on their performance on an oral presentation earned higher grades than students who expected feedback at a later time. What's more, when students expected to receive their grades quickly, they predicted that their performance would be worse than students who were to receive feedback later. "People do best precisely when their predictions about their own performance are least optimistic," the authors explained in the journal Psychological Science ("Motivation by Anticipation: Expecting Rapid Feedback Enhances Performance").

Why Sensitive Children Are Like Orchids

"Sensitive children, like orchids, are more challenging to raise and care for,
but they can bloom into individuals of exceptional ability and strength
when reared in a supportive, nurturing, and encouraging environment."
- Jelena Obradović, an assistant professor
in the School of Education at Stanford University

The Pill, The Big Sell, The Unexplainable: Worth Quoting

THE PILL

 "It was the feminist movement that opened [the] doors [to new career opportunities for women]. The Pill allowed women to walk through."
    - Elaine Tyler May, discussing her book America and the Pill: A History of Promise, Peril and Liberation at the University of Minnesota website. (Read excerpt from her book at PBS.org.)

THE BIG SELL

"Commercialism is a factor in many of the public health and social problems facing children today. Childhood obesity, discontent about body image, eating disorders, sexualization, youth violence, family stress, underage drinking, and underage tobacco use are all linked to advertising and marketing. So is the erosion of creative play - the foundation of learning, creativity, and the capacity to make meaning of life. The underlying message of commercial marketing - i.e. the things we buy will make us happy - is a major factor in the acquisition of materialistic values, which has been linked to depression and low self-esteem in children."
    - Susan Linn, EdD, "The Commercialization of Childhood and Children's Well-Being: What is the Role of Health Care Providers?" Paediatrics and Child Health, April 2010.

THE UNEXPLAINABLE

...."I went to your mother’s room to try to explain the unexplainable. I saw your mother on her bed, still groggy from the medications, and my professional demeanour disappeared. A tiny baby blanket was spread on the little bed where you should have been ... At that moment, I was no longer a doctor. I was a mother facing another mother in distress. We didn’t know if you would pull through, and I couldn’t make any promises. We would have to see how the next few hours would unfold. I felt helpless and sad."
    - Christine Motheron, MD, "A Letter for You," Canadian Family Physician, January 2010.

When It Comes to Weaning, Slow is the Way to Go: VIDEO

Weaning Woes

I was asked to offer some advice to a mom who was interested in weaning her one-year-old daughter from breast to sippy cup. In this situation (mother-led weaning as opposed to baby-led weaning), the mother ends up playing a more active role in weaning than with baby-led weaning (when the mother follows the baby's lead and eliminates feedings when the baby is ready). Not all of my advice made it into the video. You can find some additional tips here.

Extra Votes for Parents, Healthy Body Image, and Fish Art

Newswire

Extra Votes for Parents?

"If [governments] are not ready to stand up proudly and give voice to the rights of children, then they should put into place reforms that magnify the voices that already exist. The most important would be reforming an electoral system that disenfranchises all those younger than 18 by allowing their parents to cast additional votes for each of their children. Maybe only then when they have to actually look their electorate in the eyes will there be sufficient resolve to make child rights the priority that a commitment [the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child] made 20 years ago stated it should be."
- Miles Corak, former research coordinator and lead researcher of the 2005 UNICEF Report Child Poverty in Rich Countries, writing in yesterday's Toronto Star

A Powerful New Anti-Bullying Tool:
Positive Body Image

Reflections of Me: Body Image and Self-Esteem (a preventative educational program designed for use from kindergarten through Grade 8) is one of the tools Ontario teachers are using to combat bullying in the classroom. It is designed to teach children to accept differences in others and to resist harassment and bullying based on body image.

The curriculum – which was developed by the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario (EFTO) – recently won the Canadian Medical Association's Award for Excellence in Health Promotion. It consists of a video, curriculum materials designed for each grade level, and a brochure for parents.

According to the EFTO, parents play a key role in determining how children feel about their bodies and in promoting healthy body image in general. Parents can remind kids that genetics have a lot to do with a person's weight, size, and body type; reinforce the idea that all bodies are acceptable; challenge put-downs related to physical appearance and be a positive role model with regard to body image; encourage kids to tune into their own internal hunger and fullness cues; promote exercise and healthy eating as ways to nurture your body; and celebrate the uniqueness of all people.

Related:

Body Talk: The Straight Facts About Fitness, Nutrition, and Feeling Great About Yourself by Ann Douglas and Julie Douglas

One Fish, Two Fish, Rainbow Fish, Whitefish....

The Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources' Kids' Fish Art Contest is back for its 7th year. Kids in grades 4 through 12 have until December 18th to submit a drawings of one of this year's official fish -- the rainbow fish or the whitefish -- in its natural habitat, along with an essay about habitat protection (see official contest rules for details). The winning design will be used on the 2010 Young Angler's License.

Corner Store Snacks, What We Expect from Teens, Folic Acid and ADHD, Plus More on H1N1

Parenting Lab

The Convenience Store: Maybe a Little Too Convenient?
Purchases made at corner stores contribute a significant number of calories to the diets of children growing up in urban areas, according to researchers at Temple University's Center for Obesity Research and Education in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The researchers discovered that children purchase an average of two food and/or beverage items during each trip to the corner store; and that caloric intake of these items averages 356 calories. The results of this study appear in the November 5, 2009, issue of the medical journal Pediatrics.

Low Expectations May Fuel Teen Misbehavior
If you expect your teen to get into trouble, your teen may very well live up to those expectations. That's the key finding to emerge from a University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill study of 250 preteens and their mothers. The researchers, who published their results in the Journal of Research on Adolescence, found that teens are more likely to live up to the expectations that are set for them, whether those expectations are positive or negative.

Low Folate Levels in Pregnancy Tied to ADHD in Offspring 
Here's yet another reason to up your intake of folic acid prior to and during pregnancy: low folate levels during pregnancy are associated with an increased likelihood of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in offspring aged 7 to 9. This new finding, reported in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, supports previous research suggesting that folic acid plays a key role in the development of the nervous system.

Newswire

Concern Over H1N1 Jumps Significantly: Harris/Decima Poll
According to a poll conducted by Harris/Decima between October 29 and November 1, the majority of Canadians are now concerned about H1N1 -- a significant shift since early October. Nationally, 55% of Canadians are now very (20%) or somewhat (35%) concerned about the H1N1 flu virus, up from 36% who were concerned at the start of October. Concern is highest in Ontario and Atlantic Canada and lowest in Quebec and Manitoba and Saskatchewan.

Back-to-School Parenting: A Roundup of Back-to-School Parenting Resources

‘Tis the season when everyone has back-to-school on the brain, so I figured this was a good time for a paernting resources swap. I've pulled out some of my favorite resources related to kids and back-to-school. If you have other helpful back-to-school parenting resources to share, please post the details in the comments section below. Or blog about them in your blog and post the link below.

How to....

...Be Brave When Your Child Starts Kindergarten

The first day of kindergarten can be pretty tough, whether you’re a parent or a kid. Some parents find it's tougher on them than it is on their kids. The secrets to getting through the early days and weeks as the parent of a kindergartener? Hang tough on that heart-wrenching first day; and remind yourself that you will still have an important role to play in your child's education for many years to come.

...Prevent or Deal with Cyberbullying

A study conducted by Faye Mishna of the University of Toronto’s Faculty of Social Work revealed that 50% of kids in Grades 6 through 12 had been bullied over the Internet. Online bullying has become such a problem for students that the Canadian Federation of Teachers would like to see cyberbullying treated as a crime under the criminal code. Here’s what you do to reduce the odds that your kids will be bullied online and to take steps to stop the bullying if the bullying has already started.

...Give College-Bound Kids Some Helpful Advice About Cooking

Two of my kids headed back to college during the past four days. And they each took that next giant step on the path to total independence: they’ll be cooking for themselves this year, as opposed to relying on a residence meal plan or living with mom and dad.

While I know they’re each quite capable of whipping up the basics, I wanted to inspire them to try new things in the kitchen -- and not to live on heat-and-serve entrees from the frozen food aisle. (Not only is that more expensive than cooking from scratch. It gets pretty boring pretty fast.) So I went looking for an online cooking guide that included healthy, delicious, and easy recipes, as well as some basic tips on food preparation (stocking the kitchen, avoiding food poisoning, etc.)

I was thrilled to come across Good Eats: Quick and Easy Food for Busy College Students, a fabulous cooking guide for time-pressed newbie cooks on a budget by co-authors Suzanne Sonneborn, R.D., L.D, and Cynthia W. Harriman. If there’s a college-bound cook in your family, you’ll want to pass along the link.

...Connect with Other Parents of Boomerang Kids

Sometimes the only thing that helps when you're dealing with a challenging parenting situation is connecting with another parent who truly understands.

Last year, while researching a magazine story about boomerang parenting (parents coping with so-called boomerang kids), Rona Maynard put out a call to parents who might be willing to share their experiences. The stories continued to roll in long past her deadline and an ad hoc support group began to emerge. Some of the more active participants in the discussion are moving the support group to a more permanent home and they want other parents who are dealing with the challenges of sharing their homes with grownup kids (and sometimes grandkids, too) to know that such a group now exists. You can find it at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BoomerangSupport/.

Best Summer Ever: Day 57

August 26
Leftover Buffet

Have leftover buffet night. (The buffet consists of all the edible leftovers in the refrigerator.)

It’s a great way to put together a meal with zero-stress (and at zero added cost), clean out the refrigerator, and let your kids put together a meal made up of their favorite bits and pieces.

It’s a win-win situation all around.

Related:

Recycle for London: Chefs' Recipes for Leftovers

Best Summer Ever: Day 49

August 18
Make Some Back-to-School Resolutions

 The first day of school feels a lot like New Year's if you're a parent of school-aged kids. So why not take a moment to make a few school-year's resolutions? Here's one for today:

Resolve to break free of the convenience food rut.

Treat meal preparation like a team sport. Get the rest of the family in on everything from meal planning to grocery shopping to meal preparation (.pdf).

Ask friends and family members to pass along recipes that have proven to be favorites with their families.

Do some of the meal preparation on the weekend when you’re likely to have a bit more time. Having pre-chopped veggies or pre-cooked lean ground beef can be huge time-savers on a busy weekday.

Team up with other families who are looking for ways to cook smarter. Start your own cooking club (where members get together to do batch cooking together) or organize a weekly meal swap or with a friend or neighbour.

Related:

City of Toronto: Nutrition Matters: Shopping

Mealtime Solutions for Your Baby, Toddler, or Preschooler by Ann Douglas. See Chapter 6 for more tips on how families are pooling resources to take the stress out of meal preparation.

Best Summer Ever: Day 46

August 15
Have Fun in the Sun

Celebrate the arrival of the real summer weather -- you know, that warm, sunny weather we've been waiting for all season long.

- Play tourist in a different part of the GTA (or your own neighborhood, if you're still exploring its many attractions).
- Have a picnic at an unusual time of day. (A breakfast picnic, anyone?)

Invite your kids' friends - and your friends - to tag along. Summer is the perfect season for entertaining -
and the great outdoors is the perfect venue
for playing host (as long as there are decent washrooms
within sprinting distance of your picnic site).

One last thing: Don't forget to play it sun smart while you're soaking up the rays this weekend. While you might be tempted to make up for all those weeks of rain by going a little sun-crazy this weekend, the regular rules of engagement with the sun still apply.

About this image: A detail from a Victorian-era postcard (date-stamped 1912).

Best Summer Ever: Day 43

August 12
Start Laying the Groundwork for a Fabulous Fall

 The decisions you make during the weeks ahead will affect your stress level this fall.

Take time to think through what you're committing to as a parent before you sign on too many dotted lines.

For example, when you’re signing your kids up for extra-curricular activities, consider the time slot carefully. If the practice times are going to disrupt family mealtimes on a regular basis, you may want to see if there's another organization in the community offering the same activity at a less disruptive time. Sometimes you have a choice; other times you don't. But you'll never know unless you do some asking around.

Photo Credit: Ann Douglas, 2009.