The War on Moms: An Interview with Sharon Lerner -- Part II of II

Sharon Lerner is an American journalist who specializes in writing about women and politics. The War on Moms: On Life in a Family-Unfriendly Nation (Wiley, 2002) -- a meticulously researched book that should be considered required reading for every mother or mother-to-be on either side of the border -- is her first book. I had the opportunity to interview Lerner via Skype earlier today. What follows is the second part of our interview.

Sharon Lerner's book is filled with stories about the fallout of what she calls "life in a family-unfriendly nation." During our interview, I asked her which of those stories would be most likely to stay with her over the long run. She told me about her visit to a childcare center in Florida.

I asked Lerner whether moms need to become more political in order to make change and, if so, what that might mean, given our crazy/busy lives. (I told her that I had multi-year-long blank spots in my political memory, corresponding with the years when my children were very young.) She pointed out all the various ways in which people can be political.

While Lerner devotes a large chunk of her book to documenting the need for more family-friendly policies, she continues to believe that change is possible. "Sometimes people think my outlook is bleak," Lerner says. "But it's not. I think there are great possibilities for improvement." That's one of the reasons she wrote her book, after all: to hint at the possible in an effort to inspire mothers and lawmakers to action.

In the Epilogue of her book, she stresses that "this rare political moment" provides reason for optimism:

"While families across the country carry on with their own shifts and struggles, the most important change that's taken place nationwide is a political one. With a swing-set behind it and dozens of parents of young children working within, the White House is now more receptive to family issues than it's been in years."

At the same time, Lerner is all-too-aware that, in the wake of the global economic crash, families could be asked to put their needs on hold once again:

"Even as the floundering economy has made some of the problems facing families worse, some lawmakers have worried about spending our much-depleted public funds to "bail out" American families. As we wait to see whether this potential turning point will be squandered like previous ones, the gap between us and the rest of the developed world should remind us that, even if it's hard to scrape up the money to move forward, we can't afford not to do it."

* * *

It would be easy for those of us in Canada to act a little smug: to assume that, because we have universal health care coverage and that $100-a-month payment that has been sold to us as a "universal childcare plan," that Canadian families will never experience the same dire poverty as American families who lose their jobs or experience a health crisis.

To some extent, that may be true (we may not bottom out to the same degree or quite as often); but what about the Canadian families who end up selling their homes - or couch-surfing - because a particular drug or therapy that their child needs isn't covered (or isn't fully covered) by the provincial health plan? And what about those families who can't afford to work, because their childcare costs are so high; but who can't afford not to work, because their rent and living expenses necessitate that they hold down a job or two? 

The War on Moms isn't just a US phenomenon. It's happening here, too. It's simply much more under the radar right now. Consider this your wake-up call - unless, of course, you're already wide-awake and on mother-alert, like many moms and dads have been for quite some time. In that case, we're happy to have you join us. It's going to take some time to turn this situation around and create a Canada that works for all families.

Related Reading:

Elizabeth May. Losing Confidence: Power, Politics, and the Crisis in Canadian Democracy: See this  book review penned by Tom Graff of the Vancouver Observer for an overview of what the book is all about.

Marci McDonald: The Armageddon Factor: An expanded and up-to-date version of this October 2006 article that McDonald wrote for The Walrus. If you're wondering what this has to do with your life as a mother, read Antonia Zerbisias' no-holds-barred analysis from earlier this month.

The War on Moms: An Interview with Sharon Lerner -- Part I of II

Sharon Lerner has some reassuring words for you, if you're struggling to pay your bills, find time for your family, and do a good job at work, too: this problem is so much bigger than you.

 "Perhaps you yourself work so hard, you don't have enough time for your family, let alone for yourself," she writes in the introduction of her brand new book, The War on Moms: On Life in a Family-Unfriendly Nation (Wiley, 2002). "On the other hand, you might have ample time with your children but feel edged out of professional life, unable to earn any money -- or enough of it to avoid sinking into a financial hole. Or maybe you work hard and still find yourself barely getting by. Any of these scenarios is common. What's far less likely is that you have both financial stability and all of the time you need to care for your family. That's because such balance has become a rare privilege in this country. And while it's easy to feel personally responsible for failing to achieve the elusive mix of work and family within your own life, the problem is far bigger than you....

"To say there is a sinister plot against American women is both overblown and exactly right. Technically speaking, there is no War on Moms, of course. There is no concerted effort to kill or main women who have children. But if some sinister think tank had spent the last thirty years cooking up the ideal way to make American women miserable, it likely couldn't have served up more unpleasantness than women now encounter on a daily basis."

Lerner is an American journalist who specializes in writing about women and politics. The War on Moms: On Life in a Family-Unfriendly Nation (Wiley, 2002) -- a meticulously researched book that should be considered required reading for every mother or mother-to-be on either side of the border -- is her first book. I had the opportunity to interview Lerner via Skype earlier today. What follows is the first part of our interview.

Research Roundup: Baby Stress Eraser, Too-High Toddler Expectations, and Relationships Problems After Miscarriage or Stillbirth

A roundup of recent research on the parenting front. And, included for the first time ever - a short video commentary from me, focusing on one of those studies. (Hey, everyone else is doing it. I figured I might as well give it a whirl.)

Baby Stress Eraser: Sensitive Parenting Can Eliminate the Effects of Prenatal Stress Exposure

A study conducted at the University of Rochester and published in the journal Biological Psychiatry in February suggests that sensitive parenting during the baby and toddler years can eliminate the detrimental effects of stress exposure during pregnancy.

Children who are exposed to high levels of the stress hormone cortisol prior to birth are more likely to experience attention difficulties and cognitive problems later in life. However, the effects of prenatal stress exposure can be eliminated if a secure parent-child attachment is formed during infancy and maintained into the toddler years.

Too-High Toddler Expectations: Emotional Control Occurs Much Later Than Many Parents Believe

Twenty percent of parents expect kids to be able to control their emotions by the time they turn two; and forty-three percent expect the same of their kids by age three, according to a study of 1,615 U.S. parents conducted on behalf of Zero to Three: The National Center for Infants, Toddlers, and Families, in Washington, DC. In fact, it actually takes most children until they are three to five years of age to exercise that amount of self-control.

Having age-appropriate expectations of your kids makes parenting a whole lot easier. Instead of trying to fix a non-existent problem – your two-year-old isn't behaving like a five-year-old, you can focus on enjoying her at her current age and abilities. You also avoid stressing her out by expecting her to exhibit a degree of self-control she simply isn't capable of right now. 

Couples Face Increased Risk of Relationship Breakup Following Miscarriage or Stillbirth

Pregnancy loss increases the risk of relationship breakup; and the risk is greater for unmarried couples than for married couples, according to research conducted at the University of Michigan and published in the April 5th issue of the journal Pediatrics.

The study, which followed couples over a 15-year period following a pregnancy loss, is the first to examine the effects of miscarriage and stillbirth on the couple relationship.

The researchers found that couples who experienced a miscarriage had a 22 percent higher risk of experiencing a breakup as compared to couples who had not been through such a loss; while couples who had experienced a stillbirth had a 40 percent increased risk of experienced a breakup. With a miscarriage, the period of increased risk for a break up lasted for three years following the loss. With a stillbirth, the period of increased risk for a break up lasted for nine years following the loss.

Do you have comments to make about any of these studies? Do any of them reflect what you've experienced or observed in your own life? If so, I'd love to hear your story. Please leave me a comment below.
- Thanks, Ann

Friends for Sale: Need 100,000 More Friends? That Will Cost You $3479

Parents continue to be the darlings of the social media world, not because everyone necessarily hangs on our every kid-related word, but because we represent a powerful demographic. We're big spenders, at least when it comes to our kids.

Where there is money, there are advertisers. And where there are advertisers, there is competition for those advertising dollars. It's a simple fact of marketing life. Right now, competition is heating up in the world of social media, as everyone tries to figure out how to make money on the hottest virtual playground for Canadian parents: Twitter.

The problem is that the rules of the social media marketing game are still be written, with less savvy players trying to apply the rules of old school marketing -- rules that simply don't fit.

That's what's happening on Twitter these days -- a social media platform that's much loved by Canadian parents and those who wish to connect with them.

Here's an example of that then vs. now push-and-pull playing out in real time.

* * *

On Monday, May 3, Megan McChesney, Editor and Senior Web Producer of CanadianFamily.ca, sent out the following tweet on @CanadianFamily -- the Twitter account associated with St. Joseph Media's Canadian Family magazine:

 

The feedback from the account's followers (people who receive messages from the @CanadianFamily account) was immediate and straight to the point:

What the followers were confirming for McChesney was this: money can't buy you love on Twitter.

Old school, meet social media

While you might not consider buying friends in the real world, individuals or organizations attempting to woo potential advertisers with impressive audience numbers might be tempted to go to extreme measures to boost their Twitter follower numbers: even paying cash-for-followers services to buy online friends. Anyone choosing to go this route can easily find businesses willing to swap followers for dollars. (uSocial.net will sell you 100,000 followers for $3479 US or you can purchase smaller batches of followers via eBay.)

At this point most advertisers don't place sufficient value on audience engagement or the content provided in gauging the success of a social media campaign, says McChesney. "The current game is all about the numbers."

It's a case of old school marketing meets social media marketing, says Dave Fleet, Account Director and head of the social media practice at Thornley Fallis Communications in Toronto. "Companies are used to being able to buy attention....Social media doesn't work that way. It requires a long-term investment," 

Artificially padding follower numbers by buying Twitter followers "defeats the entire purpose" of social media, says McChesney. "You're diluting your own community and cheapening the experience for your followers."

CP24 web/technology specialist Amber MacArthur agrees wholeheartedly with McChesney's assessment. "Don't buy followers," she advises companies who are being lured by the call of the social media siren. "It will come back to bite you on the butt.

"Would you pay someone to follow you around at a party?"

Slow and steady, like the turtle

So if you can't go for the quick fix, what should you do?

Take the same approach as you take to building real-world relationships, MacArthur advises: "Build relationships that are portable and real."

That includes not becoming overly dependent on one social media platform, she stresses. Twitter may be hot right now, but it may not be around forever.

As for having an infinite number of virtual one-second-stands with strangers whom you think of as nothing more than numbers?

That's sleazy online or off.

Conduct yourself accordingly, people and corporations.

 

Friend or Faux Follower? You Be the Judge....

Wondering if someone has been buying followers as opposed to building their following organically over time? Here are a few clues that may help you to decide, according to social media experts Dave Fleet (Account Director and head of the social media practice at Thornley Fallis Communications in Toronto), Amber MacArthur (CP24's Web/Technology Specialist and a new media host/producer, strategist, and speaker), and Megan McChesney (Editor and Senior Web Producer of CanadianFamily.ca).

• * If the account has a high number of followers and a low number of tweets, the account is likely to have purchased followers (unless the account holder is a celebrity or an elite brand), says Fleet.
• * If the tweets are of very poor quality, but the account is being followed by a large number of people, you're probably looking at an account with a lot of faux followers, says McChesney.
• * If the accounts following a particular person all appear to be quite spammy (no real names; no photos; other clues that the account isn't legitimate), they may be following an account that's paid cash for followers, says McChesney. Some companies specialize in "farming" Twitter accounts of dubious quality.
• * You do some research on the account using a service like Klout, which measures authenticity and influence, and the account's rock-bottom score indicates to you that the account holder either isn't engaging with his or her followers at all or that most of those 100,000 followers are faux followers says MacArthur.

Motherhood Research and Parenting Studies

My in-box is overflowing with research requests related to birth, parenting, and motherhood. If you want to contribute to what is known about any of these subject areas (either by being interviewed by a journalist, offering to be a research participant in a study, submitting an article to a journal, or speaking at a conference), there are certainly opportunities galore. Here's a roundup of the latest requests.

BIRTH EXPERIENCES

The Toronto Star would like to interview new moms about their birth experiences. Did your labour and delivery go as planned? How did you feel about your experience? Contact reporter Francine Kopun at fkopun@thestar.ca by May 10. With your permission, your story may become part of a Living feature in the Star.

CARING FOR A PERSON WITH AN AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER (ASD)

The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health is conducting a survey of family needs associated with caring for a person with an autism spectrum disorder (ASD). If you are a family member of an adult or youth with ASD, your participation would be appreciated. The purpose of the survey is to find out about how you and your family handle stresses, how you feel, and what kind of services you use. The survey is confidential. In order to understand families' experiences, family members are asked to complete an online questionnaire. Participation takes approximately 30 minutes. Please call 416-535-8501, ext 7813, or email yona_lunsky@camh.net for more information. To participate, go to www.familyprojects.ca (The Family Study).

BULLYING AND AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDERS

The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health is conducting an online survey to learn about the experiences of bullying in children and youth with Autism or Asperger Syndrome. They are interested in interviewing parents of children with Autism or Asperger Syndrome. The focus of this project is to better understand the experience of bullying among students with Asperger syndrome and Autism across Canada. The research is being conducted primarily by a doctoral student, Catherine Cappadocia, and researcher, Dr. Jonathan Weiss, from York University. The online survey takes approximately 30 minutes to complete. Any questions or concerns about this project can be directed to Catherine Cappadocia, M.A., Project Coordinator by phone at (647) 283-2585 or by email at catcap@yorku.ca. To participate, go to www.familyprojects.ca (The Family Study).

MOTHERHOOD RESEARCH

The Association for Research on Mothering has been reborn as The Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement (MIRCI). It is continuing its proud tradition of research into motherhood with an impressive publishing and conference schedule for 2010. If you write or speak about motherhood, you'll want to check out these recent calls for submissions (see partial list below); and to plan to attend MIRCI's upcoming Gala Literary Night Fundraiser on May 21, 2010, from 7 pm to 10:30 pm at Ryerson Oakham House.

° Motherhood and the Economy: The Economics of Mothering (Conference: October 21 to 24, Toronto, Canada): Deadline for Abstract and Bio: August 1, 2010.

° Mothering, Bereavement, Loss, and Grief (journal): Deadline for Submissions: June 1, 2010.

° Mothering: Anthropological Perspectives (anthology): Deadline for Submissions: July 1, 2010.

° Black Motherhoods (anthology): Deadline for Submissions: September 1, 2010.

Dear Lemon Lima: The Short Film - A Review

If your experience of being 12 or 13 was anything like mine, you don't need a film like Dear Lemon Lima to help you to understand what adolescence can be like for a kid who is socially awkward, a loner, and/or a bit of a geek. That time in your own life now represents your own personal benchmark for hell.

If, however, you have nothing but fond memories of the years when you reigned as Queen of the Sleepover Circuit or King of the Street Hockey League – and you can't understand why your 12-year-old is more the reclusive caterpillar than the social butterfly – you may want to watch the short film Dear Lemon Lima with your preteen or teen.

Dear Lemon Lima | Artvoice TV

Available for download on iTunes for $1.99, Dear Lemon Lima is a short film (11:54) about bouncing back after first heartbreak with Mr. Oh-So-Wrong (a 12-year-old who acts like a graduate of a soul-extracting franchise management program) and finding true friendship (with other kids who are marching to the sound of their own drummer).

The movie is funny and charming; and it provides a natural launching pad for conversations about what it's like to be a creative or sensitive person in a sometimes unthinking or unfeeling world: how it takes courage to walk that path, but how much easier that journey becomes once you find a community of like-minded souls to share the journey with.

The world can be a terribly lonely place when you're a square-peg 12 year old stuck in a classroom of round-peg kids: you need to know that there are triangular- and rectangular- and octagonal- and, yes, even square-peg kids waiting to meet you in the land of high school and beyond. You're only 12 for 365 days, after all, even if it feels like it lasts forever.

Note: Don't confuse the short film Dear Lemon Lima (11:54, released 2010, which filmmaker Suzi Yoonessi made as her thesis film while completing Columbia University's Graduate Film program) with the feature film Dear Lemon Lima (87 minutes, 2009, also directed by Yoonessi, but with a different tone and flavor).

The Sex Ed Files - Part III of III in a Series About Sex Education

Want to do more homework about sex ed? Here are some additional resources you may want to check out as you research the sex education issue.

What Kids Have to Say About Sex Ed

Poll question: Do you feel like you were given the sex education you needed?

66% of 848 site visitors responded negatively. The responses were as follows:

• 45% (381 votes) "I'm still waiting to get the education I need and/or I had to just find it myself
• 21% (178 votes) "Too late; I felt I needed it before I received it."
• 23% (197 votes) "At exactly the right time: I think I got it just at the age I needed it."
• 11% (92 votes) "I felt too young for the education I was given."

Source: Scarleteen.com  Poll results as of 8:52 pm Sunday April 25, 2010.

The Big Talk

"Parents are often reluctant to talk to their children about sex. When they do, the information they provide is often more about physiological changes than about the emotional terrain that accompanies sexuality or about managing one's own sexuality appropriately and healthfully."
- Youth, Pornography and the Internet by Dick Thornburgh and Herbert S. Lin, editors. Quote is taken from Chapter 5: Children, Media, and Exposure to Sexually Explicit Material.

The Abstinence Debate

2007 Study on Abstinence-Only-Until-Marriage Education Programs

A nine-year congressionally mandated evaluation of U.S. federally-funded abstinence-only-until-marriage education programs has found that they have no beneficial impact on young people’s sexual behavior. "Program recipients were no more likely than non-recipients to delay sexual initiation, and when they did become sexually active, program recipients had the same number of sexual partners and were no more likely to use condoms or other forms of contraception.... Comprehensive sex education has been shown in numerous studies by well-respected researchers both to delay sex and to increase contraceptive use."

2010 Study on Abstinence-Focused Education Programs
A smaller study conducted by Professor John B. Jemmott III of University of Pennsylvania and published in the Archives of Pediatric & Adolescent Medicine looked at abstinence-focused programs for sixth and seventh graders at four public middle schools serving low-income African-American communities. The study found that one-third of the sixth and seventh graders who finished the abstinence-focused program started having sex within the next two years, as compared to almost half of the students who had other sex education classes (information about both abstinence and contraception), who became sexually active within two years.

Planned Parenthood of Houston and Southeast Texas issued the following statement in response to the release of the University of Pennsylvania study:

"This new study highlights a program that is very different from the failed 'abstinence-only' programs that teach misleading information, including assertions that condoms don’t work. Unlike traditional “abstinence-only” programs, the program in this study emphasizes abstinence, but does not disparage condoms, does not use a moralistic tone, and does not contain inaccurate information. In fact, this program would not have been eligible for Bush-era “abstinence-only” funding because it was not designed to meet the federal criteria for “abstinence-only” programs. This program would likely be eligible for the new sex ed/teen pregnancy prevention programs under the Obama administration, since it is medically accurate. This study adds new information to the library of existing research on the types of sex education programs that are effective and those that are ineffective. Planned Parenthood has always advocated for teaching sex education that emphasizes abstinence as the best way to avoid unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, but that also provides young people with medically accurate, age-appropriate information about healthy communication, responsible decision making, contraception and disease prevention."

Planned Parenthood of New Jersey: Abstinence-Only Sex Education
A history of abstinence-only sex education in the U.S., as provided by Planned Parenthood of New Jersey.

Sex Education: News and Trends

Vancouver Sun: Ontario's sex-ed controversy nothing new: Experts

"Studies in different parts of the country have consistently found that more than 85 per cent of parents support sex-ed programs and that a majority of parents approve of topics that range from puberty and reproduction, to birth control and sexual orientation."

Harassment by Q & A: Initial Thoughts on Formspring.me by Danah Boyd
Emerging issues related to sexual bullying and gender identity, as detailed in a brand new essay by social anthropologist Danah Boyd. "Formspring was not designed as a place for harassment, but some teens have clearly leveraged it to do precisely that, while others are using it to continue the long history of quizzes and surveys.  Why the different practices?  I'm not at all surprised that semi-anonymity results in people asking crass questions, but why are teens responding publicly for all of their peers to see?  What is it about today's cultural dynamics that encourages teens to not only act tough when they're attacked but to actively share the attacks of others as a marker of toughness pride?"

Proposed Changes to the Ontario Sex Education Curriculum

Three page summary (.pdf) of the proposed changes to the curriculum. For a more detailed analysis, see Part I in this series. You'll also want to read ParentCentral.ca editor Brandie Weikle's editorial on this subject.

Facebook Group: I Support Sexual Health Education Changes in Ontario:
A discussion group for those who support changes to the Ontario sexual education curriculum.

Petition in Support of Changes to the Sex Education Curriculum: The petition text reads as follows: "We, the undersigned, call on Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty and the Ontario government to go forth with intended changes to Ontario's sexual education curriculum beginning September 2010."

The Sex Information and Education Council of Canada
The Sex Information and Education Council of Canada (SIECCAN) is a national registered charitable organization founded in 1964 to foster professional education and public knowledge about sexuality and sexual health. SEICCAN publishes Sexual Health Education in the Schools: Questions and Answers. You can download a copy (in .pdf format) from the organization's website.

Shaping a Culture of Respect in Our Schools: Promoting Safe and Healthy Relationships: Safe Schools Action Team Report on Gender-Based Violence, Homophobia, Sexual Harassment, and Inappropriate Sexual Behavior in Schools (.pdf)
A report, submitted to the Ontario government in December 2008, which makes specific recommendations about preventing and addressing gender-based violence, homophobia, sexual harassment, and inappropriate sexual behaviour by students towards other students and removing barriers to reporting such incidents in order to help students succeed and re-engage in school.

Note: (Parts I and II in this series also contain links to some other resources that you may find useful.)

Why Sex Education Matters: Interview with the Founder of Scarleteen - Part II in a Series

Think this generation of kids knows everything it needs to know about sex – and then some?

Think again, We may be raising our kids in a culture that's obsessed with sex, but we aren't doing a very good job of teaching them about sex. In fact, according to Heather Corinna, founder of Scarleteen, a website that has been answering teens' questions about sex for the past dozen years, we haven't even managed to equip them with the basic vocabulary.

"We have teens apologizing for not having using the right language, not having the right information about how their bodies work. In what other area of knowledge do we make people feel bad about themselves for not knowing? At Scarleteen, we tell the teens, 'It's everybody else's fault but yours that you don't know.' "

Ignorance is not bliss

An advocate for "inclusive, healthy, and sex-positive sex education," Corinna feels we should be providing teens with the information they need to stay safe and make informed choices. For that to happen, the conversation needs to start while your child is still quite young.

"You don't want your child to end up in sexual situations too early. Ignorance enables that to happen. Silence gives them the message, 'I'm not supposed to talk about it.' It prevents them from talking about it. And it leaves them vulnerable to predatory adults. If you don't know the name for a particular body part, it's pretty hard to tell someone you've been touched there."

I'm okay, you're okay – and so is your family

Talking about gender identity helps children to understand that it's possible for a boy to love another boy – just as it's possible for a girl to love another girl. The world isn't just made up of boy and girl couples.This conversation doesn't just become relevant when kids start dating. It is relevant the moment a young child begins to notice that not all families are the same.

"It's about talking about these kids' families, making these kids visible, Corinna explains. "And sending some implicit messages about who these kids might end up loving."

The consequences of such conversations could be far-reaching.

"It might be possible to decrease how much people are going to get bullied. It might reduce the number of queer kids in junior high who commit suicide."

And about that sex thing....

Talking about sex is not the same thing as promoting sex.

The proposed curriculum encourages abstinence for as long as possible. So does Scarleteen.

But neither resorts to fear- or guilt-mongering in order to achieve that goal. And for good reason, says Corinna.

"Ideally, we want kids to get the idea that sex, at the right time, with the right person, is a good thing. We want them to be empowered and happy, to view sex as pleasurable; not to feel bad, to stumble into horrible relationships, to take unhealthy risks."

That's what I want for my kids. How about you?

Coming in Part III: The Sex Ed Files: A roundup of resources related to the sex ed debate.

No Need to Get Hot and Bothered About the New Sex Ed Curriculum – Part I of II

I don't know about you, but I don't like other people speaking for me when it comes to issues involving my kids. So when I heard that some parents were up in arms about the proposed changes to the sex ed curriculum for Ontario schools, I decided that I needed to research those changes for myself.

Getting my hands on the documents wasn't easy. The moment Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty pulled his initial support for the changes and announced that the curriculum changes were being put on hold, pending further review and consultations with parents, the documents were removed from the Ministry of Education website.

It took a bit of detective work, but I managed to track down a copy of the documents via the I Support Sexual Health Education in Ontario Facebook Group. I then proceeded to pour through the document, page by page,  zeroing in on the most relevant sections (download copy of chart).

This progressive, health-oriented curriculum – which covers so much more than sex education, incidentally – has the potential to change (and even save) kids' lives. If we can convince the government to go ahead with the curriculum as is (as opposed to bowing to pressure to water down the content), our kids will learn some very important lessons, starting at a very early age.

They will learn that every person is worthy of respect. This principle is all-inclusive and it permeates the entire curriculum. It applies to what they learn about body image, about physical fitness, about sexual health, and about healthy relationships. Here's a snippet that sets the tone for the rest of the document:

In an environment based on the principles of inclusive education, all students, parents, and other members of the school community – regardless of ancestry, culture, ethnicity, sex, physical or intellectual ability, race, religion, gender identity, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, or other similar factors – are welcomed, included, treated fairly, and respected. Diversity is valued, and all members of the school community feel safe, comfortable, and accepted. Every student is supported and inspired to succeed in a culture of high expectations for learning. In an inclusive education system, all students see themselves reflected in the curriculum, their physical surroundings, and the broader environment, so that they can feel engaged in and empowered by their learning experiences. (57)

They will learn that they don't have to tolerate bullying or abuse; and what healthy relationships are all about. They will learn that they don't have to tolerate being bullied because of body size or physical abilities or race or sexual orientation (or because they belong to a family that doesn't conform to the 1950s definition of what a Canadian family should look like: an image that continues to be over-reflected in our media); that they have the right to say no to being touched in any way that makes them feel uncomfortable (and what words to use to describe their body parts so that they can make it clear to adults and peers what body parts are off limits); and that healthy relationships at school, at home, and in the community are every child's right.

"Healthy relationships are based on respect, caring, empathy, trust, and dignity, and thrive in an environment in which diversity is honoured and accepted. Healthy relationships do not tolerate abusive, controlling, violent, harassing, or inappropriate behaviours." (55)

They will be given the information they need to make informed choices about their sexual health. In order to make the decision not to be sexually active until they are ready, kids have to have accurate information about what sex means—what it is.  This generation of kids may sound like they're in the know (based on the snippets of information that they've culled from the Internet or from a supposedly savvy peer), but that doesn't necessarily mean much. A 2006-2007 study conducted by researchers from Planned Parenthood, York University, the University of Toronto, Wilfrid Laurier University, and Toronto Public Health found that Ontario kids are far less informed about sex than we think they are. "Very surprising to us was that many kids were unsure about whether they had had sex or not," one of the study's authors, Sarah Flicker, a professor of environmental studies at York University, told CBC News at the time "And even among those who were unsure, some reported that they had engaged in oral sex, anal sex or vaginal sex."

That study recommended sweeping changes to the way sex education is taught in schools, including kicking off the conversation as early as kindergarten. That's what this curriculum is attempting to do (although starting at the Grade One level): to give our kids the information and self-advocacy skills they need to be informed, stay healthy, and develop loving relationships.

This sounds to me like the recipe for a healthier, happier generation of kids and a much less messed-up world.

I hope that vote-seeking politicians and special interest groups don't mess this up for our kids any more than they already have.

There's far too much at stake for the people in charge to lose sight of what really matters here: the health and well-being of the up-and-coming generation of kids.

Related:

Facebook: I Support Sexual Health Education in Ontario: A Facebook group for supporters of the new sexual health curriculum in Ontario.

NOTE: Stay tuned for Part II. I'll be interviewing Heather Corinna, founder of Scarleteen: Sex Education for the Real World, one of the most popular sex information web sites for teens, about why sex education matters.

Parents Can Change the World: 6 Reasons Why Parents Make Great Activists

So you want to save the planet, fix your country, or rally support to a cause that really matters to you. What you need to move your cause forward is a group of parents who are just as passionate about the cause as you are. Here are six reasons why parents make great activists.

1. Parents have a vested interested in working for change. They want to make the world a better place for their children -- and their children's children. (Grandparents are parents, too, and they have time as well as passion to invest in their volunteer work.)

2. Parents get the job done. "If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it." That's how the old saying goes. And parents are some of the busiest people on the planet. They are pros at squeezing 25 hours of living into a 24 hour day. So be clear about what you're trying to achieve before you recruit parents to your cause. They don't have time for wasted time.

3. Parents have received fabulous on-the-job training for activism simply by being parents. Parents are their children's strongest advocates; and the skills they have developed in advocating for their children's needs within the school system, the health care system, or in the community allow them to advocate for others who may not be able to advocate as effectively for themselves.

4. Parents have staying power. Parenthood is, after all, a marathon event, not a sprint. Parents are used to sticking things through, even when the going gets tough. Very tough. "Why did I sign up for this thing in the first place?" kind of tough. That's why parents are among the most passionate and committed volunteers.

5. Parents have thick skins and that they aren't easily put off by the hairy-eyeball stare. What parent hasn't been told "You're not my friend" (or worse) by a furious three-year-old; or been on the receiving end of the withering stare of a less-than-impressed 15-year-old? Standing firm as a parent isn't the easy thing, but it's the right thing to do. It's excellent preparation for the tough stands anyone working for change may attract (and the hairy-eyeball stares or nasty comments that be or she may attract).

6. Parents are incredibly connected. This generation of parents is wired. They may not always be able to hit the pavement with signs and strollers, or to attend every fund-raising event, but, if they support what you're marching for, they're only a text message away. What's more, being wired allows them to share their passion for your cause with friends and family members -- yet another benefit of working with parents.

Related:

People for Education: People for Education is a parent-led organization working to support public education in Ontario's English, French, and Catholic schools.

Moms Against Climate Change on Facebook: TakeActionOnClimateChange.com is an initiative that gives a voice to parents: the people who care most about protecting the future of our children.

Junction Parents: Clean Air for Clean Lungs: Information about a rally that was held at Queen's Park last year by this local environmental group.