Ferrari gossip columnist rattles F1's cage

One of the delights of surfing the web in search of Formula One news and gossip is occasionally stumbling upon something totally delicious.

Monday, on the official Ferrari team website (www.ferrari.com), there appeared a column written by a person or persons unknown who writes his or her stuff under the pen name "The Horse Whisperer."

That it appears on the official site of Scuderia Ferrari means that it has the formal blessing of senior management and is not just the wacco meanderings of some gossip-monger.

In the instalment – and I’m going to print the whole thing in a second – it takes a huge shot at ex-FIA chief Max Mosley, two of the new F1 teams (Campos and USF1) and, if you read between the lines, the one and only Bernie Ecclestone.

The underlying theme is that the new teams shouldn’t even be in F1 and more should have been done to retain the manufacturers – or that’s what some pundits have suggested.

You decide, because here it is:

"MARANELLO, 22nd February – Only less than three weeks to go until the ultimate form of motor sport, the Formula One World Championship, gets under way, while celebrating its Sixtieth birthday this year.

"For many of the teams, this coming week is a crucial one, as the bell rings to signal the final lap, with the last test session getting under way in Barcelona. It is one last chance to run the cars on track, to push reliability to the limit and to try and find some performance.

"That’s the situation for many teams but not for all of them. Of the 13 teams who signed up, or were induced to sign up, for this year’s Championship, to date only 11 of them have heeded the call, turning up on track, some later than others, and while some have managed just a few hundred kilometres, others have done more, but at a much reduced pace.

"As for the 12th team, Campos Meta, its shareholder and management structure has been transformed, according to rumours which have reached the Horse Whisperer through the paddock telegraph, with a sudden cash injection from a munificent white knight, well used to this sort of last minute rescue deal.

"However, the beneficiaries of this generosity might find the knight in question expects them to fulfil the role of loyal vassal.

"It is hard to imagine the Dallara-designed car showing its face at the Catalunya Circuit, with Sakhir a more likely venue to witness the return of the Senna name to a Formula 1 session.

"The 13th team, USF1, appears to have gone into hiding in Charlotte, North Carolina, to the dismay of those like the Argentinian, Lopez, who thought he had found his way into the Formula 1 paddock, (albeit with help from chairwoman Kirchner, according to the rumours) and now has to start all over again.

"Amazingly, they still have the impudence to claim that everything is hunky-dory under the starry stripy sky.

"Next, we have the Serbian vultures. Firstly, they launched themselves into a quixotic legal battle with the FIA, then they picked the bones of Toyota on its death bed. Having got some people on board, around whom there was still a whiff of past scandals, they are now hovering around waiting to replace whoever is first to drop out of the game, possibly with backing from that very same knight in shining armour whom we mentioned earlier.

"This is the legacy of the holy war waged by the former FIA president. The cause in question was to allow smaller teams to get into Formula 1.

"This is the outcome: two teams will limp into the start of the championship, a third is being pushed into the ring by an invisible hand – you can be sure it is not the hand of Adam Smith – and, as for the fourth, well, you would do better to call on Missing Persons to locate it.

"In the meantime, we have lost two constructors along the way, in the shape of BMW and Toyota, while at Renault, there’s not much left other than the name.

"Was it all worth it?"

Comments

[allenparkpete]

hunky dory? starry stripy sky? serbian vultures? gheesh. This year's Ferrari car must be that good that they can be so verbose before Race #1. I can see their point that the defection of Honda, Toyota and other manufacturers might be bad for the sport but let's not forget that Mercedes and Lotus (Proton) are making an official appearance this year. Just try and word it in a more direct manner and less flamboyance. As for Max and Bernie, any flogging their way is deserved.

[racingmaniac]

While its typical for Italian to do the over-dramatic announcement, the guy has a point on the new teams. While Virgin and Lotus made it(albeit rather slowly), Campos and USF1 is sketchy, and Stefan F1 somehow just seems rather oppotunistic. There were very legitimate entries from known racing houses like Prodrive or Lola with good credential and were rejected by the "vetting" process of the FIA, which right now can only be called bogus. While the drastic whole sale rule change and the subsequent 180 sure alienated the stability seeking car companies. Its a farce for sure....

Although, what with the economy and all, there are no guarantee the car makers would have stayed.

[Bill Taylor]

Some very erudite writing there -- clearly someone who knows the subject and has an admirable command of the English language. So it's not to be shrugged off.

"Horse Whisperer" is a brilliant name for a Ferrari columnist!