I give you my weird

Bloggers love to ''tag'' each other with silly self-revelatory quizzes. The latest challenge is to describe five weird things about oneself. I was watching this thing spread throughout the Internet feeling very left out, because nobody tagged me. Boo-hoo. Made me think of those high school days when nobody chose me for the murderball team. (Sorry, I am not good at physical violence.)

Tonight, in an email exchange with my very favourite popcult blogger, the impossibly handsome, witty and charming  Ghost of a Flea, I chastised him for not tagging me.  Turns out that my unseen friend Jay Currie had tagged me two days ago, at the same time as he had tagged Flea. I had no idea. (Thanks Jay!) I guess I should check my sitemeter once in a while.

Anyway, without further ado, because it's not like I haven't been sitting here stewing about this for days, planning what I would write or anything, here are my weird confessions:

(1) I hate bananas. I cannot stand the smell of them, the texture of them, or the sound of somebody eating them. No, I don't have a problem with the sight of them so don't go there. (I think that, esthetically, they round out the look of a fruit bowl quite beautifully.) But eat one near me and breathe on me that banana breath and you'll need a mop. And a bucket. It won't be pretty.

(2) I think I have seen every episode of Sex and the City like 20 times. I still watch them. I will watch them until the day I die. I make no apology for that because I know many blogger guys can say the same for every episode of The Simpsons.

(3) I am a member of two gyms. I often work out twice a day. I can outrun, outspin, outlift, outstep, outcrunch, outpump, outtrain, outlast almost everybody I know. But then I make up for it by sitting for hours and hours like a blob in this chair.

(4) I don't know how to work my DVD player.

(5) I can eat the same thing every day for months. My current breakfast is whole grain toast, cottage cheese loaded with cinnamon and Splenda and blueberries. Lunch is whole wheat rigatoni with boiled dandelions, sardines, garlic, hot chilies, feta and Parmesan cheese and sardines. (Sounds gross but is low-cal, high-fibre and delish.) Dinner is a low fat chicken Caesar with no croutons. This has been my menu (except for holidays, going out and the occasional Doritos jag) since September. I never get bored of it. Never. And when i do get bored of it, I'll switch to something else and eat that for months and months.

BONUS WEIRD THING:

(6) I freak out if anybody tries to load my dishwasher. And if somebody insists, I always rearrange it late at night.

So now, because I came late to this party, I have to find five previously untagged people to tag. Easy: I go with Carla Lucchetta, Bill Doskoch, Tart Cider, Doucheblog and that S--t from Hell.

Comments

[20/20]

Antonia,
Watch out for those Doritos!

[Jay Currie]

I am so with you on the dishwasher...except that it is only if I have begun the stacking. If my sweetie does, no problem, but if I put a plate or two in then I finish the job and no one touches it.

[Jinoole]

"I hate bananas. I cannot stand the smell of them, the texture of them, or the sound of somebody eating them."

We Somalis, on the other hand, eat bananas with every available dish. I mean, go visit a Somali restaurant and your dish isn't finished unless accompanied by a banana.

We don't eat it alone, like other fruits. We only eat it with a dish of rice or spaghetti or other dinner-like full dishes.

It is a peculiar custom of Somalis, and other foreigners are dumbfounded when they see us eat a banana with a plate of rice.

Try it, you may be surprised how wonderful it tastes once you eat it with your plate of rice.

[Ivan Prokopchuk]

Antonia,
I would love to do a Freudian analysis, a parody on a Freud essay on your Five Weird Things, just for laughs.
But with old age, family anxieties and landlord problems, I am just too scattered.
Maybe one line will do it. "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

[Dan Toom]

Wot!! Wot!! No crean corn??

[Greg Soucie]

Hi Antonia,

Busted link. Your 'Sh-t from Hell' hyperlink, which I'm assuming should be pointed towards Warren Kinsella, is a repeat of the (quite funny, thanks) Doucheblog link. Cheers.

[Antonia Z.]

Thanks Greg! I was tired last night and screwed up. I am fixing it now.

[Ivan Prokopchuk]

Dan Toom,
You devil!

[Aaron]

Why all the hate for bananas? Where's the love? They're just fruits. You're a fruitist.

I have never heard of Cottage Cheese with Cinnamon, Splenda and Blueberries. I can understand cinnamon and splenda, but where do the blueberries fit in?

You should try sour cream and sugar (or, in your case, Splenda) on fresh bread.

Or blue cheese on toasted rye.

[Bill Doskoch]

I made my offbeat post. Go ahead. Read it -- and enjoy your little laugh.