LARRY JONES - THE UGLY AMERICAN TOURIST

Why is it that when Chipper Jones rips his experience of seven days in Toronto for Round 1 of the World Baseball Classic, we fall all over ourselves looking to refute?

Okay so Larry didn't have a good time, so what? He was hitless and pulled an oblique muscle in his side -- as opposed to the obtuse muscle in his head. It was the middle of March, not the best month to go wander the streets of T-O looking for a warm breeze, an outdoor patio and northern exposure.

First of all, Chipper is in the NL, so not used to the neighbourhoods of the city. Second of all, he is on a team with unfamiliar teammates that don't really want to go out with a hitless wonder from a city with clearly the worst night-time downtown core in the league.

"I don't know if you've ever stayed in Toronto, but it's not Las Vegas." Those are the words that annoy us. Why do people overreact? It's like someone telling you "your wife is no Charlize Theron." Yeah!

As long as you have places to go that you know you'll enjoy, "vive la difference."

As far as Chipper feeling the WBC format needs tweaking, I'll gladly agree with that. As I wrote in an earlier column, it's easy.

Workout day in Round 1 city; then doubleheader; then the next day winner-winner and loser-loser; then the undefeated 2-0 team moves on to next city. The two teams at 1-1 then play for second place...repeat in next city for Round 2. Then play the same Final Four as now and you have the whole thing wrapped up in 11 days including the workout day in  the first city. Simple.

As for Chipper's comments -- Chill.

Comments

[Bob Holden]

Chipper Who?

[David Wencer]

I wonder what parts of Toronto athletes actually go to when they're here. Whenever a baseball player in the media is asked about their favourite Toronto spots, they invariably name a restaurant on Front Street, or The Keg - essentially, places that people from Toronto go to with their families when one of them is having a birthday.

While they're encouraged to visit hospitals and schools to interact with children, do they ever partake in the many more adult-oriented opportunities Toronto has to offer? You never hear about Vernon Wells going to an exhibit at the ROM or John McDonald's favourite restaurant being in chinatown or Alex Rios doing karaoke near Christie Pits or B.J. Ryan checking out a band at the Cameron House. It seems as if the athletes who play half their home games here never even bother checking out the rest of the city, being content to wander only 3 or 4 blocks from the stadium.

[Steve M]

Until the quote attributed to Chippy Jones was posted I'd thought the guy was a pretty classy veteran player.

His comments only suggest that he's not bright enough to find something to do in a world class city.

He may have been particularly grumpy because he couldn't buy a hit in the WBC games. Maybe he wasn't hitting because those darn busy eyebrows, he said he was reduced to plucking, were hanging down too far.

Hey Chip buddy, should you ever have to suffer the indignity of coming to Toronto again - don't go out of your way to do so however, bring someone with you who can read Canadian english and you'll find plenty to do.

Start with visiting a hospital ward and spreading a bit of cheer instead of pining for Las Vegas and the many oh-so-worthwhile pursuits it offers.

[Matt from Oakville]

He should have visited Paris, Ontario - or perhaps the trailer park in Brandford. Chipper would've felt at home.

[Dean]

I understand Chipper actually goes moose hunting in Saskatchewan a lot(!) and the locals say he is a really nice guy. So he didn't like Toronto, who cares. A lot of people don't (sorry TO).

[Donald Bruce Wright]

What I wonder is how not being Las Vegas is perceived as a slight. For anyone with some taste and no love of gambling, Tacky Town is not a an attractive destination.