Mother pimps daughter for political gain

Okay, so that's a bit extreme. But, between the tears and having daughter Chelsea as a podium prop, perhaps Hillary Clinton has found a way to beat Barack Obama.

Here's a taste of today's treeware column on the matter.

In 1992, when Mike Myers, then the basement-dwelling Wayne of Saturday Night Live's "Wayne's World," mocked Chelsea Clinton's looks, cruelly comparing her to Al Gore's daughters, I shrank back into the couchmaster feeling sympathy for the awkward 13-year-old who had been thrust into the public spotlight.

It was just the beginning for the only child of President Bill Clinton and Hillary (Rodham, only when it's politically expedient) Clinton.

Even Republican Sen. John McCain, who plays a nice guy on Jon Stewart's Daily Show, reportedly joked about her: "Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?

"Because her father is (former Attorney General) Janet Reno."

Imagine how it felt to be that girl, the first child in the White House since Amy Carter, and the first to grow up in the glare of 24/7 cable news and the Internet right-wing hate machine.

All this as your father is revealed to be a guy who dipped his cigar in many a humidor.

(Need I remind anybody that Clinton was impeached for lying about a blow job? Meanwhile, President George W. Bush still sits all peachy-keen after lying about why he wanted to blow up a country.)

One reader emailed this morning to accuse me of making even more ado about Chelsea, saying I was just as bad about writing about the coverage of her as the people who were writing about her.

Maybe.

But at least I got in one major point the celebrity profilers have ignored. Republican contender Mike Huckabee's son David, who strung up a stray dog and killed it, who last year got caught with a loaded Glock at airport security, is being ignored by the mainstream press his holy roller dad is attracting.

There. Heh. I mentioned it again.

Comments

[sooey]

I guess it's just easy for the Right to make nasty comments about little girls' looks because they hate both women and children?

[godammitkitty]

I remember that SNL comment from Myers, but I'd totally forgotten about McCain's vile remarks about Chelsea. I know Myers apologized--did McCain? I ask with all sincerity, as I really don't remember.

Regarding Huckabee & sons: after his big Iowa coup, I thought it was veeeeery eeeeeenterestink that Huck chose to be pictured w/Chuck Norris instead of his porn-collector & dog-torturer sons. Woulda been a far cry from Obama's photogenic fambly, eh?

I can't imagine myself in teenage-Chelsea's shoes. It sucks being a teenager, let alone a female teenager...add Drudge & co. and I think I woulda hid under the duvet for 8 yrs :(

[Antonia]

Did he apologize? not to my knowledge.

http://www.salon.com/news/1998/06/25newsb.html

[godammitkitty]

Thanks for the Salon link, Antonia. Oh look, there's Maureen Dowd again. Grrrr.

[Ed01]

God, AZ, you're slipping. You forgot young Huckabee's excessive talking and use of a pager when he went to high school.

http://www.memphisflyer.com/backissues/issue541/media541.htm

[Ed01]

Is Fox not mainstream enough?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,268762,00.html

[johnnykap]

Huckabee's kid killed an insect. Big whoop. At least he didn't murder someone like Canadian Paul Bernardo. Everything is relative. At least as an ordained minister, Huckabee is eligible to offer his son full forgiveness in the eyes of the invisible superbeing (superbeings if you're a Catholic). What does any of this have to do with losing weight?

[Antonia]

He took a stray dog and strung it up by the neck until it was dead. Some insect. If you find that acceptable, then it says everything my readers need to know about you.

[johnnykap]

Miss Zerbisias, perhaps the reference to the Kevin Kline character in A Fish Called Wanda was a tad obscure for. Maybe the movie was never released in Canada. At any rate, I refuse to be dragged into a debate about abortion by anyone on the left. People on your side have placed a higher value on the life of a dog than on the life of a fetus. They join PETA to assuage their collective guilt. And as for Huckabee, you should love him. He's a huge liberal populist. I personally despise him, although I must concede what his son did to that insect, or dog as you call it, had nothing to do with Huckabee.