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February 02, 2009

Ovum Office

Michbabybump  So last week, the cyber trash talkers were all abuzz over whether U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama was preggers.

That's because, in some photos and some outfits, there's been a kind of bunching up of fabric around her middle.

This has been taken as a sure sign of the blessed baby bump, seen here in an image from the deliciously trashy Gawker.

Frankly, I think there are bigger things on the Obamas' minds right now, like the economy, world peace, climate change and, well you name it. Still, there's no denying that they're in love and anything is possible.

What's more, Michelle O recently turned 45, and a pregnancy at her age is undeniably high-risk as we saw with Sarah Palin.

Besides, I suspect she has other plans for the next few years.

Anyway, is it anybody's business but the Obamas?

That's why I didn't bother to blog this last week.

But then, I stumbled on this:

If the pregnancy rumors that are swirling about Michelle Obama are true, then the new presidential couple have truly hit the recession with a trifecta punch.

#1, The $819 billion economic stimulus, #2: The Obama family females — Michelle, Malia, and Sasha — who have kicked off a style stimulus. And now, slamming it out of the ballpark, they will have ignited an emotional stimulus.

There's almost nothing that this beleaguered country could use more now than an adorable Obama baby. In fact, we need it so badly, that if Michelle isn't already knocked up with #3, she and Barack should start trying immediately. Star magazine actually reports that Michelle has already consulted with fertility experts at Northwestern University in Chicago. Nothing would epitomize the new optimistic spirit of change, hope, and rebirth more than a baby born into the White House.

And talk about harkening back to an earlier era of inspiration. The last time there was a baby birth, Jackie and John F. Kennedy were the parents.

The photos and antics of Caroline and John John cavorting at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, captivated the American public in the '60s.

Now, with a pregnancy, the Camelot-ian charisma of the Obamas would be catapulted into the stratosphere.

Yes, have a baby for political reasons! Do it for the flag!

This opinion piece was penned by former Star writer Bonnie Fuller, who went on to edit Cosmopolitan, US Weekly and a stack of other mags which trade in celeb images and baby bump speculations.

Which could explain this: 

Just think about the gift this baby will give to many hurting industries. First off, the media would be blessed. Celebrity newsweekly covers would have weeks of the question mark story: Is She or Isn't She Pregnant?, then there would be months to follow the growth of The Obama Bump.

Oh yay! Babies for the tabloid bottom lines!

Oh but there's more:

But an Obama baby wouldn't just stimulate the media industry, including paparazzi sales, just think of what it will do for the entire baby service industry. Moms across America will want to
purchase the same stroller, car seat, booster, bassinet, sippy cup, and wardrobe as the new mini Michelle or Barack.

And best of all, we'd finally get a break from the dreary economic news. Instead, we can look forward to the new front page headlines: Michelle: Breast or Bottle?; The Childbirth: Epidural or
Natural?; First Lady Balancing Act: Can Michelle Do It All?

The Obamas' own personal baby boom could have another positive consequence — a national one. Bad economic times usually translate into a drop in the birth rate. During the Great Depression, births plunged 15%. Well, the last thing America needs with its quadrillion dollar deficit is a smaller future generation of taxpayers to pay it off.

The Obama Boom can help us offset that now.

Babies as stimulus packages!

She has got to be kidding.

Right?

It's a joke.

Right?



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Comments

That Style fluff from HuffPo is the gendered reversal of Mark Steyn's rant wherein he conflated loose women, condoms, economic stimulus and his hatred of Democrats into one chunk of right-wing agit-prop.

With regard to Bonnie Fuller, it's pro-natalist glurge pumped up on steroids. As for Steyn, it's the same-old same-old venomous disinformation.

How long do you think it will be until the fetus fetishists start claiming these pictures prove Michelle Obama was pregnant but had an abortion.

The Obama's should adopt a little white Republican baby. That would drive Mark Steyn stark-raving mad, I bet.

we're talking about a 45 year old woman here - is it not possible that she's just got a little tummy? the "baby bump" obsession has got to end. if the Obama family were to have a baby, great for them, but like anyone else it should be what is right for THEIR family, not the nation!

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  • Antonia Zerbisias has been a Star columnist since 1989 but has been telling people what she thinks ever since she could open her mouth. Her career ambition as an opinionator dates back to Grade 9 when a cartoon commentary on a teacher resulted in her suspension from high school. The principal sent her home with a note calling her "rude, obstreperous and bold." Her parents were neither amused, nor surprised. Once she was punished for being that way. Now she makes it pay. And, because she can take it as well as dish it out, she wants to hear what you have to say. Fire away!

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