Vice squad

You know, with all the horrors going on in the world, it's a wonder that the Vatican has so much time for  Cosmopolitan quizzes like this.

Women are prouder than men, but men are more lustful, according to a Vatican report which states that the two sexes sin differently.

A Catholic survey found that the most common sin for women was pride, while for men, the urge for food was only surpassed by the urge for sex.

The report was based on a study of confessions carried out by Fr Roberto Busa, a 95-year-old Jesuit scholar.

The Pope's personal theologian backed up the report in the Vatican newspaper.

"Men and women sin in different ways," Msgr Wojciech Giertych, theologian to the papal household, wrote in L'Osservatore Romano.

"When you look at vices from the point of view of the difficulties they create you find that men experiment in a different way from women."

Msgr Giertych said the most difficult sin for men to face was lust, followed by gluttony, sloth, anger, pride, envy and greed.

For women, the most dangerous sins were pride, envy, anger, lust, and sloth, he added.

So, if I'm reading this right, women are guilty of wanting to dress in the latest fashions, are jealous of other women who have nicer handbags, get angry at their husbands for not being able to buy them nice jewelry like the other girls get, drool over Clive Owen and Jon Hamm while sitting around and watching TV.

Men, on the other hand, turn into horndogs while stuffing their faces in the La-Z-y Boy, lose it when the Leafs lose, act like team owners when they win, covet the Stanley Cup and wish they had the dough for season's tickets.

I'd say we're not doing too badly. You?

I mean, we all have our definitions of lust, sloth, greed, etc.

But what's this? Are they changing up the game??

The Apostolic Penitentiary, one of the Vatican's most secretive departments, which fixes the punishments and indulgences handed down to sinners, last year updated its list of deadly sins to include more modern ones.

The revised list included seven modern sins it said were becoming prevalent during an era of "unstoppable globalisation".

These included: genetic modification, experiments on the person, environmental pollution, taking or selling illegal drugs, social injustice, causing poverty and financial greed.

Four out of seven ain't bad. And, amazingly, there is nothing about, you know, having sex for purposes other than making more Church members.

The report came amid Vatican concerns about the declining rate of confessions.

Aha!

A recent survey of Catholics found nearly a third no longer considered confession necessary, while one in 10 considered the process an obstacle to their dialogue with God.

Yes, well, He takes direct calls, doesn't he?

Pope Benedict, who reportedly confesses his sins once a week, last year issued his own voice of disquiet on the subject.

"We are losing the notion of sin," he said. "If people do not confess regularly, they risk slowing their spiritual rhythm."

Thank Heaven, dancing isn't on the list.

Tip of the red hat to Philly Markowitz.

UPPITY WOMEN DATE: While looking for something else, came across this. Maybe women are angrier than men.

Parenting.com recently revealed the results of an investigation into the marital relationships of 1,000 American mothers. The none-too-shocking news? Married women are pissed at their husbands. According to the poll, 46 percent of moms get irate with their spouses once a week or more. One in 10 describe their rage as "deep and long-lasting." As author Martha Brockenborough writes:

 "We're mad that having children has turned our lives upside down much more than theirs. We're mad that these guys, who can manage businesses or keep track of thousands of pieces of sports trivia, can be clueless when it comes to what our kids are eating and what supplies they need for school. And more than anything else, we're mad that they get more time to themselves than we do."

Is this why more men than women mention sloth as a sin?

The Parenting survey tells us what we already knew -- that feminism has a lot of unfinished business. And believe me, I know that when you're exhausted and overwhelmed, a stack of dishes can seem to carry the weight of oppressed generations. But at the same time, women today have more freedom than ever to reinvent our domestic arrangements and to create what we want from our relationships. So why do so many of us seem to be living with men we perceive as recalcitrant, overgrown children?

I wonder how the answers would have come out had they asked women about men's sins -- and vice versa.

YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS UPDATE: I can just imagine the Times of London people rolling on the newsroom floor when they wrote this Vatican sin quiz story up.

Pride ranks only at No 5 for men, who are likely to have indulged in so much lust and gluttony that they are too slothful to feel angry, proud, envious or avaricious. Women are not averse to lust, but are primarily occupied with pride, envy and anger. Sloth does not set in until after gluttony and avarice.

Comments

[skdadl]

LOL. That's a nice fisking, Antonia.

I will confess to the sin of pride on one turf only: like a lot of women, I have been self-effacing through my now regrettably lengthy life, and I'm mostly proud of that, of taking care of other people and beings, although it has cost me a lot, which sometimes rankles.

About the modern sins: I count five out of seven. What am I missing?

[Randall]

So does this mean that if a drug is legalized, it's no longer a sin to take it? This has some possibilities . . .

[Antonia]

Viagra for you, The Pill for me ... both are legal ...

[sooey]

Allow me to paraphrase the Humanist Society's lastest advertising campaign, "There probably is no god, but even if there is, stop worrying and enjoy your life".

[Sebastian Stoker]

Thanks Antonia, for reminding me why I am a lapsed Catholic.

I was raised and educated in the post-Vatican II era, and suffered a disconnect with the church of the 1980's. Since then I have become more and more puzzled by its perspective on the world and modern life.

Wouldn't there be fewer absurdities from the church if the clergy were allowed to marry? I can just imagine the Pope's wife looking over his shoulder.

"Oh," she would more often than not say. "Sweetie, do you really think that is such a good idea?"

[Antonia]

That totally cracked me up, Sebastian.

[lagatta]

Odd, given that the old farts are writing from Italy, where men are AT LEAST as vain and dress-conscious as women, if not more so.

[Antonia]

Funny you say that, considering how they get all duded up in those hats and robes, all trimmed with gold, in the Vatican.

Anyway, I am convinced their concern over confession has more to do with not learning about who is doing what to whom in the parishes and therefore having less control.

[Sebastian Stoker]

There is definitely something voyeuristic about confession, particularly in matters of sexuality, as priests are supposed to be above all that.

I could never comfortably go to confession, and fortunately it was not enforced when I attended Catholic school. I went to confession three times, and even the first time, as a small child, I felt there was something smutty about the whole process.

I cannot imagine going as a teen-aged boy - I would have had to keep a notebook...or maybe a spreadsheet.