Licence to thrill

The only reason I found this remotely interesting is that I was a rabid James Bond fan in my teens, having read all the Ian Fleming novels between the time Dr. No hit the theatres and Goldfinger debuted.

It's an almost scholarly examination of 007's sexual encounters and politics, complete with footnotes and graphs.

Here are some of the conclusions:

Of the 12 Women who have an affair with Bond, one commits suicide (Vesper) and three are murdered: Tatiana, Jill and Tracy.

As for the remaining 8 Bond Women:

Solitaire intends spending two weeks with Bond before they part. Cork writes:

The novel ends with Bond and Solitaire anticipating a libidinous fortnight together after their adventure. Neither appears to hold any illusions about a future beyond. Neither carries any guilt or any emotional burden as a consequence of their actions. (107)

Tiffany Case and Bond spend several happy months together in London. The reason for Tiffany deciding to leave Bond is revealed by 007 to M. in From Russia, With Love: (108)

“Well, sir, we did get on well. And there was some idea we might get married. But then she met some chap in the American Embassy. On the Military Attaché’s staff. Marine Corps major. And I gather she is going to marry him. They’ve both gone back to the States, as a matter of fact. Probably better that way. Mixed marriages aren’t often a success.” (109)

It is surprising, then, that Bennett and Woollacott should write:

Constructed according to the formula ‘equal but yet subordinate’, her destiny is not to be a housewife - in Diamonds are Forever [actually, From Russia, With Love], Tiffany case flirts with this possibility, only to reject it - but a free and equal partner, neither dependent on Bond nor encumbering him with duties and responsibilities, but who none the less, when it comes to the crunch (in bed) knows her place. (110)

Clearly Tiffany’s destiny is to be a housewife. First she wants to marry Bond, and then she gets engaged to a Marine Corps major.

As for poor old Bond, he has failed in the marriage stakes yet again. He was engaged to Vesper but she died. He married Tracy and she died. He loved Gala but she married another. Tiffany does the same.

Meanwhile, Kissy Suzuki happily adopts the role of housewife to Bond as she brings him back to life.

All of this sounds like Bond is the kind of fellow who falls in love with Women who want to get married.

Of the unmarried Women (as far as we know; they may all have grandchildren by now), one is Honeychile Rider. How does Bond leave her? Infuriatingly, this is never revealed. It is risky to presume, but it is possible that Bond left her in Jamaica when he returned to London post-mission. If this is the case, she would be the first Bond Woman to be abandoned in the line of duty.

My conclusion: It's best to have been Moneypenny, the only Bond girl who survived multiple Bond encounters.

Anyway, after Sean Connery was no longer Bond, I lost interest.

Probably explains why I am still alive.

It's Friday. Give me a break.

Comments

[The Stygian and his Shemitish Dogs]

But if Bond had gone into liberal politics and declared himself "pro-choice", and ingratiated himself with feminists, you would have let him get away with anything, right?
Klinton, Teddy Kennedy?

And in any case, Bond was a piker compared to Flashman, or to Conan (in the original stories). In fact, the Conan stories inspired the following speculation:

"... the fragments of biography ... do not, however, explain how he manged to get rid of the woman of which he was usually possessed by the end of the end of the story in time for him to acquire another in the next. I might, by the way, recommend that question as a subject for literary research to some budding Ph.D in English."

Clark, John D. 1974. “Introduction” Conan the Freebooter: 9-13. London: Sphere.