10 Top Tips For Avoiding Rape
1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
Then go read the rest.
Then ask yourself why it is that all the usual tips are focused on the potential victims. Don't go out alone at night. Don't go jogging on the boardwalk at 5 a.m. Don't use stairwells. Don't wear a tight shirt.
As the late Israeli PM Golda Meir famously told her cabinet during a debate on imposing a curfew on women to protect them from a series of rapes, maybe it's better to lock up the men instead.
UPPITY WOMAN DATE: A few people, who obviously don't have superwide LCD screens like I do, asked me what the balloons in the image say. Here goes:
HE: My sweet honey, I hope you are to be let with the lodgings.
SHE: No, I am to be let alone.