And for good measure, a snip from Wednesday's treeware musings:
Mr. and Mississauga, this weekend, when your daughter spurns the Hermione sweater vest for the prostitot getup, be ready to put up a fight.
Hey, don't get me wrong. I loved to smear lipstick on my face and wear my mother's cocktail dresses. You can be sure I wanted to go out looking like jail bait. But no way would I have gotten past the foyer.
Which is why I got nostalgic at last week's Mad Men when Sally and Bobby dressed as a gypsy and a hobo.
One Halloween, my dark-haired sister, Irene, was outfitted – all from stuff we had in the house – like a gypsy, while I had dirty smears on my face as a hobo.
I was insanely jealous of her eye makeup.
Now, of course, homemade costumes just won't do. At least not from what I can see every year at this time: frazzled parents lining up to get into It's My Party on the Danforth, where all the Riverdalers go for their Halloween supplies.
It's also where big girls can go for their outfits, invariably skimpy sexed-up versions of nurses or sorceresses.
But, no need to look for parking. Just Google "Halloween costumes sexy" – and you'll find all you need to look as if you're working in the kinky division of your local brothel.
Even in plus sizes.
If you hit the club district this Saturday night, you'll see sexy French maids, sexy firefighters, sexy everything.
As for the guys, they may be costumed, or not.
Consider how the men dress up: more often than not as zombies or vampires, gangsters or super- heroes, athletes or cops.
Boys and men invariably opt for personas that represent power or strength, for good or bad. I can't count the number of Freddy Kruegers that continue to show up at my door on Halloween.
So what is it about the female sex that drives them to strut their stuff in thigh-high fishnets at least once a year?
That's a heck of a lot scarier than some of the ghosts, monsters and other fright sights back in the day. Check out these vintage photos for the homemade hauntings I can recall.