Stomping grapes

Just walked past one of those little wine stores that sell Canadian product and was thunderstruck by a display for a new line of Niagara plonk, Strut.

Its

four wine 'personalities' are: Chardonista (Chardonnay), Well Heeled White (a white blend of Riesling and Gewurztraminer), Cab Couture (a red blend of Cabernet Franc, Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot) and Red Over Heels (Merlot). Priced at $11.95 with a picnic, party, catwalk, sidewalk friendly screw-cap closure, Strut wines suggest stylish, approachable spontaneity.

What's up with disembodied female body parts? Are women just boobs, bums, legs? Don't men strut? How come all the photographers are men? Will drinking it make me strut? Will it make me sexier?

Don't these people read their own ad copy?

Today's young woman is the ultimate multi-tasker; she knows she can have it all and she's going for it. Just check out her Blackberry calendar. Mogul, mom, model and much more ...

Yes because all us mogul mom models are so busy we have to rely on screw caps while doing the catwalk in killer heels and mini-skirts.

I call sexism.

You?

Wasting away in mojitosville

If I blog at all between now and March 4th, it will be from this very spot:

I know. I know.

Poor me.

Hold the fort.

Hot off the chest press!

Two news reports struck me today.

First, this story about the swelling numbers for ''man boob'' reduction surgery.

New figures from the British Association of Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, due to be published on Monday, are reported to show the number of men opting for breast-reduction procedures last year rose by nearly half.

In the space of five years, the figure has increased from 22 operations in 2003 to 224 in 227.

A quick cruise on Google reveals all kinds of surgeons advertising the procedure surgery for the condition, called gynecomastia.

Hey, I can understand why a man would go for this, especially in this day and age when even guys are subjected to cultural and media tyranny of conforming to some impossible ideal. Welcome to our world, fellas!

Anyway, by coincidence, a regular reader in Plano, Texas sent me this today, about how, while the economy is going bust, new ''breastaurants' are trying to cash in on the Hooters apparent, um, uplift in the dining out market.

... inspired by the success of Hooters’ wings-toting female staff, restaurants such as Twin Peaks, Bone Daddy’s and other local operators with cute waitresses, cold beer and a male clientele are, well, busting out all over. And Texas, where the sole Hooters’ franchisee is both the chain’s sales leader and No. 1 in locations nationally, is a prime market for the "breastaurant" concept.

Well, why not? Personally I don't get Hooters. The wings are lousy and the ambiance not much hotter. I see the concept as a clever ploy to cash in on society's prudery and the male fixation with ladyparts. Everybody gets exploited, including the Hooters girls, as this recent story revealed:

Hooters Waitress Awarded Benefits After Being Fired For Bruises

Hooters officials say that Dye abandoned her job. They also admit that her bruises made her temporarily ineligible to work as a "Hooter's Girl."

The administrative law judge that heard the public hearing recently on the behalf of Dye's request of benefits ruled in the 27-year-old former Hooter Girl's favor. Her "inability to work due to bruises" was not a matter of workplace misconduct.

During 2008 Dye had been the victim several times to domestic violence. On September 3 she was badly beaten and some of her hair cut off after she left work for the day.

The next day Dye and her employers talked, agreeing that she should heal for a few weeks before working in the restaurant. General Manager Gina Sheedy said that the bruises that Dye had would have been visible outside of the Hooters uniform.

So, she gets beaten up by her partner and then fired instead of getting some sort of sick leave. Nice.

Well, it doesn't always go badly for Hooters in the courts:

Having withstood lawsuits by men who wanted to join the women-only waitstaff and Equal Employment Opportunity Commission discrimination charges, Hooters had systemwide sales of $997 million in 2008, up 2 percent from 2007, according to a recent Atlanta Journal-Constitution report. Hooters won’t admit to worrying about the competitors, even in a bad economy.

"At this point, there’s no Avis to our Hertz," said Michael McNeil, marketing vice president for the privately held, Atlanta-based Hooters of America. "We’re not looking over our shoulders."

No, but maybe they should be looking elsewhere.

With all those chesty men out there, those lawsuits may not get bounced by the courts next time.

UPPITY DATE: Ooopsy. As Michelle and Lagatta in the comments pointed out, I mistakenly referred to the breast reduction procedure as gynecomastia. It is actually the condition. I made the correction.

One more reason I am a recluse

So, you think you have problems avoiding the tart cart at 3 p.m.? Or the bowl of candies on your office mate's desk?

Boo-hoo for you.

I can totally relate to the temptation, believe me.

Just a few minutes ago, one of those office-wide emails landed in my Star inbox. It was from our restaurant critic Amy Pataki, inviting all of us to help ourselves to some freebie chocolate truffles that came in.

Let me tell you, when you work at a newspaper, especially in the Living and Entertainment departments, companies are always sending you loot, much of it edible. When Krispy Kreme launched in Toronto, we were buried in donuts. Every time a chip maker introduces a new flavour, it rains Doritos or Ruffles. If a fast food joint invents a better pizza, it gets sent to us.

Once, back when I was TV critic, I noted in a column that my pal Rita Zekas and I had to watch the Oscars in the office because of our jobs, a chocolate boutique send me a box full of the most exquisite -- and expensive -- movie-themed candies. Another time, I talked of how watching a particular show was as addictive as eating a certain brand of potato chips -- and came in to find a case of the stuff on my desk.

All in the name of marketing, of course.

Anyway, over the weekend, the New York Times tackled the issue of office eating, seeking tips from three people who managed to overcome the lunchroom trap.

I love tortilla chips. I love dark chocolate, too. I just love food. But I’m determined. My co-workers noticed when I lost 10 pounds, which was an incentive to keep going. The company buys lunch for us a lot, and often it’s pizza. When I first started losing weight, I just ate the topping and my salad from home. The last time we had it, I ate an entire slice. But I paid for it: I plateaued for a couple of days.

I don’t deprive myself totally. There’s usually a candy jar in my area, and I grab a piece occasionally. But losing weight is so rewarding that I resist temptation more often than not. I feel better now.

Me, I prefer to stay at home where there's no temptation at all.

Life sentence

Yeah, yeah. You heard it before. Eat your veggies, exercise, quit smoking and cut back on the booze and you'll live a longer, healthier life. But nobody actually has ever said HOW long, or HOW healthy. Until now.

People who drink moderately, exercise, quit smoking and eat five servings of fruit and vegetables each day live on average 14 years longer than people who adopt none of these behaviors, researchers said on Tuesday.

Overwhelming evidence has shown that these things contribute to healthier and longer lives, but the new study actually quantified their combined impact, the British team said.

"These results may provide further support for the idea that even small differences in lifestyle may make a big difference to health in the population and encourage behavior change," the researchers wrote in the journal PLoS Medicine.

Many people think that, if they do all these things, life will only seem longer.

But no. Wheezing around with bad knees and constant constipation isn't exactly living it up.

And by the way, despite FIVE PERFECT DAYS, including hours and hours at the gym, the scale has not budged.

Feel so bad must have cigarette and drink now.

Antonia's Mexican Egg Salad Sandwich

Lunch! Delicioso!

1 Tortilla Factory Multigrain wrap -- 80 calories, 13 grams fibre (perfect for filling you up).
1 large hard-boiled egg -- 80 calories.
2 Tbs. store-bought guacamole -- 60 calories. Healthier and lower calorie than mayo.
5 grape tomatoes.
1 handful mixed greens.

Mash the guac (or ripe 1/4 avocado) with the egg. Season to taste. (I went nuts with the cayenne pepper and onion powder. But then, I work alone at home.)
Line the wrap with greens.
Smush the egg mixture on top.
Line up the grape tomatoes in a row.
Roll.

Total calories, with pre-cut crudites from a box because I am fricken lazy, 250. More like 275.

This leaves another 200-300 for a snack later.

BTW: My friends Brett Lamb (the sandwich king) and Sheena take stunning food pictures. I am an amateur. I only thought of snapping this after I had eaten half the sandwich.