Make. It. Stop.

Stick it to them

By way of Sociological Images, this eye-opening quiz called ''When they were curvy'' by the folks at Ayyyy!

It's pretty straight-forward.

Below are 10 celebs, ranging from the super-famous to the lesser-famous. I am no stargazer but I knew of all of them. In these photos, how they used to look. Lush and healthy.

Now they're a lot thinner. A lot thinner.

See if you can guess who they are:

Answers -- plus their current looks -- are here.

OOPSY DATESY: (This part weirdly dropped out of my original post.)

What happened between then and now? Did these women become ill?

True, in a few cases, drug abuse became an issue. As for the rest, is the pressure to wear designer gowns on the red carpet so great that they would, in a couple of instances, get scary thin? Don't tell me most are not more attractive in their ''befores.''

So what happened over this past decade (or so) to account for this?

Dangerous curves

Listen, I am no Jessica Simpson fan. But millions of girls are.

Although I would prefer that girls seek out role models that are about accomplishment -- especially in areas away from the stage, screen and red carpet -- girls like what they like until they grow up, or don't.

Whatever.

The thing is, they could do worse than Simpson, despite her endorsement of George W. Bush and other gaffes. (Allo? Calling Paris? Allo?)

So anyway, Simpson is back in the news not because of her ''art'' but because of her arse. Last week, she performed at country music concert in Florida, in a pair of leopard-skin double-belted high-waisted painted-on jeans that not even supermodel Kate Moss could pull off. 

She also showed off a more zaftig body. Like maybe she gained five whole pounds, and stopped working out three hours a day.

OMG! The horror! My eyes! My eyes!

To say that the reaction was predictable and withering would be an understatement.

Why does this still go on?

Why are women still judged by their bodies?

Why must women look like starvation victims with boobs to be considered ''hot?''

Ovum Office

 So last week, the cyber trash talkers were all abuzz over whether U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama was preggers.

That's because, in some photos and some outfits, there's been a kind of bunching up of fabric around her middle.

This has been taken as a sure sign of the blessed baby bump, seen here in an image from the deliciously trashy Gawker.

Frankly, I think there are bigger things on the Obamas' minds right now, like the economy, world peace, climate change and, well you name it. Still, there's no denying that they're in love and anything is possible.

What's more, Michelle O recently turned 45, and a pregnancy at her age is undeniably high-risk as we saw with Sarah Palin.

Besides, I suspect she has other plans for the next few years.

Anyway, is it anybody's business but the Obamas?

That's why I didn't bother to blog this last week.

But then, I stumbled on this:

If the pregnancy rumors that are swirling about Michelle Obama are true, then the new presidential couple have truly hit the recession with a trifecta punch.

#1, The $819 billion economic stimulus, #2: The Obama family females — Michelle, Malia, and Sasha — who have kicked off a style stimulus. And now, slamming it out of the ballpark, they will have ignited an emotional stimulus.

There's almost nothing that this beleaguered country could use more now than an adorable Obama baby. In fact, we need it so badly, that if Michelle isn't already knocked up with #3, she and Barack should start trying immediately. Star magazine actually reports that Michelle has already consulted with fertility experts at Northwestern University in Chicago. Nothing would epitomize the new optimistic spirit of change, hope, and rebirth more than a baby born into the White House.

And talk about harkening back to an earlier era of inspiration. The last time there was a baby birth, Jackie and John F. Kennedy were the parents.

The photos and antics of Caroline and John John cavorting at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, captivated the American public in the '60s.

Now, with a pregnancy, the Camelot-ian charisma of the Obamas would be catapulted into the stratosphere.

Yes, have a baby for political reasons! Do it for the flag!

This opinion piece was penned by former Star writer Bonnie Fuller, who went on to edit Cosmopolitan, US Weekly and a stack of other mags which trade in celeb images and baby bump speculations.

Which could explain this: 

Just think about the gift this baby will give to many hurting industries. First off, the media would be blessed. Celebrity newsweekly covers would have weeks of the question mark story: Is She or Isn't She Pregnant?, then there would be months to follow the growth of The Obama Bump.

Oh yay! Babies for the tabloid bottom lines!

Oh but there's more:

But an Obama baby wouldn't just stimulate the media industry, including paparazzi sales, just think of what it will do for the entire baby service industry. Moms across America will want to
purchase the same stroller, car seat, booster, bassinet, sippy cup, and wardrobe as the new mini Michelle or Barack.

And best of all, we'd finally get a break from the dreary economic news. Instead, we can look forward to the new front page headlines: Michelle: Breast or Bottle?; The Childbirth: Epidural or
Natural?; First Lady Balancing Act: Can Michelle Do It All?

The Obamas' own personal baby boom could have another positive consequence — a national one. Bad economic times usually translate into a drop in the birth rate. During the Great Depression, births plunged 15%. Well, the last thing America needs with its quadrillion dollar deficit is a smaller future generation of taxpayers to pay it off.

The Obama Boom can help us offset that now.

Babies as stimulus packages!

She has got to be kidding.

Right?

It's a joke.

Right?