If it quacks like a duck…

You can read the full preview of Toyota’s new Venza here, but in good conscious, I have to give you a head’s up.

Despite the Venza essentially being the spiritual successor to the 2001-2007 Toyota Highlander, (i.e. a Camry-based five-door crossover), in an effort to carve out some kind of room in the overcrowded CUV market, Toyota will spend a lot of time and money over the next year trying to convince you that its new crossover isn’t one.

Toyota likes to call it a “car plus.” Does the company really believe the public will not see the Venza for what it is?

If it quacks like a duck...

Of course, the Japanese automaker isn’t the first to try and convince new car buyers that a spade isn’t a shovel.

Audi likes to call its station wagons “Avants.” Suzuki and Dodge attempt to try and call their respective compact wagons, the SX4 and Caliber, "crossovers."

But BMW seems to be the most egregious abuser in warping automotive genre titles.

Like Audi, they think station wagon is a dirty word. Hence, they use the term “Touring.”
Then, about a decade ago, with the launch of the X5 (a 5 Series sedan-based crossover), BMW tagged it as a Sports Activity (not Utility!) Vehicle.

Whether or not any X5 owners ever bought into the Orwellian doublespeak, I have my doubts. Same as the X3 SAV, or the forthcoming X1 SAV that just debuted at last months' Paris auto show. Most owners, I would assume, would say they own a  “BMW SUV.”

Now, we have the X6, right, recently entered in this year's COTY Prestige over $75k category. Arguably the best handling SUV this writer has ever driven, its a swoopy roofed, four-seat version of the X5 crossover that BMW likes to call a “Sports Activity Coupé.”

“Coupé,” eh?

Let’s see: with four doors and a B-pillar, the X6 is about as much of a coupé as is Mercedes-Benz’s swoopy-roofed E class sedan CLS or VW’s CLS rip-off, the Passat CC.

And apparently, the naming insanity will continue.

Allegedly, BMW is planning on a tall sedan version of the X6 (very similar in nature to what Toyota is doing with the Venza) dubbed a "Progressive Activity Vehicle."

Oy vey.

There’s still some hope. Last time I checked, BMW is still calling its 335i sedan, well, a sedan.

Do you buy into these name changes automakers like to foist on us?

Do you really call your Audi A4 station wagon an "Avant" to your friends?

How (with a straight face) will you explain you just bought a BMW Progessive Activity Vehicle to your water cooler office colleagues?

Toyota PR's Prius predicament

Like me, you probably have a vacuum in the house. Somewhere.

In my abode, allegedly, it’s that thing in the downstairs closet that gets brought once a week and makes a loud sucking noise.

Scientifically, a vacuum is “a volume of space that is essentially empty of matter.” And right now, I’m trying to decide which definition—maker of a loud sucking noise, or empty space—best describes Toyota USA’s PR strategy with the yet-to-be-released  2010 Prius hybrid.

Two weeks ago, full exterior and interior images of the much-anticipated Toyota hybrid flooded the Web, left. Toyota even confirmed the images were the real deal, not some Photochop job as some so-called spy shots end up as.

OK. So now, at least two-dimensionally, we know what the next Prius until the real thing shows up in Detroit in January.

But instead of Toyota recognizing what’s now public knowledge, the U.S. PR types keep on keeping on with their so-called teaser campaign, showing inconsequential details of a car that we’ve already seen as a whole.

  First, as seen above right, we saw the display boot-up screen (ooohh!!), then a random switch, left (aaahh!!) and then, left, what looks like is a replica of the HAL 2000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey, and finally (are you sitting down!) a power seat button, right!!

Note to Toyota PR: Enough with the denial already!

2009 AJAC Testivus Festivus - And the winners aren't...

An error in specification data supplied by the manufacturer has resulted in a new winner in this year's AJAC COTY Prestige category. Actually a tie for the category win.

With the proper numbers entered, the Mercedes CL 550 and the Mercedes SL 63 AMG ended up in a dead heat: tied at 627. The score for the third entry, the BMW X6, was 626.

According to Richard Russell, chairman of Canadian COTY, BMW supplied incorrect cargo capacity numbers with the rear seats down instead of up.

The BMW Web site states the difference is 1,450 litres versus 570, respectively.

That resulted in a change of less than two points out of 627. But the class was so close it moved the X6 from first to third.

"In past years we would probably have caught the error, but with the newly compressed format those extra days were not available," said Russell.

He added the issue has already been addressed for next year's event.

So far, BMW Canada hasn't responded to a request to comment.

You already know what cars I think should have won their respective categories this year.

Based on this is the so-called Prestige category, where vehicles can be priced $75,000 and up, how do you feel about the X6 dropping to third?

Should it have won in the first place?

2009 AJAC Testivus Festivus - And the winners are...

NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, Ont. – Ladies and gentlemen, here are your 21st annual Canadian COTY category semifinalists.

Before we get to the winners, don't forget, these 14 winners now go on to the final voting where a final Car and Truck of the Year will be awarded at next February's Toronto auto show.

As usual, feel free to comment...

SMALL CAR (under $18k)
Toyota Corolla - My pick! (That's Toyota's Sandy DiFelice, right, accepting the award from AJAC President Clare Dear.)

SMALL CAR (over $18k)
Pontiac Vibe - My pick: Honda Fit is still more fun to drive and has more versatile rear seating.

FAMILY CAR ($22k-$30k)
Mazda6 - My pick: The Mazda has a trunk that could store Jonah's whale. But if you have kids, wouldn't you really have the fifth door and hyrbid-like 5.9L/100 km fuel economy of Volkswagen's Jetta clean diesel Wagon?

FAMILY CAR (over $30k)
Volkswagen Passat CC - My pick: Volvo V70 (save for the fantagorsmatic fuel economy, see Jetta Wagon, above.)

LUXURY CAR (under $50k)
Hyundai Genesis - My pick!

LUXURY CAR (over $50k)
Audi A4 - My pick: If you equate luxury with a roomy interior, attractive styling, a big engine and a quiet ride, it has to be the Lincoln.

PRESTIGE
BMW X6 - My pick: No other car here whispers success so succinctly than the Mercedes CL550 4Matic

SPORTS / PERFORMANCE (under $50k)
BMW 135i Coupé - My pick:  As a pure track weapon, the Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution rivals the nearly twice-as-expensive Nissan GT-R, also entered in this year’s COTY.

SPORTS / PERFORMANCE (over $50k)
Lexus IS F - My pick: Nissan GT-R (see evo, above.)

CONVERTIBLES
Audi TTS - My pick!

SUV / CUV (under $35k)
Subaru Forester - My pick!

SUV / CUV ($35k-$60k)
Ford Flex - My pick: The new Honda Pilot builds on the fundamental goodness of the original, adds oodles of refinement and the best combo of steering, ride and handling.

SUV / CUV (over $60k)
Mercedes-Benz M-Class BlueTEC - My pick!

PICK-UP
Dodge Ram - My pick!

2009 AJAC Testivus Festivus - Semifinalists to be announced this morning

NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, Ont. – Unlike the N.H.L.’s Stanley Cup playoffs, which can take over three months and 240 rounds of playoffs, the COTY playoff format is much shorter.

In this past week, 56 COTY entries will have been eliminated, leaving 14 category semifinalists to be announced this morning.

From there, we AJAC members vote yet again to determine what vehicles will eventually end up as the overall 2009 Car and Truck of the Year.

But wait a second: The final COTY winners don’t get announced until next February’s Toronto auto show.

Oops. My apologies to the N.H.L….

So while we all wait with bated breath for the category winners to be announced here at 10 am, here are my personal picks in red below from this year’s list of entrants.

Feel free to comment...

SMALL CAR (under $18k)
Chevrolet Aveo
Smart fortwo
Toyota Corolla

SMALL CAR (over $18k)
Honda Fit
Pontiac Vibe
Toyota Matrix

FAMILY CAR ($22k-$30k)
Chevrolet Malibu Hybrid
Hyundai Sonata
Kia Magentis
Mazda6
Volkswagen Jetta TDI Clean Diesel Wagon

FAMILY CAR (over $30k)
Mitsubishi Lancer Ralliart
Nissan Maxima
Pontiac G8  (V6)
Volkswagen Passat CC
Volvo V70

LUXURY CAR (under $50k)
Audi A3
Acura TL
Hyundai Genesis
Infiniti G37X Sedan
Saab 9-3 Sport Combi

LUXURY CAR (over $50k)
Acura RL
Audi A4
Lincoln MKS

PRESTIGE
BMW X6
Mercedes CL550 4Matic
Mercedes SL63 AMG

SPORTS / PERFORMANCE (under $50k)
Acura TSX
BMW 135i Coupé
Dodge Challenger
Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution
Subaru WRX STI

SPORTS / PERFORMANCE (over $50k)
BMW M3 Coupé
Cadillac CTS-V
Jaguar XF Supercharged
Lexus IS F
Mercedes-Benz C-Class
Nissan GT-R

CONVERTIBLES
Audi TTS
Mercedes-Benz SLK-Class
Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder

SUV / CUV (under $35k)
Dodge Journey
Subaru Forester
Volkswagen Tiguan

SUV / CUV ($35k-$60k)
Chevrolet Traverse
Chrysler Aspen Hybrid
Ford Flex
Honda Pilot
Kia Borrego
Nissan Murano
Toyota Sequoia

SUV / CUV (over $60k)
Chevrolet Tahoe Hybrid
Infiniti FX50
Lexus LX 570
Mercedes-Benz M-Class BlueTEC)

PICK-UP
Dodge Ram
Ford F150

2009 AJAC Testivus Festivus - How we do what we do

NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, Ont. – After, “Hey, your job sounds like fun. How do I get to drive new cars for free?”, “What do you guys do at Testivus Festivus for a week?” is the second most common question I get asked.

Let me tell you…

Each of the AJAC member journalists (almost 80 this year), is assigned three categories to test-drive and then judge. There has to be at least three cars to form a category. But some, like this year’s SUV/CUVs $35-60k with seven, have more.

Except for access on the makeshift Niagara airport racetrack and an off-road course for SUVs, COTY test drives are similar to what car buyers may experience at a dealership.

Most are urban and suburban drive routes in and around Niagara-on-the-Lake tailored to the typical driving environment for each category. Although, I noticed that the Prestige over $75,000 route doesn’t go by any banks…

Because of the number of journalists, combined with the number of cars, test drives are kept to a 30-40 minute range. Plus, COTY organizers like us to drive the cars in each category back-to-back. So all the cars in one category must be driven on the same day.

Journalists have between Monday and Wednesday to finish test-drives and then vote online.

That may seem like a lot of time. But take for example my case. I ended having to drive over 20 cars. Times 45 minutes in each car, er, you do the math…

Today, Thursday, is an open day for writers to write stories, photographers to take pictures and videographers, well, you get the point…

The interesting part will be tomorrow, Friday morning.

At 10 am, the 14 category winners get announced. Then, we all get to vote on the final COTY winner, which, BTW, won’t be announced until the Toronto auto show next February.)

However (and this is a big “however”) in order for us to vote on the final COTY by the end of Friday, each of us will have had to test-driven each of the 14 category winners this week.

For me, I’m eight cars short. Should make for some sharp elbows at the car key sign-out desks.

So now that you know what we do for a week here, do you think this event is valuable in the new car buying process?

Are you swayed if the vehicle you’re considering wins or loses its category?

How important is it to you to have a final, overall COTY winner?

2008 AJAC Testivus Festivus is a go!

NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, Ont. – Welcome to what some consider the Academy Awards of the Canadian automotive industry: AJAC’s annual Car of the Year event.

Also known as Test Fest, for one week every fall, members of the Automobile Journalists Association of Canada gather to vote on the Best New Vehicle in a gaggle of classes, as well as the overall Canadian Car and Truck of the Year.

For the past couple of years, the event’s been held on the roads around the town of Niagara-on-the-Lake and headquartered at the Niagara Drive Centre at the Niagara regional airport.

To some degree, this is the biggest Canadian automotive press event of the year.

This year, almost 80 auto scribes have shown up. Including, with the rest of the usual Wheels suspects, yours truly.

From the $155,500 2009 Mercedes-Benz SL63 AMG to the $17,123 2009 Smart ForTwo, seen above, there are 60 “new” vehicles this year spread over 14 categories ranging from Small Car under $18,000 to Pickups.

Of course, your idea of what’s considered a “new” car and what the marketing department of automakers sees as “new” differs.

According to AJAC, for COTY purposes, a vehicle must be entirely "brand new", or have major changes to at least two of : exterior bodywork, interior or powertrain.  A vehicle may also be considered if there are changes that "significantly alter the character of the vehicle."

Furthermore, a vehicle may be considered "all new" if it has an all-new powertrain type or configuration, e.g. gasoline to hybrid, hybrid mild to full or plug-in, gasoline to diesel, IC to electric, conventional fuel to hydrogen (not flex-fuel).

Whatever. In the end, you the car buyer, get to decide with your wallet.

In tomorrow’s Crank, I’ll give divulge more details on the nuts and bolts on how we journos come to our final conclusions.

Why the financial crisis will be good for new car buyers. Really.

Like after The Crash of 1929 and the Oil Crisis of 1973, there are—and will be—more casualties from the current as-yet-to-be-named global financial crisis.

Autoworkers, part manufacturers, dealers—and everyone that services these folks from the pizza delivery guy to the video rental store—will be affected.

That’s the cold reality.

But for those left over with enough dough to buy a new car, the current Darwinian readjustment in the economy will be good both now and in the future.

Let me explain.

In the short term,—and its already started—you’re going to see deals on new cars that only 60 says ago were pipe dreams for new car shoppers.

Granted, the leasing market for some makes has folded up like this year’s Toronto Argos. However some automakers have started to combine the magical formula of offering both low purchase financing AND cash backs. And more good news: we’re just coming up to the year-end blowout season.

Ka-ching!

Plus it’s not just those looking for new cars that will benefit. Never before has a certified pre-owned vehicle been a better buy.

Not only is the new car market in Canada catching the U.S. market's cold (contracting by 7.2 per cent in August), today, there is a record number of end-of-lease vehicles coming back to haunt new car dealers lots. Prices are falling. And for the first time in many cases, all the above mentioned incentives on new cars has started to trickle down to the used car market as well.

Although recent events have had some automakers saying "bankruptcy is not an option," that party line is sounding more like the baseball cliché of the manager getting a vote of confidence one day and being fired the next. With too much capacity, too many dealers and too many cars—for some automakers, the numbers just don’t add up.

No one really knows who or when. But it’s a jungle out there right now. Some stronger automakers will absorb some weaker ones. Some will disappear. It's inevitable, like snow in winter.

So trust me. The one thing you can count on in the long term: the age of crappy cars sold on cheap credit is over. Kaput. Gone.

And for new car buyers, that’s a good thing.

GM & Chrysler: Fuhgeddaboutit!

Both are bleeding red ink.

Both have too many cars and dealers and not enough customers.

In other words: the idea of a marriage between General Motors and Chrysler is a fantasy. A year ago? Maybe.But now with worldwide money markets unstable, until at least there’s new President in the White House in the New Year, just fuhgeddaboutit!

Here's a scenario, though, that's becoming more and more likely: the Chrysler we know today, independently selling Dodges, Chryslers and Jeeps, will not be the same company in twelve months.

In fact, it was never meant to.

By all indications, venture capitalists Cerberus Capital Management LP never bought Chrysler for the long term.

After Mercedes-Benz parent Daimler couldn’t find another automaker to take Chrysler off its hands, Cerberus swooped in August 2007 and paid a bargain-basement $7.2 billion, hoping for a “buy low, sell high” outcome.

In the venture capitalist world, it’s called “polishing the turd.”

But things haven't exactly gone the way Cerberus had hoped.

According to the Detroit News, though, the rapid deterioration in the American auto industry had Cerberus entertaining offers for Chrysler less than a year later. 

Still no takers.

Now it comes out that Cerberus has had the duly noted chats with GM and now Renault-Nissan. They've  had contacts with Fiat SpA of Italy and India's Tata Motors, a couple of automakers that, one would think, would love to get their hands on Chrysler’s North American dealer network.

After the news of the GM-Cerberus talks broke last Friday, Chrysler Chairman and CEO Bob Nardelli confirmed to employees Monday that the company was talking to potential partners.

"I can tell you that we have approached and have been approached by third parties who are interested in exploring future possibilities with Chrysler," he said in a note to employees.

So forget about a GM/Chryco marriage creating a competitor to rival Toyota as the largest automaking empire in the world.

The big news is that Cerberus unofficially has the FOR SALE sign out on the lawn of its Chrysler headquarters in suburban Detroit.

And so it begins…

[Source: Detroit News]

The General confirms North American micro car still a ways off

With automakers looking down the double barrels of high fuel prices and a constricted global economy, many are considering whether small vehicles previously reserved for Europe could also be marketed in North America.

Sales successes like the Mini Cooper, or Smart ForTwo have shown that a premium small car with an emphasis on fuel mileage and cool styling can be popular.

But not General Motors.

GM COO Fritz Henderson recently told Automotive News a North American micro car (such as its Chevrolet Beat, above) is not in the cards for now.

In a bad case of rationalization, Henderson thinks small-car buyers will be more than happy with compact cars the size of the Chevrolet Cobalt or subcompacts such as the Chevy Aveo.

So while bringing the Beat to our shores seems like a no-brainer, in reality, GM didn’t have the foresight to engineer the Beat to meet North American safety or crash standards.

We’ll have to wait until at least the next generation Beat, if ever.

Would you buy a Chevrolet Beat?

Or is GM right in thinking its just too small?

[Source: Automotive News]