Ten Worst First Date Cars

Those in the dating world are all too familiar with the old axiom, you can’t make a first impression twice. So while what you wear and how good your breath smells may be high on the to-do- list for that all-too-crucial First Date, the car you pull up in will also leave a lasting initial impression.

I can’t help you with your personal hygiene. But I can help your choice for a first date ride. If you want to make it on the dating playing field, let alone get to first-, second-, or third-base, do not pull up in front of your First Date’s home in one of these 10 lust killers:

10. 2010 BMW X6 Sports Activity Coupe Optimism is an important attitude to have in the dating world. Otherwise, you’d probably never leave your abode. But over-optimism can be deadly, too. And nothing screams “dirty weekend” to your First Date like BMW’s $65,700 - $99,900 X6.

Essentially a four-seat version of the more practical X5 SUV, the X6 was designed for those who only need occasional rear seating ,and enough cargo space for a pair of overnight bags—nudge, nudge, wink, wink…

9. 2011 Infiniti QX56 No one can account for taste. But showing up in the all-new-for-2011 $73,000 QX56 SUV would be the equivalent to a man wearing a plaid suit and white shoes; Rodney Dangerfield in the movie Caddyshack dressed better than the new Infiniti.

While the second-generation 2004 – 2010 QX didn’t win any automotive beauty contests, the new QX has reached new depths in tasteless styling. Based on Nissan’s foreign market Patrol, Infiniti designers have heavy-handedly forced styling cues from their sexy Essence show car onto the boxy Patrol's shape. The results? I’ll let you decide.

8. 2010 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution Unless your First Date is a former World Rally Championship participant, showing up in Mitsubishi’s $41,998 - $51,798 Lancer Evolution is only evidence of your aggressive nature, or your obsession with the Fast and Furious flicks.

Sure, you could spin the Evo’s sophisticated all-wheel-drive system as a “road safety” feature. But more than likely, after you’ve performed your first hand-brake turn while pulling into the local multiplex, your First Date will be asking for bus fare home.

7. 2010 Acura CSX I’ve been told sincerity is the key on these First Date adventures. Be honest—flaws and all—and (allegedly) the person you’re meeting for the first time will be appreciative. With that in mind, avoid arriving in Acura’s $27,490 - $29,990 CSX, one of the most pretentious cars you can buy.

A badge-engineered Honda Civic (the CSX is made in the same Alliston, Ontario plant), there’s little the Acura compact sedan offers that a well-equipped Civic EXL doesn’t for $22,680. Even if you try to explain to your First Date why you spent an extra $5k for the Acura badge, and not on a nicer bottle of wine, it’ll be tough to play down the inevitable “Pretentious Git” label coming your way.

6. 2010 Volkswagen Eos Unless you want to communicate to your First Date that you're suffering through a harrowing identity crisis, I’d take a pass on VW’s $36,575 - $44,575 Eos, a car trying to decide if it wants to be a coupe, a convertible, or both.

A perennial Chick Car winner since its debut in 2006, the Eos doesn’t work as a First Date car for either sex. If you’re a male looking for a female, you'd better be comfortable in your own sexuality. If you’re a female seeking a male, you better be prepared to defend the chick flick you’ve probably already suggested as the evening’s fare.

5. 2010 Hyundai Accent Hatchback

Although Hyundai Canada markets the Accent hatch (at $10,599 - $15,649, one of the least expensive new cars you can buy in Canada), as a “Smart” decision, you might as well get large vinyl letters and spell out the word C-H-E-A-P before you arrive for your First Date.

4. 2010 Smart ForTwo You may think the $14,990 - $21,250 ForTwo coupe and convertible would be fine First Date rides. Both work well as city cars. And unlike some of the other vehicles mentioned here, with only two seats, the Smart doesn’t telegraph your desire to repopulate the planet.

But because you and your First Date are literally elbow-to-elbow in the Smart’s tight interior, the intimate environment poses potential problems. Riding in the Smart is like watching close-ups of each other on a big screen HDTV. Your zits, hanging nose hairs, and unplucked eyebrows are all on display. Hey, you’ve been warned.

3. 2011 Toyota Sienna I’m picking the new-for-2011 $27,900 - $49,100 Sienna, mainly because it represents the cutting edge in the stagnant minivan genre. But for my purposes, any minivan is a First Date disaster.

Want to give your First Date the impression that you’re tied down with responsibilities? That you’ve just come out of a recent divorce? Or that you’re hoping your date goes so well that the two of you can populate all eight seats of the Sienna with your offspring? Er, thought not.

2. 2010 Buick Lucerne Unless you’re dating octogenarian actress Betty White, the $33,095 - $52,315 Lucerne creates two potential First Date conundrums.

First, the decrepit Buick says you’re probably old enough to be your date’s grandparent. Or perhaps, arriving in the Lucerne suggests that you’re still living with your grandparents, “borrowing” their set of wheels while they’re at bingo. Either way, good luck with the Lucerne.

1. 2010 Lexus HS250h Hybrid Don’t beat yourself up if you haven’t heard of the $39,900 - $48,750 HS250h. As the confusing blend of a European Toyota compact sedan (with less rear legroom than a half-the-price Corolla), powered by an almost-$10,000-cheaper Camry Hybrid powertrain, and awkward looks handed down from the Lexus RX SUV, the HS 250h has been a slow seller since its introduction last year.

Now unless your First Date is an auto industry analyst, who is interested in the reasoning why Toyota would foist such a strange car on the market, you’ll be spending your evening explaining the Whys and Hows of your purchase, instead of the deep glow of your First Date's deep blue eyes.

 

Comments

[Luke]

This is an absolutely TERRIBLE list.
Way to waste everyone's time with your ignorance, and arrogance.

[JT]

This seems more like a personal attack on these cars than an article based on anything else.

[Todd]

Great list. No self respecting male would be caught dead in any of these vehicles.

[Jason]

In my experience, most girls (not all) only know where the gasoline goes. If you need to use a car to attract/get a girl (driving a car that you still make payments on) then you are dating the wrong kind of girls my man.

[BL]

Your date will judge you, not your car.

[D]

This article is worse than those articles women read on how to do your hair to attract men.
Some of the cars in the list are crappy by nature, some are great. I'm sure no women interested in the date itself would look at the car as long as it's something reasonably decent.

[Len]

I concur with the rest of the posts. Of all the useless articles I've spent my time reading, this is right near the top (or bottom) of the list. And not one car in the list that I would let you park in my driveway!

[yoonsuk kim]

Please stop that stupid something 10 list series.

[G]

What a waste of a read. I'll be sure not to recommend the writer to go on any dates.

[Joe]

I'd take any of these cars over my 19 year old oil leaking Dodge Neon. It's not winning me many dates.

[Michael]

This is absolutely the most ridiculous article / list I have EVER encountered online.

Please use whatever talent you may have as a journalist to write something worth reading, because this is a waste of time. It's not funny, it's not witty, it's nothing.

[arun]

Whoever leaves bad comments on here are basically saying "I or someone I'm close to owns one of the those cars" lol

[David]

This list is full of FAIL

[alanauer]

Did you actually get paid for that piece?

[Shame On You]

What age are we living in? Do people still impress dates with what car they drive? You may need to trade in your personality, Dear Writer. You're not winning any decent dates with this one.

[hector]

I read this article for its entertainment value and received entertainment. I will smile when I see one of the mentioned cars on the road, remembering the pleasant read I had.

[Mike]

Wow, what a cranky bunch you all are. I did appreciate this "piece" for what it was- comedy.

Save the pretentiousness at the door. This is an article, not a "piece". Get over yourself. You reading The Star be because the dog peed on your Globe?

[RP]

Maybe John should have come up with a 10 Best first date cars instead?
Maybe Car and Driver has a copyright on '10 Best' so he's stuck doing 10 Worst?

Since I was on my first date a LONG time ago, the article doesn't have much relevance for me. But my first date car was in a 1978 Oldsmobile....

And if I was 16 again, the Lancer Evolution would be my pick of this list.

[Ms. Pamela]

Worst car to pick me up for a first date? A bright yellow mini-truck with HOME HARDWARE written all over it. He left it running in the driveway while he came to my door. I was not impressed.

[Iain]

Years ago, one of my friends bought my Mom's old two tone brown Pontiac Acadian (aka Chevette) as a winter beater... for $500! At the time, he was dating a Raptor's cheerleader! If you've got the attitude, you'll get dates and your ride will mean NOTHING.

[R Wilbert]

wonder what the author drives...

picked up my first date in a 1992 black Honda civic which had rust and white doors....survived medical school with that car and through it all, that first date became my wife.

Any person that goes by this "list" must live one sorry, insecure life which the reporter is trying to deflect on.

There was a time when this section had worthy articles.

[CG2 owner]

LMAO...seriously you consider yourself the Toronto Star journalist? This list is ridiculous. You pick on BMW, Infiniti and Mitsubishi? I cant believe you accuse Lancer Evo for being the worst car for a date. Dude, dont make an article based on your personal grudge on these cars. By the way if you really want to make an educational article, please go back to stats class and take some notes. Then make a survey from Star readers and present your research.

[Wufai]

I'm sure the author has driven all 10 vehicles on this list on his first dates. Otherwise he won't be able to comment from past experience? Sorry to hear about your bad experience.

[Chris Miller]

Some of the attacks on the cars may have been personal, but it just helps to figure out that the most hateful comments were from owners of the cars listed.
The CSX blurb had nothing to do with dating, and I'm betting the nastiest comments are from owners of that car.
On a side note, my friends and I actually have a rule not to date girls that drive a VW Eos.

[Stanley Roper]

John, you are the most arrogant piece of crap on the TorStar payroll. Here's I'm thinking cars like the Pontiac 6000 and Le Car were going to be mentioned and you talk about Infiniti's, BMW's and Lexus's? I do agree with #'s 3 & 4, but your article is waste of english letters. Do yourself a favour and come off that throne of yours and join the rest of human civilization.