Online Q&A: Special ed

Thanks for joining today's forum on special education with Christopher Carew of the Learning Disabilities Association of Ontario. Due to the high volume of questions, Carew and the learning disabilities association will be the experts for next Tuesday's forum and will respond then to any questions that went unanswered today.

At that time, we'll also post answers to the many autism-related questions we received, thanks to expert Marg Spoelstra, executive director of Autism Society Ontario.

If you have any ideas for future topics or experts, please contact education editor Kristin Rushowy at krushowy@thestar.ca. 

Q: My older son (age 11) is currently enrolled in a special education program in Hastings & Prince Edward District School Board, and has been now for three years. He has been repeatedly "suspended" from school for inappropriate behaviour and/or language, but always (conveniently) for less than three full days - therefore not appeal-able. He is mentally disabled, and has been diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder. Many of his "behaviours" are due directly or indirectly to his disability. The Safe Schools Act, as I am sure you are familiar, seems to be targeting children like my son. If special needs students are "different" enough to be eligible for a special education (IEP), then why are they subject to the exact same rules as all the other children in the school system?

A: Your concerns regarding your son's unique needs and the suspensions he has received because of his behaviour are very valid. Similar objections about the use of the Safe Schools Act to respond to behavioural difficulties of exceptional students have been voiced by many individuals and groups, including LDAO and its members. The government has identified safety in Ontario schools and the implementation of the Safe Schools Act as a major priority. It has undertaken a review of the act and recently announced the release of a discussion paper. The paper is available on the Ministry of Education website.

In the launch of public consultations on Nov. 23 of this year, Education Minister Gerard Kennedy provided a summary of the statistics regarding suspensions for the school year 2003-4. He stated that a total of 152,626 students (or 7.2 per cent of the total student population) were suspended. Of those, 27,250, or 18 per cent, of suspended students were students with exceptionalities - accounting for 8.8 per cent of all exceptional students.

Liz Sandals, parliamentary assistant to Minister of Community Safety and Correctional Services Monte Kwinter, is the leader of the action team of safety experts who are implementing the Safe Schools Action plan. She stated that "data shows that some groups, including boys and students with exceptionalities may be impacted by the act in greater numbers than the rest of the student population." Additionally, the executive director of LDA York Region, an expert on school safety, with particular knowledge of special education, has been added to the team and will most ably reflect the needs of exceptional students in this review.

This acknowledgement of the needs of special education students with regard to the Safe Schools Act is a positive development.

Q: My daughter will be starting high school next year. My question is should she get an IEP? She has been at a private school for her elementary years and has needed extra help with certain subjects (math, language) but has never had an IEP. Some have told me not to as it will prevent her from going into the academic strain and not allow her to be in the computer laptop program which I think would help her to stay organized. We had her assessed in Grade 3 and in Grade 6. She has been identified as having a visual perceptual nonverbal LD. Thank you.

A: If your daughter is going back into the public school system, an IEP could provide information on the accommodations she needs in order for her to be successful at the academic level. Many students with learning disabilities take academic level courses and go on to postsecondary studies, but they require accommodations such as the use of assistive technologies throughout their high school, college and/or university careers. There should be no reason why she would be excluded from a computer laptop program. You may wish to refer to a document on LDAO's website entitled "Transition Planning Resource Guide for Students with Learning Disabilities".

Q: My son has been in spec ed since public school. He finished the Grade 10 applied program with a 46 per cent average and was recommended for the 'target program' in Grade 11 in high school in Aurora. His final average in Grade 11 was 75 per cent. His first semester marks this year (Grade 12) are 73 in small business mgmt., 87 per cent in hospitality, 56 per cent in English and 47 per cent in math. He would like to transfer out of the target program and go back into the applied program and is willing to return next year to bring up his marks and obtain Grade 12 credits in applied, but has been told that he can not transfer to applied out of target program. He's been advised that the only way he can transfer into applied program is to leave that school and go to another school?! Is this true? This does not make any sense to me. Why 'punish' a child and make it difficult for them when they've had a change in attitude and have decided to go 'further' in their education?

A: If the applied program is available in your son’s school, I know of no reason, other than possible school administrative reasons, for him to have to change schools. I would suggest contacting our Learning Disabilities Association chapter located in York Region to find out what they understand about the local situation or environment: (905) 884-7933 or by e-mail at info@ldayr.org.

Q: My son is eight years old and in Grade 3. Up until now he has had good marks - B's and A's. This year his teacher said he will be getting C's in reading and writing. He has ADD and takes Concerta. He reverses letters and numbers. His work is messy and spelling terrible. I am in the process of setting up testing for dyslexia. But I am told he is not "bad enough" to get extra help other than extra time and charts to copy. Some resource teacher time may be available for him if he does have dyslexia or another LD, but I am told she doesn't have much room left, and I am in a scramble to have testing done asap to get him on the list.

This doesn't make sense to me. Why wouldn't they put in the effort and training for him now and not have him fall behind later? I am considering private tutoring. Have you got any websites/books I should be reading? We are in the Upper Grand District School Board.

A: LDAO strongly believes in early intervention for kids with learning difficulties. A psychoeducational assessment should determine your son’s learning strengths and weaknesses, and the best ways for him to be taught. In the meantime though, there are now specialist teachers for literacy and numeracy instruction in all school boards. You could ask for information on what programs funded by the Literacy and Numeracy Secretariat are available in your school. These programs are not restricted to students identified with special learning needs. LDAO’s Access website is an excellent resource for parents.  Although password protected, the parents and professionals can access information for free.

Q: I would like Mr. Carew to discuss ADHD fraud. There appears to be an "epidemic" of ADHD diagnosis in Ontario. Some psychometrists are conducting psychological testing in the guise of aptitude testing without the oversight of a psychiatrist or psychologist.

A: Communicating a diagnosis is a controlled act under provincial legislation, and in the case of learning disabilities or ADHD must be done by a qualified member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons or the College of Psychologists.

The college(s) provide a systematic process for ensuring all complaints and challenges are handled through their reporting system and reviewed by the discipline committee, however, the actual number of complaints relating to the nature of your question is not known by LDAO. I would suggest a multi-disciplinary team-based approach to ensure completeness and appropriateness when considering issues related to diagnosis.

Q: I have two sons who are diagnosed with dual exceptionalities (gifted/learning disabled). My oldest received absolutely fantastic programming through elementary, middle school, and so far in his first year of high school. There were some teachers who tended to shame him, but most were compassionate and creative in their dealing with him. My youngest son has a team of professionals who will not accept his disability. Any difficulties that he encounters (reading, writing, attention, organization, impulsivity, etc.) is continually attributed to character deficits and behaviour and manipulation. If I try to intervene, I am treated like an overprotective, unrealistic mom.

We have been referred to various professionals over the years for assessment of his anxiety and all came back confirming that it is school-related. Yet, staff tries to make him look pathological. These teachers are very reluctant to implement rountine strategies to help him cope. He receives all kinds of negative feedback in verbal and written format and getting more stressed as the curriculum advances. He is extremely successful outside of school and very popular with peers. He has had a few suspensions over the years, usually a result of accumulating anxiety that he can no longer handle. Once, two weeks prior to an episode, I phoned the school psychologist to inform her that he was "ready to explode" and never received a return call! He suffers from headaches, stomach aches, sleep deprivation, and cries easily. So, my questions are:

1)Can you recommend a reference that would help teachers understand the gifted/LD profile? How about one for the emotional ramifications of LD?

2) Why are teachers so uninformed? Is graduate coursework required in this area within Ontario?

3)What can I do to help my son cope? We are spending hours on homework and end up yelling or crying because he cannot meet the time criteria for completion. If he does not, he receives more negative feedback. HELP!!!

A: It is good to hear about the compassionate, caring teachers, as we so often hear about situations like that of your younger son. Kids who are gifted and have LD can become very frustrated, especially if they have problems with written output, and thus can be challenging for teachers. Teachers may only see the behaviours and not the underlying reasons for the behaviours. The school should be listening to you as the parent, but I wonder if they would listen better to a professional who knows your son. Have you tried calling a case conference (problem-solving) meeting and inviting an outside professional to attend?

1) LDAO does have articles on gifted LD and on emotional ramifications of LDs which you could obtain by contacting resource@ldao.ca and requesting this information. You may also wish look for articles and resources on the following American websites:
http://www.schwablearning.org/ 
http://www.allkindsofminds.org/   
http://www.ricklavoie.com/
LDAO’s Access website is also available.

2) There is relatively little taught about special education in many pre-service teacher education programs. There are no required courses on special education. Teachers may take additional qualification courses on special education through Faculties of Education throughout the province. These courses are usually required for special education positions but not for teachers in other classes or programs.

3) It sounds as if your son needs to have appropriate accommodations in his IEP, such as use of a word processor to do all his written work or other assistive technologies, and perhaps fewer questions to complete in assignments if he can demonstrate that he understands the concepts. You could discuss these issues at a case conference as suggested above. 

Q: My daughter has low muscle tone, which has delayed her speech, and is developmentally delayed. She is currently in a regular Grade 2 class with .5 educational assistant support. She is a wonderful girl with many friends, she is very caring and gentle and loves to help. She receives no speech therapy through the school system and I feel that she would benefit so much if she did receive therapy through the school along with what we do at home.

Are there any quicker routes that I could take to get what she needs to make schooling easier for her? She works with a voice communicator at school but it is very slow and she is beyond it. Please help me understand what it takes to get full EA support, I work so hard to give her every opportunity to achieve her goals and need every input that I can get.

A: I’m afraid that we do not have expertise on appropriate supports for students with developmental disabilities. You would probably be best to contact your local Association for Community Living.

Q: My daughter is three years old and she was not a full-term baby (born at only seven months). She is doing perfectly okay other than having difficulty to speak like a normal three-year-old baby. She is speaking very few words when it is necessary for her to speak - like when she is mad and angry or happy. I am very worried about her being in school next year because it is very difficult for her to accomplish her education or to communicate with others. As I am a mother, I understand what she is trying to say and I have the patience to wait for her to respond and I do understand that in school they won't be waiting for her to answer questions. I fear for her future and I need your advice and help to guide my daughter in an appropriate ways. Can you please kindly suggest me any alternative path to get me to help her in school? Thank you for your time.

A: There are preschool speech and language services which provide assessment and treatment for preschoolers who need help with language development. Children may receive services through this program from birth until October of the year they reach the age at which children start senior kindergarten. You can find your local contact online or call the INFOline at 1-800-268-1154. LDAO’s Access website is also an excellent resource for parents.

Q: As a retired special education resource teacher (15 years), my question is when is the government going to realize that the EQAO, etc. scores will NOT improve until we allocate extra assistance to the needy children in the regular classrooms? These children have potential, but because of class sizes they are the lowest on the totem pole. A few years ago we had to do reams of paperwork for ISA funding, that was to provide funding for LD, etc. I believe that the government has never paid all that out to the boards, even after our board for example, was audited 100 per cent. If it has been paid out it is not getting to the children who need it most. Unfortunately, powers that be, whether in administration, in government, do not realize the immensity of the needs in the classroom - and I'm sorry differentiated instruction does not cut it when you have children operating at 5 different grade levels in a classroom. How can we turn this around?

A: This is a complex question with no simple answer. The Ministry of Education has laid out a strategy for supporting students and improving EQAO scores. The formation of the Literacy and Numeracy Secretariat and the hiring of literacy and numeracy teachers in each school is an example of this. The Ministry of Education is also reviewing the ISA funding procedures to find ways to better allocate and use monies provided to support students with special needs.

As a non-governmental agency, LDAO can only make recommendations to the government about proposed changes. You may wish to contact your local Member of Provincial Parliament or the Ministry of Education directly to voice your concerns.

Q: Why does the Ministry of Education not appear to have any standards or curriculum requirements for developmentally disabled students at the secondary school level? This has resulted in students in York Region being fed a mind-numbing schedule of "community field trips" to McDonalds restaurants, shopping malls, grocery stores and other restaurants, with no teaching at their level about history, science or social studies. The York Region board also requires 14-year-old developmentally disabled students to be sent out on work placements, which is not something that most parents would approve of for their non-disabled children.

A: For any child identified with an exceptionality, the goal is to create a personalized approach to their learning through the development and maintenance of an Individual Education Plan (IEP).  Instead of creating another, “one-size-fits-all” curriculum, the goal is to customize a plan that reflects the child’s strengths, needs and goals.

In regards to your particular situation, I’m afraid that we do not have expertise on appropriate supports for students with developmental disabilities. You would probably be best to contact your local Association for Community Living in York Region.

Q: My son, almost five years old, presently in SK ... missed out on JK last year ... has "behavioural issues" ... He has not been formally diagnosed with anything as of yet, the school board is pressing to have a diagnosis ... I believe he will have an actual diagnosis in the coming months ... Is it not enough for the school board's behaviour team to note the problematic behaviours for the board to receive funding? For example, a child exhibiting certain traits/mannerisms/behaviours may be diagnosed as either autistic, ADHD, pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified, Aspergers., etc ...

If there are several people that agree on basic observations of the child (ie the parents, the teacher/E.A., Resource Teacher, the daycare staff, pediatrician), why is that not enough for the school board? I do not want a premature diagnosis, I want one that most suits my son's situation ... I am not in denial that he has "issues" ... Any information on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

A: I can understand your concern about a premature diagnosis, and four years of age is early to make long-term predictions. The Minister of Education has indicated that the upcoming changes in the funding model for special education will not rely on diagnosis in the same way as the previous Intensive Support Amount (ISA) process did. In the meantime, your son can be identified for special education services without a diagnosis, and an Individual Education Plan set up to meet his special education needs. The school board is required to meet those special education needs with the funding that it receives for special education purposes. You can speak with the special education staff at your child’s school/school board to make this request.

Q: My daughter, now in Grade 6 and 11 years old, was identified in Grade 1 as having a learning disability that affects her memory. I have had no complaints about the special ed services available through the public school system - that is until this year. She, while learning disabled, has no behavioral problems and I am very frustrated that this year it seems that in her special ed class - which she spends half the day at - that the teacher spends all their time dealing with the problem children and my daughter seems to not be getting much from it. I have been told that this is my only resource available at the school, however I wonder what the logic is in lumping all children with learning difficulties together as I cannot see how this method of teaching does anything other than keep the problem children segregated from the regular class?

A: All school boards should have a range of placements available to students identified as needing special education. Many students with learning disabilities are placed in a regular class but go out for part of the day for specific remedial instruction with a special education teacher, usually in a small group. This placement is called regular class with withdrawal assistance. If more than 50 per cent of the day is spent in a special education class, the placement is called special education class with partial integration.

If the placement decision is for a self-contained special education class, it is important to find out what kind of class it is. Classes for students with severe learning disabilities are only supposed to have eight students, and they should all be students whose primary identification is learning disabilities. Unfortunately, some school boards only offer mixed exceptionality classes that can contain up to 16 students. Such classes are seldom appropriate placements for students with learning disabilities.

Whatever your daughter’s placement, the most important consideration is the way she is being taught, i.e. an individualized approach based on her assessed strengths and weaknesses. LDAO’s Access website is also an excellent resource for parents. Although password protected, parents and professionals can access information for free.The categories for resources are: resources, community, learning and youth.

Q: My son is very close to being considered gifted. I truly feel that if there was more than a 1 1/2 hour test to see if a child was gifted that the result would be different as it takes much longer to know someone. Anyways, my son needs a higher level of learning and is not having a good relationship with the children in his grade level. He either cannot speak to them because they do not understand what he is speaking about or he gets frustrated with their behaviour.

He has been tested for ADHD and does not have that condition yet he does seem to get frustrated a lot lately. I have considered home schooling him since I cannot afford private education ... Any advice would be appreciated.

A: No one understands a child like a parent, and it is painful to see talents or gifts that are evident at home go unseen or unrecognized at school. Students of all types can have trouble relating to their age-peers – gifted students, students with LDs, and especially students who fit the “gifted LD” profile.

Did your son have a full psychoeducational assessment, or just a screening test for the gifted program? A psychoeducational assessment would give information on his pattern of strengths and weaknesses, and could also look at social/emotional issues such as self-esteem.

Do you find that your son relates better to older kids? You might try to find an activity program in his area of interest where he could have a chance to communicate with other kids with similar interests. If he is an independent learner, you could check to see if there are any alternative programs in your board. If you do choose to home school, it would be good to belong to a network of home-schooling parents, and ideally have opportunities for social interaction among the kids.

Q: My youngest son has learning disabilities ranging from reading at lower than grade level (in Grade 9, reads about Grade 5-6) and long- and short-term memory problems as well. In elementary school the kids are offered modified classes - significantly so - in many cases - yet when they go to high school they are expected to manage with virtually no modifications at all. It is a nightmare with the kids left unable to cope.

My son's problems are not severe enough to warrant classes such as multiple exceptionalities, yet really he cannot handle the workload in classes such as geography and science that are not offered at essential levels. These kids are not eligible for programs such as OYAP either as their courses are not all at academic or general levels. It just seems they are basically abandoned by the system once they start high school and shut out of the types of programs that could benefit them.

Any advice would be very much appreciated. Are there better programs, services out there for these higher functioning, yet still learning disabled, kids once they hit high school and beyond? High schools will modify courses to a point but the kids can be left with half credits and shut out of opinions to an even greater extent long after high school if that approach is taken. As bad as elementary school can be for the learning disabled, high school is far worse.

A: High school can be a difficult time for students with learning disabilities (LDs) unless they get the appropriate training in strategies and the accommodations they need to access the curriculum. Starting in intermediate grades, students with LDs can be using assistive technologies such as word processors and books in alternative formats, so that they can work on grade level curriculum (as long as they can understand the concepts).

If you are feeling like your son has been abandoned by the school system, something is not right, perhaps a miscommunication. Students identified as LD are entitled to appropriate accommodations throughout their high school career.

If your son has had a recent psychoeducational assessment it would be good to check with the psychologist or psychological associate who did the assessment to see what level of courses he could be expected to handle, and what accommodations would be most beneficial. If, even with accommodations, he is not able to cope with applied level courses, you could talk to the teacher in your son’s school who works with the Student Success program, to find out about options for workplace preparation.

Online Q&A: Bullying in schools

Thanks for joining us for today's online Q & A on bullying in schools, featuring Wendy Craig of the Canadian Initiative for the Prevention of Bullying. Next Tuesday's topic is special education with experts from the Learning Disabilities Association of Ontario.

Q: My son has learned how to deal with bullying at school with students, but not with teachers or parents of other kids. Any advice on how to "respect your elders," but not cowtail to adults doing the bullying? It is shameful in my opinion, but strategies are still needed.

A: When adults bully children it is a serious problem. This is definitely a case where your child needs you to intervene and stand up for them. There is a power imbalance in this relationship, an adult and a child, and you need to come in and right the power imbalance.

Parents are the best advocates for their children. If this is happening at school, you need to work with the school principal and inform him/her of the situation. Togther you need to make a plan to address the problem - i.e., the principal should speak to the adult involved, the principal should monitor the situation every day until it has fully stopped and then keep monitoring it to ensure that it does not start again.

If the problem is with another parent, I would also involve the principal. S/he can act as a mediator. The principal likely has a vast amount of experience in working with parents. In this case, the principal should ensure that this parent does not interact with your child on school property. It is your job to make sure they do not interact at home or in the neighbourhood. If they do, you need to identify for this parent when their behaviour is inappropriate and that you expect them to stop talking or interacting with your child in this way. If that does not work, unfortunately it is time to call in the police. They typically have community police officers who deal with this type of issue.

Q: What kind of support groups are there within the schools today for children who are bullies? How can a child living in fear of bullies be encouraged to speak up?

A: The type of support for children who bully varies by school and the programming that has been prioritized within a school. Typically, each board has special services and in some boards there are dedicated individuals within these services who specifically work with children involved in bullying - that is something you could check with your school about. We do need a more systematic approach to the problem and Ontario is starting to move in that direction. Let's hope that this progress continues so that these children can get the support they so deserve.

Q: What kind of behaviour should parents look for in a child, if the child is a bully or a victim of bully?

A: Children and youth who bully may show behaviours or emotional signs that they are using power aggressively. They show little concern for others’ feelings and do not recognize the impact of their behaviour on others. They are often aggressive with siblings, parents and others, and are bossy and manipulative in order to get their own way. Parent should be on the lookout - they often possess unexplained things and/or have extra money and are secretive about possessions, activities and whereabouts.

Children and youth who are being victimized often show a change in behaviour and/or emotions. They don't want to go to school, and are anxious, fearful and overreactive. They'll often suffer from headaches and stomach aches. They'll also have a lower interest in performance at school. They may lose things, need money or be hungry after school. Parents should be on the lookout for any injuries - bruising, damaged clothing, broken things. Emotionally, bullying victims are often unhappy, irritable, and show little interest in activities. They may have trouble sleeping, suffer from nightmares or wet the bed. Some even express threats to hurt themselves or others.

Q: Why do kids become bullies?

A: This is a challenging question and there is no one factor that leads children to bully others. There are a mix of family, peer, school, and individual factors that could be involved. Children who bully others are not all the same - some come from families where there is significant stress (financial, single parenting, low income, family criminality) and difficulties within these family relationships (lack of trust, lack of communication, modelling of aggression). Others do not come from these types of families, but rather are rewarded within their peer group for being aggressive.

Some children have difficulty interacting with other children maybe because they are hyperactive or lack social skills; sometimes they bully for the attention it brings them and as a way of getting in with peers. Some children who bully have well-developed social skills and use their social skills to manipulate others. Sometimes, children who would not normally bully are at a school where the rules are not consistently reinforced and so sometimes when they bully others there are no consequences so they come to believe it is okay to engage in these very negative behaviours.

As you can tell, bullying is a very complicated issue. It is a relationship problem that requires relationship solutions. We need to provide students with a strong foundation of skills, capabilities and competencies to engage in healthy relationships. They need support at home, at school, and in the community and they need the support and guidance from adults who can promote and models these skills for them.

Q: How can bullying go on for so long (as the recent case at the Toronto high school)? Don't they know what is going on?

A: It is tragic that the bullying went on for so long without detection from adults or without other students reporting what was happening. Sadly, this is not uncommon. Students tend to have a code of secrecy around bullying - they are reluctant to tell adults - for fear of reprisal, for fear of the reputation of being called a rat, for fear that they will be the next victim. We as adults need to create a climate where students feel comfortable talking about these horrific acts and we as adults need to respond to students when they do tell - it is not helpful to say that is "students just being students."

The adults need to support and ensure the child who is being victimized is safe and ensure it does not happen again by regularly monitoring and checking in with the student. In addition, we need to empower the students who know but do not tell by changing the peer culture to a culture that values protecting each other’s rights. We know that when peers intervene in bullying, it stops the bullying within 10 seconds every second time - so they are effective when they intervene. We also know from the research that telling adults reduces children’s experiences of being victimized in the future: Telling works. Adults need to be educated on what signs to observe for bullying, they need to learn effective assessment and intervention strategies, and we need to empower the other students to get help for children who are victimized.

Q: Many of the initiatives of the "Canadian Initiative for the Prevention of Bullying" are union-sponsored. How can you justify the action of unions (particularly when on picket lines) with any initiative to prevent bullying? Union bullying of both members and non-members approaches extortion. The one thing children do not miss is adults saying one thing and doing another.

A: I agree that adults are extremely important role models for children and children learn how to address conflict and deal with anger from adults. The CIPB believes that children’s positive peer relationships depend on positive relationships with adults. Teachers, parents, and other adults involved in children’s lives not only model relationship skills and attitudes, but they are also active in creating contexts in which children and youth interact. Children will only learn positive relationship skills and attitudes if they observe and interact with adults who exemplify these elements of positive relationships in their interactions with children and with other adults.

The CIPB is creating partnerships to link researchers together with organizations and governments to disseminate understanding, assessment tools and effective practices related to bullying to every community in Canada. The CIPB involves the collaboration of two groups with research and applied expertise related to bullying. The first group comprises Canadian researchers committed to studying the nature, causes, and consequences of bullying and victimization, along with the most effective measures and interventions to effect positive change. The second group comprises stakeholders in promoting the healthy development of Canadian children and youth: national non-governmental organizations (NGOs) and government ministries. The partnerships are essential because they will ensure that the child playing in the park in Victoria and the child in the park in Goose Bay will be given the same information about bullying and the interventions to address bullying problems will be similar and based on what we know from the research. It is our hope that the organizations that we have partnered with will also on an organization level implement and think about the information we provide in guiding their own day-to-day interactions.

Q: My stepson was bullied his entire time in grade school by one small group of kids. It was pointed out on a monthly basis, but the school system seemed to be apathetic to his plight. He is now 23 and still shows signs of how this most likely has scarred him for good. Can he be helped at this point?

A: He likely needs some professional support to work through the trauma that he experienced at the hands of children who bullied him. Unfortunately, there are serious long-term effects of being victimized and we need to support those individuals early to prevent these long-term problems. It is not uncommon for children who experience regular and frequent bullying to have anxiety, depression, and social withdrawal when they get older. The important thing is to get your son the help that will allow him to overcome these terrifying childhood experiences. With ongoing support from a professional, and you his family, he will be able to do that.

Q: I am wondering if it is the "norm" for me to take a principal's word for it that a disruptive child is "being dealt with"? My daughter has been harassed on a number of occasions this school year by a classmate, the last two times the physical aggression has gotten worse. I was told by the principal that they are in the process of finding out how to handle this girl.

I have gotten to the point, and am standing firm, that my daughter will not return unless she can be transferred to another class. The whole thing is getting out of hand, I believe it is not being taken too seriously because of their ages. They are only in Grade 2. There is a history of some problems going on in the girl's family; I can fully understand why she would be acting out. My priority is my daughter who is fearful and feels unsafe now at school. When I push to see if there really is anything being done I am left with the "confidentiality of the student" card being played by the principal. Is it true that all means of discipline are left in the principal's hands?

A: The principal is ultimately responsible at the school to ensure that every child is safe. If you are not satisfied with the way the principal is handling the problem at your school, I would recommend to meet with them. While acknowledging that they may be delaing with the who child is being aggressive, I would clearly state that your child does not feel safe and ask what are they going to do to address that problem - changing classes is one solution. In addition, I would suggest having an adult that your child feels comfortable with checking in with your child every day.

Furthermore, it may be important to identify what are the times that are particularly scary or stressful for your child. Is it at recess? Is it in the classroom? If it is while they are outside and where there is less supervision, work with the school to make a plan to ensure your child is safe - have them assign a recess buddy, or maybe she would feel more comfortable being inside (have them arrange for her to go to the library or go to the office to help out). Work with them creatively to ensure your child feels safe. It is not enough for schools to ONLY work with the aggressors - they need to work actively to support the child is is being victimized and that requires checking in with them, monitoring the situation, and constantly accessing whether they are okay. If you find the school is not co-operative and you are unable to work withthem, then work your way up the channels of the board - call the board, your trustee, your school superintendent. It is your child’s right to feel safe and protected at school. As a parent, advocating for your child is one of the many roles that you take on.

Q: I don't think bullying will ever stop to exist or become less of a problem in a free and morally slacking society such as ours. The survival guide in high school is the same today as 20 years ago - choose your friends wisely, stay with the good crowd, and keep the group as big as you can.

A: You are right it is difficult to end the problems of bullying completely, BUT we can decrease the prevalence of the problem and reduce the stress and anxiety and the problems for a significant number of children. Other countries with a national compaign, such as Norway, have been successful at reducing the prevalence of bullying.

Interestingly, the prevalence of bullying has not changed over the last 10 years, but Canada’s relative ranking has. In other words, other countries have been more successful at reducing the problem then Canada. These data indicate that it is possible to reduce the prevlance, but right now Canada needs to do more and do a better job.

Q: At what age does bullying begin? At my daughter's nursery school there are a couple of boys I would say act like bullies sometimes; we've even seen one in the local park and his behaviour towards my daughter has been "aggressive" in nature (trying to scare her, push her off things). Can a child that young (3,4,5) be a bully or be bullied? What to do?

A: Yes, bullying starts early. In fact, children are most aggressive when they are two years of age - they learn not to be aggressive with age and as adults set boundaries with their behaviours. When children are young they are just learning how to interact socially in a positive manner; they are learning to regulate their emotions, and they are learning how to be prosocial. So at a young age, it is particularly important to intervene in the behaviour. It is through that feedback that children will learn what behaviours are acceptable and what are not. They need support in behaving differently; in other words, it is not enough to say "stop doing that." We need to tell children what to do or give them the words they need to say - "I am angry, I want you to stop." You can work with your child in scripting the language and the behaviour to help them when it happens. They also need you to step in and let the other child know that this behaviour is not okay. Similiarly, you can script the language for them to help them behave differently in the situation.

Q: Studies indicate that bullying and sexual harassment happen most frequently where levels of adult supervision are lowest (school buses, locker rooms, hallways, playgrounds).

An Ontario Association of Children's Aid Societies reference document states: "Any person having charge of a child, less than 16 years of age, must make reasonable provision for the child's supervision and care, ensuring thec hild is free from physical or sexual harm."

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, Article 3.3, reads: "States Parties shall ensure that the institutions, services and facilities responsible for the care or protection of children shall conform with the standards established by competent authorities, particularly in the areas of safety, health, in the number and suitability of their staff, as well as competent supervision."

Are Ontario schools meeting their obligation to adequately protect our children from physical and sexual harm? What can schools do better?

A: These are references that I frequently quote and are very important principles to uphold and aim for. I think we all, as adults, need to do better to keep our children safe and ensure that their human rights are protected. Ontario is beginning to address bullying problems in a much more systemic manner that is based on what we know from the science about bullying; that is a good first step. It is a long road.

We need to ensure that all educators understand what bullying is and recognize that it has harmful effects. All educators need to assess the extent of bullying problems systematically, as well as by checking in with children who might be at risk for involvment in bullying. In addition, they need to be trained on what works when intervening in bullying problems- again both through programs and in moment-to-moment interactions with children. So what we need to do is push the policies within the ministry to more adequately address bullying problems and then evaluate the extent to which our schools are taking up the policies.

Further, adults are role models and leaders in addressing bullying. Students learn from their educators and educators need to ensure they behave appropriately. They also need to listen to students who report being victimized, and support and validate that student's feelings and experiences. Bullying is a serious problem that needs to be taken serious by all adults. Finally, adults are required to right the power imbalance in bullying and therefore must respond. Our data indicate that children who tell adults are much less likely to reduce their victimization experiences. So despite students' perspectives that we cannot help (which our data also say), we can if we respond.

Q: There was/is bullying going on at my son's school. His Grade 3 peers kept at him, calling him a thief and taking his things, until it escalated to "playful threats" to cut him and dismember him. The principal says there's no bullying going on at his school. Is this average?

A: Sadly, some adults do not recognize and identify behaviours as bullying - they see it as kids just being kids. What you have described is definitely bullying: it happened on many occasions, it was with an intent to harm, and the child who bullied your son had more power over him. Adult support and involvement is critical to helping prevent bullying problems. We need to recognize bullying problems, respond to them, and address them, and ensure they stop in the future. Students depend on adults for this type of leadership. In addition, if we do not act as adults, we are saying the behaviour is okay, which it is definitely not. I would work the principal and ask him what he/she is going to do to ensure that the behaviour stops and how he will ensure that it will not start up again.

Q: I thought you might like this website ... you probably already know of it: the Bullying Awareness Network. Also, will you be commmenting on the fact that bullies often continue their behaviour as adults and there is the whole topic of bullying in the workplace. How do you teach compassion and empathy? Do bullies see these traits at home? My son does. Thanks.

A: Bullying is a relationship problem that starts early and for some children continues throughout life. Children who bully regularly and frequently in elementary school are at risk for engaging in sexual harassment, date violence, and criminal activity and arrest.  There are a group of children who do bully but do not experience these negative outcomes - it is likely they are the ones bullying in the workplace. There is limited research on bullying in the workplace, mostly because individuals for years considered it to be a childhood issue.

Empathy and compassion are important skills for developing relationships - so, yes, they are important in building and teaching to children who bully. But it is not enough, we need to teach these children and youth many things about healthy relationships - those are two important aspects. For some children who bully regularly and frequently, they come from homes that experience high levels of stress whether it be unemployment, an aggressive parent, single-parent family, a parent with a psychiatric problem or financial concerns.

Online Q&A: Post-secondary advice

Thanks for joining us for today's online Q&A on college and university decisions with guest expert Diane Gooch, who's in student recruitment at Centennial College and has an extensive background in career counselling and preparing high school students for post-secondary education.

Join us for our next forum on bullying in schools. We'll take your questions starting Friday.

If you have any ideas for future topics or experts for our weekly forums, please contact education editor Kristin Rushowy at krushowy@thestar.ca.

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Q: Hi, I'm a Grade 12 student, I have an image of what I want to do in the future, but I am unclear about how to put it together within a "higher education" setting. I want to make sure that the decision I make by January/06 is one that I can, a) live with, and b) be flexible with. I want to combine a few things that I am REALLY good in and that I love: exercise science, acting, and sailing. I want to study exercise science and acting so that I can combine both of these areas and work in a television environment. Another alternative is to combine excercise science and my passion for sailing (plus a bit of business administration)and possibly work for a yacht club (?). I can visualize myself clearly doing all the things I am passionate about but don't know which universities will allow me to combine them and offer me a proper degree (maybe even a dual degree) that will be acceptable in the real world out there. Please help me give my self a realistic direction which will reduce my feelings of anxiety. My decision will affect the rest of my life and I want it to do so in a positive way.

A: The best way to make sure that you make a decision that you live with, is to make sure that you make an informed decision. That is to say you need to carry out your research, and have one or more back-up plans. It is great that you know what you are good at and what you love to do, so many people are not at that stage. What you need to do now is consider why you are good at those things and what it is about them that you 'love.' We often make decisions based on our own exposure to something and for some, that may be a limited area. Once you see what it is you like about something; maybe it is the way it makes you feel, either physically or emotionally, the challenge or dealing with the 'unknown,' you can start to relate and research how these can be linked to jobs and careers. Seldom are individuals lucky enough to combine all their passions into one occupation, but may have a career that will allow them to continue with other interest, say as a hobby or through volunteer work.

Q: What type of high school courses do you need to become a child and youth worker?

A: For entry into a Child and Youth Worker program, applicants are required to have their OSSD including the minimum of 12C English. There may also be non-academic requirements (depending on the college) such as experience of working with children between the ages of 5-18 years, this could be through high-school co-op, community service, volunteer or paid employment. Letters of reference may be asked for, completion of a questionnaire (why are you interested in this career?) or the applicant invited to the college to attend a mandatory information session at the college. Check with the colleges you are interested in to see what their specific requirements are.

Q: What is the usual average a student needs to receive an academic scholarship in college/university?

A: Scholarships can be administered in one of three ways:

* To the student who has the highest grade

* To all the students who have a certain grade or above

* There is a fixed number of scholarships and they start with the student at the top of the list and work down the list until the all the scholarships have been awarded. In this situation the minimum grade can vary from year to year.

Usually you are looking at 80's and above; in some cases the higher the grade the higher the amount is. You should check with the institution as to what the policy and criteria are and whether it is looking for an overall average, top six subjects or a specific subject. It does vary.

Q: I am interested in becoming a RCMP officer. What college provides the best program for my career choice?

A: Regardless of whether a college or university program is studied, there are other non-academic requirements specified by the different forces, but will include things such as no criminal record, a valid driver's licence, first aid and/or CPR certification and physical requirements (vision, hearing and physical fitness). Those wishing to become a police officer are advised to check with individual agencies for the specific requirements.

A number of colleges offer Police Foundation programs which prepare students physically, academically and emotionally/mentally for Police College. A Police Foundations program is not normally a mandatory requirement but does give a valuable foundation and skills which will later be utilized in the field. Probably the most popular degree students study prior to training as a police officer would be criminology (and associated subjects). A newer program that could be considered is the degree offered by Georgian College, Bachelor of Applied Human Services - Police Studies. This combines the practical and technical strengths that you get from a college with the theoretical background of a bachelor degree.

Q: What is the most difficult thing when entering college?

A: This varies from student to student. For some, it is the financial side of things, for others it is the learning style. There is certainly more freedom than high school (e.g. for most programs, attendance is not taken every class). Or it may be something such as not being with the same friends you had in high school.

Q: Hi, my name is Raashida and I was just wondering if I need Grade 12 calculus for the nursing program at Centennial HP?

A: The minimum admission requirements to be considered for the Nursing (BScN) program at Centennial College in collaboration with Ryerson University and George Brown College are: Six Grade 12U or M credits including; English 12U, biology 12U, chemistry 12 U, math 11U or M (overall average in the range of 70% required with a minimum of 60% in each required subject). Having the minimum requirements does not guarantee admission into the program.

Q: What type of high school courses do you need to be an interior designer and what college would you recommend?

A: The minimum requirement for a high school student to attend college direct from high school is their Ontario Secondary School Diploma. You are also usually required to have a minimum of 12C English. The specific requirements will vary from college to college, but in addition to the academic requirements you are mostly like to be required to submit a portfolio and each college will have their own criteria for assessment. Usually an art program at high school would set the foundations needed to start building a portfolio.

You can go to OCAS (Ontario College Application Service) to search which colleges in Ontario offer interior design programs.

Q: What would you recommend to someone who has no idea what they want to do for the rest of their life?

A: If you have no idea what your future career goals will be then there is help out there! If you are a high school student, then your guidance office will take you through the process, many community agencies offer career services (which may have an associated charge if you do not meet the criteria for their service delivery) and colleges often run workshops through their continuing education (or part-time studies) where your can explore your interests, beliefs, values etc and link these with your research for future career goals.

It is also important that you do your research - carry out informational interviews with people in jobs and careers you are interested in. Be sure to ask them about the negative or downside to their jobs as well as the good side so that you can make your own informed decision.

Q: How do I find out which college would be better for me?

A: This is a decision you have to make for yourself based on your individual needs. Some questions to ask yourself and/or the college would include:

*Does the college have the program I am looking for? Do I have the admission requirements?

* Do I have to move away from home? How long will it take to get there?

* What are the graduate employment statistics? (i.e. how many students from the program found employment? How much are they earning?)

* What supports are available to students? Including financial assistance, assistance for students with disabilities? What is the exact cost? What are the additional expenses?

* How do I get the practical experience? Workshops/labs, placements or paid co-op?

* How long is the program?

* What are the college's KPI (Key Performance Indicators) results? (These indicate how happy current students are with services and how satisfied employers are with the graduates from the colleges.)

* What are the facilities like?

College websites often answer many of these questions, but the best way to see if a college is right for you is to go and visit it. Most college have open houses and March Break activities for potential students and you can also participate in campus tours.

Q: I am planning to go into theatre arts and I am aware there is an audition process. I would like to know some facts about the audition process.

A: The audition is there to see that you 'have potential' for the program to build on. You are usually given a short piece to prepare for and a piece to read which is 'new' to you on the day of the audition. You should check with the institutions you are considering to see what their audition process consists of and how long the auditions run, whether it is a group or individual audition and how many people will you be auditioning in front of.

Q: How do you choose the right college courses for your future career?

A: Most college programs are directly related to working in a specific job or occupational area, so choosing the right program can be done by looking at the program name or the types of positions graduates are working in (found in college calendars and on college websites). For example, if you wanted to work as a chef you would be looking a culinary programs, for working in a day-care centre you would look at Early Childhood Education or Early Childhood Assistant.

If you have no idea what your future career goals will be then there is help out there! If you are a high school student, then your guidance office will take you through the process, many community agencies offer career services (which may have an associated charge if you do not meet the criteria for their service delivery) and colleges often run workshops through their continuing education (or part-time studies) where you can explore your interests, beliefs, values and link these with your research for future career goals.

Q: How much does college cost?

A: The cost will vary slightly by program and college but as a guide for 2 semesters (1 year) based on 2005-6 for a post-secondary program:

Tuition and mandatory fees $2,000-$3,000

Books and equipment $300-$900+

Residence/Accommodation $4,000-$5,500

Don't forget to budget for fun, food and transportation!

Q: I am interested in being a social worker or child and youth worker. What programs do you suggest I enroll in that relate to this field? How long is the program? Do colleges have any partnerships with universities so I could carry over my years in college to university to get a Masters?

A: If you want to be a social worker you are looking at a university education. Colleges offer programs in Social Service Worker and Child and Youth Worker. The Ontario College Application Service (OCAS) has a website, www.ontariocolleges.ca where you can search and find which colleges in Ontario offer these programs. The Social Service Worker program is 2 years and the Child and Youth Worker program is 3 years.

Many colleges have agreements with universities to allow their graduates to go on and study at university, the grade averages required and the amount of advanced standing given varies from program to program and from institution to institution. You would need to complete your university degree, following you college diploma prior to going onto graduate studies.

Q: Our son is in Grade 11. In two years, he wants to buy a beat up VW van, throw his electric guitar in the back and drive to L.A. to make music. (Don't worry, son #2 in Grade 9 has already picked out his university of choice.) He is a capable young man who is social, humourous and artistic. We would like him to explore his options at the college/university level (ex. Ryerson). What to do, what to do, what to do ... so we don't drive him away from post-secondary education which we value dearly. (From Wondering in Whitby).

A: As a high school graduation present buy him CAA membership! I have known many students 'pressurized' into higher education and they tend to be the ones which end up contributing to the 'drop-out' statistics. Many students graduating high school are not ready or prepared for the transition to higher education whether it be college or university and taking a 'year-off' allows the individual to grow-up, explore what they want to do or even get something out of their system! Then, they are often much more focused and dedicated students.

If you are willing (and able) to support your son on his pilgrimage to L.A., you should probably have some discussions and come to some mutually agreed upon outcomes to his adventure, also you should be aware that application to higher education happens in the year prior to programs starting. Many universities will allow a student to defer their start date for a year, whereas colleges currently don't. Here are some questions that need to be address and answered:

* Why does he want to do this? Is it to move away from home? Is he trying to get an emotional response from you?

* How does he plan to pay for his trip? To support himself during this time?

* Is it relevant to his career goals/future plans?

* What does he plan to do on his return?

* Has he explored the options available to him through college and university here in Canada?  There are a number of programs relating to contemporary music in the GTA which he may wish to consider.

At the end of the day, it has to be his decision and he has to live with the consequences. It does have to be an informed decision, his guidance office in high school will help him investigate the types of programs that are available through colleges and universities in Canada and can advise him on the implications of applying to high education, when you are not around to respond to requests to attend auditions, submit additional information, etc.

Q: What's recommended for the high school student whose Gr.12 marks are not up to university-of-choice standards? Would working for a year help in applying the next year? Would going to college for a year help? If this is a viable solution, would it also help for engineering admission?

A: Most universities publish the grade at which students were admitted in to programs of study the previous year, students often refer to them as 'cut-off' grades. Most universities consider all of the application received be for the application deadline (usually in January) and then make offer to students starting with those with the highest grades (some programs will also require supplemental application forms to be completed or submission of a portfolio or an audition) and work down the list until the program is full. The grade average published is the lowest that an individual had the previous application cycle and still got into the program. It is unlikely that grade average varies greatly from year to year, so it is a good tool for students to use when they are doing their research in to which institution to apply to. If a student did not get into the university of choice and applies the following year without any academic up-grading, it is going to be unlikely that they will get offer at the second attempt. Here are some suggestions:

*If the lack of offer was due to the supplemental application rather than academic ability, then working a year (relevant to the program) may give the applicant what is needed to get into the program the student could return to high school, night school or summer school to do some up-grading in subjects that are required for their degree choice. However please check with the institution beforehand.

* Most colleges offer General Arts and Science (GAS) programs which prepare students for further study at college or university. The length of the program can depend on the intended destination, however usually the university GAS program is two years at college. Depending on the college it can prepare a student for application to a BSc or BA. Again, check with the institution.

* Most colleges have articulation or transfer agreements for the 3-year diploma programs (and in some cases the 2 year diplomas). This is where the university will recognize what has been studied at college and put it towards a degree. The grade point average required and level of advanced standing does vary by university and program. It is the university that determines the criteria - not he college. Details can be found on college and university websites.

Q: I keep reading all these things about how expensive university is. My parents do not have any money saved for my post-secondary education. How much is it going to cost? Will I have time to work part-time if I go to university?

A: The cost of university is dependent on many things: program choice, location of university - whether you are going to live in residence, travel costs etc. Mandatory fees (tuition and other fees you have to pay e.g. technology, copyright fees, student service fees etc) for first year university is likely to be in the range of $5,000 - $6,500 depending on the program and university. If the program is a deregulated program i.e. the government has not put a cap on the tuition, than it can be more. In the second, third and fourth years the mandatory fees are likely to increase. Then you have other items to budget for; books, field trips, travel, accommodation, food, clothing etc - and don't forget the fun side!

Many students work part-time, however there needs to be a balance - if you work too many hours it will cut into the time you should be spending studying. Most students can manage a maximum of 20 hours a week working without having a significant affect on the grades. Universities and colleges operate a work study program, where students can work on campus, between classes/lectures (earning $8-$15 per hour depending on the job) details can be found at the institution's financial aid office. Universities have extensive scholarship programs - you should check with institutions you are planning to apply to, to find out what they have to offer.

Every year there are millions of dollars left unclaimed because students don't apply for the money that is available. Bursaries are based on financial need and scholarships on academic ability and awards are based on other criteria such as high school attended, religious organization, community service/volunteer work etc. Two excellent websites to source these awards are www.studentawards.com and www.scholarshipscanada.com. Many students also take out student loans through OSAP - Ontario Student Assistance Program, remember though this is a loan which has to be paid back, with interest, details can be found at http://osap.gov.on.ca

Q: I think it is great that the pressure of the double cohort is now subsiding for students about to start university and college - you no longer have double the applicants to compete against. What about those of us in the system graduating in 2006 or 2007? Is there going to be space for us to get into graduate school, law school or medical school? Are they going to briefly double the number of openings here or are we facing ridiculous odds once again?

A: There was never double the number of applicants to college and universities during the 'double cohort'. There were certainly more applications, especially to universities, that is one applicant may have made more than the usual number of applications to universities.

In September 2002, the Ministry of Education did state that "plans are in place for expansion of programs in a number of schools and faculties, including Nursing, Pharmacy, Occupational Therapy, Education, Management, and graduate studies." However, having spoken with a couple of colleagues in the university sector and the general consensus is that, for a number of reasons, they don't foresee a large surge in application for graduate studies. Compared to the majority of university-bound students who graduated high school and went directly to university, undergraduate students interested in grad school are more likely to stagger their applications over the next few years.

Many colleges have increase their offering for post-diploma certificate programs and 'fast-track' programs (where graduates form a university program can complete a diploma in a shorter period of time, through credit for what they have already achieved for their academic studies).

Q: Why don't college apprenticeship programs (e.g. carpentry) have a better partnerships with business to help in the actual working part of the apprenticeship? I feel government should tie funding to that partnership. I know several graduates of college apprenticeship programs struggled on their own to find apprenticeships afterwards, had to travel across Canada to find one, Others were laid off part way through their apprenticeship and didn't acquire enough hours to write their exams.

A: Traditional apprenticeship training is overseen by the Ministry of Training, Colleges and Universities, and recently there have been a number of initiatives to help more young people succeed in the work force including investing $6 million (in 2004-5) to create new Co-op Diploma Apprenticeship Programs which will enable individuals to train through the apprentice route, in specific occupational areas, while obtaining an associated college diploma. In these programs students spend time in the classroom gaining skill prior to going out on a paid co-op opportunity and then returning to the classroom to complete their academic qualification. With this particular program the college is responsible for finding the co-op opportunities and in many situations it is hope that as the employer has already invested time (and money) with the student, that they will be willing to hire the individual after graduation to complete the apprenticeship requirements. The Co-op opportunity, if you like can be seen as an extended job interview!

In order for a individual to study as an apprentice at a college (which could be day release, block of 8 weeks etc) they have to have an apprenticeship agreement; a legal document between themselves and the employer, it is all overseen by the MTCU, Apprenticeships and Adjustment Branch, without one of these a student would not be studying under the apprenticeship route at college without an employer (with the exception of the Co-op Diploma Apprenticeship program). Apprenticeship agreements can be transferred between employer, so in the unfortunate situation an individual is laid off they do not have to start from scratch. More information about apprenticeships can be obtained from: Ministry of Training, Colleges and Universities Apprenticeships and Adjustments Branch, tel: 416-326-5800.

Online Q&A: Exam stress

Do you get test-stressed? Do you freeze up when taking an exam? Does your teen need help preparing for tests or big assignments?

Dawn Lovas of Ryerson University -- who teaches learning strategies to students -- was this week's expert in our online education forum. If you have any ideas for future forums, please e-mail education editor Kristin Rushowy at krushowy@thestar.ca.

Q: I have alot of questions that I need a professional to answer:

What time of day is best for homework?

A: The time of day that is best for homework varies among individuals: some people are more effective in the morning, while others find they can concentrate better in the afternoon or evening. If you are a full-time student, treat school as a full-time job. This means that your daylight hours should be used productively. Depending on your workload, you may have to do a number of "overtime hours".

How long should working periods be?

A: A general rule is to study for 50 minutes and take a 10 minute break, however you may shorten your study sessions for more difficult material. It's recommended that you don't spend more than 3 hours on one subject at a time. If you have a large amount of work to complete, you may try alternating subjects every couple of hours.

Are breaks a distraction, or a good thing?

Breaks are a necessary part of effective study sessions, but you'll want to avoid activities that you are easily absorbed by (e.g. going on the Internet). Instead, take break with activities that have a definite end (e.g. eating dinner, watching your favourite tv show).

What if it's hard to concentrate, and you can't sit down for more than 15 mins without getting distracted?

To improve your concentration, consider what is distracting you and take steps to eliminate those distractions. For example, if you are being distracted by phone calls, family/roommates, or the TV you may choose to change your studying location to a quieter place in your home or to the library. You may also need to gradually extend your study sessions and set rewards for yourself for completing your work. When you sit down to study, set a specific goal for the task(s) you want to accomplish rather than a goal for how long you're going to study. Use methods for engaging yourself in the material such as writing notes or creating questions.

When is the best time for information to sink in?

The best time for information to 'sink in' is when you're most alert. If you tend to feel most energic in the morning, plan to study your most difficult subjects then.

What's better -- late nights or early mornings?

Again, the time of day that is better for studying is dependent on when you feel most alert. Many people find that if they start off their day with schoolwork, it helps them to gain momentum for greater productivity during the day. Others find that they are able to concentrate best late at night when there are fewer distractions. The key is to determine when YOU study best.

How do you fit in a social life?

With numerous school-related priorities, it may seem difficult to fit in a social life; however, your connections with others are important for managing the stress of being a student. Good planning and boundaries can help you to balance your studies with your social life. There may be particularly busy times during the semester (e.g. mid-terms) that you're not able to socialize much, but you can plan social activities as rewards for completing certain tasks.

What if you don't like schedules?

While scheduling can be an effective time management strategy, it's not something that everyone feels comfortable with. The large number of priorities that you have as a student makes it necessary to enlist some type of system for organizing your time. You may prefer to make weekly or daily checklists and rate each item on your list "A," "B," or "C" according to its priority. Another option is to buy a four-month calendar and write all your test/exam dates and due dates on it. The four-month calendar is best used in combination with an agenda book so that you can set task goals for each week to help you meet those deadlines. Ultimately, you may need to experiment with different methods for managing your time to find one that works for you.

Q: My son is in second-year university. He studies and knows the information, but gets test stressed and freezes up during exams. Also, he has great difficulty doing multiple choice questions. Any suggestions??

A: While some stress or anxiety can motivate us and help us to perform in a testing situation, too much can hinder our ability to access information from our memory. The "freezing up" that you referred to is something that many students experience when writing tests or exams.

For some, it is caused by insufficient preparation and/or studying in a way that doesn't effectively prepare them for the exam. Others may have developed an anxiety response to tests or exams as a result of disappointing or stressful testing experiences in the past. Your son may study for hours and know the information without actually preparing himself to write a test. It is important that his study methods include creating and answering questions about the course material. You didn't mention the program he's taking, but if it's one that involves quantitative courses then it would also be important that he devote a large percentage of his study time to doing practice questions.

Some students find it useful to simulate the conditions of an exam by selecting different types of questions from their textbook, study guide, and homework; and setting a time limit for answering them. Test anxiety can also be managed by focusing one's attention on the present moment rather than what has happened in the past or what might happen; putting the situation into perspective; using deep breathing and muscle relaxation exercises; answering easier questions first; brainstorming on more difficult questions; and using positive self-talk. If test anxiety continues to interfere with your son's performance, you may encourage him to meet with a counsellor at his university. Your son's ability to write multiple-choice tests can be enhanced by learning specific preparation and exam-writing techniques. Most universities offer study skills workshops that include writing multiple-choice tests. There is also a tip sheet available at ryerson.ca/learningsuccess/resources.html#test.

Q: What kind of test is better for testing knowlege -- multiple choice or what? Multiple choice seems too easy sometimes. Also, my son sometimes has "open book" exams at university. I don't see the point of those. He doesn't even bother to study for those.

A: All test formats assess students' knowledge, but some experts argue that certain formats do not adequately access higher order thinking skills such as analysis, synthesis, and evaluation (see www.esf.edu/erfeg/endreny/courses/LevelsofKnowledge.htm for more information on levels of knowledge). Multiple-choice tests are an efficient way to check factual knowledge, and well-written questions can assess more complex levels of knowledge.

While it is possible to answer some questions correctly by guessing, well-developed multiple-choice test skills cannot substitute for knowing the information. Many students actually find multiple-choice tests to be more difficult because they require them to differentiate between similar answers and there is no opportunity for partial marks. Open-book exams tend to move beyond simply requiring students to recall information that could be easily accessed in their books. In most cases, if they do not understand the information they will not have enough time during the exam to learn the material well enough to apply it to the questions, or to determine which concepts to apply. As a result, the open book format can be quite effective at testing students' higher order thinking skills.

Q: I don't have any children in university or even high school, but they will be writing the province's standardized tests next year. How do I prepare them? Isn't it more stressful for younger children to write tests?

A: Tests can be stressful for children, as they are for students of all ages. Your interest in helping your children to prepare is one step toward reducing the stress that they may feel. There are a number of things that you can do to help your children prepare for the tests, and consequently create a foundation for good study skills. First, I recommend speaking with your children's teachers about what activities you can do at home to help them prepare for the specific tests that they'll be writing. Second, continue to show interest and involvement in their schoolwork. Discuss their homework with them, ask them questions, and model a curiosity for learning. Third, help them to establish a regular routine for completing homework and managing their time well. Finally, encourage your children to take the tests seriously, but avoid showing anxiety about their test scores. Instead, accentuate their effort, hard work, and progress.

Q: Why do people get worried about exams? Isn't it because they aren't prepared?

A: As I mentioned in an earlier response, stress can be a signal that more preparation is required for the exam; however, it is not the only reason that students feel stressed about exams. Some people experience exam stress because they have extremely high performance expectations that may be unrealistic in a situation where they have to juggle a number of priorities. Others become paralyzed by stress because they are focused on how their own abilities compare to those of their classmates.

The pressure to perform well on exams may be significant for students who need to make up for lower results during the semester. In reality, it would actually be a mistake to eliminate all stress during exam time, because it is useful and necessary for you to perform at your optimum level. Stress can be a motivator, but using it to your advantage requires that you be able to keep it at manageable levels.

Q: I'm in first-year university and I love it so far. I'm doing okay on my weekly assignments, getting Cs and Bs, but now I'm sure I bombed my midterms. There's so much to read for each class and my mind can't focus on it. I try to read the textbook but I go blank. The next day I can't remember what I read. I like classes but it's all the reading I find really hard. I'm not sure what to do now because I have exams again in December.

A: One of the greatest transitional challenges for first-year university students is learning a large amount of information in a relatively short period of time. Your enjoyment of your program puts you in a good position, as it will make the hours of reading easier to endure.

Struggling to remember what you've read may be the result of reading passively. Depending on your learning style, you may benefit from writing study notes, discussing the information in a study group, drawing diagrams or flow charts of key concepts, highlighting major points, and/or creating questions in margins. The SQ3R method, which stands for Survey, Question, Read, Recite, Review, engages you in the material and is useful for improving your reading comprehension. You can read about this method at http://www.ryerson.ca/learningsuccess/resources/TS4.htm. You'll also want to focus your energy on 'understanding' key concepts, particularly those that your professors emphasize in class, rather than attempting to memorize all the information in your readings. In addition, break up your readings into logical sections and ensure that understand each section before moving on. Take a short break after every hour of studying and try to do your more difficult readings when you are most alert. Most importantly, add time for review into your daily schedule and be sure to review your lecture notes or readings within 24 hours for optimal long-term retention.

When you get your midterms back, take some time to analyze the types of questions that were asked to determine if you concentrated your studying on the appropriate information. Consider why you answered some questions incorrectly and how you studied for questions that you answered correctly. You can improve your exam-writing skills by learning from each test that you write. It's not too late to make a difference in this semester, but with exams quickly approaching you'll need to act now. Speak to your professors or T.A.'s about strategies to help you succeed in your courses and create a study plan for final exams. Find out what kind of academic resources are available at your university and take advantage of those supports right away.

Q: My daughter attends Ryerson University and always does poorly on tests/exams, despite studying. I think she doesn't study effectively. Can you help? -A concerned mother.

A: As you've noted, studying doesn't necessarily lead to a strong results on tests or exams. Your daughter's methods for studying may not be conducive to her particular learning style, the types of courses she is taking, or the format of her tests/exams. Fortunately, there are a number of academic support resources available for your daughter at Ryerson, including free study skills workshops and individual learning strategy consultations. For her more difficult courses, she may consider getting a tutor through the Tutor Registry or using one of the free tutoring drop-in centres that are available in some faculties. For more information, go to www.ryerson.ca/learningsuccess.

Difficulty with tests can also result from a learning disability, but this is the case for a very small percentage of students. If you or your daughter suspect that she might have a learning disability, you may encourage her to connect with the Access Centre. If her struggles result from test anxiety, she could benefit from meeting with a counsellor in the Centre for Student Development and Counselling. These supports are offered through Student Services at Ryerson (www.ryerson.ca/studentservices), and other universities have similar services.

Q: I do very poorly on tests although I study and understand, but I just panic when the test day arrives ... How can I relax and be successful?

A: If you are in university or college you may benefit from meeting with a counsellor in your student services area. A counsellor can help you to determine the root of your panic and develop specific coping mechanisms and prevention strategies. In high school, the guidance department provides a similar service.

Consider whether your studying methods are preparing you to write the test. Knowing and understanding the material is a great start, but testing yourself with different types of questions in different orders can help you to develop your exam-writing skills. If you feel that you are studying well, try to identify the reasons for your panic and consider whether they are realistic. You can help yourself to relax by getting organized the night before the exam and 'reviewing' your notes. Avoid trying to learn new material within 24 hours of your test/exam. Get a full night of sleep because sleep deprivation will interfere with your memory, concentration, and problem-solving abilities. Try to get some exercise before your exam, even if it's a 15-minute walk. Get to your exam early, but avoid talking to other anxious classmates because their anxiety can be contagious. When you go into the exam room, find a seat where you feel comfortable away from distractions (e.g. the door).

Before beginning your test, take a moment to focus on your breathing, thoughts, and feelings. Check with your counselling department for workshops or resources on muscle relaxation, meditation, and breathing exercises that can help you to prevent and reduce panic. Focus your attention on one question at a time, and move to easier questions if you get stuck. When you've completed the questions that you're more confident about, return to the difficult questions and brainstorm what you know about the topic on scrap paper. Most information gets stored in your memory in connection with other information, so brainstorming can trigger some memory cues that will help you to access the information. Keep your attention on your work and try not to be concerned with the pace that others around you are moving at. If you find yourself starting to panic, take your attention off of the test for a moment and take ten deep breaths. Some anxiety during a test can benefit your performance by helping you to focus and stay motivated, but too much anxiety needs to be managed.

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Q: How come some university classes have assignments through the semester and just one final exam? Some programs have exams all the time.

A: University classes are structured differently according to the purpose of the course and the concepts that need to be learned. While some engineering courses may have more tests, courses in the arts or social sciences usually require a significant amount of writing. In a program like engineering that is more focused on quantitative work, testing is one efficient way to assess whether you've acquired the knowledge and skills outlined in the courses' learning objectives. Some people might argue that certain programs are more difficult than others, but each program comes with its own set of challenges. The key to being successful in university is to identify the skills that you need to get through your program and try to develop those skills in each course.

Exam time can be stressful when you have several courses to study for in a short period of time, but with good planning and an effective study schedule it is possible to study effectively and achieve strong results.

Q: This happens to me a lot: my mind goes blank during a test. Why does it happen and is there something I could do?

A: Going 'blank' on a test can be caused by lack of preparation or ineffective preparation. Performing well on tests requires long-term preparation that includes attending class, keeping up with readings and homework, and creating study notes; and short-term preparation that includes review and self-testing. Consider whether your current study methods are preparing you well enough for your tests. Determine the types of questions that you tend to blank out on (e.g. problem-solving, multi-part, application) and be sure that your studying addresses those areas. Be sure that your review involves doing a variety of practice questions so that you can become comfortable producing answers in different ways and in different orders.

If you find that you can answer questions well before the test, but then are unable to answer similar questions on the test you may be experiencing test anxiety. In this case, you will need to adopt some strategies for bringing your anxiety down to manageable levels. Check out my other responses for some tips for managing anxiety. If test anxiety continues to be a problem for you, I would recommend that you make an appointment with a counsellor at your university/college/high school.

Online Q&A: Preschool/daycare

Thanks for joining today's online education forum on preschool and day care with Professor Theresa Steger.

Do exams stress you out? Please join us for our next forum with testing expert Dawn Lovas of Ryerson University. If you have any ideas for future forums, please contact education editor Kristin Rushowy at krushowy@thestar.ca.

Q: I had a great primary education experience while living in the Jane-Finch area and later North York. I remember tutoring private school students in university. Is there truly much difference between private and public education up to Grade 3 or so? My son is almost 4 and will be going to school in September. Day care and private schools are very expensive, but I have yet to truly understand what benefits are to be gained by a private school?

A: The differences between public and private education comes down to the specifics. For example, private schools may offer lower teacher-student ratios, may be open to one gender only, may have a particular curriculum focus, such as the arts, or science, may offer specific programming unavailable in public schools, etc. It is these particulars that often influence a family's decision to attend private school. They may also have a history or family tradition of children attending the school (sometimes for generations) and so have a degree of comfort with having their own child attend a school where they themselves were students.

Private schools, by their very nature, are selective. Families who put their children in a particular school often share similar values and, to a certain degree, the financial means to pay for a space, because, as you said, these spaces can be expensive. This is not to say families do not make sacrifices to have their child attend a private school. The point is that these families are similar to some degree in that they are willing to make the necessary sacrifices because they are committed to the type of private education they expect to receive. In some schools this may be reflected in the curriculum and in the overall school-community life and this is something families need to keep in mind when deciding about an individual school. The same is true for public schools. Some families attend public school because they feel they have no other option (often due to finances), but this is not the only factor. Others believe public school is effective, at least to a certain degree. There are some families who believe strongly in the idea that all children deserve quality schooling, regardless of financial means, and that children must learn to work together with the range of diverse learners that they believe are more represented in a public setting. These families may choose to send their child to public school because they think it is more inclusive.

As a whole, children from both public and private schools go on to do a range of things after graduation, including acquiring successful jobs, attending university, raising families, attaining a certain level of personal satisfaction, etc. There is no evidence that either group is limited. However, these are group statistics. For an individual child, the child and family may come to the decision that either public or private school is the best option for them.

Q: How do I find out the safety record of the school and if there are any complaints against the school?

and ...

Q: Maybe you can tell me where I go to get information on the various day-cares in York Region - I don't mean hours of operation or vacancies, but statistics on accidents reported, or the number of licensing infractions (such as breaking fire codes, teacher ratios, etc.) I have contacted the ministry responsible for day-care licensing in York Region and they have pretty much put up a brick wall with regards to providing me the information that they gather when their inspectors go out and visit these licensed day-care centres. First I was told they do not provide that information to the public, then, I quoted the "Freedom of Information Act," and they changed their tune, telling me they WOULD have to provide the information but I would have to request it in writing. When I did so, I received a call from their office telling me I would have to pay for the "man-hours" for one of their employees to compile this information for me and it would cost me several hundred dollars to do so. I can't believe I am the only mother to ever try and figure out a "good" day-care from a "poor" one. All of my friends have chosen to put their children in private day-care so I don't have a reference point to find out which ones are better than others. People will spend hours researching hotels on the internet before they go on vacation - why isn't anyone researching these day-cares? I have just contacted my local MPP regarding this matter and I am about to write a letter to my local paper, hoping to find 200 parents each willing to spend a loonie so that I can get this information and distribute it to the other paying parents. Why won't the gov't agency release this information? What are they afraid of?

A: I expect you are not the only parent attempting to get this information and you are correct in that it should not be this difficult. Asking a centre directly for the site visit report may be useful. Centres may be willing to share these reports with you, at least if you agree to read the report on-site at the centre. For centres who are not willing, it sounds as though you are exploring many possibilties. Contacting the licensing office again, and asking them to put their telephone response to you in writing is important. You might wish to mention to them your intention to go to the media. In addition to your plans to work through your MPP, you may be able to connect with other families through programs in the community. York Region has some wonderful programs offered through the public libraries. Pediatricians and elementary school teachers may also be able to provide information on particular centres or ways to connect with other parents who are looking into programs. Perhaps together you are more likely to get the information you are looking for. In addition to the statistics, personal experience with the centre and consideration of your own standards are important for decision-making.

Q: My daughter is two years old. I am looking into putting her in a preschool. Here are some of my questions: What should I be assessing when choosing a school for her? Are preschool/daycare rated some way by someone or some organization? How are these school regulated? Where can I find information about it?

A: I have addressed some of these points in other responses but a summary would include such factors as: - Is the centre licensed? - Teacher qualifications - Teacher and family turnover rates - Quality of interactions between staff and children - Materials which are open-ended and can serve a variety of purposes, accessible to children, and safe - Extended periods of time for play - chosen by the child - Opportunities for indooor and outdoor physical play - Safety, feeding, toileting (including toilet training), and sleeping routines -Undesirable/unacceptable behaviours and strategies used to respond to these.

Licensed centres do meet minimum requirements, based on site visits. Perhaps the most effective and time-efficient means to access this information is to ask the childcare centre director/administrator. If a centre is unwilling to provide this information, you may need to take further steps. The Ontario Ministry of Children and Youth Services may be useful in your efforts to learn more about this.

Q: We are looking into a preschool for our daughter who is almost 3 years old. Is there any big advantage to Montessori schools? Are there any statistics to show how former Montessori preschoolers perform versus those who took regular preschool?

A: I am not aware of a Ontario-based study looking at long-term effects of Montessori education compared to other early education experiences. When such studies do exist, they are often commisioned by the program which they are intended to evaluate and, as a result, what becomes public information may be censored in some way. As I mention in some of my responses to other questions, there is great variation among programs, even programs which profess to be based on a particular philosophy. To be certain a program suits your daughter and your family, you are best to visit the program and spend some time there.

Q: My daughter recently started Montessori and while I've heard it's great, I don't quite understand all the rules. For example, she gets in trouble when she steps on a certain "mat" or is in between activities. Is it supposed to be this strict?

A: First, Montessori programs, like all programs that say they follow a particular philosophy, tend to vary greatly. It is important to see what actually happens in each site and to ask questions about why things happen the way they do. It may be hard to know in advance what to ask, because it is often after your child has spent some time in the program that the questions begin to surface. Keep asking the educators for the rationale behind their practices. In your case, don’t hesitate to ask both for the reason behind any concerns when your daughter is “between activities” and the specific strategies that the teachers use when this happens. If you believe your daughter is taking some time to observe others or wander around looking at things, in order to make a decision about what to do next, then find out from the teachers what their response is to this time. Again, individual children and families want and need different things from the care and education programs available.

Children need time for choice and decision-making everyday and programs for young children should be based on learning through play. Where programs are controlled primarily by teacher decisions, there is little room for children to learn how to make choices, manage their own time, and learn to self-regulate their own behaviour – critical skills for continued learning. Some programs value independence more than others, with some placing an emphasis on social skills. Be certain to ask program administrators for philosophy statements and examples of how this philosophy is put into practice. Check out the typical schedules for each day, a week, and a month and be certain to spend as much time as you can within a program, with your child, before coming to a decision. There is nothing wrong with making the decision that a program that is “great” for others is not a match for you and your child.

Q: What are the reasons for a "Day Nursery" pre-school program in Ontario requiring such a high adult/child ratio as compared to an elementary school's junior kindergarten program? My understanding is that currently 3- and 4-year-olds in a day nursery require a ratio of 1 employee to 8 children, whereas primary school classrooms, (ie: JK-Grade 3) can have an overall average of 20 students per teacher. Developmentally, which is the better option?

A: There is no question that, if all other factors were equal, an 8:1 ratio is preferable to a 20:1 ratio. However, it is difficult to compare programs in child-care centres with those in elementary schools, as the teacher qualifications, programs, and other services provided tend to vary greatly. The ratios are influenced primarily by cost and, but when combined with the other factors, the issue becomes more complicated. Ratios can be lower in child-care, partly as a result of the low pay that many ECE professionals receive.
Generally, people are beginning to recognize the specialized education and resulting skills and abilities that it takes to work effectively with young children. There are few, if any, elementary teacher preparation programs responding to this distinction and providing education focused on children in JK-3.  Due to the current legislation, most teacher certification programs range over JK-Grade 6. Elementary teachers are required to have university degrees, in addition to their certification program, and they are expected to learn strategies for teaching in the context of a larger class and teaching many subject areas effectively. It would be wonderful if programs that combined the specialized focus on young children (currently part of ECE education), with the skills, strategies, and advanced education, which is part of Bachelor of Education programs, became the norm for all JK- Grade 3 teachers.
Another key point that comes from your question is the statement that 8:1 ratios are required in each ad every preschool childcare classroom. The idea of maximum class sizes is still not mandated by the Ministry of Education. To their credit, the government has moved towards restrictions on average class sizes in the primary years.

Q: A boy at my daughter's day care has now bitten her three times, always on the forearm. They're not fighting or anything, but for some reason he does it only to her. There's no bleeding, although marks on her skin, but I still think it's a serious situation that the teachers aren't addressing properly because it keeps happening. I want to ask that he be moved to another class or what should I do?

A:  Biting is common in older infants and toddlers. For this age group, biting is typically used as a form of communication. Some children who bite do so in response to frustration. They may not have the language that they need in order to express themselves, and turn to biting as an alternative. Biting can also be simply an effort to be noticed.

Knowing this, however, does little to deal with the concern a parent faces when their child has been bitten, particularly when it is repetitive. You mention your concern that the teachers are not addressing the issue properly. Have you asked them about specific strategies they use in response to biting?

While this may seem highly unlikely, the family of the child who has bitten another child is typically equally as concerned about the incident(s). While on the surface some may appear to downplay the incident, typically no adults want their child to hurt another child and are very anxious when this happens. They may be more comfortable discussing solutions with the childcare staff than with you, as this can be a very embarrassing situation for the family. I have seen some families remove their child from group care as a result of this situation and I am concerned about the sense of isolation that can go along with this. I support the idea of working together towards a solution. While this might mean patience on your part, you should be able to get some answers related to your concerns about specific strategies that staff are using to respond to biting.

Q: I am thrilled that the government has approved money for more child-care spaces ... for school-age kids. When will they be doing something about providing quality infant spaces??? I go back to work soon, and I don’t want to have to "settle" for something. I want the best for my daughter!

A: You are absolutely correct about the need to look for the “best” care you can find for your daughter. Infant spaces, particularly in high quality centres, often have very long waiting lists, so beginning to look early is important. Be certain to check out the qualifications of the childcare professionals to see if they have ECE degrees or diplomas. Qualifications and low staff turnover have been shown to relate directly to the quality of care. As a result of the “Best Start” initiative, there is a movement to create a College of Early Childhood Educators. One of the outcomes of the creation of such a governing body is likely to be a requirement for all childcare teachers to have ECE qualifications.

In your search process, be sure to spend as much time as you can in the child-care centres you are considering. Ask about their routines for sleeping and feeding, as infant care should be responsive to the individual routines of the baby. The centre should have a “transition” time, where you will bring your daughter and stay with her, gradually increasing the time she spends at the center and in the care of the childcare staff. A particular challenge for families who have an infant in childcare is that the infant is not yet able to communicate in words and tell you about what happened during the day. As a result, you will need to be aware of non-verbal signs that suggest your daughter is adjusting well. Is she sleeping, eating, and generally content? I always encourage families, regardless whether they choose center-based or home-based childcare, to arrive unexpectedly, at various times during the day.

Q: Hi there. Regarding daycare/preschool, what should a parent do when a 2-year-old comes home having learned a very bad swear word at school? Thank you.

A: There are a number of possible choices for ways to respond. First, you may find that ignoring the word works best. Drawing unnecessary attention to it may only serve to encourage the child to repeat it again – typically to gain attention. Ignoring a swear word that the child is not regularly exposed to may result in the child quickly forgetting about it and not using it again. However, if this does not work, or you are uncomfortable with the suggestion, you could choose to explain to the child that you find that word rude and ask (or require) that it not be used in your home. In the case where the swear word is used as a synonym for some other word that you prefer, you can directly tell your child, “In our house, we say xxx.” This is particularly useful for slang words related to body parts, bodily functions, and those that are derogatory to individuals or groups of people.

Repeating swear words is a common behaviour for children of all ages and you will continue to have to find effective ways to respond to it for many years to come. As the child gets older, they may actually find the shocked response of an adult to be humourous and, therefore, it is important that you have some idea, in advance, of how you would prefer to respond. One further note … given that you believe your child first heard this word at the childcare, you may wish to inform the staff that this language was used (and may still be being used).

Q: I have two children, 2 and 3 years old, and work full-time as does my partner. We just hired a nanny, and I'd like to give her some ideas for activities to do with them. Do you have any suggestions?

A: First, and foremost, it is important for any caregiver to take cues from the children. You, your partner, and your nanny should ask, “What are the children interested in?”  For young children, activities which are open-ended –- allowing the child choice and a chance to make decisions about what to do and how to do it –- are most appropriate. For example, rather than your nanny setting up a traditional “craft” activity, where the final product is predetermined, allow the children to freely experiment with a variety of materials (paint, playdough, sand, water, goop). It is important to remember that it is not the product of children’s play that make it a learning experience, but rather the process of experimentation and engaging in play. Let the children be the judges of what is to be done at an activity and how long they want to spend there. There should be regular time for reading books, listening to music, singing, and experimenting with various writing/drawing materials, like crayons and markers. Block building and sand and water play have been shown to support children’s mathematical understandings. Building can occur with “found” materials at home, like washed yogurt containers, empty film canisters, egg cartons, and cardboard boxes. Having a dress-up bin with discarded shirts, pants, dresses, shoes, purses, hats, etc. can lead to hours of pretend play. This drama allows children to learn about various roles, try out new skills, and is proven to support language and social skills.

Keep in mind that “over-programming” is not the answer. It is important to remember that the pots and pans in your own cupboard and the plastic cooking utensils may be more interesting to the children and provide invaluable learning experiences

Q: Is it better for a child to be in day care or stay at home with mom? I have this debate with my friend all the time; she thinks that no matter what, it's best for mom to stay at home. I'm not so sure.

A: This is one of those questions to which there is not a single answer. Each family has different circumstances that will impact the decision to have their children attend a daycare. The factors relate both to the adults and the children. Some women (and men) are very committed to being at home with their children. Others find a balance between work and family more suited towards their personal goals. Not everyone has the choice to stay home or go to work. If you are a family where this is a viable option, you will need to consider your circumstances. It is not simply a matter of finances, as both staying home and going to work impact family life with children. Some women (and men), who choose to stay home, believe they are better able to respond to the stresses related to primarily caring for a child all day, every day, often on their own, than they would be trying to focus at work, knowing someone else was looking after their child. Other parents feel that they interact more effectively with their children when they have spent time engaged in work, interacting with other adults, or simply having had some time to themselves. Parent satisfaction, and the resulting quality of care, is the key issue here. 

The unique characteristics of each child also should inform this decision. Some children adapt well to childcare and education settings. This may make it easier for a parent to go to work, knowing that the child is happy. In cases where the child finds the separation difficult, even after an initial adjustment period, a parent may find him/herself so preoccupied with wondering about the child’s emotional state that s/he is not experiencing the rewards s/he expected from going to work. With this in mind, if a family makes the decision to place a child in care, finding the right environment will be critical to the well-being of both the parent and children.