As my colleague Joanna Smith reports, Dana Larsen, the NDP candidate in the riding of West Vancouver-Sunshine Coast, resigned yesterday. This came not long after The Globe and Mail inquired about his involvement with the Vancouver Seed Bank, "a business that sells Peruvian coca seedlings." (Which can be used to produce this.)
This morning, CBC Newsworld aired footage of a video Larsen shot in the hazy past. In this homage, Larsen tilts his head back and squeezes a few mysterious drops into his mouth, simultaneously puffs on dozens of joints, gets "nice and fried" near a body of water and stares at the architectural majesty that is his foot.
Larsen, it should be noted, co-founded the B.C. Marijuana Party and Marijuana Party of Canada, he hosted an Internet program on Pot TV, was editor of Cannabis Culture Magazine and author of Hairy Pothead and the Marijuana Stone.
So it’s not like the NDP was unaware of his, ahem, mandate. This raises a question: Why exactly did Larsen resign? I shall now take 10 wild guesses:
- While hallucinating this one time, a salt-shaker turned into Jack Layton and vowed to kill him in his sleep.
- He suddenly realized he has no “contacts” in Ottawa.
- The boat refused to provide a receipt for the amulet the cloud stole.
- He got sick of all the dirty looks at NDP meetings whenever he went outside for a “toke break.”
- During a bad trip, he concluded Stephen Harper is the true Lizard King.
- He already blew most of his campaign budget on Doritos.
- After an epiphany, he decided to devote his life to Confucianism.
- He became certain Olivia is his soul-mate.
- Who poked me? Teddy? Is that you???
- The unicorn said it was time for a change.