Democrats can soothe their now jittery nerves with an Obama '08 Yes We Can Blue Bracelet. His store even has online aisles for women and students. Republicans, meanwhile, can collect an entire collection of $15 John McCain T-shirts, including ones emblazoned with the words Integrity, Leadership, Experience and Honor. (This word was conspicuously absent.)
Recently, an American company unveiled a line of Sarah Palin action figures. In the first, the woman who might be vice president of the United States of America is garbed in a sensible blazer and pants, like a hotter and less nefarious Dick Cheney. In the second, she's dressed as a "school girl," replete with tartan skirt, white blouse and red bra. In the third, our bespectacled heroine is bedecked in a white miniskirt and Matrix-style leather jacket. She also has a holster strapped to her left thigh, like Lara Croft poised to kick some ass (terrorist and/or moose) from an unlikely base of operations.
So now I must ask: Since our own election appears to be riddled with creepy campaign photo-ops and foregone conclusions, don't Canadians deserve some cheap political toys to help pass the hours until we trudge to the polls on October 14?
How about a Stephen Harper Action Figure? It plays the piano, recites key messages in a monotone, smiles awkwardly and comes with a removable cowboy hat and sweater vest.
Or how about a Jack Layton Doll? Accessories include a kitchen table, shirt with rolled-up sleeves, detachable 'stache and Malibu Olivia. A Special Collector's Edition could come with a telephone booth: Kids, watch as Jack morphs into Super Obama and flies toward a planet called Hope!
The Stephane Dion Figurine, meanwhile, could be mass-produced very economically, since it doesn't do much of anything.