Regular visitor Carla is a smart woman. You have to be smart to survive in Salt Lake City, I guess, with no big-league hockey and a Jazz team whose big man tops the NBA's most-likely-to-wax-his-back-and-dunk list.
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| This Leafs season has turned even scarier than a Count Floyd reunion |
Perhaps my memory is a tad muddled. But she got me to thinking, as this highway to hell continues for the Leafs, straight into two in Ottawa, and a federal election: What classic Sci-Fi movie does this Leafs season remind you of?
A few candidates:
Them!: Whitmore's bug-eyed "get away before it's too late" closing speech, a 1950s sci-fi staple, is eerily reminiscent of a pregame Sportsnet panel warning that Belfour is starting in goal.
Alien: A little Ballard pops out of the egg, and grows up to be the anti-ET that turns the fortunes of an entire spaceship for the worse.
Night of the Living Dead: Thousands of Nik Antropovs awake and terrorize the earth.
The Matrix: Alex Ovechkin as Neo, the Leafs as all those creepy dudes trying to get him.
Back to the Future: Every season the Leafs have had for the past 38 years.
What with trade rumours, a jinx blogger, former Leafs failing drug tests, Spezza's return to the Ottawa lineup, continuing injury woes and on and on clouding the Leafs picture, I'm sure others will come to mind.
A prize to the best Sci-Fi movie/Leafs season comparison! I'll keep this open all weekend. Heck, it's a lot more fun than counting down to the election, and the Sens.
(C.Y.)
How about that Bryan Berard testing positive for steroids eh? Guess he'll be left off the Olympic team. What was he taking the 'roids for anyhow? His one eyeball?
Idiot.
But it goes far to prove Dick Pound is right and uh ... hockey minds ... like Don Cherry are clueless (which comes as little surprise).
The NHL's drug policy is so pithy and weak I wouldn't doubt it if Pound was right and a large percentage of the players in the league are on something.
What disappoints me is the NHL's refusal to acknowledge such problems exist; they don't test their players consistently (no summer time testing) and their concept of justice is so whacked it's not worth mentioning (hello Todd Bertuzzi).
Well it looks good on Gary and the NHL methinks. At least now they'll get some press in the U.S.
As for the Leafs and rumours of Allison's imminent departure, I don't like it. But then again this is Leafland and Leafs Inc. is likely in panic mode at the thought of missing all those post-season gate and concession revenues.
They gotta pin it on someone and heaven forbid Pat Quinn be blamed for the make up of this team. Say what you will, Allison has not been a poor addition to the team despite the stats.
Nope, for my money, you just can't see enough of Wade Belak or Nik Antropov or the JFJ blunder that's become Jeff O'Neill.
Posted by: Flam Flim | January 20, 2006 at 09:34 AM
Does anyone know where Mariusz Czerkawski went? He seems to be a pretty good player, if he plays on a consistent basis, and if Quinn isn't giving him ice time, then I say the Leafs need a coaching change
Posted by: Fred | January 20, 2006 at 01:23 PM
As long as Quinn keeps winning world cups and gold medals, they won't change..
Having said that, I think I could coach a team canada with all that talent to a medal or a world cup..
Posted by: Tim G | January 22, 2006 at 12:58 PM
Czerkawski has been in limbo. He did play quite well when he was finally given the chance (it helped that he played with Sundin), but then Quinn moved him down a line, then down a line, then down a line again until he went back into limbo. Meanwhile, Belak gets 8 minutes of ice time.
Anyway.
ALIENS: Like a bunch of space marines, the Leafs went into the dirty lair of Ottawa. And like the space marines, they got their asses destroyed by a fast moving team... with acid for blood.
Posted by: nowak | January 23, 2006 at 02:02 AM
First of all, let's look at the big picture. The Leafs at 4 games above .500 are right about where all the experts said they would be at the start of the season. They are neither as good as they looked during the 6 game win streak or as bad as they have looked in losing 5 and probably 6 in a row.
What galls me is your resident writer, Damien Cox, who writes a predictable "fire Quinn" column (and get a fact wrong i.e. contract length -- retraction today).
Yes, the Leafs are very ordinary even with McCabe, Lindros and Tucker in the lineup (their injuries conveniently ignored by Cox) but if you take a longer term, more objective view Quinn has had a very good record since coming to Toronto.
I say fire Cox, keep Quinn and get on Ferguson's case for signing the soft as Charmin Khavanov, the ever brittle Lindros and keeping Eddie Belfour past his expiry date.
Posted by: Gary | January 23, 2006 at 01:23 PM
Say, what about Bill Murray's Groundhog's Day? I know it's not sci-fi but it works perfectly for the Leafs, I mean think about it, everytime they play Ottawa it's like the same game over and over and over again, only unlike Billy Murray, they don't seem to ever learn from it...
Posted by: N. Jones | January 24, 2006 at 12:47 AM
Here's a few more:
Okay, I've Sundanced the go-juice right out of my brain this weekend, so the rest of my film/Leafs comparisons will be short and to the point... (and I think I may have forgotten to include IMDb links for the other two I sent in on Friday. Here's THE QUATERMASS XPERIMENT:
http://imdb.com/title/tt0049646/. And here's THE DAY THE EARTH
CAUGHT FIRE: http://imdb.com/title/tt0054790/.)
A few more...
THE INVISIBLE MAN (http://imdb.com/title/tt0024184/) - "If I wear this face shield, you can't see me!", marvels Mats. Screenplay by Don Cherry.
THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN (http://imdb.com/title/tt0050539/) - Tie
Domi becomes inconsequential to the team.
THE STEPFORD WIVES (http://imdb.com/title/tt0073747/)/INVADERS FROM
MARS (http://imdb.com/title/tt0045917/)/INVASION OF THE BODY
SNATCHERS (http://imdb.com/title/tt0049366/) - The gritty,
in-yer-face Leafs who used to be able to mount effective comebacks in third periods have been replaced with milquetoasts who roll over at the drop of a puck.
THE MONOLITH MONSTERS (http://imdb.com/title/tt0050720/) - Starring
Aki Berg, Khavanov and Wade Belak.
FAIL-SAFE (http://imdb.com/title/tt0058083/) - Thursday, March 9th is this season's trade deadline. Beyond that point there is no going back. Leafs Nation waits on pins and needles, wondering what JFJr will do.
Posted by: Carla | January 24, 2006 at 10:40 AM