z_The Hockey Page - Toronto Star

Monster Sci-Fi Chiller Horror Theatre

Regular visitor Carla is a smart woman. You have to be smart to survive in Salt Lake City, I guess, with no big-league hockey and a Jazz team whose big man tops the NBA's most-likely-to-wax-his-back-and-dunk list.

This Leafs season has turned even scarier than a Count Floyd reunion

Anyway, Carla immediately picked up on yesterday's title: Them! I recall watching it on Channel 29's Saturday afternoon movie, James Whitmore battling giant spiders ants who were coming out of the desert to run amok, terrorizing the locals by smoking cigarettes, wearing leather jackets and gunning their Harleys.
Perhaps my memory is a tad muddled. But she got me to thinking, as this highway to hell continues for the Leafs, straight into two in Ottawa, and a federal election: What classic Sci-Fi movie does this Leafs season remind you of?
A few candidates:
Them!: Whitmore's bug-eyed "get away before it's too late" closing speech, a 1950s sci-fi staple, is eerily reminiscent of a pregame Sportsnet panel warning that Belfour is starting in goal.
Alien: A little Ballard pops out of the egg, and grows up to be the anti-ET that turns the fortunes of an entire spaceship for the worse.
Night of the Living Dead: Thousands of Nik Antropovs awake and terrorize the earth.
The Matrix: Alex Ovechkin as Neo, the Leafs as all those creepy dudes trying to get him.
Back to the Future: Every season the Leafs have had for the past 38 years.

What with trade rumours, a jinx blogger, former Leafs failing drug tests, Spezza's return to the Ottawa lineup, continuing injury woes and on and on clouding the Leafs picture, I'm sure others will come to mind.

A prize to the best Sci-Fi movie/Leafs season comparison! I'll keep this open all weekend. Heck, it's a lot more fun than counting down to the election, and the Sens.

(C.Y.)

Them!

Well, I've been trying to avoid a post about them.

I spent, what, 150 minutes of my life watching them last night. Wasted it. Kept notes on my wasting it on them -- the giveaways, the dumb penalties, the lack of punch.

So here it is, I'll keep it brief: Best moment of this one was captured on TV, Minnesota's Jacques Lemaire berating his star player on the bench. A couple of shifts later, and Marian Gaborik was going by one of them like he was tied to a post. Then Gaborik was scoring the goal of the night.

When was the last time the head coach of them got in the face of anyone? When was last time one of them was challenged to raise his game, and did just that?

Over at the Battle of Ontario, Meatriarchy points out that remarkabe consistency from them over this four-game losing spinout:

In the past four games of this losing skid the Leafs have scored first in every game. They have also had shorthanded goals in two of them. Usually scoring first or scoring a shorthanded goal is an indicator that you will win the game. Going into this four game slump the Leafs were 15-4 when scoring the first goal.

Scoring the first goal, scoring shorthanded -- it doesn't matter. But no matter what the hyperbole is from the TV people (and last night, they laid it on awful thick), it is still mid January, and almost half a season remains. It's not noose time. It is, however, Blah time, to steal another line from BoO.

Now we have two days of waiting before the latest round of the (lower-case) battle of Ontario, and a two-game set in Ottawa at that. This is the new NHL: an away-and-away.

Oh, and Jes Golbez has a nice one (including the comments) on the retiring Ziggy Palffy:

Palffy is known among the local Skalica residents to be extremely cocky and haughty, acting like a 'spoiled prince'. It doesn't help that tensions between Hungary and Slovakia (dating back to the Austrian-Hungarian empire) still run high and anyone with Hungarian noble heritage might be derided by natural Slovaks (This is more subconscious than anything). It wouldn't be uncommon to see a few beer bottles thrown at Ziggy when he returned home for the summer.

I remember being at a game in Los Angeles about a decade ago perhaps, and there was this little guy out there for the Islanders, skating circles around everyone. It was Palffy, just ready to break through. I'm with you Jes -- he was fun to watch.

So Palffy retires, another waste-of-time loss by them ... and Vancouver Canucks Op-Ed is ... gone. That's a triple decker bummer sandwich, friends.

(C.Y.)

A few great goals

Okay, I got a few of you to bite on the best goals of the year list. And I had a look at my notes on Leafs games this year -- I've done that for about two-thirds of their games so far, so I may have missed some good 'uns, but with this team, I kinda doubt it -- to come up with this set of highlights courtesy of the "NHL Highlight Machine" which for those of us of a certain vintage, brings back memories of George Michael. No, not that George Michael. This one.)

Anyway, here we go, Leafs division:

Alexander Steen, at Vancouver Jan. 10. The choice of a couple of you, a deke and a wicked backhand as he's being hooked to the ice. As I mentioned above, there isn't much in the Leafs vault this year -- lots of McCabe and Tucker one-timers on the PP, and some nice passing combinations courtesy of Sundin, Steen, Allison and Wellwood, primarily, but this is pretty much the only real "whoa!" moment that I know of.

Tim Connolly, Buffalo vs Toronto, Nov. 11. What a nice deke, and finish.

Erik Cole, Carolina at Toronto, Oct. 20. Strong swoop, long-armed half deke and one-handed finish. Pretty.

And from the NHL at large:

Jason Spezza, vs Montreal. Memorable.

Steve Yzerman, at Carolina. He can still do it.

Nik Zherdev, vs Chicago. Especially love the Bobby Orr flourish at the end.

I'm not including shootout goals, 'cause bah, they're a humbug. Thanks to Rivers for the Malik link, though, from earlier in the year, and James Mirtle casts a vote for Jokinen's nifty little brainwave from the weekend which is buried in the NHL package -- JM is doing a far better job digesting this season than this space, including this bit where yes, there is an I in Team after all. I as in Implosion, that is.

We'll keep this open -- More of your favourite goals, please! With video, if possible, and it'll be my dime on the hosting.

(C.Y.)

Ovechkin goal, and a beauty

A great goal (again) from Ovechkin last night. I posted it over on JABS in the morning links, but it's worth putting up over here, with an accompanying link to the game story.

"The best goal I ever scored," he said. "I just went down and shot."

That got me to thinking, on a very busy Tuesday morning around here -- best goals of the year. Leafs division. NHL division. Send me your choices, and why they moved you so.

Meantime, this one from the Leafs front is worrisome, even on the Leafs scale of worry(1--worried, 2--very worried, 3--hide sharp objects worried, all the way up to 10-- suicidal, at least until the next W, when we're back down to 1 or 2): Bryan McCabe, out due to injury for longer than expected, if the rumbles are to be believed. I'd call that a 3.

(C.Y.)

We have a winner! Actually, we have two

Last week I challenged you to come up with a reconstruction of the conversations Islanders owner Charles Wang alluded to on the day he kicked Mike Milbury upstairs:

“Even prior to our current slump, Mike and I had been discussing the next phase for him. I have often challenged him about what he wanted to do when he grows up. Yesterday, Mike came to me and selflessly said that the time had come for a change in the general manager’s seat."

It wasn't exactly a blizzard of entries -- frankly, judging by the lack of response, I think haiku is more up your alley -- but thanks to my own hell week with computers and the confusion it created in my tiny head, we have two winnah winnah chicken dinnahs: Gary Figueira of Toronto and blogdom star Eric McErlain (Off Wing Opinion, of course) down in D.C. and environs.

Gentlemen, I have bobbleheads for you and you will be contacted. To everyone else who entered, thank you and come again! I'll make it easier next time, promise.

And here they are, the winning entries -- first Eric's, which is also available at his blog here:

[FADE UP]
Charles Wang (CW): [Searching inside the Nassau Coliseum] Michael, where are you hiding? Come out, I've got something I want to talk to you about. Michael?
Mike Milbury (MM): Yes, Mr. Wang. [Climbing out from behind home team bench, hair and clothes dishevled with a shoe in his right hand.]
CW: Michael, what are you doing down there? And where's Steve?
MM: He broke my wooby. So I took off his shoe and beat him with it until he went away.
CW: Oh no, Michael, not again! How many times is this going to happen? Did you get hurt this time?
MM: Not really, Steve didn't put up as much of a fight as Peter did.
CW: Peter, Lorne, Butch, Bill, Steve or Rick, what does it matter? You never seem to be able to get along with any of your playmates. [Shakes his head] That's it, I've made up my mind. If you can't share it's time to grow up and let somebody else play with the wooby, Michael!
MM: [SCREAMS and CRIES] NOOOOOOOOOO!
CW: [STERN] Stop it Michael, there's no crying in ice hockey and you know that. Besides, you've had the wooby for 10 years now and you should give somebody else a chance.
MM: [SNIFFLES and WIPES HIS NOSE] I'm sorry.
CW: That's ok Michael. If I can forgive you for the Yashin contract I can forgive anything. Did you really think you would play with the wooby forever?
MM: [PLEADING] But what will I do? Are you going to send me away like I sent away Todd and Brian and Zdeno and Raffi and Olli and Roberto?
CW: [SHAKES HEAD AND SMILES] No, I'd never do that. You know that lifetime employment is a guarantee with me.
MM: [SIGHS, RELIEVED] But if I can't have my wooby, what job will I have?
CW: [PONDERS] Would you like to run an Arena Football team?
MM: That might be fun...
CW: How would you like to build a new arena for the wooby?
MM: [GETTING EXCITED] Yeah...Would you let me play with the wooby in Bridgeport?
CW: Sure, if you want to! Why, I'll even let you watch the Long Island wooby at the practice rink, as long as you promise to leave Brad alone...
MM: [NODDING] You know Mr. Wang, I think it's time for me to give up the wooby. I think it's best for me, and I think it's best for you too. I've had it too long, and it's time to grow up.
CW: [SMILES] Michael, I'm so proud of you! To come to such a decision all on your own, you're really growing up. Now let's go tell the media about your decision.
MM: [LAYS HEAD ON CW's SHOULDER] One more thing, Mr. Wang...
CW: What's that Michael?
MM: Can I have a raise?
CW: Don't push it, kid.
[FADE TO BLACK]

Fantastic stuff there, full of pathos, naked ambition and Adam Sandler as Milbury.

Now it's on to Gary's entry, a gritty, Mametesque journey into the heart of darkness that is the Islanders' home rink:

Charles: Mike, as you know, I am worth kazillions of dollars but because of your work I get a huge tax writeoff for the Islanders. Thanks.
Mike: Uh, thanks Charles, I guess.
Charles: Mike, what exactly were you thinking in giving away Spezza for that soft, overpaid floater Yashin ? Did you not scout him in the Leafs/Senators playoff series since we were not playing, again?
Mike: Charles, I was hoping he would do better in a lower pressure environment.
Charles: Mike, I don't want to insult your intelligence, but weren't Luongo, McCabe, Redden and half the #$%&# Canadian Olympic team on our team at one time?
Mike: Well it's hard to project how players will turn out, Charles.
Charles: Project this Mike, see ya, adios, bye bye, sayonara, au revoir, and you know those pictures you have with me and that sheep, well they are worthless now because I'll just say they are digitally enhanced when you show them to the press.

Rough road ahead

Over the past week or so, the in-and-out performances of the Maple Leafs have led me to make a couple of conclusions -- always a bad idea, I know, given just a couple of games, but I feel I must, Saturday night's laydown at home against Gretzky's Coyotes the one that really frosted my pumpkin:

BERNARD WEIL/CP

Darcy Tucker: Man, the Leafs miss his bite.

1 Back when the season was but a gleam in the eye and this here space was just a bouncing baby blog, Darcy Tucker talked about taking a greater offensive role this season, and he surely has, with a team-best 18 goals. But with his absence against the Coyotes, it's clear he has grown in other ways. The guy's played hurt, taken all kinds of shots and kept getting up. He has clearly outgrown the spit-disturber image he carries around. And without him, there's a whole lot of salt and pepper missing out there, which is a lot more than you can say about Mats Sundin, who has yet to return to his usual form (I guess the next move for him is to throw away the visor, thus reigniting that old debate). Tucker has looked more like the blood-and-guts leader of this team than anyone else.

2 I've avoided so far jumping on the Bryan McCabe bandwagon. But having seen the Leafs without him now for a week, he's a lot more important to the overall success of this team than I had given him credit. That might seem obvious. But it wasn't to me, McCabe's giveaways and defensive zone miscues mitigating the offensive prowess and power play results. The ripple effect down through the Leafs defence corps with McCabe out has resulted in more loose defensive zone coverage than we've seen since back in the early season.

Up until now, the Leafs have seemed fine to me as they negotiated their way through the injuries that are part and parcel of a long pro season -- but with these latest two out in Tucker and McCabe, they appear to be very vulnerable in terms of grit and defence. Couple their absence with a couple of road trips coming up over the next three weeks, and this could be a very bumpy patch ahead.

Some other links from this delightful Planet Blog we live in, as we head into a new week:

James Mirtle has put together an up to date list of hockey blogs -- which is where I found out that Ninja, a regular visitor to these parts, has a new Leafs blog that deserves a regular look-in.

With the Habs going bad the Claude Julien firing was no surprise, says Jeff J at Sisu Hockey.

The Sports Frog notes that the NHL on OLN in the U.S. reaches 214 households in Los Angeles. I'm kind of tired of hearing these kind of numbers, but on a weekend where NBC began its coverage of the NHL, I guess it's going to happen. (And I'd guess further that the figures are pretty similar to what the Raptors draw in Calgary, say.)

And don't look now, but Peter Puck may well be coming out of retirement. Thanks to Eric McErlain for the link, and that reminds me -- I'll be back later today with a post on last week's Mikey Milbury contest, and some prizes to give out.

(C.Y.)

See ya, Mike Milbury

(OH, THIS IS GETTING CONFUSING): Looking at Eric's permalink, and the Star's speakout area where it landed, the one that i NEVER look at 'cause it's usually full of Nigerian oil millionaires looking for somewhere to park their money, I see this came in THURSDAY. My mistake. So now we have THREE bobbleheads to award, TWO of them already spoken for -- Eric, and Gary. Congrats Eric! Way to go Gary! I'm going to stop now. It's been a bad week for me and computers. *head slap*)

(LATER ON FRIDAY): Well, Eric McErlain over at the ever-entertaining Off Wing Opinion has put his name in the hat for one of these here bobbleheads up for grabs -- and it's going to take some doing to top this one, but you've got all weekend, kids, so go to it. Check out Eric's shot at his blog here. Meantime, here's a taste:

CW: Peter, Lorne, Butch, Bill, Steve or Rick, what does it matter? You never seem to be able to get along with any of your playmates. [Shakes his head] That's it, I've made up my mind. If you can't share it's time to grow up and let somebody else play with the wooby, Michael!
MM: [SCREAMS and CRIES] NOOOOOOOOOO!
CW: [STERN] Stop it Michael, there's no crying in ice hockey and you know that. Besides, you've had the wooby for 10 years now and you should give somebody else a chance.
MM: [SNIFFLES and WIPES HIS NOSE] I'm sorry.
CW: That's ok Michael. If I can forgive you for the Yashin contract I can forgive anything. Did you really think you would play with the wooby forever?

(FRIDAY POSTSCRIPT PRESCRIPT: I'm going to keep this one open till Monday, 'cause I found another bobblehead. One of 'em has Gary's name on it, but there's still one more up grabs so people, c'mon. Send in your entries, and have a fun weekend.)

A couple of links, 'cause I'm in a New York state of mind:

AP PHOTO

Wang to co-owner: "That young man Mike. What'll he do when he grows up?"

With reports flying about last night that Mike Milbury was ready to fire another coach, the Islanders as usual have added a novel twist.

Yes, Steve Stirling is out and assistant Brad Shaw is in. But that's Milbury who will step down as well, once a replacement is found, and take a job sharpening pencils and serving as a senior vice-president in the Charles Wang sports operation. Here's owner Wang, announcing the end of Milbury as GM with this lump-in-the-throat confession:

“Even prior to our current slump, Mike and I had been discussing the next phase for him. I have often challenged him about what he wanted to do when he grows up. Yesterday, Mike came to me and selflessly said that the time had come for a change in the general manager’s seat."

Wouldn't you love to have been in on those discussions between daddy Charlie and young Mike?

Tell ya what. Send me your best Mikey and Daddy "conversation" -- put 'em in the drawing room having a heart-to-heart, or in the car as Mikey is getting a ride to hockey practice, or wherever you wanna put 'em discussing whatever it is l'il Mike wants to do when he grows up.

I'll publish the best of 'em tomorrow in this space -- and to the best one (I'll be the judge of that), I've got an official Team Canada Chris Pronger bobblehead doll to award. Knock yourself out.

Oh, and just in case you think that's all that's going on in New York, take the Long Island railroad across the East River and into Manhattan, and they're putting on a big show, Broadway, or at least MSG, giving its regards to Mark Messier after starting it off with a box of Kleenex last night, even the Knicks' Larry Brown getting in on the act. For a selection of links that'll keep you readin' and weepin' till tonight, look no further than Hockeybird.

(C.Y.)

Hey, the Leafs are back

Leafs ended their west coast trip with a loss last night in Vancouver -- at least they outshot the Canucks in a game in which both sides looked less than inspiring.

Leafs obviously missed McCabe, the defence and the power play jittery and out of sorts most of the way -- over at the Battle of Ontario, Meatriarchy figures this night made a case for McCabe as a Hart Trophy candidate -- the PP did click finally in the third, after barely managing a shot in half a dozen previous chances.

Jeff Goode/Toronto Star

Carlo looking like ol' No. 24, shown here with Carl Brewer.

Some questions and random notes about this bunch, with the schedule dark until Saturday when Gretzky's Coyotes come to the ACC, while the home PC goes to the great Pentium in the sky and this page is tickin' overs slowly, slowly:

Yes, Kronwall had a very poor game, including one howler of a giveaway that led to a Vancouver goal, and no one filled the rather large skates of Mr. McCabe, but let's not throw all these defensive babies out with the bath water. Colaiacovo's open-ice hip check on Bertuzzi was an old-school thumper, a thing of beauty like something out of a Brian Glennie time capsule. Surely Carlo is here to stay. Surely he HAS to stay. As for Kronwall, he's beginning to show his inexperience after some fine work earlier in the season, and I guess when McCabe comes back he is the odd man out.

Ten points and a blue and white air kiss to anyone who can tell me what Tie Domi has done lately. I know the Leafs have injury issues. And I'm no huge Marius Czerkawski fan, but surely he deserves time on the struggling No. 1 line ahead of Domi, who blew another great chance in front and missed some shifts last night after going heavily into the boards but returned to inactive duty.

And this means not much, 'cause these two are nowhere near the worst team around. But can the duo of Joe Bowen and Harry Neale date themselves any worse than by name-checking Fred Biletnikoff? The constant Sinatra references I can handle, 'cause pretty much everyone knows the late, original gangsta popster and he's gained universal icon status. But this other dude retired 25 years ago.

Couple of other lunchtime links:

Jes Golbez has the keenly anticipated Armenian Update.

Hockey Pundits has some comment off a link to an ESPN article on the Kovalchuk-Crosby feud, and how it's good for the NHL.

(C.Y.)

Afternoon links, politically speaking

Two Three things before heading out until tomorrow:

Last night's candidates' debate was fodder for regular poster JLo on his spankin' new blog. Using hockey as his reference point for all the leaders, here's his take on Paul Martin:

Mats Sundin, post-eye injury, post-lockout. He is still the natural leader, or at least, he wants to be. But does he still have it?

Still on the political, another regular poster who asked to remain nameless sends along a link to this one, with an apology to the late Bob Marley: Election Song (Yeah, I know it's not sports, but there is some hockey stuff on there as well.)

Oh, and almost forgot ... Over at JABS, I've posted a link worth looking at on ticket options in the sports marketplace. Yeah, that means you can take out an option on a Leafs ticket in the *snicker* Stanley Cup finals.

Still waiting for Raphael to check in...

(C.Y.)

Who is Raphael?

One of the most intriguing stories of the year came out of a practice, of all things, yesterday, at the Canadiens' practice rink in Verdun.

You've probably read about it, by now, a man who is identified only as Raphael hopping over the boards in full equipment and managing to squeeze off two shots on Canadians goalie Jose Theodore before he was turned over to the police, who let him go. The CP version is here, and the Montreal Gazette story (reg. required) had a little more in the way of players' reaction:

"I thought of getting out of the net when he came back and not play to his game. But he had the balls to get on the ice, so I figured I'd let him have a free shot," Theodore said.
His teammates viewed the incident as comical, but all agreed it should never be allowed to transpire again. Defenceman Craig Rivet, closest to Julien as the fan left the ice, said he would have used his stick to defend himself if necessary. Captain Saku Koivu said the fan didn't look strong enough on his skates to inflict any damage.
"It was funny, but also could have been dangerous," Koivu said. "I thought the guy was pulling a joke. Maybe he was a comedian. It's good that nothing happened.
"It's the first time I've seen anything like that, and I've been here 10 years. It should never happen. Now, it doesn't matter. But had he gone after somebody, there could have been endless possibilities.
"We were lucky today."

I guess all those nightmare scenarios would flash through the players' minds. As for me, I'm applauding at least the guy's sincerity -- it's not like he was part of some online casino publicity stunt.

My question is -- who is this Raphael? Anyone know this guy? Raphael, please call home, man -- or email us. Your public wants to talk.

(NOTE: The home PC shut down yesterday, so the blog is going to be acting a little weird the next few days as I use the library Star home office computers. But stay tuned, I'll be posting whenever I can. And because I'm a little pinched right now (Spencer is going on holidays, so I'm helping him out with the editing), I won't be posting a lot of links -- but by all means, send anything over that catches your eye and I can post it.) 

(C.Y.)