z_The Hockey Page - Toronto Star

We have a winner! Actually, we have two

Last week I challenged you to come up with a reconstruction of the conversations Islanders owner Charles Wang alluded to on the day he kicked Mike Milbury upstairs:

“Even prior to our current slump, Mike and I had been discussing the next phase for him. I have often challenged him about what he wanted to do when he grows up. Yesterday, Mike came to me and selflessly said that the time had come for a change in the general manager’s seat."

It wasn't exactly a blizzard of entries -- frankly, judging by the lack of response, I think haiku is more up your alley -- but thanks to my own hell week with computers and the confusion it created in my tiny head, we have two winnah winnah chicken dinnahs: Gary Figueira of Toronto and blogdom star Eric McErlain (Off Wing Opinion, of course) down in D.C. and environs.

Gentlemen, I have bobbleheads for you and you will be contacted. To everyone else who entered, thank you and come again! I'll make it easier next time, promise.

And here they are, the winning entries -- first Eric's, which is also available at his blog here:

[FADE UP]
Charles Wang (CW): [Searching inside the Nassau Coliseum] Michael, where are you hiding? Come out, I've got something I want to talk to you about. Michael?
Mike Milbury (MM): Yes, Mr. Wang. [Climbing out from behind home team bench, hair and clothes dishevled with a shoe in his right hand.]
CW: Michael, what are you doing down there? And where's Steve?
MM: He broke my wooby. So I took off his shoe and beat him with it until he went away.
CW: Oh no, Michael, not again! How many times is this going to happen? Did you get hurt this time?
MM: Not really, Steve didn't put up as much of a fight as Peter did.
CW: Peter, Lorne, Butch, Bill, Steve or Rick, what does it matter? You never seem to be able to get along with any of your playmates. [Shakes his head] That's it, I've made up my mind. If you can't share it's time to grow up and let somebody else play with the wooby, Michael!
MM: [SCREAMS and CRIES] NOOOOOOOOOO!
CW: [STERN] Stop it Michael, there's no crying in ice hockey and you know that. Besides, you've had the wooby for 10 years now and you should give somebody else a chance.
MM: [SNIFFLES and WIPES HIS NOSE] I'm sorry.
CW: That's ok Michael. If I can forgive you for the Yashin contract I can forgive anything. Did you really think you would play with the wooby forever?
MM: [PLEADING] But what will I do? Are you going to send me away like I sent away Todd and Brian and Zdeno and Raffi and Olli and Roberto?
CW: [SHAKES HEAD AND SMILES] No, I'd never do that. You know that lifetime employment is a guarantee with me.
MM: [SIGHS, RELIEVED] But if I can't have my wooby, what job will I have?
CW: [PONDERS] Would you like to run an Arena Football team?
MM: That might be fun...
CW: How would you like to build a new arena for the wooby?
MM: [GETTING EXCITED] Yeah...Would you let me play with the wooby in Bridgeport?
CW: Sure, if you want to! Why, I'll even let you watch the Long Island wooby at the practice rink, as long as you promise to leave Brad alone...
MM: [NODDING] You know Mr. Wang, I think it's time for me to give up the wooby. I think it's best for me, and I think it's best for you too. I've had it too long, and it's time to grow up.
CW: [SMILES] Michael, I'm so proud of you! To come to such a decision all on your own, you're really growing up. Now let's go tell the media about your decision.
MM: [LAYS HEAD ON CW's SHOULDER] One more thing, Mr. Wang...
CW: What's that Michael?
MM: Can I have a raise?
CW: Don't push it, kid.
[FADE TO BLACK]

Fantastic stuff there, full of pathos, naked ambition and Adam Sandler as Milbury.

Now it's on to Gary's entry, a gritty, Mametesque journey into the heart of darkness that is the Islanders' home rink:

Charles: Mike, as you know, I am worth kazillions of dollars but because of your work I get a huge tax writeoff for the Islanders. Thanks.
Mike: Uh, thanks Charles, I guess.
Charles: Mike, what exactly were you thinking in giving away Spezza for that soft, overpaid floater Yashin ? Did you not scout him in the Leafs/Senators playoff series since we were not playing, again?
Mike: Charles, I was hoping he would do better in a lower pressure environment.
Charles: Mike, I don't want to insult your intelligence, but weren't Luongo, McCabe, Redden and half the #$%&# Canadian Olympic team on our team at one time?
Mike: Well it's hard to project how players will turn out, Charles.
Charles: Project this Mike, see ya, adios, bye bye, sayonara, au revoir, and you know those pictures you have with me and that sheep, well they are worthless now because I'll just say they are digitally enhanced when you show them to the press.

History in an unlikely place

Leafs win 2-1 last night in Florida, thanks almost entirely to Ed Belfour, who ties Terry Sawchuk with 447 wins, second on the all-time list of goaltending victories.
A comparison, quickly, on the top three in that category, and the differences are far less than you might expect with all the changes to the NHL since Sawchuk's heyday:

Patrick Roy 1,029 games, 551 wins, 2.54 GAA
Sawchuk    971 gms, 447 W, 2.51
Belfour       871 gms, 447 W, 2.45
Jacques Plante 837 gms, 437 W, 2.38
Tony Esposito 886 gms, 423 W, 2.92
Martin Brodeur 751 gms, 412 W, 2.19
Curtis Joseph 812 gms, 407 W, 2.74
Glenn Hall 906 gms, 407 W, 2.49
Grant Fuhr 868 gms, 403 W, 3.38
Mike Vernon 781 gms, 385 W, 2.97

It's in the much longer playoff season of the contemporary NHL where you really see differences:

Roy 247 gm, 151 W, 2.30 GAA
Sawchuk 106 gm, 54 W, 2.54 GAA
Belfour 161 gm, 88 W, 2.17 GAA
Plante 112 gm, 71 W, 2.14 GAA
Esposito 99 gm, 45 W, 3.07

AP PHOTO

Terry Sawchuk, left, spends a little quality time with a couple of friends, Sid Abel and Stanley.

Now to the links off last night's game. As Paul Hunter points out, the setting around the rink last night was the last place you'd expect hockey history to be made, and the name of Sawchuk to be invoked, "amid the strip malls in the urban sprawl of south Florida in a game that lacked much emotion or excitement."

My take was a little more succinct, but along the same lines: Empty seats, horrible ice, some truly bad penalty calls (including one Olle Jokinen dive that was straight out of the Jurgen Klinsmann stylebook) and that lame snarl over the house p.a. that punctuates every stoppage. This is Gary Bettman's NHL, not mine.

Here's Belfour on Sawchuk: "It's unbelievable to be in the same ballpark as him". And from Rosie DiManno's column, more Belfour: "He was a fierce competitor. He was very acrobatic out there and obviously very brave, not wearing a mask for most of his career. I'm just honoured to be tied with him."

Okay, so the quotage wasn't great. By Belfour's standards, it was Lincolnesque. And just like the Ol' Railsplitter, or Sawchuk in the crease, he's standing tall.

Speaking of down memory lane, here's a little something for ya: Joe Nieuwendyk at 39, skating out his sunset years.

Other stuff: the Sun's Al Strachan riffs on the Leafs' power play; And remember the Mike Danton story? The CBC looks at the case tomorrow night, including some taped conversations that'll make your head shake, reports Chris Zelkovich.
(C.Y.)

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Riding in on Chris's rain-coattails this morning, as we do our morning look around the league for some good links; let's keep with that all-time goalie great theme.

If we pick up on that all-time wins list, there's Curtis Joseph with 407. Tied with Glenn Hall (for now). After a rough training camp, Cujo's quiet start has turned into a full-blown howl, and the calls of MVP are being heard. Last Saturday, Don Cherry called him the best goalie going right now and he might be right.

Joseph's got 11 wins for an inconsistent Coyotes team, to go with a tiny 2.12 GAA and .932 save %. Those are "old" NHL numbers. And they've got Cujo on the Olympic radar.

Wayne Gretzky says Cujo will get full Olympic consideration if he keeps it up, and he should. Gretzky always says he'll take the players who are playing best at the time (hello Mr. Pronger, Mr. Blake, Mr. Niedermayer -- Mr. McCabe is in the waiting room) so why not Joseph? (SW)