I don't have a "religion", per se.
I was born into a Roman-Catholic family but like many of those born in the 1980s and beyond, I left the proverbial flock in high school when I was introduced to dystopian fiction by a bass-playing atheist boy at a university party I had sneaked into behind my mother's back. (sorry mom.)
As far as traditional deities go, I can't say I really believe in any. But I do believe in you, Internet.
I can't see you with my eyes, but I know you're all around me.
Omnipresent, all-knowing, mysterious - capable of feats incomprehensible to most human minds.
Not even Superman himself can simultaneously throw 40 million gigabytes of information in billions of directions around the globe at the speed of light. Though, given that said data in its simplest form would weigh approximately fifty-six millionths of a gram, it wouldn't exactly be too heavy for him... but I digress.
Superman is not a traditional god, and neither are you, Internet. You are simply of the most powerful positive forces I have ever known. Negative, too.
Theoretically, you occupy less space than a single grain of sand - yet your physical contribution to the ecology of our planet is equal to that of a small country.You exist in time and place, transcending these boundaries at the same time to become timeless and aspatial.
A sprawling geographical entity contained within an atomic
whisper. A mystery wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a Twinkie.
Some might argue that in a (arguably) post-religious Western society, you're bigger than God. Than all of the gods.
With 4.2 billion unique worshipers housed on more than 44 million servers, they might be right.
We pray to you in ones and zeros at the altars of our own choosing, in temples as varied as they are the same. University computer lab church. Wi-fi enabled coffee shop church. Parents' basement gaming station church. iPhone on the streetcar church. Church church.
Until blood is shed in the Mac vs. PC debate, I can safely say that we don't wage wars over your holy lands, because there are none.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if you went away. A technological apocalypse. An iPocalypse? No. Despite what Flash developers say, Steve Jobs is not the Devil.
I love you dear Internet, but I'm not afraid to lose you, for I know that if you ever went away, civil society would evaporate too - and a post-digital world would probably have to involve Brad Pitt or Mark Wahlberg or (dare I dream?) Leonardo DiCaprio restoring world order with an epic series of high octane adventures.
As much as I do worship you, dear Internet, I am but a mere mortal. And I love me some Leo :)
Lauren O’Neil is a Star intern and recent graduate of the Master of Arts - Journalism program at the University of Western Ontario. She is rarely, if ever, spotted without a pink Blackberry in her hand and is fluent in both HTML and English. Please follow her on Twitter so that she can continue to build up her mad social media cred @laurenonizzle.