Home field disadvantage

Turns out the Patriots got an extra 52 seconds of p.t. in their last-second win in Pittsburgh on Sunday. The time-honoured rule in sports is that the home team gets the benefit of the clock, but not in this case. Be interesting to see if Bill Cowher pulls a Darrell Walker and demands that heads roll.
Oh, and in more NFL news, another MNF dozer.

What with Stumpython coming up later today, we're serving up an order of links with your morning coffee today:

Jays and Red Sox rained out yesterday, so that means (drum roll) a doubleheader today!
Maybe we'll get to see Mike Timlin.

More on the NFL coming to Toronto: a/next year; b/after 2007; c/a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away; d/when Michael Flatley lines up at wide receiver for the Bengals.

In the UK, there's a movement afoot to legalize handguns for the Olympics. For the athletes, that is.

Sir Alex is feeling stroppy these days. And yes, that's Arsene Wenger off in the distance, snickering offering solace. The Champions League must be back, and look who's on the menu.

AL pennant races: Yankees win, Red Sox rained out (Yanks by a half-game); White Sox lose, Indians idle (Chicago by two); Angels beat A's, can clinch division title tonight; Wild-card:  Indians by a half-game over Boston.

Missed it by That Much

We're getting ready here for tomorrow's Stumpython (see previous post). Y'know how it goes. Timbits. Cheesies. Bologna and Kraft slices on a toothpick. No-name pop. And lots of bunting.
We're already getting some comments, too. Okay, we got one. BFerg, thanks man, but save that jones for tomorrow around noon. We might even have some prizes to give out, if anything lying around my desk looks expendable.
We also have to take care of the usual stuff as well, though, because it's what we do. And what would a news cycle be without Paris Hilton? Cavorting with Jeremy Roenick. Oh man, Philly was never like that, was it, J-Ro?

Tonight, we're watching: Jays at Red Sox (7 pm, Sportsnet). It's time, I reckon, for Curt Schilling to break out the bloody sock. This AL East race -- and the wild-card -- have gotta be the most fun going in sports these days. Outside of the Stumpython, that is. 

Not watching: Poker: Comics vs Pros (10 pm, Guy TV). Never in a skillion years. Besides, given this news, GSN should be turning over its entire prime-time schedule to reruns of Get Smart, Check it Out! and The Nude Bomb. Okay, maybe not those last two.

Stumpython: It's On!

We’re going Steve Thomas crazy tomorrow at noon, and on till 1:30 or so, at this here JABS blog, the traffic light at the corner of sports and obsession.

It’s the Stumpython, and it works like this. You tell us, in 50 words or less, why dynamo Steve Thomas just has to make the Leafs squad this season. Or why the 42-year-old is yesterday’s news and should be left off.

Or perhaps you have a favourite Stumpy moment to relate, your personal highlight package of memories. Say you met him in a restaurant once – tell us the story. Recall Stumpy's entree, if you like.

We’ll pick the best ones, keeping the hot cyberstove boiling, and we’ll have Stumpy-related trivia to throw at you to keep that Stumpy fever at bay with another dose of preseason hockey tomorrow night.

Stumpython – tell your friends it's not quite the Leafs Lunch (we prefer to call it the dog’s breakfast). Tell them to be there. Actually, be here.

And here's a couple of snippets to go with your lunchtime crumpets:

The Bills have lost defensive anchor Takeo Spikes for the season.

Those halftime marching bands ought to come with a warning label (reg. required). 

NFL in Toronto

This just in from the Sports Business Daily's Morning Buzz:

"With the 49ers-Cardinals game next Sunday in Mexico City marking the NFL’s first int’l regular-season game, the league’s London office today “will convene a press conference outside Wembley Stadium,” featuring former NFLer William “The Refrigerator” Perry, to lobby for an ‘06 regular-season game to be played in the city. NFL Senior Dir of Int'l Public Affairs Pete Abitante said that groups in Toronto, Tokyo and several German cities “also are considering putting together bids” to host regular-season games (SPORTSBUSINESS JOURNAL, 9/26 issue)."

So what about it? Seems quite sketchy, but if this trial balloon ever comes to anything, would this city go for a regular season NFL game -- at regular season NFL prices?

A weekend on the run

Draftmas, hockey division, is looming. You’re on the clock with your first-round fantasy league pick. Who do you take – Heatley or Spezza?

And on the subject of fantasy sports, are you ready for some of this?

Some other notes cobbled together from over the weekend begin with the Argos, who way back when on Friday vanished like that jackrabbit into the Prairie night. What if the Argos got the kind of scrutiny the Leafs receive? Where would the blame start after this one?  Kent Austin’s play-calling? An offensive line that had Olderthanmethuselah (let's call him OTM from now on) barely surviving the night, he was so harried? A defence whose critical penalties at the end of the first half helped set up the Riders’ comeback as much as Austin’s play-calling? I think Pinball Clemons said it best:

"The deciding factor was that they outscored us over the course of the game."

Yeah. Funny how it usually works that way.

Oh, the Presidents Cup is over, having proved that yes, Fred Couples can still swing a mean mashie.

The Indy Colts won again -- with defence. Wish they had have told us they'd be doing this before the football version of Draftmas came and went.

I know that TV football announcers have it hard, what with all that air to fill. But how did this one from Steve Tasker slip through quality control? "It's always funner when you win."

The Jays are heading into Boston now, getting a second up-close look at a team involved in a real, live pennant race. Less than a week to go, and it looks like this: Yanks and Boston tied; Chicago up by 2 1/2 over Cleveland; LA Angels almost home and cooled out; wild-card: Indians hanging in, a half-game up on Boston and NY.

Oh, and yesterday 10,000 skinny, sweaty, stinky people took over the downtown, and we’re not talking about Word in the Street. This was the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon -- you can read Donovan Vincent’s report here. As one of the 10,000, I won’t bore you with a blog post – is there anything duller than a runner talking shop to a non-runner? -- except to relate a perfect moment half an hour before the starting horn went off, when an older Sikh fellow with a number pinned to his shirt stopped to chat. “Tell me,” he said. “How long is this marathon?”

On the PVR: Curb Your Enthusiasm, season premiere. Okay, ever since that episode in Dodger Stadium, this qualifies as sports. Sort of.

Your weekend beckons

I don't know how it happened, but we missed one this morning -- Martha Burk (remember her? Think hard now. Think, The Masters. Hootie. Ding! Now you got it). The chairwoman of NOW doesn't like the NHL's new ad campaign:

"The woman is dressed provocatively and when she asks the player if he's ready, it's a double-entendre in my view. She's in the ad as a groomer, a sex object."

I haven't seen the segment yet, and wasn't really planning on it, but I'm sure to now -- hope it's work-safe. But I've got a problem with the ad campaign already. It's that My NHL slogan. Surely we can come up with a better one before this weekend is up (from puckupdate, via Deadspin -- Thanks, folks).

And to join in my collection of bobbleheads, I so want this, Santa: A Wayne Rooney action figure.

There's a world championship going on in Vegas this weekend (Maybe it's just me, but I'll rent the movie instead).

And just in case the Presidents Cup has you all revved up, here's some domestic minigolf for you.

We're watching: It's the weekend so it's PIP time. Tonight, it's the Jays at the hated Yankees (7 p.m., Sportsnet), cutting into and leading to Argos at the Green Riders (9 P.M., TSN) -- actually, they're the only Riders now. Saturday it's the Leafs in Montreal (7 p.m., Leafs TV) and the unbeaten B.C. Lions at Edmonton (7 p.m., CBC; still trying to figure out the soundtrack for this one -- suggestions?). Sunday, we'll hold our breath and hope that one of those 4 p.m. NFL games (Patriots at Steelers; Randy Moss at T.O.) actually holds our attention. 

We're not watching: 2003 World Series of Poker (ESPN Classic, Saturday, 7 p.m.). I love this station because you never know what you're going to get -- the 1984 Samoan Crab Wrestling Finals, say, or a Brian Bosworth retrospective. I'm a sucker for those old Sports Hot Seat shows, too, with Pat, Wilbur, John Wells and the late, great Jack Donohue on a set that looks like it's going to fall over if anyone breathes too hard. Now that's CLASSIC. But poker? From 2003?   

We put the pig in pigskin

What's this? A quarterback controversy in Buffalo?

Now there's something new. I take everything I read on PFT's Rumor Mill with a Nate Newton-sized pinch of salt. But it's Buffalo. It's crazy. Forget wings. It's beef-on-weck, Bowling for Dollars, Irv Weinstein tossing to the Late Show nuts. (Memo to Bills, from a Browns fan who knows: don't go to Kelly Holcomb until you have to).

Any such shifting sure would liven up matters in Orchard Park, however -- and around the league, one would hope. This hasn't been any kind of bowl-you-over start to this NFL season. Peyton Manning and the Indy offence is in drydock. The Patriots had Carolina right where they wanted last week, and then wilted. The prime-time games have been damp fizzles -- if you managed to stay up for the end of last Monday's Redskins-Cowboys thriller, congrats on hanging around for that last three minutes' worth of action, and by the way, how much did you have riding on it?

We'll be watching again this weekend, 'cause that's what we do. But we'll also be watching somewhere else. The best football game on the planet this weekend figures to be played in Edmonton tomorrow night. The unbeaten Lions against the second-place Eskimos, in front of a full Commonwealth Stadium house, with autumn in the air. This should have it all, including a fair amount of mud on the unis, something those Colts never seem to pick up, at least while playing in their antiseptic dome.

In keeping with giving you something for your clicks, here's five Pro-Line plays to ponder for this weekend. I know you didn't ask for them, but it's Friday, which means the Linebacker, and Chris Schultz, and a lot of other guys a lot smarter than me are doing it -- so why not here? Why not now?

On with the suggestions, with the usual caveats (entertainment purposes only, not to be used as the basis for any yadda etc.):

New Orleans V win at Minnesota (2.6): Lookalikes -- Vikings coach Mike Tice and the inflatable emergency co-pilot from Airplane! (Thanks Greg!)

Winnipeg V win at Montreal (4.5): That Don Matthews. This week he's going to decline the touchdown and go for an egg-white omelette instead.

Cleveland V win+ at Indy (7.5): It's a reach, sure, but nobody noticed this preseason pearl from that gridiron sage Romeo Crennel either: "If you hold the other guy to zero at halftime, you've got a real good chance of being at least even."

San Diego H win vs. Giants (1.7): The Giants don't do road games.

Tampa Bay V win at Green Bay (1.7): Brett Favre, still threatening retirement.

And in other news:

White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen says he'll retire if his team wins the World Series. "It's like starting a sentence, 'if Paris Hilton becomes a nun,'" writes Rick Morrissey.

Meanwhile, some football of a different kind, and a question: Has anyone in sports had a debut worse than this one? Any candidates spring to mind?

Nothing like a good rant in the morning

If I’m John Ferguson Jr. this morning, I’m reaching for the Pepto. Kyle Wellwood scores two goals and sparkles in a preseason win over the Habs, and after the game he says this:

“I definitely don’t think I’m going to make the team.”

What a hockey culture here in the CoHU, where a 42-year-old without a contract is cheered whenever he touches the puck, and a promising kid who might be on the cusp of the big time – and we’ll never know until he gets the chance -- has already resigned himself to losing out. (For all your hockey notes and a chance to rant yourself, go here).

Same goes for Alex Steen. Matt Stajan.

Nothing against Steve Thomas, but the Leafs have to start giving the young thoroughbreds a real chance, instead of this spirit-breaking charade. (For a start, Ferguson should be running down to the dressing room at practice this morning, telling Wellwood he’s wrong -- because you know Pat Quinn ain't about to do it.)

I thought Rick Vaive was going to step up to the plate on the Leafs broadcast and hit one over the wall last night, but it turned out to be just a stand-up double. Ricky, man, we need you. You’ve been a 50-goal scorer -- three times, a shining beacon during the darkest of the Ballard years, just the kind of guy this team could need come February when they’re flailing around on tired legs and the only thing notable is the injury list. You’ve got the cred. You could be the voice of reason. Amid the pumping and stumping for Marchment and Thomas – somebody finally thought to give Gary Green his own microphone, a clear case of subtraction by addition -- there was Vaive, noting that the Leafs need the kids more than ever in this new-look, faster-paced NHL. Kehoe finished off by asking the question: “How much ice time is a young guy going to get with a coach who is very loyal to his veterans?”

I think Kyle Wellwood just gave us the answer.

In case you missed it: Who spiked Raffy Palmeiro’s sarsparilla? Not me, says Miguel Tejada.

On the PVR: These final days of the American League are gruesomely compelling, in a Milhouse-contemplating-lines-in-a-parking-lot kind of way (“I fear to watch, yet I cannot turn away”). Every night we put ‘em in the wash, and every night one sock -- Red, White, it doesn’t matter -- is sacrificed by the sock gods. Last night it was the Pale Hose (again). Chicago's tale of woe: bases loaded, one out in the ninth at home against the going-nowhere Twins, and nothing; two on, one out in the 10th – and silence. Home fans streamed for the parking lot as Minny scored three in the 11th. Even Sox broadcaster Hawk Harrelson is making like the human mute button these days: “I tell ya. The way we have pitched, the way we have hit, the way we have fielded, we really don’t deserve any better than we’re getting.”

The standings: Yankees win, Red Sox idle but lose closer Keith Foulke for the year (Yanks up by one game); Chicago loses, Cleveland wins (White Sox by 1 ½); LA Angels win, Oakland idle (Angels by 2 ½) … Wild-card: Indians by 1 ½ over Boston).

Evening fare

Rafael Palmeiro’s retirement testimonial just got smaller. A report in the Baltimore Sun says that Palmeiro fingered a teammate as his ‘roids supplier during closed-door testimony in his defence. Palmeiro was planning to return to the Orioles for the final weekend of games, but somehow I think that’s off now.

Oh, and this is breaking news. Or maybe just news. Oh, let's just tell you: The Onion has added a sports page. Yeah, the site with headlined stories like "Pro Athlete Lauded for being Decent Human Being, "Wrestling Announcer Can't Believe What He's Seeing" and numerous other scoops has decided it's time for a sports divison. And about time, I say!

As for tonight:

We’re watching: Leafs vs. Habs (Leafs TV, 7:30 p.m.). What else? Forget that rivalry stuff. This is the preseason. I just want to see if Jason Allison actually exists (and if you’ve been keeping up with the Hockey Page, you already know the answer to that).

We’re not watching: Palmer Cup highlights (Golf Channel, 8 p.m.). Jesse is cut by the Giants and this is the best he can do? He was The Bachelor, for pete’s sake. Oh, it says the Palmer Cup. Never mind.

Tiger Who?

The Presidents Cup is not the Ryder Cup, says Ian Baker-Finch:

"I hope it doesn't become as combative as the Ryder Cup, personally."

What a pity. Try as they might to turn this into a competition that the rest of us casuals might watch, instead you have Jack Nicklaus, captain of the home team U.S., saying that the visitors shouldn't be out there signing autographs, thereby making his apple-cheeked boys "look like jerks." As The Star's Dave Perkins drily notes: "This is not something many U.S. players often need help with."

You have Baker-Finch, the assistant captain of Internazionale -- now doesn't that sound better than the Internationals -- blandly declaring that he likes it just the way it is.

Echoes of the past, where you have Tiger Woods getting in a snit because one of Inter's caddies came out wearing a Tiger Who? cap. The nerve! "I thought it wasn't real respectful," Woods was quoted in The Australian.

Fellas, it's a competition. That means fans, some of whom might ask for autographs. It means fair play -- and some gamesmanship. It means a little talk -- even if it is trashy at times.

Nobody says it has to be the Ryder Cup with its rah-rah jingoism and its blonde-haired brides lining the green. But it sure needs something other than this kind of stone-faced solemnity.

Vaguely related:

Is golf a sport? The Sports Law Blog wonders whether that, and other sporting questions -- including, shootout fans, the significance of the tie in the NHL -- could be one day answered by robots. (And to add to the discussion, what about the rouge in the CFL? What about Don Cherry's popularity?)