See you in 2006

I'm off to holidays, returning early in '06.
But after today's craziness wiped out a proper farewell -- the explanation for the blog troubles is over at the Hockey Page -- here's an abbreviated version, sort of a combination of the usual end-of-week drill with an end-of-year spin.

One last read: In May, Aki Riihilahti put a crushing loss into perspective in this Times column (I couldn't go back that far in their archives without paying, so it's linked here at his website). My choice for best read of the year.

One last look: '70s underwear ads featuring top athletes of the day (next time someone starts going on about retro, throw that Pete Rose as Cro-Magnon Man at 'em, and thanks to Mr. Irrelevant for the tip).

One last laugh: That funny Skeets kid is at it again. He finds a journal. He listens in at the high school dance.

Watching: Leafs at Senators, Saturday, 7 pm, CBC, cutting in to Broncos at Bills, 8:30 pm, TSN. The first is obvious, and in the second, there's always the possibility of a drunken snowball war in the stands.

Not watching: Green Bay at Baltimore, Monday, 9 pm, ABC. They gotta be kidding.

Punters corner: Last one of the year, 'cause when I come back it's the end of the gambling NFL season and the corner won't be back till next NFL gambling season begins anew. Let's cut to the chase:

OTT H+ win (2.0) over TOR. NHL marks increase in projected revenues by unveiling new My NHL 'Warrior' ad featuring Gary Bettman being dressed for work by Ted Saskin.

DEN V+ win (1.6) over BUF. Latest from Buffalo rumour mill: Marv Levy to return to Bills; Chuck Dickerson to be exhumed, return to afternoon radio slot and redefine term "dead air".

STL H win (1.8) over PHI. Terrell Owen birthday bash highlighted by spirited games of Pin the Tail on the Ho, and Rosenhaus May I?

CIN V+ win (1.5) over DET. From Monday's Jeopardy!:
Alex: Riverdance is correct, Chad, and it's still your turn.
Chad from Cincinnati: I'll take old jokes for $800, Alex.
Alex: T. Houshmandzadeh ... Chad?
Chad: What does T.J. Houshmandzadeh announces he is shortening his name to?
Alex: You're right!

CHI H+ win over (2.5) ATL. ESPN to air halftime retrospective on Kyle Orton's beard.

All the best. Peace.

Not the Sim Old Game

Rick Westhead writes a good yarn today, about the CFL's attempts to develop a computer-game version of three-down football. Sounds easy, right?

Not so. Game makers and CFL official Jim Neish say developing a CFL game costs at least $5 million (U.S.). What's more, even if the league's sponsors like Rona, Sony and WestJet Airlines helped to cover the cost of a CFL game, the league still wouldn't be home free. It simply hasn't been able to find a producer willing to take the time to invest in a CFL title.

The virtual Vince is a real gamer.

It doesn't take a genius to recognize how important, perhaps even essential, the sim version of the real game on the field has become (and how it sells products and helps create and market superstar athletes and perhaps even develop fans, and on and on -- where would Vince Carter be without it?). A recent survey by Mediamark Research noted that gaming is the top online activity among kids aged 6 to 11. For better or for worse, top sellers like Madden 06 have become a doorway to sports fandom.

But despite offshoots (NCAA and the non-NFL sanctioned Blitz among the football titles) and the adaptability of the technology -- on EA's NHL 2006 game, rules, scoring, lineups and other options can be adjusted (though not rink size, as far as I know) -- the CFL has yet to enter this arena even in a piggyback kind of arrangement.

These games are a money maker, but the marketers Westhead talks to aren't sure this one would be a go:

Game makers are skeptical that the CFL game would garner enough sales, especially in the U.S. market where Electronic Arts also makes a college football title, to make its development worth their while.

As someone who's just a little too old to have been around for the wave of computer games that began around 1989, when the first version of Madden arrived -- okay, I'm much too old, though I do recall being hooked on Jumpman, getting over it before Michael Jordan turned it into a trademark -- I'm probably the wrong guy to ask about this. But there's two things here that makes me pause.

The first is that you can't go cheap on something like this, you can't do it half-assed, or you end up looking silly. The second is that the conceit behind computer games is matching up against Ray Lewis or Tiger Woods or Mario Lemieux -- the biggest, baddest and best in the world. The CFL is an entertaining, wacky brand of football, but few would ever contend it's the home of the world's fastest and strongest athletes. To the gaming audience, playing a CFL computer game might well be like going up against the Nationwide Tour, or the Belfast Giants "ice hockey" team.

Still, it's hard not to wish them well and if it does ever come to pass, the payoff would be huge. As one of my regular e-mailers is never shy to point out, the CFL's TV ratings destroy the NBA in Canada. If only they could grab some of the association's video-game coolness, they'd be going somewhere quite new.      

A Keane landing, a Cuba stranding

Here's the links, scoured and scraped clean (sort of like me, actually):

Roy Keane has landed at Celtic, signing an 18-month deal today. He'll debut for the Bhoys on New Year's Day. And on another soccer note, 18-year-old Scarborough native Jonathan de Guzman is turning heads in Holland -- and is at the centre of a tug-of-war between Canada and the Netherlands for his national team services.

The U.S. treasury department has ruled that the evil Godless Communists from Cuba won't be allowed into the upcoming World Baseball Classic.

Joe Paopao willl serve as Hamilton's offensive co-ordinator for Greg Marshall, who was given an extension yesterday.

Raptors let the No. 22-ranked shooting team in the NBA come into their house and shoot 58 per cent. It's Chris Bosh against the world, writes Dave Feschuk. Meantime, there are plenty of rumours out there involving Ron Artest, even a howler involving the Raptors, but Jermaine O'Neal, who's giddy at Ron-Ron going, figures he knows what the Pacers need.

Counting down to Turin: world champion moguls skier Jennifer Heil finishes second in France, while skeleton racer and TV commercial pitchwoman Michelle Kelly is out of Olympic contention.

The coach behind those mock executions at an Australian athletes' "boot camp" has been censured.

The 1-iron is on the verge of extinction, and Jason Sobel of ESPN has this exquisite eulogy, including a great line from the late, great Jim Murray: "The only time I ever took out a 1-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a seven to do that."

SI's Alexander Wolff, one of the sharpest of hoops scribes around, has started his own  basketball franchise in the 21st century version of the ABA: coming soon, the Vermont Frost Heaves.

Today's Milt Dunnell: Northern Dancer's Derby, and a story why Bill Shoemaker gave up the winning mount for the runner-up.

More for the Christmas Book List

I think we're just about there with this, but I'll keep it open up until the end of the week, so any more submissions, send 'em in.
The original starting point of a dozen titles can be found here, then there were some more here, and author/rock star/hockeyist Dave Bidini's favourites are here.
Now for the latest adds, first one from Garth Woolsey, who does an annual roundup of the year's best in sports books for the Star:

Sunday Money, by Jeff MacGregor. Garth: "My choice for MVB (Most Valuable Book) of 2005. Outrageously entertaining. Shades of Tom Wolfe and Hunter S. Thompson, gone gonzo on gas fumes."

Here's a foursome from Ken Owen I inadvertently missed out on adding before, with his comments:

The Boys of Summer, by Roger Kahn. Obvious, I guess, but still excellent.
Triumph and Tragedy in Mudville, by Stephen Jay Gould. A collection of Gould's writings on baseball, that is wide-ranging and very enjoyable. The fact that they are article length makes it easy to dip in and out of, too.
The Bases Were Loaded (And So Was I), by Tom Callahan. Some chapters are absolutely stupendous, I particularly enjoyed his portrait of Pete Rose.
Addicted, by Tony Adams. Former England captain and Arsenal star writing about his battle with alcoholism. Much better than your run-of-the-mill autobiography.

I've got these three to go up, one of 'em not really a book, but a gift subscription:

Wilt, 1962, by Gary M. Pomerantz. I just picked this up at a book sale, an utterly engrossing read on Wilt Chamberlain's 100-point night, and how it saved the NBA.

The Rivalry, by John Taylor. Chamberlain's duels with Bill Russell are an essential part of NBA lore, and this is a natural snuggled up next to Wilt, 1962 on the shelf.

When Saturday Comes. 'Zine has been around for 20 years or so, and is a lot slicker than it used to look, but it still delivers good commentary from real fans of the game.

Got more? We've got the major sports covered pretty good. But no golf. Fine with me, actually, but it seems a shame given the quality of literature on the game -- which brings us, in closing, to the late George Plimpton's small ball theory of sports literature, and Herbert Warren Wind.

Riles and Shaq

Links here, get your links here, get 'em while they're hot. Okay, warm. Lukewarm? Fine. Get 'em while they're lukewarm. Turning to tepid:

Pat Riley is back on the sideline, just as Shaq makes his first start for the Heat since injuring his ankle early this season. But it's no coincidence, no sirree, not at all.

Tim Montgomery has received a two-year suspension and his 100-metre world record has been wiped out of the books.

The A's acquire Milton Bradley and trot out the old "it's a clean slate" line.

Alex Ferguson sounds more and more desperate, and Jose Mourinho is being investigated for being, well, Jose Mourinho (Ferguson, Mourinho, Pat Riley -- there's a paranoia triactor ripped from the headlines this week).

In the wake of the latest Di Canio outbreak, Lazio teammate Ousmane Dobo says he's outta there, and UEFA is talking about anti-racism sanctions, including club bans from domestic and international competition.

And here's something special: Longtime Star columnist Milt Dunnell, now retired, turns 100 on Christmas Eve, and the Star is publishing 10 of his most memorable missives. Today's is from 1951, and Bobby Thomson's "Shot Heard Round the World" with a 2005 commentary looking back from Dunnell. Outstanding.

(I'm afraid I'm home sick and unless something momentous happens I'll be back later today with an update on the Christmas Book List and leave it at that. Tomorrow will be better, I promise.)

Bosh an entirely new kind of Raptor

First, congratulations go out today to Raptorblog, winner of something called a Canadian blog award. Well deserved, that, and if you go over there, Scott's got an acceptance speech.

On another Raptor note, I’ll leave aside Sam Mitchell’s beyond-my-limited-comprehension substitution pattern – um, he doesn’t have one, far as I can see -- and the upcoming anniversary of the easiest $10 million Alonzo Mourning ever made.

CP PHOTO

Get that garbage out of here, says Chris Bosh.

Instead, some numbers for you:

Raptors annual leaders, FT attempts

(minimum 25 games/season)

95-96 D Stoudamire 70 gms/296 FTA = 4.23 avg
96-97 D Stoudamire 81/401 = 4.95
97-98 D Stoudamire 49/212 = 4.33
98-99 V Carter 50/268 = 5.36
99-00 V Carter 82/551 = 6.72
00-01 V Carter 75/502 = 6.69
01-02 V Carter 60/307 = 5.12
02-03 A Davis 53/280 = 5.28
03-04 V Carter 73/417 = 5.71
04-05 C Bosh 81/542 = 6.69

05-06 C Bosh 21/175= 8.33

Watching Chris Bosh of late is like seeing the arrival of an exotic new species of player in Toronto. He hinted at this after Vince Carter was traded away last year. Now he's blossoming into a stud forward, and one reflection of that are these free-throw numbers (which also quite neatly show Carter's decline as a driving force).

This is pretty elemental stuff, but it's a number that's often overlooked and I haven't seen a whole lot being made of Bosh being ranked ninth in the NBA in this category. Get to the line and you’re getting the ball from your teammates and respect from the referees, you're man enough to take some mauling and you’re getting noticed by the opposition, who either have to send an extra man which opens up the offence or try and play you straight up and deal with the fouls they're going to take, and the Charlotte Bobcats had all kind of trouble figuring that one out on Saturday night.

Bosh’s numbers are rising, too, with 85 free throws in the seven games since Jalen Rose was taken out of the starting lineup. If Mitchell has done something very right this season, this was the move. Bosh is slowly getting comfortable handling Rose's job of last season of finishing games with the ball in his hands, and the Raptors have won three games and lost four (one of those in overtime on the road) – merely mediocre, for sure, but a couple steps away from the historical abyss they were looking into a couple of weeks ago.

Over at Raptorblog, Scott has been grousing at times about Bosh’s interior defence, but I have no problem there. He doesn’t have the luxury of playing alongside even a stopgap centre. He's getting service from an NBA rookie point guard who's still finding his way.

No wonder Phil Jackson was making those goo-goo eyes.

Pat the Rat

The morning links -- Taste great, more filling:

Another Monday Night Football snoozer, but not so refreshing for Michael Vick, perhaps.

Stan Van Gundy resigns from the Heat for "family reasons" -- Count Dave Feschuk and Mike Wise among the many non-believers as "Pat the Rat" moves in.

NBA hot stove gets a little hotter on Thursday, and Babcock says "nothing's untouchable" with the Raptors. Yeah, we found that out about this time last year, Robbie Boy, and it's a little worrisome to hear it again given how that worked out.

Paolo Di Canio's at it again, giving the fascist salute as he came off Sunday. Here's a reposting of a good Cathal Kelly piece from last winter on racism in European soccer and Di Canio, former ultra and all-round idiot.

20 more reasons to hate Chelsea, and chances are you can hum along with most of 'em whether ya like it or not (thanks to Ireland's Internet Commentator for the link).

Missed this yesterday, perhaps because I'm conflicted about posting something that, on our side of the Atlantic, might seem a bit irrelevant. But what is really irrelevant about an owner of a sports team, pulling the curtain back on the stuff we never get to see?

And from the weekend, the latest from The Collected Works of Donald Stewart Cherry:

A little something for the kids.
A little something for the kids.
Pick up the lights.
99-cent store
and it cost two and a quarter,
howzat work?

Vancouver.

I've known since he was a kid:
Two good Canadian boys going at it.

... Pokahosky ...

I just thought I'd throw that to make all the pinkos mad
And I've known those kids since they were kids.

Updating the Christmas Book List

JABS' original Christmas Book list post got some additions last week courtesy of Ken Owen and John Richardson, and gets more now -- and a very special set it is.

Dave Bidini, a reader of JABS and a man of many talents, sends along his all-time favourite hockey books to help you with your shopping for the sports (and especially hockey) fan in your life (thanks, Dave! Oh, and I pulled the pdf file to a chapter from Dave's The Best Game You Can Name, one of the additions on the JABS list, from the Rheostatics website):

Phil Esposito: Thunder and Lightning, by Esposito with Peter Golenblock. Superfunny and profane with the appropriate cast of characters. Honest, and just a little sad.

They Call Me Gump, by Lorne (Gump) Worsley with Tim Moriarit. Deadpan humour and sordid 70s stories (also includes a recipe for Gump's Pineapple Squares).

War On Ice: Canada in International Hockey, by Scott Young. Triumphant, scholarly, and gentle-voiced. About Canadian international hockey since the beginning of time.

Pal Hal, by Dick Beddoes. The King Lear of hockey tales. Visciously brilliant and acerbic.

Hero of the Play, by Richard Harrison. Reprinted recently, a rich collection from Canada's greatest hockey poet.

The Death of Hockey, by Klein and Reif. Witty, portentous, acute. As critical as it is loving.

The Mad Men of Hockey, by Trent Frayne. Wild, dark and true. A lost classic.

King Leary, by Paul Quarrington. Best Canadian hockey novel of all-time. A rollercoaster narrative with a wild gallery of characters.

Toast of the Rock

The morning links, and a good morning it is:

Time to start thinking Olympian thoughts, and Lord tunderin' Jesus, but Newfoundland's Brad Goshue is the toast of the Rock this morning. And in the best line of the weekend, Dave Perkins asks if the world is ready for the Shrewd of Turin.
Still on things cold, and Beckie Scott wins gold in B.C.

The Colts are at 13-0 and Mike Ditka (and everyone else, I reckon) wants to see a perfect season (along with some really expensive champagne on ice sitting in the fridge going flat on those '72 Dolphins and their annoying tradition).

Thanks to e-mailer Jeffrey Mahardi, who sent in a couple of links on Australia's debate as the Socceroos make ready for the World Cup: should the game be called soccer (yes, say the Aussie Rules people) or football (yay to that, says the soccer, er, football crowd)?

WIth his former club staggering around, Roy Keane is just about ready for Real Madrid.

In the NBA, Ron Artest wants to be traded. To the Knicks, yet. Silly man.

(Almost) Live: The World Cup draw

FIFA says there will be 350 million TV viewers for this 2006 World Cup draw, and even if the number is a fiction, as these figures always are, it's an impressive fiction -- double the fictional audience for the Super Bowl, for instance, and judging by the equally reliable web count, 349,999,967 more than will be checking in here at JABS. The spam in the mailbox indicates we do tend to get a lot of rich, desperate Nigerians, so perhaps they'll turn up to swell the numbers.

I'll be keeping track of the essentials here: the groups, the schedule, the words, the leiderhosen and most importantly, the drinking game, our operative trigger phrase being "Group of Death," or as they say in Leipzig, Todesgruppe.

AP PHOTO

Chronicles of Leipzig: The Lion, Heidi Klum, and the the prize.

And beware. These things have a habit of taking a while to get going. Anytime Sepp Blatter grabs a microphone, you'll get a special Blatter Up! indicator alerting you that it's okay to go to the fridge and make a sandwich, catch up on your email, shovel some snow, etc. According to the BBC website, the draw proper won't start until 3:21 p.m.! That's a whole lot of Blatter Up!, officially licensed singing and mascots.

The rest is up to you, so either email me or use the comments window below.

Here's what we know: Germany as hosts are in, the top seed in Group A. That means they'll play the opener in Munich on June 9, and two other group games, June 14 in Dortmund and June 20 in Berlin.

Brazil is in as well, in Group F. Yeah, I don't know why either, although when you look at the grid, the top teams in Group A and F can never meet until the final. For a quick look at the rules of the draw, this dandy little site has a primer, including some World Cup odds -- including a glittering 80-to-1 on the U.S. If you do that sort of thing, of course. Otherwise, stick to the Todesgruppe game.

The rest is just posturing. Sven-Goran Eriksson is afraid of Australia. Bruce Arena is already backtracking for not being afraid enough. No one wants to face the Dutch or Czech Republic, the two highest ranked teams not to be seeded. And Brazil, as usual, are the favourites on just about every odds board.

We'll be back when this thing gets started.

The Show

2:26 pm First mentions of the "Group of Death" on Sportsnet. Yep, they're off and running, four minutes before the thing starts for real. Gerry Dobson refers to the GoD twice, and Craig Forrest once. Man, this game is going to get quite nasty. That's three mentions.

2:33 pm The stage looks like something out of Star Search, if it was designed by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts people. The hosts, including Heidi Klum, slip effortlessly from German to English, ang we're underway in Leipzig. And on a cold afternoon in Toronto, e-mailer and footy fan Grace Brown is thinking already of the July 9 championship game of the world's biggest extravaganza:

"What I was thinking is that it would be a fine idea to have an event in downtown Toronto for all the soccer fans. Would be nice to have a jumbo screen set up with some beer tents and watch the final match. Was thinking Harbourfront or Distillery district."

Sounds like an okay idea to me. Especially if we can convince Heidi Klum to show up.

2:34 BLATTER UP!

2:37 Not quite sure because my German is a little out of practice, but I could swear I heard Blatter say "todesgruppe" -- that one doesn't count, I have to hear it clearly. "Make the world a better place through football," says Blatter, switching into English boilerplate. And out comes the World Cup trophy from the Brazilian association president, who bears a striking resemblance to Joe Bowen.

2:42 It gets passed around to Heidi, radiant in a  deep blue gown among these shlubs. She takes the trophy from Sepp, who appears to be weak at the knees as he gazes upon her, and together with another one of the dark suits puts it on a little platform to oversee the proceedings.

2:54 This is already beginning to lag, Ravel's Bolero starting up. I'm going to go over and see how Bill's World Cup on the Cheap blog is going.

2:58 Grace Brown checks in again, wanting to take back her email. Too late. She likes England, by the way -- 7 to 1 in most bookie shops.

3:03 Looking again at those odds, you already know one I like -- the U.S. at as much as 100 to 1. This team is ranked 8th. That is ridiculous. Czech Republic 20-1, Ivory Coast 50-1 also not bad -- but 100-1. Where do I sign up?

3:13 The preliminaries are almost over, a magician and his three gorgeous pleather-clad assistants "recovering" the missing trophy and the mascot showing up to sing the official mascot song. Pele's made his appearance. Back with the draw proper. Finally.

The draw

3:43 They're underway. Finally. The blogging tool is as halting as the broadcast.

Group A 1 Germany (host)

2 Costa Rica (tournament opener June 9: Germany vs Costa Rica, at Munich)

3 Poland

4 Ecuador

Group B 1 England

2 Paraguay

3 Trinidad & Tobago

4 Sweden

Group C 1 Argentina

2 Ivory Coast

3 Serbia-Montenegro

4 Netherlands

Group D 1 Mexico

2 Iran

3 Angola

4 Portugal

Group E 1 Italy

2 Ghana

3 United States

4 Czech Republic

Group F 1 Brazil (holders)

2 Croatia

3 Australia

4 Japan

Group G 1 France

2 Switzerland

3 South Korea

4 Togo

Group H 1 Spain

2 Ukraine

3 Tunisia

4 Saudi Arabia

Some early conclusions

Todesgruppe: Two really stand out. Group E, with Italy, the United States and the Czech Republic, and remember only two of the group, which includes first-timers Ghana, going on to the round of 16. Ouch. Group C, who is Sportsnet's choice, looks very tough as well and is probably better top to bottom, Argentina and the Netherlands joined by two very good sides, Serbia-Montenegro and Ivory Coast.

Here's the first-round matches I'm circling:

June 9. Germany vs Costa Rica. The tournament opener in Munich.

June 11. Angola vs Portugal, at Cologne. Colonial matchup.

June 12. Brazil vs Croatia, at Berlin. The champions open.

June 14. Germany vs Poland, at Dortmund. Neighbours with a long history.

June 16. Argentina vs Serbia-Montenegro, at Gelsenkirchen. In a very tough group, the pivotal second matches will loom huge in who comes out.

June 18. Brazil vs Australia, at Munich. The Aussies cheered when they drew into Brazil's group. They'll get whomped here, but the stands should be fun.

June 20. Sweden vs England, at Cologne. Final match of the group, between the top group's two teams on paper.

June 21. Argentina vs Netherlands, at Frankfurt. Two heavyweights going at it, and Serbia-Montenegro vs Ivory Coast on the same day is no slouch.

June 22. Czech Republic vs Italy, at Hamburg. No. 2 in the world Czech Rep. against 12 Italy.

June 22. Japan vs. Brazil, at Dortmund. Should be a fun game to watch, both teams slick and like to play along the ground.

Second round starts on June 24 to 27, Quarterfinals are on June 30 and July 1. Semifinals July 4 and 5. Final July 9.

Oh, and the final "Group of Death" count: I counted eight. So there you go.