Showdown: Team Duceppe vs Team Gomery

Well, in the interests of jaking it research, it's time for the the game all Canada Gilles Duceppe wants to see: It's Team Duceppe (Quebec) against Team Gomery (The Rest of Canada), and for all your pregame chatter, background and lineups, go here.

TORONTO STAR FILE

Lecavalier and Lemieux lead the scrappy Quebec attack.

With a couple of the newsroom's more capable thumbs handling the chores on the PlayStation that Spencer has loaded with the teams -- For Team Duceppe, Christian (Elbows) Cotroneo; for Team Gomery, Chris ('Toon Man) Hutsul -- it's a lunchtime Game On, but wait, Cotroneo has to have his pregame cigarette break. ... Okay, here we go.

First period

Good pressure from the Gomerys, and Scott Neidermayer simply levels LeCavalier. I'm feeling good, as the GM that's my Gomery team out there representing.

1-0 Duceppes! Martin St. Louis whacks in a rebound, Blake out of position. A little worrisome, that, and it's not the first time. These Duceppes are fast.

"Chouinard? I can't believe you put Chouinard on my team!" grumbles Cotroneo toward Duceppes GM Spencer. I like to hear that -- dissension is good. Not that I'm at all sanguine, huddled in the corner, watching my visorless Gomerys getting a lesson in power skating from the likes of Lecavalier, St. Louis and yeah, even Chouinard. I'd take him on my team.

The period ends with Cujo getting a workout in the Gomery goal. The Duceppes are all over them, with a 13-8 edge in shots, despite getting outhit 19-5. As GM of the Gomerys, I feel good enough to offer a prediction at the Cotroneo/Spencer pair: "We're wearing you down. We're going to win this thing by wearing you down."

TORONTO STAR FILE

Iginla and Canada had the physical game going, but couldn't turn checks into goals.

My coach Hutsul is all over the stat sheet, turning to Cotroneo: "Look at the hits, man. If this was real hockey half your team would be in the infirmary."

Cotroneo: "I dunno, I just don't feel right when I don't get my Bob Seger pregame music. Do we have any tunes like Night Moves we could put on?"

Second period

Another huge Niedermayer hit. This guy does nothing with the puck. But he does make good with the hits.

Sid the Kid just misses. It's the first time I've noticed him all game.

2-0 Duceppes! Tanguay with a lot of the ol' dipsey-doo, and Pierre-Marc Bouchard is there to put in the rebound. For crying out loud, where is the defence?

TORONTO STAR FILE

Doan again working well with Smyth and Thornton to produce Canada's only goal.

The Doan-Richards-Smyth is making things happen.

Gomery goal, 2-1! Richards lays a hit in the corner and digs the puck off the boards, passes to Smyth in front for a whip into the net. "Typical Canadian goal," whoops Hutsul.

Cotroneo: "I don't like the way the momentum is right now."

Third period

Gomerys all over 'em to start. It's now or never.

Duceppes 3-1! The home crowd is singing at the Bell Centre -- soon to be renamed Le Centre Torstar. Another bit of Bouchard garbage-picking after Tanguay busts the net from the right flank. Regehr looks slow and out of it on the play.

Duceppes 4-1! Regehr and McCabe pair gets beat badly, Bergeron on a breakaway and no chance for Cujo.

Duceppes 5-1! The rout is complete, Chouinard -- yah, the guy the coach was rippin' on at the start of the game -- banging in a rebound.

And it's over. A crushing outcome in Montreal. And they didn't even need Bob Seger to get it done. I'm sorry, Canada. I'm sorry, Don and Ron. I'm sorry, Mom. As the GM of this team, I take the blame here (well someone's got to. Coach Hutsul has fled).

Three stars: 1 Bouchard; 2 Brodeur; 3 Tanguay.

Comments

[andrew]

god that was stupid.

[cy]

yep.