Last night, Joe and Harry on the Leafs broadcast were talking about how the NHL should have a Bobby Orr Trophy. Worthy sentiments and a most worthy candidate for such an honour -- except that the league already has too many awards. Or at least, not enough of the right kind of awards.
So, being an obliging kind of blog, here they are, some awards you'll never see -- and please, play along at home:
The Gerry McNamara Cup, awarded to the league's most atrocious GM. With Mike Milbury taking the pipe this year, Mike O'Connell of the Bruins (he of the Joe Thornton deal) is in charge and underlined his front-runner status by trading Samsonov away last week. But it's not over yet. That's none other than JFJ, not conceding anything, making a hard charge into contention.
The Carlton the Bore Award, given to the Maple Leaf adjudged to say the least, either figuratively or literally. Perhaps the toughest call of all. Will it be JFJ's Plan, another Mats Sundin pep talk, or is there someone else out there yet to come whose vacuousness will catch the fancy of voters? Still up for grabs.
The Teachers Pension Trophy, awarded to the Maple Leaf who earns the most money while delivering the least. JFJ has turned this into a real
horse race taffy pull. Runaway leader Aki Berg ($1.064 million, 4 points, prorated-over-80-games $177,333 per point) has suddenly been joined by new acquisition Luke Richardson ($2.09 million, seven points, pro-rated $174,167 per point). (And, if you're looking at bargains, Kyle Wellwood at a real cheap $14,581 per point is the least likely candidate for this award. )
The Snidely Whiplash Plaque, given to the NHL player adjudged to be the biggest jerk. Off Wing Opinion's Eric McErlain has already done the heavy lifting for this one with a Most Hated poll that puts Todd Bertuzzi at the top of the heap. Can't argue with that.
The J.C. Tremblay Trophy, given to the NHL player who combines offensive production with bonehead giveaways. I'm open to all candidates here.
Vaguely related: Mika Noronen, in a different life, obligingly cleans the plexiglass for an apparently befogged goal judge (Thanks to Chris Hutsul for the link).
Not related at all: Great breakdancer (the guy in the orange shirt, not the first guy).