Last night, Joe and Harry on the Leafs broadcast were talking about how the NHL should have a Bobby Orr Trophy. Worthy sentiments and a most worthy candidate for such an honour -- except that the league already has too many awards. Or at least, not enough of the right kind of awards.
So, being an obliging kind of blog, here they are, some awards you'll never see -- and please, play along at home:
The Gerry McNamara Cup, awarded to the league's most atrocious GM. With Mike Milbury taking the pipe this year, Mike O'Connell of the Bruins (he of the Joe Thornton deal) is in charge and underlined his front-runner status by trading Samsonov away last week. But it's not over yet. That's none other than JFJ, not conceding anything, making a hard charge into contention.
The Carlton the Bore Award, given to the Maple Leaf adjudged to say the least, either figuratively or literally. Perhaps the toughest call of all. Will it be JFJ's Plan, another Mats Sundin pep talk, or is there someone else out there yet to come whose vacuousness will catch the fancy of voters? Still up for grabs.
The Teachers Pension Trophy, awarded to the Maple Leaf who earns the most money while delivering the least. JFJ has turned this into a real horse race taffy pull. Runaway leader Aki Berg ($1.064 million, 4 points, prorated-over-80-games $177,333 per point) has suddenly been joined by new acquisition Luke Richardson ($2.09 million, seven points, pro-rated $174,167 per point). (And, if you're looking at bargains, Kyle Wellwood at a real cheap $14,581 per point is the least likely candidate for this award. )
The Snidely Whiplash Plaque, given to the NHL player adjudged to be the biggest jerk. Off Wing Opinion's Eric McErlain has already done the heavy lifting for this one with a Most Hated poll that puts Todd Bertuzzi at the top of the heap. Can't argue with that.
The J.C. Tremblay Trophy, given to the NHL player who combines offensive production with bonehead giveaways. I'm open to all candidates here.
Vaguely related: Mika Noronen, in a different life, obligingly cleans the plexiglass for an apparently befogged goal judge (Thanks to Chris Hutsul for the link).
Not related at all: Great breakdancer (the guy in the orange shirt, not the first guy).
For the J.C. Tremblay award, I nominate Bryan McCabe and his tape-to-tape long outlet passes to the opposing team.
Posted by: Sam Laldin | March 15, 2006 at 12:04 PM
They need to kill the Lady Byng and replace with a trophy for best defensive defenceman. The Norris always goes to guys with shiny O numbers, and D consideration is just in the mix. A guy like Scott Stevens in his prime should be recognized for what he was. No one actually wants the Lady Byng anyway.
Posted by: nigel | March 15, 2006 at 12:04 PM
J.C. Tremblay Trophy: My goodness, it has to be McCabe. My most persevering mental images of him are :
1. him leaning into the power-play one-timer (mostly thanks to gratuitous Sportsnet commercials)
2. head down, legs pumping, cursing to himself as he tries to catch up with the opponent's breakaway after letting the puck get by him on its way out of the offensive zone.
Posted by: DrJohnEvans | March 15, 2006 at 01:14 PM
Vacuous? Good grief, any of 'em could be up for this award. For the sake of answering the question, though, I will throw my 2 cents behind Eddie Belfour for the Carlton The Bore award. Not the most scintillating conversationalist...
But few of them ever say anything that isn't a hoary cliche and those few (Brett Hull or Jeremy Roenick, for examples) are so full of themselves that I pine for a sock to stuff in their mouths when they do open 'em.
What has to go are those intermission interviews we get during every game broadcast. Not only do we never hear anything interesting or insightful, but the deathless replies are delivered in that monotone voice that is almost universally adopted by hockey players.
'Course, it still beats listening to Pierre Mcguire.
Posted by: Carla | March 15, 2006 at 02:11 PM
McCabe is the guy, but as someone who watches too many Leaf games I have to imagine there are other contenders, aren't there?
Posted by: cycy | March 15, 2006 at 02:20 PM
If there were awards like this, oh I wish there were, the undisputed winner for the JC Tremblay Award would be Bryan McCabe. Darcy Tucker could win the Snidely Whiplash Plaque. There would actually be a good chance the Leafs would have the right mix to sweep the awards.
Posted by: Nathan Goveas | March 15, 2006 at 02:21 PM
This award definitely goes to Jason Allison. He is 2nd in points for the Leafs, a point-a-game player; and he's also the leader in give-aways this year (also a giveaway-a-game).
Aki Berg would have been a great giveaway player as well; unfortunetely he has not been putting up the points for this award.
Posted by: nissin67 | March 15, 2006 at 07:28 PM
For the JC Tremblay, can we combine Olympic performances with NHL fare? Because I'd like to nominate Aki Berg - the highs from February in Torino and the lows from Toronto .. the rest of the year.
Posted by: kyle ralph | March 15, 2006 at 08:44 PM
McNamara Cup: Don MacLean, Columbus
The Bore Award: Belfour, although many qualify
Pension Trophy: Domi
Whiplash Plaque: Hasek
Tremblay Trophy: Gonchar
Posted by: James Mirtle | March 16, 2006 at 05:11 AM
i think there should be a Chris Young award for bonehead journalist. Your choices for Teachers Pension Plan are defenceman. As I recall defencemen are suppose to stop goals rather than score them.
Posted by: kyle ricard | March 16, 2006 at 03:26 PM
Hey Kyle:
It's bonehead blogger.
Posted by: cy | March 16, 2006 at 04:00 PM