Rawk the Puck! East Classic Conference

For the past couple days here, we’ve been pretty serious about these Stanley Cup playoffs with the NHL bloggers roundtable.

ASSOCIATED PRESS

Clash: No. 1 seed.

Now it’s time to rock out with Rawk the Puck!, a mashup of Idol, rate-a-record, blazing pun-ditry, all those years of listening from radio to mp3's and finally, Lord Stanley's hallowed beaker with a bobblehead cherry on top.

Here’s the plan: I’ve put together a grid, but instead of this year’s playoff teams, it matches up classic tunes, eg, for Red Wings vs. Edmonton, it’s the White Stripes (“Hotel Yorba”, a Detroit flophouse) against Talking Heads (“Slippery People”, because that’s what Oilers are, isn’t it?).

The JABS panel of hipster bloggers and me will weigh in with our thoughts yay or nay, and so will you with your votes, with prizes (bobbleheads 'r' us, CD's are us) up for grabs. The winning songs move on, and a new song echoing the same team/name goes up in its place next round, while the losers are out.

It’s sing or go home, right up to the final two playing off in the Rawk the Puck! Championship hootenanny.

ASSOCIATED PRESS

Young: All CanCon matchup.

Here’s the panel:

The Acid Queen, a ‘Canes fan who rants with the best of ‘em at her eponymous blog, up since 2005 (Fave band of the moment: Tyr).

Alanah and Jeff, better known as the merry pranksters of Vancouver Canucks OpEd since October 2003 (Faves: Tragically Hip, Ben Folds Five, Abba Van Morrison).

Mike Chen, who since September '05 regularly blogs at the intersection of pop and pucks (Faves: Tanya Donelly, U2, Morrissey, Pulp).

Mark Freedman, JABS regular, website pioneer and all-round hipster responsible for the inspired “Slippery People” inclusion (Fave: Wilco).

Carla MacDonald, new blogger, JABS/Hockey Page original and recent escapee from Bush’s America (Fave: X).

Tassos Melas and J.E. Skeets, whose Basketball Jones podcasts combine Pynchonesque hoops talk with the latest hepcat sounds (Faves: Melas – The Killers; Skeets -- The Roots; Skeets’ fave karaoke song: Bohemian Rhapsody).

Then there’s me (Fave: Stars).

ASSOCIATED PRESS

Cash: Draws the Demics.

Here's your first four matchups -- for the other four, go here (and from here, the judges' comments and verdicts will go up on Monday, voting will be closed and results announced Tuesday afternoon and we start the conference semifinals on Wednesday.)

EASTERN CLASSIC RAWK CONFERENCE

1 “Capital Radio”, the Clash vs. 8 “Ride the Lightning”, Metallica

2 “Like a Hurricane”, Neil Young vs. 7 “Montreal”, Blue Rodeo

3 “Devil to Pay”, Johnny Cash vs. 6 “(I Wanna Go To) New York City,” the Demics

4 “Buffalo Stance”, Neneh Cherry, vs. 5 “T.S.O.P.”, MFSB

Don't forget to vote your picks, and post smart remarks in the comments below, to be eligible for the first-round prizes (a Marty Brodeur Team Canada bobblehead; a couple of CDs) to be drawn at random. I'll post the Western Indy Rawk Conference later this morning.

Comments

[Dan Monti]

So here it is, my attempt at determining the winners of the first round of the first (?) annual "Rawk the Puck!" classic...

Eastern Conference:

1v8: Isn't it somewhat ironic that you have the Clash representing Ottawa, what with the politics and all? I'm willing to let that slide as I take "Capital Radio" over Metallica, as the dismal memories of "Re-Load" pop into my head, which I also reckon Tampa Bay will be doing after this season.

2v7: I would've preferred the choice of "Southern Man" for the Carolina connection, but I suppose it would be impossible to pass on "Hurricane". Maybe you can use it in round two after Neil defeats Blue Rodeo.

3v6: I've learned to never doubt the man in black. Nor shall I doubt his Devil inclinations.

4v5: Neneh Cherry? For real? According to Wikipedia: "Her stepfather, Don Cherry, was an influential jazz musician". Furthermore: "Neneh was nominated for a Grammy Award in 1990 in the Best New Artist Category; she lost out to Milli Vanilli". Don Cherry and a loss to Milli Vanilli? Count me out. Philly/MFSB.

Western Conference

1v8: Too easy I know, but the Oilers will be burning down the house that Joe Louis built, and again even easier, it will be one, two, three, four...see you later for the Red Wings (and hopefully the White Stripes too).

2v7: I like Teenage Fanclub a lot.

3v6: Although i'm always down for the boot(s)y, the New Pornographers are like the west-coast-Wu-Tang-Clan-of-indie-rock (Destroyer, Neko Case, Immaculate Machine, the list goes on!) and you can't deny that, nor the Flames. I take them over the sorry ducks of Anaheim. (A side note: What's the deal with these ridiculous Anaheim team names "The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim", "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim". I guess they didn't get the memo that the city name in which you play precedes the team name)

4v5: We all know that Spinal Tap's amplifiers go up to eleven and that seems to jive with the amount of wins the Sharks will attain this post season. The correlation simply put, "Shark Sandwich" over Mr. Hiatt.

There you have it, my thoughts. Next year, I think you should cover the NBA playoffs in the same fashion, but maybe on the hip hop tip. I've got Maestro Fresh Wes's "416/905 (TO Party Anthem)" to the finals.

Also Mr. Young, now that I know you have an inclination for all things indie, please check out my radio show on Tuesdays from 13:00-14:30 at cfmu.mcmaster.ca (93.3 FM in Hamilton) or visit me at www.myspace.com/causeallkinds. Thanks for the shameless plug...

[spencer]

Ride the Lightning! A close match, that Clash photo is pretty intimidating. But Ride is one of the songs that used to pump me up for high school hockey games. Classic.

Like a Hurricane wins just because I want to see the Scorpions in the next round. Oh, and it's Neil Young.

Devil to Pay. Cash is a God.

T.S.O.P by M.F.S.B, J.B.C.

[Kent MacDonald]

Capital Radio vs Ride the Lightning

Even before this series got underway, it was the beginning of the end. Yes, it was time for the dr. goebbels show, and he picks all the hits to play. The Lightning didn't have a chance going into this series, but damn it, it ain't right. Who made the Radio's God? Who gave them the right to take the life from the Lightning? God couldn't help them as the Radio's tried to take it all away. Sure, they toyed with them a while, and even made the minutes seemed like hours. The Radio's made all the action stop, while all the Lightning faithful could do was chant "Just get it over with". Capital Radio in 5.

Like a Hurricane vs Montreal

Once we thought we saw them, dancing on the light from star to star. They came within inches of the number one seed. They could have been anything to us, as we were all just dreamers who wanted to love them. But then they met in Montreal. For the play that they brought, they might as well have put a dress on the old marked Staal. Busy thinking about how lucky they were, and all the things that they had, they forgot to play for the moment. And them moment appeared to be mapped out like the stars in the sky for Montreal, as the heavy favourites found themselves blown away to somewhere safer in 6 games.

Devil to Pay vs New York City

Before the season started, questions arose about the Devils top forward. She was always warned about her lifestyle. They would say "go on girl, take your chances. See how long you can go from man to man", and in the end they were right and she missed the first half of the season with a major disease. With new rules in place this year, they had to try to break free of the cheating game they've been playing for years, in the first half they looked down and found they had no place to fall. But their star came back early, and joined her friend while she still had'em, lifting them up passed New York City into the 3rd seed, and looking like a first. Meanwhile, their opponents team had been made up in the past of people who went to New York City because they were told it was the place to be. While it might have finally been true this year, they ran into bad luck with their first round draw, and were left standing alone, forsaken in the naked light of day. Devils in 5.

Buffalo Stance vs TSOP

Lets get it on, it's time to get down! Bringing in the big money man in the offseason, TSOP looked stacked and ready to go. But no moneyman can win Buffalo's love, as the Stance came in smokin, and looked good when it came to the crunch. Bomb the Bass, they rocked the place and hung with the wild bunch in 7 games. Huh, Sukka.

[cy]

I almost was going to do this for the NBA, then decided to spare people the pain. actually I got a bit busy, and I just don't know hip-hop well enough, outside of the usual suspects. It'd be something -- hey, maybe the Basketball Jones will jump on it. Or Kent.

[Ken]

Capital Radio
Devil To Pay
Like a Hurricane
T.S.O.P.

[Big Dawg]

I'm all about looking good in the buffalo stance! No matter what, i'm riding them right to the finals!

I'll throw Capital Radio, Montreal and Devil to Pay along with them, but their future is bleak.

[Sean]

The Clash vs. Metallica

I am a Clash man, through and through. $#!* Metallica and their legal action against Napster.

Neil Young vs. Blue Rodeo

Two favourites of mine. While the Habs are looking good right now, Neil Young rawks.

Johnny Cash vs. the Demics

Did you get a movie based on your life? Walk the (2) Line (pass)

Neneh Cherry, vs. MFSB

Buffalo Stance for sure.

(I know this had nothing to do with hockey picks...so sue me!)

[Kent MacDonald]

Alright, Chris, I got you covered on the NBA side of Rawk the Bawl. Hope you like it - http://sportsguynorth.blogspot.com/2006/04/rawk-bawl.html