Chris Young


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September 27, 2006

The 50 Worst Things to Happen to Sports: Part III

Like it or not, here we go again. Third take as the countdown continues:

Associated Press
The mascot smackdown.

30 Mascots. Yes, the kids love them. But does anyone else? The best moment in sports on film remains the mound conference in Bull Durham, Crash telling Nook - “Hit the mascot.”
29 Chris Berman. “Bert Be-Home-Blyleven” sounded cute -- but not for long.
28 ESPN Classic. I remember Brian Bosworth. I really don’t want to go back there, thanks.
27 Sportswriters doing TV. Watching them, you realize why they went into newspaper work.
26 Vince Lombardi. Not so much him, but the whole “coach as genius” mythology.
25 The FOX Puck. Hockey for morons.
24 The FOX robots. Football for idiots.
23 The FOX Joe Buck. A good baseball announcer turned Kewpie doll.
22 Jumbotrons. Gigantic video boards sell ads, tell you when to clap and turn everyone in camera range into waving, jumping idiots. But don’t expect any instant replays of a close call.
21 Michael Jordan. The template for the me-first NBA (and pro sports) star system AND a sports dilettante to boot. Plays poker, too.

50-41        40-31

Comments

Sideline reporters. Well, we'll make an exception for Elliotte Friedman.

Third jerseys. I'll give a pass to the Rangers' brilliant Statue of Liberty but other than that, it's another cynical cash grab.

Purely Canadian addition: post 9/11, MLB directed teams to play God Bless America during the 7th inning stretch. And the Jays went along with it. Paul, we're not the 51st state--yet.

You msut be insane. Micheal Jordan was the ultimate teammate always making those around him better. Me-first NBA pro? What world have you been living in.

no disagreements so far, keep up the good work.

Jordan was the ultimate teammate? Is that why Bill Cartwright threatened to beat him up, after which Michael promptly got off his case? Is that why Scotty Pippen was the guy people on the team went to when they had problems? Ok.

Michael Jorden pioneered careerism in pro-sports. And I don't mean that in a good way. The 'person as a brand' (think Oprah, etc) owes a lot to Michael. Crass opportunism reeks, and MJ defines those who feel there's nothing crass about it.

Worst thing to happen to sports: Chris Young!

How did you ever get a job? Or more accurately why do you still have one? Jordan as one of the worst things to happen to sport. Good God man, what is wrong with you. Regardless of commercialism and a me first attitude the guy was the most brilliant basketball player ever. And as far as careerism and 'the person as a brand,' I'll bet you cant go anywhere without your 85 dollar Wayne Gretzky golf shirt.

You got your terminology wrong. They're not Jumbotrons, they're Dumbotrons.
There is a Dumbotron in the DumbDome in downtown Toronto. Ever noticed that all seats face the Dumbotron and that fans have to twist their neck and bodies to actually see the game?

While I'm at it and things come to mind, here are a few other others things to hate about pro sports:

Soccer, where the players score once every three hours.

Basketball, where the players score once every three seconds.

Untouched soccer players feigning injury, rolling on the ground as though they've been assassinated, pleading with the referees to realize their plights and banish their assailants from the games. It happens very often.

Red and yellow cards in soccer. What's that all about? It looks as though the referee, once he catches a transgressor, is sending him home with a note to his Mommy. Bad boy! No dinner toight!

All I can say is that I hope Bud "I personally ruined the game of baseball" Selig is in your top 10.

Re: Chris Berman- Lest we forget the immortal Oddibe "Young Again" McDowell. Boo yeah!

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