The 50 Worst Things to Happen to Sports: Part IV
Here we go again, the suspense building as we continue counting it down with this, the penultimate instalment:
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| Willie gets creamed: Decline of civilization. |
20 Adult autograph collectors.
19 Economic-impact studies. These new stadiums are all very, very good for us.
18 “Honky the Christmas Goose”. The line runs between this, the Super Bowl Shuffle and athletes-turned-rappers.
17 Pregame military displays. Air force fly-bys, the Grey Cup borne in aboard HMCS Vancouver - but what does this have to do with sports? (UPDATE/AMENDMENT: Thanks to Chris Clayton, who notes in the comments that a Navy team from Montreal won the 1944 Grey Cup, so indeed there is something to do with sports here.)
16 Third uniforms. A refined version of the biennial change-the-uni cash grab.
15 Cyndi Lauper. I blame her for the whole pro wrestling boom.
14 Super Bowl commercials. Useful as a barometer on the decline of western civilization.
13 Stadium naming rights. The U of Arizona Phoenix paid $154.5 million US to put its name on a stadium. Let me guess - the economic-impact study was just too glowing to resist (thanks to rpaterso47 for the fix).
12 All-sports talk radio. One of the guys who tore apart our kitchen listened to nothing but this. “I like it because I don’t have to think about anything,” he explained as he pulled apart the gas main.
11 Isiah Thomas. GMs wreaking havoc on a franchise are a dime a dozen. Zeke presided over the demise of a whole league. Good luck, Mr. Grunwald.






The best part about that stadium naming rights deal is that it was actually to the University of Phoenix, an online school.
I actually remember seeing an economic impact study that showed that stadiums were actually economically depressing. Wish I could find it again.
What's wrong with third jerseys? who didn't love the Bruins' mustard teddy bear, the Stars' ovaries, or the San Diego Army Fatigues? was it just me?
Posted by: Julian | September 28, 2006 at 04:24 PM
"And uh..." - it's nice to see that Alexander Ovechkin is keen to improve his English but can we convince Sidney Crosby to do likewise?
North American Olympics - 7 Summer or Winter Games in two countries over 34 years: take that Africa! Apparently it's New York's "turn" in 2016 as well.
Posted by: Paul | September 28, 2006 at 09:14 PM
Teams selling naming rights are sowing the seeds of their own demise. Do you think I'd still be a leaf fan if they changed the name of the Maple Leaf Gardens every two years? I don't think so.
What about integrity in sports and education? The University of Phoenix sells degrees to stupid people with money and no connections who don't actually want to go to school. Of course, stupid people with money and connections go to Yale.
Posted by: Paul Karton | September 29, 2006 at 10:03 AM
I was fortunate (and redneck) enough to attend a Nascar race in upstate New York this year, and let me tell you, the unexpected Air Force jet fly-by complete with fireworks was one of the coolest things I have ever witnessed.
Although I do agree it makes absolutely no sense.
Posted by: Tim | September 29, 2006 at 11:10 AM
#17. It is the HMCS Vancouver. (Her Majesty's Canadian Ship).
The Navy and the Grey Cup do have a tradition, in 1944 HMCS Donnacona from Montreal (A NAVY Team) won the Grey Cup... so there. I had the pleasure of meeting the surviving members of the Navy winning team during the 50th anniversary of them winning the Grey Cup on board HMCS Vancouver back in 1994.
Posted by: Chris Clayton | September 29, 2006 at 12:08 PM
Good point re the tradition Chris. I'd forgotten that Grey Cup lore, so I've made an update. But I'll still call a flag on the the air force fly-by in this slot.
Posted by: cy | September 29, 2006 at 12:59 PM
Great stuff. My worst list would be headed at the noisy music blared at baseball games. next is sport radio with jerks called Coach, mad dog, romey etc
Losing the rule book for basketball. What's with all the travelling, running. skipping etc by these big oafs
and didn't any athletes ever get told by parents that bad things happen to people who frequent bad areas and never go home the same day they go out. whatcha doing driving around at 3 am? nothing good I'll bet
Posted by: jerry | September 30, 2006 at 02:18 AM