Into the weekend: Footballin'

Time to clear the virtual desk off, ahead of Sunday's Argos-Als, which has become the eastern CFL's default setting come playoff time, the Grey Cup just about ready to be brought in by the Mounties. First, though, a trivia note to spring at your next pigskin and chili party - after one of their long-ago meetings, the mayor of Montreal did the ceremonial kickoff before sitting to watch his side win in Toronto, and before boarding the return train had this to say: "I'd be happy to come back to Toronto to kick your balls off any time you want."
Can you imagine David Miller doing the same this weekend, in Hochelaga? Sure.
There's football all around this weekend and next, actually - everywhere but here, it seems. Blog fave Neate Sager has previews on the CIS national quarterfinals. There's the usual NFL stuff - but you don't care about that. Meantime, the countdown is on for next Saturday's national college semifinals, that Ohio State-Michigan hoolie, and finally the National Drunk its ownself. Oh, and if you've got time and feel like reading up on the game, you could do a lot worse than checking this out.

BORIS SPREMO/TORONTO STAR FILE PHOTO

Boudreau: Hockey's Crash Davis.

One last e-mail. Tim Farrell had a worrisome flashback as the 76ers' Andre Iguodala launched a last-second buzzer-beater, trying to overcome Chris Bosh's go-ahead 3-pointer on Wednesday night:

Did you notice the FREAKISH similarities to the end of "the" Carter game last year?
I was there for both games. Last night just weirded me out, I couldn't even enjoy the win. I fully expected Iguodala's shot to go in.
Raps up by 1, Calderon goes to the line, 4 seconds left, visitors have no timeouts. Calderon makes first, misses second.
I was completely certain the Raps were about to lose that game. I'm still having trouble enjoying the victory.

Tim's going back to VC's game-winner last January. My flashback: Iggy's shot came from near the same spot that Carter missed from at the end Game 7 in Philly in '01. Which, tracing the arc, was the beginning of the slide that eventually led through last January's VC return, right to this retooled and new-brand approach. Twice bitten, and finally, one that didn't go down when it could have. We'll wait and see, but that might have been a little karmic payback at last.

One last Leaf memory. Another flashback, this one to former Leaf (and up and coming head coach) Bruce Boudreau, from Eric McErlain: "After just glancing at his numbers for a moment, you realize you're staring at minor league hockey's answer to Crash Davis."

One last financial note. Leafs remain No. 1 in the latest round of Forbes franchise valuations, NHL division (Note for next week: an update to the overall franchise valuations).

One last product placement. The penis basketball chair.

Sports around town. The U of T Blues have a pretty good doubleheader at the Sports Gym to open their Ontario basketball season. The women face national No. 1 ranked McMaster Saturday night at 6; the men, ranked 10th in the country, face No. 7 in the nightcap at 8 p.m.

Pooch punts. Jinks the football degenerate dog went 2-3 last week, not very good, but in his defence he was back-door covered by the Browns and got what he deserved for biting on the Raiders. He's not quite Alpo yet, but he's gotta shape up:

MONTREAL -3 over Toronto
SASKATCHEWAN +7 1/2 over B.C.
St. Louis +3 1/2 over SEATTLE
New Orleans +4 1/2 over PITTSBURGH
NY GIANTS -1 over Chicago

Into the weekend: Low-def football, High-def racing

Time to wrap things up around here in the usual manner, starting with a television note: The Breeders' Cup is available only in High-Definition this weekend, while the Argos-Bombers east semifinal is not going to be broadcast in HD.

So the Breeders' Cup, horse racing's highest-end TV product, watched by a devoted but marginalized audience, gets pushed a little further into the edges.

AP FILE PHOTO

Look at the bright side. At least he's not out there making records.

As for the Argos, low-definition is them. Here they have the seemingly complimentary Ricky Williams (when he's not lining up on the kickoff coverage team) and John Avery in the backfield. They have a receiver in Arland Bruce who can break a game open if he gets the ball - pay attention to those last five words - and a supporting cast filled with Sowards, Talbots and (perhaps, if he's healed) Miles. They have football's all-time leading pitcher. And for all that, their offence is ranked seventh in an eight-team league. Is it Damon Allen? Adam Rita? Pinball? What gives here? This is the Argos' last hurrah at home, so it'll be the last day of pro playoffs here until the spring -- or perhaps even next fall.

One last read. Elliotte Friedman on the Argos:

Let’s bring up another scenario: that Toronto’s offence is seriously overrated, frightening for a group that is the CFL’s worst. In the aftermath of Saturday’s collapse, the frustration came pouring out of Arland Bruce. “All week long, I said I would do whatever it takes. I must have told D.A. 15-16 times that I would do whatever it takes. I was open in the second half. The ball just didn’t come my way.”
Now, there are two ways to look at this diatribe. One: Bruce is a selfish player pulling a Keyshawn Johnson bitchfest moments after the Argonauts lost the right to host the East Championship. Two: Bruce is a fierce competitor who badly wanted to win, just giving honest answers to a question.
I choose the second version.

One last email. Chris Flynn liked the post on Paul Maurice's Wednesday night coaching. Until he got to the part about Glenn Healy:

"Are you a Scotsman or something? ... I just cannot agree on the Healy comment, I find him to be purely obnoxious and he really tries to slam the Leafs."

I'll continue liking Healy, Chris. Even as a non-Scotsman. I must confess another thing: I think Pierre McGuire has done good work this season (There, I said it. I mean it. Let the e-mail blizzard begin.).

One last sign that playing a lot of golf can ruin lives. Kenny G tops Golf Digest's Top 100 musicians who golf. Dweezil Zappa is No. 20 and Bob Dylan is No. 63 (and on the subject of Bobby Z, don your finest biohazard gear and, if you dare, check this out).

One last view. Via kottke, vintage Youtube video of a daredevil trying to fly over the St. Lawrence River in a Lincoln Continental. You fear to watch, but you cannot look away.

One last auction. One of 20 game balls from last July's World Cup final, autographed by Italy's championship team, go up for auction on Saturday in Qatar. Sadly, though, no Materazzi-butted jersey.

One last game: Pong meets the seesaw. (Another find from kottke.)

Sports around town. U of T men's basketball Blues (7-2 for the preseason) tune up for next weekend's regular season with their final exhibition game, 4 p.m. Saturday at the Sports Gym against Humber College.

Watching. Lots to choose from but the Breeders' Cup is it, even if it's only on TSN HD, Saturday at 12:30 p.m. Bernardini is the best horse I've seen since Cigar - and you remember what happened to Cigar on BC day, right?

Pooch punts. Football plays worth the paper that Jinks the Viszla whittled on. Here's his kibbles-or-cookie picks, and keep in mind the boy went 5-0 two weeks ago and 3-2 last week, so he's one hot dog:

Atlanta -5 over DETROIT
BALTIMORE -3 over Cincinnati
SAN FRANCISCO +5 over Minnesota
SAN DIEGO -12 1/2 over Cleveland
Oakland +7 1/2 over SEATTLE

Great moments in postgame press conferences

After last night's Dennis Green standup, the subject of ranking coach's postgame press tirades came up.
Okay, I'm game.
Jim Mora's "Playoffs?" riffage has to go up there. Anything from Bobby Knight. Tommy Lasorda on Dave Kingman. Hal McRae and Herm Edwards - on and on.
As for local colour, for years, an audiotape of a John Brophy rant was making the rounds - if Brophy was still coaching in the NHL, he'd be good for three or four of these bombs a season - but try as I might I can't find it anywhere. Any other candidates you can think of, send 'em on in.
Green's bit belongs, but it was piker's stuff next to the top of the class. The leader in the clubhouse for the past 23 years? Lee Elia, Cubs manager, saluting his Wrigley Field fans on April 29, 1983: "They're really, really behind you around here - my (bleepin') ass ... 85 per cent of the world's working. The rest of 'em come out here." (Quicktime audio, NSFW, PG, and every other rating you can think of. A classic).

Sort of related: Well, it's rankings. Hollinger's 06-07 projections are in. Chris Bosh is No. 20, the rest of the Raptors are triple digits.

Photo of the Day: Cardinal rule

ROSS D. FRANKLIN/REUTERS

Dennis Green on the left, Neil Rackers on the right.

Related: Green's postgame presser, and The Sports Economist on field goal percentages.

Photo of the Day: Farewell, Pete III

FRANK GUNN/CANADIAN PRESS

Paul (Pigskin Pete) Weiler wraps up a 31-year career with one last Oskee Wee Wee Sunday in Hamilton.

Related: Thanks, Pete and Tiger-Cats begin search for next Pigskin Pete.

Notes from a weekend

Around the world in a post, even if I haven't had much time to link anywhere but the most nearby places:

The Raptors are invisible no more. This may or may not be good news, depending on how you view preseason games on triple-digit TV - or if you view them or that region of the binary universe at all. The Raptors added yesterday's preseason game (boxscore), while advertising their final two home preseason games -- against Maccabi on Thursday, and against the Cleveland LeBron's on Sunday night. It's the scoreboard feed, mind you, but it is the local team, Chuck and Jack and Norma and the rest. An improvement, that, on the dark screens in the offing last week.

LUCAS OLENIUK/TORONTO STAR

Bosh, Nesterovic: Just add Bargnani and serve hot, Sam.

As for yesterday, a couple of little items from said broadcast. Anthony Parker looks like a poor (and slightly smaller) man's Shane Battier. And Andrea Bargnani does have a lovely shooting stroke, as Jack Armstrong noted between fouls, and wasn't shy to go down in the post and demand the ball - this kid just oozes hoops class. Otherwise, no real surprises, to me, anyway. One thing I'd love to see before this exhibition season is out, as a preview to what we should be seeing later on: Mitchell to give a frontline of Nesterovic, Bosh and Bargnani some minutes together.

Other stuff:

Mats Sundin's tour de force Saturday night was the latest display of shoot-first, ask-later excellence from the revitalized captain. But correct me if I'm wrong here - I didn't see a single hat on the ice after Sundin's game-winner. If any hat trick deserved it, this one was it. Are we too cool for that, too, Toronto? Best pressure performance of the night, though, may have been the relief pitching of Cassie Campbell, stepping in for snowbound Harry Neale on Hockey Night in Canada and handling it pretty smoothly.

Argos DB Byron Parker had another superb afternoon on Saturday and is putting together a pretty remarkable stretch of football -- seven interceptions in nine games, and four of them returned for TDs, since signing on Aug. 6.

Petr Cech is still in hospital after that awful collision Saturday, with a fractured skull. The accident, and an ensuing injury to backup Carlo Cudicini, has touched off a debate about goalkeepers' vulnerability.

Blog fave Neate Sager weighs in on How Detroit Built their Miracle Team. Not even knowing who they're going to play in the World Series, the books already have them favoured pretty handily.

Into the weekend: College hoopla

Time to wrap it up around here, but not before a quick tour through the usual precincts.

One last read. Sports Illustrated's Tom Verducci polled 22 baseball cogniscenti to come up with the 25 all-time all-stars. And get this - Alex Rodriguez is on it.

One last e-mail. Regular reader John Richardson went down east last weekend to visit with his son Elliott who studies at Acadia and plays for the Axemen. Here's his list of "Ten things I learned from spending a weekend at Acadia with my son and his football teammates":

1) Mount Allison beating SFX on Saturday for their first victory in four years is up near the top of the "most humiliating moments in sports" category -particularly if you have friends who play for the X-men. You can never bring that game up too often.
2) Spending $45.00 on fresh pasta is just about right for preparing the Friday night carbs dinner for 10 football players.
3) Why buy two steaks when you can buy four?
4) Real football fans know the college of every single NFL player.
5) You can buy Alexander Keith's LITE in Nova Scotia.
6) Multitasking involves: watching the NFL network; having your laptop open at all times for MSN Messenger: taking turns playing tunes from your computer; and surreptiously googling answers for #4.
7) Saturday night starts at 11:30 p.m.
8) Sunday morning starts at 11:30 a.m.
9) Never ask a university student, "Do you want some money for that?"
10) It's perfectly OK to clean dishes from the Friday night pasta meal on Sunday evening.

One last quote. "Defence is the toughest job in the world" - Hal Gill (thanks to another regular, Carla, for this one. As she noted, "somebody has only a tenuous grip on reality.")

Sports around town. Rah-rah on the ice all around the town: U of T's men's hockey team opens its OUA season with a pair of home games, against Laurier tonight (7:30 p.m.) and Guelph on Saturday (7:30 p.m.), while the women's team faces Waterloo Sunday at 5 p.m. - all U of T games at Varsity Arena. York women's home opener goes Saturday at 2 p.m. at the Ice Gardens. And oh yes, speaking of rah-rah around the town, it's the Toronto Marathon on Sunday, 9 a.m. start (8:30 a.m. for the half). If you're running, good luck on the BQ or whatever your goal is. And if not, give 'em a hand.

Watching. A's at Tigers, Friday, 4 p.m., Sportsnet. It's 5C with a 50 km/h wind right now in Detroit. That's why they call it the Summer Game.

Pooch punts. In which the official dog of JABS, Jinks the Vizsla, makes five kibble-or-cookie NFL picks that are just as bad as the ones you'll find pretty much anywhere else:

Cincinnati (-6) over TAMPA BAY. He barked on this one, and it sounded a whole lot like "Gradkowski!" Best bet, I guess.

Buffalo (-1) over DETROIT. After last weekend, how could anyone invest even a kibble on the Lions?

Seattle at St. Louis UNDER 44 1/2. I've been trying to figure out what he meant by grabbing the cookie and rolling over. It had to be either the Lions or the under, and one's already taken.

Giants at Falcons OVER 41 1/2. Got up on his hind legs. I get it.

Kansas City (+6 1/2) over PITTSBURGH. Not the kind of pick I'd make, but he's my dawg.

Into the Weekend, and looking ahead

Time to wrap it up here, and a little programming note: Starting Monday and running through Wednesday's season opener, stop by the NHL Bloggers Roundtable, where James Mirtle, Chris McMurtry, Lyle Richardson and Tom Luongo (we've got the Northeast Division covered, anyway) will join me in a look at the season ahead. Have a good weekend all, but not before:

One last read. Pete Rose has been named No. 1 Hometown Hero in a poll of Cincinnati Reds fans, and here's Paul Daugherty in the Cincinnati Enquirer (Catch via Sportspages):

Maybe it's nothing but a bunch of Pete fanatics, wearing out their cells' redial. Maybe Pete fans took home stacks of ballots and lined them up on the drill press in the basement shop. Maybe my definition of a hero is a little different than those who punched up the Hit King. The three criteria from DHL were: 1) on-field performance; 2) leadership quality and; 3) character value.
Rose beat Bench. Maybe on the ballots at Great American Small Park, No. 3 was omitted accidentally.

One last vote. Still on ballots, Gameops.com Editor's blog is looking for nominations for Vendor of the Year, among other categories.

One last burp. Ingredients: 25 kilos of ground beef, two heads lettuce, 15 tomatoes, four onions, 35 cheese slices, 1 1/2 cups of mustard, one cup ketchup, four pickles, four jalapenoes on a custom-made bun. Yes, it's the World's Biggest Cheese Burger.

Sports around town. It's York hosting Toronto in the annual football mismatch Red & Blue Bowl up on the edge of Steeles, Saturday afternoon. And in the OHL, Brampton is home to Barrie tonight, and St. Mike's hosts Sudbury on Sunday afternoon.

Watching. Blue Jays at Yankees, Sunday, 1 p.m., Sportsnet. Two questions come to mind: Can the Jays finish in second place? Can this be called an improvement?

Punter's corner. Last chance for guest handicapper Jinks, who went an uninspiring one win, two losses and a couple of pushes last week with his recreational-purposes only choices of kibble vs. cookie. But everyone, and especially a dog, deserves a second chance:

Minnesota (+1) over BUFFALO. Obviously not impressed after eating the Bills biscuit last time.

Cleveland (-3) over OAKLAND. Just like a dawg, this one.

CINCINNATI (-6) over New England. One that we can both agree on.

CHICAGO (-3) over Seattle. Simply inhaled the kibble here. Not sure, but I think that's a best bet.

Green Bay (+11) over PHILADELPHIA. This is the weekly I'd-never-pick-this-one pick.

The T.O. Show

Let's say this about Terrell Owens. He sure knows how to pick his advisers:

MIKE STONE/REUTERS

"When I see a man of his statue not responding..."

"Terrell has 25 million reasons why he should be alive."

Of all the head-spinning elements to yesterday's story, it was good, in the end, to have gum-chewing, 911-dialing T.O. minder Kim Etheridge deliver the pithy soundbite and remind us what it was about, while providing a bookend to last year's presser on his lawn. Pro Football Talk's Rumor Mill (no permalink; popup alert) has some stuff if you're not TO'd out by now. My eyes tend to glaze over the mention of "Terrell-".

Meantime, and it's not really related, but here in Toronto, we've been led to believe (again) there are 1 billion reasons why the NFL should come here. And the story goes on.

Vaguely related: Did ESPN pipe in pro-Bush Sr. cheering to their broadcast of Monday's return-to-New-Orleans broadcast?

Into the weekend: Materazzi is back

Recovering from the birthday hooley at JABS Mansion, I'm afraid the blog has been a bit spotty the last couple days (picking cheesies out of the carpet and scraping Orange Crush off the walls is a little time consuming).
So we're going straight into the weekend here, after watching all of about 30 seconds of this morning's Ryder Cup coverage on TSN -- "The Ryder Cup is underway!" said the excited announcer. Tiger put his tee shot into the water. Colin Montgomerie strode up next, looking more and more like good old Keith Appleyard, the crowd went nuts ...

BRIAN SNYDER/REUTERS

The glamour, the excitement, the shoes: It's the Ryder Cup.

And off that bit of excitement, that's enough golf, thank you. On to some links and the usual other stuff before the fumigators arrive:

One last look. Marco Materazzi, and his suddenly bulletproof, buttproof chest, has a new shoe commercial out in Italy.

One last read. The Guardian's Richard Williams has seen the Zidane movie that JABS has been all over, and likes it just as much. It opens in the UK next week:

Any conventional film about Zidane would include the astonishing 20-yard volley that won Real the European Cup final on its return to Hampden in 2003, plus the two he scored with his head in the 1998 World Cup final. It would examine, through the use of super-slo-mo, the technical tricks that were particular to him, such as the roulette, in which he deceived a defender by turning his body through 360 degrees, dragging the ball forward with the sole of his boot while in mid-pirouette, facing the way he had come. It would analyse the gift of balance that enabled this heavy-set man to move with such lightness and grace. It would investigate his childhood among north African immigrants in a poor quarter of Marseille; it would catalogue the transfers that took him from Cannes to Bordeaux as a teenager, then to Juventus of Turin and finally to Madrid.
This new film does none of these things.

That's undoubtedly why the guy in the Zidane shirt was among the few walkouts during last Friday's screening at the Varsity (oh, and one more link regarding a release of the film here in NA from one of the co-directors: "This film could certainly play on pay-per-view TV. But we're hoping for theatrical." Let's hope.)

One more film note. Katie Holmes to play Posh in a new Becks biopic? (Thanks to The Offside.)

Weekend assignment. Another tough question tackling the prickliest issues of the day, but that's what we do. Picking up where J.E. Skeets at The Basketball Jones left off, is Pryzbilla the highest Scrabble-scoring name in pro sports today?
UPDATE: Eagle-eyed reader John Richardson sends in this handy dandy score generator and an early entry that rolls into the lead: Wozniewski.

Sports around town. The OHL season is back on, and Brampton and St. Mike's play their home openers tonight. And on Sunday morning all over the place, it's the Scotiaback Toronto Waterfront Marathon.

Watching. Toronto at Calgary, Saturday, 7 p.m., CBC. Forget Ricky Williams. I wanna see Pinball in Coppley and Malcolm in Canali (good catch, Boatmen Blog).

Punters' corner. Ready or not, here's your recreational-purposes-only picks. After a second straight 2-3 week, it's time for a shakeup. I've brought in my dawg Jinks to make the choices, either kibble (visitors) or cookies (home):

BUFFALO (-5 1/2) over Jets. The dawg is nuts.
Cincinnati (+1 1/2) over PITTSBURGH. The dawg is hungry!
Jacksonville (+7) over INDY. The dawg is calming down, a little.
Chicago (-3) over MINNESOTA. Jinks barked on this one. Best bet, that.
N.Y. Giants (+3 1/2) over SEATTLE. This is pushing it. I'd never make this pick. Two in a row on the road? Plaxico would have something to say about that.