Into the weekend: Ka-ching!

It's the Friday roundup. At last, with the holidays just ahead. The cash registers should be ringing with gusto the next couple of days. But enough about Vernon Wells' house.

We're down to the final couple hours in the Christmas auction for a set of NBA guides, and Bob Brown is in the lead, turning this into his own Santa Claus tradition (or, as my grandson simply calls him, "Claus!"). Nobody's topped Bob's $175 bid yet. Window closes at 3:30 pm.

One last read. James Mirtle had a good post Tuesday on exactly what is a .500 NHL team now, and whether the traditional term even is relevant (check out the comments too, for a solid bit of discussion). What exactly does .500 mean in the new NHL, with its OT and shootout losses counting for points in the standing?:

It's a decent question to ask, especially given that, heading into tonight's games, 13 of the 15 Eastern Conference teams had at least as many wins as losses (thereby earning the designation of being 'at .500' or better.) The thing is, however, if everyone can hit that mark, it's certainly not as valuable as it used to be back when .500 teams were those bound for the playoffs.

One more last read. Mike Wilbon, one of the best around, on the raging Phoenix Suns, stop No. 1 on the Raptors' upcoming road trip on Tuesday:

Even as Mike D'Antoni experiments and tinkers, the Suns' importance to the league has grown as Shaq has gotten older, as Iverson and Kevin Garnett have been marginalized, as the Lakers try to rebuild around Kobe in the post-Shaq era, as LeBron James and Carmelo Anthony try to have as much success in the playoffs as they have on Madison Ave. The Suns, without an iconic player, might be the most important team in the league. And right now, as Riley suggested, they're playing like it.

No iconic player? Not even the reigning, two-time MVP?

DON HEUPEL/ASSOCIATED PRESS

McCabe vs Briere: New NHL mismatch.

One last e-mail. Rick Akin noted in the latest Leafs penalty stats posted here that Bryan McCabe was bringing up the rear in penalties/penalties drawn +/-, and decribing himself as a "Leaf fan, without the blinders," goes off some on Mr McCabe:

His usual playoff meltdowns notwithstanding, the guy is having a classic McCabelike year. He does have some pizazz on the Leaf PP, as he shoots the puck pretty well. But after that, where's the beef??
There is very little that this player does at a high level, except get paid. Now, I am not saying he isn't an NHL calibre defenceman - he just isn't a top NHL defenceman, or even close. The NHL is now a pretty fast league, and McCabe's slowness of foot is really exposing him for what he is.
Did the Leafs have to give this guy the big money? Maybe so, it can be argued, and I was one of those who said, albeit reluctantly, go ahead and sign him for the big dough. Hindsight being mighty good stuff, though, would suggest the Leafs should have spent the five mil' on someone else - a good D man, a good forward, or maybe a goaltender. Any number of those Leaf kids who play defence, and can skate in today's NHL, would have been a better dollar value, and maybe, just maybe, have contributed more to the Leaf cause than McCabe.
Hey, it isnt Bryan McCabe's fault that he is Bryan McCabe, and will struggle mightily with the wide-open style the league has adopted. But, he will be in Hogtown for five very long years, and by then even the masses who insist on wearing the blinders will be giving him the Larry Murphy treatment. Perhaps some of those jeers should be directed elsewhere.

One last alert. The World Fishing Network sent along this Christmas morning programming note: The Festive Fish Tank - "It’s for those who’d rather watch the hypnotic, relaxing beauty of an aquarium instead of a burning log," the release says. Commercial free!

One last retrospective. The history of the Air Force. The shoe, that is.

One last funny. McSweeney's pitches 12 Contract bonuses for fantasy baseball players, including this one for incoming Blue Jay Royce Clayton:

If he finishes the season with a batting average above .220, the Blue Jays pay him an extra $1 million. Finishing between .221 and .230 gets Royce a handicapped sticker on his car and the key to every bathroom in the city. If he does the impossible and hits above .231, Royce gets to choose any three people, players or citizens, to get beaned by B.J. Ryan fastballs.

Sports around town. The Sam Ashaolu Charity Prep Showcase goes at York Memorial tonight (6:30 pm start) and tomorrow (12:30 pm start), including plans for a ceremonial dunk by the Duquesne basketballer from Toronto who was shot in the head three months ago but continues to make a remarkable recovery.

Not watching. Ski School, Monday, 3:30 a.m., Moviepix. I recall stumbling across this early-90s bit of CanCon crap a while back and watching in grim fascination for maybe three minutes. It was all I could stand. Now there's a weekend assignment for you: what's the worst sports film ever made? Can you top Ski School?

No pooch punts today. Gotta get out of here and put off the Christmas shopping for another weekend.

Into the weekend: Talking and carolling

A quote, and a little rant to start off, riffing off Wednesday's postgame in Cleveland:

"All in all, we played well. I look at it as a positive thing. We're growing as a team; we're getting better. Three weeks ago, we couldn't have come here and played that well."

And a week before this night and its four-point defeat, the Raptors were eight points better than the same Cavs - so what's up with that, coach? But I'm not picking on Sam here. He's just spinning, like all coaches do. It's more about this North American sportswriting addiction to the locker-room quote, these bromides and warmed-over cliches that we hustle down to get, wait around for, chicken-scratch into our notebooks or transcribe dutifully off the recorder. I did it for years.

Thanks to TV and now the Internet, though, pretty much everyone who cares knows what happened last night. Listening to some player or coach distill it into these little bits of nothing adds - nothing. More interesting is why it happened and how, but rarely is that explored in any depth. Even though it can be a bit pretentious, overall, I'll take the quoteless, British style of match reporting. Will Leitch said it best: access is overrated. And along these lines, here's one for you - via Kottke, former major league pitcher Don Carman's list of stock locker-room answers, favourites (and a few I've written down and banged into the keyboard) including:

7 If we stay healthy we should be right there
12 This team seems ready to gel
14 That All-Star voting is a joke
20 We've got to have fun
26 That's why they pay him _ million dollars

One last appeal. A little while back there was some fun here with the 50 Worst Things to Happen to Sports countdown. Now it's time to put together the answer list: The _ Best Things to Happen to Pro Sports. Any and all submissions appreciated. I've got nearly 20 on my own, but need more.

One last e-mailed Christmas carol. Nice work by Glenn from Arizona on this one:

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true Leafs sent to me
Twelve wingers in need of a drumming,
Eleven players and a Glenn Healy piping,
Ten forwards a-diving
Nine wankin' penalties
Eight goals a-milking,
Seven games a floundering,
Six players a-standing
A fiiiiiivvve game losing streak
Four yapping call ups
Three strung out forwards
Two blind defensemen,
And a broken hockey stick from an ash tree!

One last vidgame "think piece". Newsflash: video games like Madden NFL have enhanced kids' understanding of sports. And here we thought all it did was make them fat (Related: Toronto hosts Canada's NFL Madden finals, Jan. 20 at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre).

One - make that two - last BCS bits. Usually I avoid US college football, but these are too good to pass up: Slate's Chris Suellentrop on Who's #2? and blog fave Neate Sager has his Top 5 Pointless Bowl Matchups, including the Whatchamacallit Bowl here in Toronto sometime in January, I forget when, I'll let Neate tell you:

5. INTERNATIONAL BOWL: WESTERN MICHIGAN vs. CINCINNATI, Jan. 6, Toronto There's nothing wrong with playing a bowl game in Toronto. It's just that a game that ranks below the Meineke Car Care Bowl in the NCAA pecking order should not be held just two days before the national championship game. If this game was held on Boxing Day where it belongs, no problem.

One last interview. Alanah at VCOE got her press pass from the Canucks, and thus was able to get some of those locker-room quotes (see - there's a theme here!):

Alanah: You strike me as a player that enjoys playing to the fans and this bad luck might be getting to you in a personal way.
Alex Burrows: Yeah, a little bit for sure. I haven’t scored a goal in 28 games, but you’ve just got to keep working. Like I said, the bounces aren’t going our way right now.

Alanah, go back to Don Carman's list right now! I believe this one is No. 13. Or maybe 17.

Sports around town. Woodbine's closing day goes Sunday out at the Rexdale plant, with a first post of 12:40 p.m. And here's your Sovereign Award finalists.

Watching. Arsenal at Chelsea, 11 a.m., Sunday, Fox Sports. They're both through to the Champions League knockout round - nice try there, Gooners - but it's the postgame press conference, Wenger vs Mourinho, that might be the better matchup.

Pooch punts. Jinks the Vizsla is back. Went 3-2 last week, and the tail is wagging but good this time around. Actually, it's always wagging when it's kibble or cookie time:

DETROIT (-1 1/2) over Minnesota
NY JETS (-4) over Buffalo
WASHINGTON (+1 1/2) over Philadelphia
New England (-3 1/2) over MIAMI
Denver (+7 1/2) over SAN DIEGO

Into the weekend: Long bombs to short putts

With winter arriving today, JABS Mansion is into full and festive mukluks-and-corn-starch mode, having sacrificed a perfectly good golf umbrella to the wind this morning and getting soaked to the skin, only The National's Abel blaring in the ears to ward off the chill. We're leaving early, in other words, to get outta these wet clothes and into a dry martini.

But first, a quick look around the week's bits, and to put another Canadian football season to bed, let's start with Sean Smith at sportsBabel, who along with Rod Murray wrote The Narrative of Long Bombs, a provocative, thoughtful look at football's military connection. Here's a taste, but read it all:

. . . What is ironic is that this sponsorship comes at a time when the Canadian military has waived its requirement of a minimum fitness level to join the service. While this is clearly one sign among many that the Forces are on a desperate mission to increase their numbers, apparently general recruitment has little to do with requiring fit bodies. The thrust to recruit soldiers via football suggests that there must be some congruency between military and sport cultures.
(snip)
Of course, the choice of an athlete, or any Canadian, to enlist in our armed forces is a deeply personal one that should be respected. But when the business of sports intersects so dramatically with the decisions of our political and military leaders, we should take pause. Canada should support its soldiers, but if war is a continuation of politics by other means, that support should begin before they are sent off to fight. In other words, when the slick marketing campaign is pulled back, are the right questions being asked? And if so, are the right answers being given?
Pat Tillman's family doesn’t think so.

One last e-mail. Wade Tomlin figures the notion of a Sam Mitchell watch in the media is vastly overrated - at least in the Toronto sports media (the Raptors are en fuego, as they say on the sports broadcasts, zooming up to 5-10 on November since Wade wrote this early in the week):

To me firing Mitchell is as straightforward a situation for Bryan Colangelo as you see in sports. You have a team that everyone seems to accept has improved its roster, yet the team is off to forget about a slow start, but a similar one to the horrible start a year ago (1-11, 3-9, there is no real difference) and you have a coach who is now on the verge of his third losing season, who has no previous track record of success as a NBA head coach, who just last year was voted the worst coach in the N.B.A. by league players.
It is getting embarrassing as a fan to hear this idea that the Raptors have some form of excuse for this sorry start, there called standards and the Raptors organization, and many of the people surrounding the team (the announce team, sportswriters following the team), seem to have none when it comes to winning. Fire Mitchell now or this team will continue with its mantle as the new Los Angeles Clippers.

DICK LOEK/Toronto Star file photo

Ballard warms up for '75 Latvia finals.

One last "Is on fire! Let's NBA!" I don't know who did this, but some wicked wit who goes by the handle of Lockdown on the RealGM board has a pretty take in Sam Mitchell: The Graphic Novel. (Just in: Part II.)

One last invitation. To journalists covering next spring's world hockey championships, from the International Table Hockey Federation (via Babelfish, I presume. Either that or Borat):

"Also it is significant that this tournament will be restored in Riga, Latvia. Latvia is not only famous with their noisy and ice hockey loving fans, but Latvia is the first country in the world where table hockey is recognized by country officials as sport."

Table hockey as sport? Now that's a country.

One last Official Golfer of JABS update. That'd be Miguel Angel Jimenez, he of the lobster arms, ruddy ponytail and pot belly, who headed out for nine holes with GolfMagic and demonstrated admirable sponsor loyalty:

AMY SANCETTA/Associated Press

Jimenez: Give me Ping or give me death.

As we crouched down to read a tricky putt on the penultimate green he was intrigued by the shape of the Elmer M1 putter I was reviewing for Golfmagic. But he refused to handle it.
"No, no I cannot be photographed with another putter. That would be wrong, it would be disloyal to Ping. I've been with them for 15 years. Besides they would kill me!"

Sports around town. One of the more intense college rivalries in the neighbourhood gets renewed this weekend as Humber Hawks hosts Sheridan Bruins at 7 p.m. tonight.

Watching. Super Dogs and Horse Relay (3 p.m., Saturday, TSN). Frankly, I was hoping to take in some Elephant Polo this weekend, but I guess this will have to do. Super Dogs? Are they wearing capes? Do they rescue the horses from a burning building?

Pooch Punts. From Super Dogs to Jinks the Viszla, who promises to go at least 1-4 with his kibbles-or-cookies picks this week and thereby keep pace with the other public handicappers:

CHICAGO (-9) over Minnesota
Tampa Bay (+7) over PITTSBURGH
NEW ORLEANS (-7) over San Francisco
GREEN BAY (+1) over NY Jets
Seattle (+4) over DENVER

Into the weekend: More Raptor numbers

Wrapping it up for another week, and this one is almost worth its own post, but let’s just make this a little longer than usual thanks to an email gem from Michael Brandon:

I looked back at your Nov. 21 blog entry, referencing 82games.com, a site I appreciate.
Also, I was looking at the stats of minutes played by players that are either rookies or new to their teams, and comparing them to the Raps. Of all the teams the Raps have played this year, new players to the team have accounted for an average of 19% of the playing time, and rookies have only accounted for 5% of total minutes.
In the case of the Raps, 63% of their minutes are played by players new to the team, of which 16% of total minutes are played by true rookies. Anthony Parker, who has not played an NBA minute in years accounts for 13% of team minutes.
No other team the Raps have played come close in new player minutes (Hawks 33%, Bucks 35%).

To me, that underlines the subjective notion expressed here and elsewhere that lack of familiarity is part of this whole debate. But there’s more from Michael:

I also looked at the W/L records of the league for further insight.
As near as I can tell, the East only is winning 28% of their games against the West (in part because the lower-ranked teams by W/L record have been West loaded early), and they only win 54% of their home games against any opposition.
The Raps have won 60% of their home games (3-2), and probably should have won one out west, maybe two if the stars were aligned (or California fell into the ocean).
So, we have people screaming for the head of Sam Mitchell, because a team with 62% of their minutes eaten up by new players, is one game behind the average this early in the season. I thought that consensus was for the Raps to be average this year (41 wins) or less (30-40 wins).
I don't want to quibble with the numbers on 82games.com. There is nothing to quibble about. However, there is more to the story.

Good points. Thanks, Michael.

Early pre-vegetarian pie-eating contest.

One more email. Regular Tim Farrell weighs in with another Raptor-related observation:

Garbajosa suddenly can't shoot . . . could it be . . . the curse of Vince Carter's jersey??

Not only that, Tim, but T.J. Ford is wearing Rafer Alston’s old number and Chris Bosh has Vincenzo Esposito's. You may be on to something.

One more helping. Here’s a sport where expansion is not only encouraged, but inevitable – until this year, that is, the world pie-eating championships, gone from a marathon to a sprint and now including a vegetarian option (from Times Online):

"They’ve taken things too far this year - pies are supposed to be meat and potato and anything else just isn’t normal," said Dave Smyth, 48, a painter from Hindley, who won the first contest in 1992 when he ate an impressive four pies in three minutes.

One more question. Is this the future of newspapers – making ballplayers even richer? Jon Friedman spells it out in DJI's Market Watch (thanks to DD for the linkage):

Your newspaper operations are a mess and your baseball team is a disaster. So, what do you do? Why, invest heavily in the baseball team, of course.
On Monday, Tribune confirmed that it would pay free-agent slugger Alfonso Soriano $136 million over eight years. It's spending more than $200 million total on many players this off-season, as well as hiring a new manager, veteran Lou Piniella.
As the late, great Cubs announcer Harry Caray might shout in disbelief: Holy cow!

One more press release. Don’t know how this was overlooked, but the Detroit Red Wings have been disbanded. VCOE has the release the world missed.

Sports around town. Look no further than the Air Canada Centre Tuesday, and the Metro Hoops Showcase (6:30 p.m. tipoff), apparently the first-ever high school basketball doubleheader to be played on the hallowed, history-laden hardcourt where Negele Knight once trod. Seriously, they'll put on a better show than many of the recent hoop nights the place has seen.

Watching. The Vanier Cup, live from Saskatoon (Saturday, 3:30 p.m., The Score). Saskatchewan vs Laval, and it should be a hooly. And as is the custom around here, Neate Sager’s got the preview (including the weather forecast - cold, very cold).

Pooch punts. Yup, he’s back, tail between his legs after a piddling 0-5 record that puts him squarely in the league of many of the world's best public handicappers – it’s Jinks the Vizsla, scarfing down another set of kibble-or-cookie plays of the week:

Jacksonville –3 over BUFFALO
New Orleans +3 over ATLANTA
Chicago +3 over NEW ENGLAND
Philadelphia +9 over INDY
SEATTLE –9 1/2 over Green Bay

Into the weekend: Grey Cup libations

Lots to ponder as we head into a strenuous weekend of armchair sports, chief among it this proposition up on the JABS odds board: Kobe Bryant's points tonight vs. Frank Thomas's RBIs next season vs audience for the MLS expansion draft live on ESPN4.

Shot of beer nuts? Check.

It's the Friday roundup. But you knew that already. And while you mull over that last bet, which is almost lifelike, a little treat arrived in the email basket this week: The Gibson's Kicker, billed as the official cocktail of the Grey Cup: "Part smoke and part fire with a hint of fresh lime and paired with a shot of beer nuts". Sounds a bit like a Flaming Mo. I'll pair it with the fish sticks and get back to you.

Meantime, better make do with that Kobe vs Hurt vs. MLS expansion draft prop, because the government gambling shop has done it again. The Grey Cup line is B.C. -7 1/2 in the books, a little light according to my original reckoning. But folllowing along with the theme of almost lifelike, you won't be able to play it on Pro-Line's Point Spread game. Biggest game of the year, one that even casual fans notice, and there's no betting against the line. They're looking out for us. Everybody, now, raise your Flaming Mo or your Kicker or your Champale and toast 'em. Toast 'em good.

One last read. From the Guardian's Sports Blog, the best thing I've read on world footy since all those Zizou rumours. It's Marcela Mora y Araujo (no relation to Haffa, I presume), hanging with Boca's la Doce:

The thrill of the terraces and the beauty of the display of affection hardcore fans offer their team is not unique to Boca, nor indeed to Argentina. But it has an intensity there that has few equals. I once met a Malvinas war veteran in the Boca terraces and asked him if he thought there was a connection between the intoxication and loss of self of the terraces, and the atmosphere of a battlefield. No, he said. "Nobody hates war more than a soldier," he explained, before surveying the scenes on the terraces and concluding: "This is about love."
Later that same day, after Boca had lost 2-0 to River Plate, two River fans were shot dead. Around the city the following graffiti appeared: River 2-2 Boca.

One last piece of blogosphere news. Congratulations and good luck to Raptorblog ringmaster and footstool regular Scott Carefoot, on the move to Sympatico MSN's Sports Channel. That means, of course, that he'll have access to a press pass, poor guy.

One last curling update. George at the Curling News sends along this on those blog-favourite rockin' Norbergs.

One last view. This has been around a bit, but if you've missed it: Aries Spears does Mike and Shaq. (And if you liked that, check out this one sent over from TBJ.)

One last James Bond namedrop. Not much time for Bond. But I do like this.

One (two) last sponsorship deal. An English footy club has signed a marketing deal with Motorhead which includes an all-black uniform with the skull logo (which is just a cheap excuse, really, to revisit this QT-friendly video). And a link to Tom Benjamin for exposing this new NHL award for the runny nose that it is: "Is there anything Bettman won't do to squeeze out a few extra dollars?"

One last warning. This is pigskin freakout weekend, so if you find yourself on the couch a lot this weekend, do try to build in short breaks between the cheezie nibbling. It all starts with the CIS semifinals starting at noon Saturday. That OSU-Michigan thing goes midday (it'll be DVR'd in my house, so please, no giving away the ending before Saturday night). NFL all day Sunday and of course, the Grey Cup Sunday night.

One last Sam Mitchell laff. Two, actually, from TBJ, who I should just hand over the Friday roundup to, because it seems like every one of these has something from them -Coal Region Recipes with Sam Mitchell, and Searching for Sammy Mitchell. I'll miss this stuff when he's gone.

Sports around town. If you can tear yourself away from the couch - and you really should - U of T got its game on last weekend, and now it's York U's turn to start the party Saturday night. The Lions (got it right this time) host Waterloo up at the arena on the edge of forever, a doubleheader with the women at 6 p.m. and the men at 8. Bring your own pajamas. Honest.

Pooch punts. It's true - Jinks the Vizsla really is just as bad as all the other public handicappers out there. After another 2-3 weekend, here's the latest set of kibbles or cookies picks (bonus points, though, for the Grey Cup gobble):

Montreal (+7 1/2) over B.C.
St. Louis (+6 1/2) over CAROLINA
St. Louis-Carolina OVER 44
PHILADELPHIA (-13) over Tennessee
CLEVELAND (+ 3 1/2) over Pittsburgh

Have a great Grey Cup weekend.

Into the weekend: Footballin'

Time to clear the virtual desk off, ahead of Sunday's Argos-Als, which has become the eastern CFL's default setting come playoff time, the Grey Cup just about ready to be brought in by the Mounties. First, though, a trivia note to spring at your next pigskin and chili party - after one of their long-ago meetings, the mayor of Montreal did the ceremonial kickoff before sitting to watch his side win in Toronto, and before boarding the return train had this to say: "I'd be happy to come back to Toronto to kick your balls off any time you want."
Can you imagine David Miller doing the same this weekend, in Hochelaga? Sure.
There's football all around this weekend and next, actually - everywhere but here, it seems. Blog fave Neate Sager has previews on the CIS national quarterfinals. There's the usual NFL stuff - but you don't care about that. Meantime, the countdown is on for next Saturday's national college semifinals, that Ohio State-Michigan hoolie, and finally the National Drunk its ownself. Oh, and if you've got time and feel like reading up on the game, you could do a lot worse than checking this out.

BORIS SPREMO/TORONTO STAR FILE PHOTO

Boudreau: Hockey's Crash Davis.

One last e-mail. Tim Farrell had a worrisome flashback as the 76ers' Andre Iguodala launched a last-second buzzer-beater, trying to overcome Chris Bosh's go-ahead 3-pointer on Wednesday night:

Did you notice the FREAKISH similarities to the end of "the" Carter game last year?
I was there for both games. Last night just weirded me out, I couldn't even enjoy the win. I fully expected Iguodala's shot to go in.
Raps up by 1, Calderon goes to the line, 4 seconds left, visitors have no timeouts. Calderon makes first, misses second.
I was completely certain the Raps were about to lose that game. I'm still having trouble enjoying the victory.

Tim's going back to VC's game-winner last January. My flashback: Iggy's shot came from near the same spot that Carter missed from at the end Game 7 in Philly in '01. Which, tracing the arc, was the beginning of the slide that eventually led through last January's VC return, right to this retooled and new-brand approach. Twice bitten, and finally, one that didn't go down when it could have. We'll wait and see, but that might have been a little karmic payback at last.

One last Leaf memory. Another flashback, this one to former Leaf (and up and coming head coach) Bruce Boudreau, from Eric McErlain: "After just glancing at his numbers for a moment, you realize you're staring at minor league hockey's answer to Crash Davis."

One last financial note. Leafs remain No. 1 in the latest round of Forbes franchise valuations, NHL division (Note for next week: an update to the overall franchise valuations).

One last product placement. The penis basketball chair.

Sports around town. The U of T Blues have a pretty good doubleheader at the Sports Gym to open their Ontario basketball season. The women face national No. 1 ranked McMaster Saturday night at 6; the men, ranked 10th in the country, face No. 7 in the nightcap at 8 p.m.

Pooch punts. Jinks the football degenerate dog went 2-3 last week, not very good, but in his defence he was back-door covered by the Browns and got what he deserved for biting on the Raiders. He's not quite Alpo yet, but he's gotta shape up:

MONTREAL -3 over Toronto
SASKATCHEWAN +7 1/2 over B.C.
St. Louis +3 1/2 over SEATTLE
New Orleans +4 1/2 over PITTSBURGH
NY GIANTS -1 over Chicago

Into the weekend: Low-def football, High-def racing

Time to wrap things up around here in the usual manner, starting with a television note: The Breeders' Cup is available only in High-Definition this weekend, while the Argos-Bombers east semifinal is not going to be broadcast in HD.

So the Breeders' Cup, horse racing's highest-end TV product, watched by a devoted but marginalized audience, gets pushed a little further into the edges.

AP FILE PHOTO

Look at the bright side. At least he's not out there making records.

As for the Argos, low-definition is them. Here they have the seemingly complimentary Ricky Williams (when he's not lining up on the kickoff coverage team) and John Avery in the backfield. They have a receiver in Arland Bruce who can break a game open if he gets the ball - pay attention to those last five words - and a supporting cast filled with Sowards, Talbots and (perhaps, if he's healed) Miles. They have football's all-time leading pitcher. And for all that, their offence is ranked seventh in an eight-team league. Is it Damon Allen? Adam Rita? Pinball? What gives here? This is the Argos' last hurrah at home, so it'll be the last day of pro playoffs here until the spring -- or perhaps even next fall.

One last read. Elliotte Friedman on the Argos:

Let’s bring up another scenario: that Toronto’s offence is seriously overrated, frightening for a group that is the CFL’s worst. In the aftermath of Saturday’s collapse, the frustration came pouring out of Arland Bruce. “All week long, I said I would do whatever it takes. I must have told D.A. 15-16 times that I would do whatever it takes. I was open in the second half. The ball just didn’t come my way.”
Now, there are two ways to look at this diatribe. One: Bruce is a selfish player pulling a Keyshawn Johnson bitchfest moments after the Argonauts lost the right to host the East Championship. Two: Bruce is a fierce competitor who badly wanted to win, just giving honest answers to a question.
I choose the second version.

One last email. Chris Flynn liked the post on Paul Maurice's Wednesday night coaching. Until he got to the part about Glenn Healy:

"Are you a Scotsman or something? ... I just cannot agree on the Healy comment, I find him to be purely obnoxious and he really tries to slam the Leafs."

I'll continue liking Healy, Chris. Even as a non-Scotsman. I must confess another thing: I think Pierre McGuire has done good work this season (There, I said it. I mean it. Let the e-mail blizzard begin.).

One last sign that playing a lot of golf can ruin lives. Kenny G tops Golf Digest's Top 100 musicians who golf. Dweezil Zappa is No. 20 and Bob Dylan is No. 63 (and on the subject of Bobby Z, don your finest biohazard gear and, if you dare, check this out).

One last view. Via kottke, vintage Youtube video of a daredevil trying to fly over the St. Lawrence River in a Lincoln Continental. You fear to watch, but you cannot look away.

One last auction. One of 20 game balls from last July's World Cup final, autographed by Italy's championship team, go up for auction on Saturday in Qatar. Sadly, though, no Materazzi-butted jersey.

One last game: Pong meets the seesaw. (Another find from kottke.)

Sports around town. U of T men's basketball Blues (7-2 for the preseason) tune up for next weekend's regular season with their final exhibition game, 4 p.m. Saturday at the Sports Gym against Humber College.

Watching. Lots to choose from but the Breeders' Cup is it, even if it's only on TSN HD, Saturday at 12:30 p.m. Bernardini is the best horse I've seen since Cigar - and you remember what happened to Cigar on BC day, right?

Pooch punts. Football plays worth the paper that Jinks the Viszla whittled on. Here's his kibbles-or-cookie picks, and keep in mind the boy went 5-0 two weeks ago and 3-2 last week, so he's one hot dog:

Atlanta -5 over DETROIT
BALTIMORE -3 over Cincinnati
SAN FRANCISCO +5 over Minnesota
SAN DIEGO -12 1/2 over Cleveland
Oakland +7 1/2 over SEATTLE

Into the Weekend: This Day in World Series, etc.

Haven't had a chance to post today's TDWS, so let's just blend it all together in the usual Friday fashion round here.

TORONTO STAR FILE PHOTO

Jack Morris, '91 Series ace, as a Jay in '93.

Lots of candidates: the '04 Red Sox, the '02 Rally Monkeys, but I'm headed further into the wayback machine, to a guy who would cement his rep as the finest big-game pitcher of his generation, and cash in with the Blue Jays as they moved into their golden era.

That'd be Jack Morris, and the '91 Twins. Fifteen years ago today, Morris matched up against a young John Smoltz in a classic duel and won out, pitching a 10-inning shutout and the Twins, who had knocked out the Blue Jays on the way to summit, defeated the Atlanta Braves. If there's ever been a better Game 7 pitching performance, I haven't seen it.

Let's wrap it up then . . .

One Two last read(s). The Guardian's interview with former Irish international Paul McGrath is pretty sobering stuff:

The first of those failed suicides came in 1989, soon after he and Sir Alex Ferguson had fallen out for the last time and Manchester United sold him to Aston Villa. "I was in trouble with the club," McGrath says. "I'm drunk and ashamed, on the edge of my bed, and reaching for the knife. I remember the blood pouring across the floor and the screaming of the nanny looking after our boys."

Oh, and there's a new world record in Scrabble: 830.

One last view. Vintage sneakers for sale - only $8500. U.S.

One last screensaver. Ryan from Hoops Addict sends this one along.

One Two last e-mail(s). Joseph DiDanieli wants to see something this weekend:

I am hoping Don Cherry calls out Tucker the way he called out Barnaby. Tucker didn't goad anyone into a penalty like Barnaby but what he did going after Eaves and then not backing it up two nights later was just as cowardly as Barnaby. If Tucker wants to play the tough guy he better be ready to back it up against all comers - not just against people who don't fight like Eaves.

Don't hold your breath Joe. Meantime, J. Pruschka has this to say about Pro-Line, after that rant of a week ago:

I totally agree with you and Queens Park's ban on internet gambling advertising, or whatever they're trying to do. They're just out of touch with reality. Go to a licence system, make the licences super expensive so only the serious companies can afford to get into it & be done with it. What next, they're going to outlaw bookies too? Wait, they already have . . .
I have a question. If "Toronto FC" make it to the MLS playoffs next year or the year after, who do they expect to sit in the stands at BMO Field on a frigid night in October or November?? Would they move the games indoors to the Rogers Centre?

Makes sense. They have been nuzzling Mr. Rogers of late. But if they don't go in there, they could always rename the place FMAO Field.

Watching. Montreal at Argos, CBC, 3 p.m. It seems this time of year these two teams are always hooking up. Playoffs start next week, and depending on how it falls this weekend here and with B.C.-Winnipeg these two could finish anywhere from first to third in the east.

Pooch punts. Jinks was on fire last weekend, scarfing down winners like they were kibble and cookies - which they were, actually. Here's who he's gobbling up this week, even getting into the CFL:

Alouettes +3 1/2 over TORONTO, Atlanta +3 1/2 over CINCINNATI, PHILADELPHIA -7 over Jacksonville, NY Jets-Cleveland OVER 37 1/2, Indianapolis +2 1/2 over DENVER.

Into the weekend: From Pro-Line to No-Line

Time to wrap things up, looking ahead to the annual exercise in masochism known around JABS Mansion as Browns Weekend. It's even supposed to rain. Joy.

But first, with all this idiocy at Queen's Park about outlawing online gaming advertising, a word about the province-run sports lottery, which ought to be sued for false advertising after they played chicken (again) last Sunday, taking the Bengals game off the board. In other words, it's not such a bad weekend to be away after all.

On to the usual . . .

One last read. The New York Times' Vincent Mallozzi caught up with Joe Frazier in Philadelphia this week:

Ten pounds heavier, but millions of dollars lighter, according to Frazier and the marketing people who work with him. Over the years, Frazier has lost a fortune through a combination of his own generosity and naïveté, his carousing, failed business opportunities and a deep hatred for his former chief boxing rival, Muhammad Ali. The other headliners from his fighting days — Ali, George Foreman and Larry Holmes — are millionaires.
But while Ali has benefited from lucrative licensing agreements and remains one the world’s most recognized and celebrated athletes, Frazier lives alone in an apartment one staircase above the gym where he and others train young fighters in a run-down part of town.
“This is my primary residence,” he said. “Don’t matter much. I’m on the road most of the time, anyway.”

One last e-mail. Monday's Notes from a Weekend post wondering where the hell all the hats were when Mats Sundin completed his hat trick brought this one to raise hopes that there is some life in the old ACC-mausoleum-on-Leaf-nights after all, from Aunt Wendy:

My two nephews, Steven, 19, and Matt, 23, were at the game, sitting in the Gold section (I might add that this was a once in a lifetime ticket for them, to celebrate a 19th birthday) behind the Flames bench and when Mats scored his 500th and third of the game in overtime, both of them, along with several others, threw their hats on the ice!
Steven, the 19 year old, had just bought his hat a couple of weeks before (camaflouged Leafs hat, of course!!) and hesitated for only a second in throwing it, sure that he would be able to buy another one after the game, only to be disappointed in finding out that particular hat was no longer available!
So there's at least one hat in a pile of them, that truly was thrown in the best of moments, with no regrets afterward, although a little disappointment.

One last salute. To Eric McErlain, whose Off Wing Opinion is one of the best hockey-centric sports blogs around. Eric has been picked up by NBC Sports, so check him out.

One last view. Joe (Jellybean) Bryant, otherwise known as Kobe's dad, dunks on Kareem (thanks to the TBJ's J.E. Skeets).

Sports around town.  The Pattison Canadian International has a field of 10 at Woodbine on Sunday, along with the E.P. Taylor as good as it gets for major-league thoroughbred racing in these parts - although according to Jennifer Morrison, the heavy rain of this week isn't exactly what International favourite Go Deputy likes.

Watching. Well, whatever comes up in front of me - I'm away, right? But Real Madrid-Barcelona is one of those matchups that carries some potential for fireworks, Sunday afternoon at 3 p.m. on GOLTV.

Pooch punts. Jinks the Viszla went 0-5 last week. Which is, frankly, amazing. I mean, 2-3 or 1-4 is just crappy. But 0-5? That's perfection. This weekend he's scarfing down: KANSAS CITY +5, Denver -4 1/2 (BAD Dawg!), New England -5 1/2, HOUSTON +9 1/2 and the NY JETS -3 1/2.

Into the weekend: College hoopla

Time to wrap it up around here, but not before a quick tour through the usual precincts.

One last read. Sports Illustrated's Tom Verducci polled 22 baseball cogniscenti to come up with the 25 all-time all-stars. And get this - Alex Rodriguez is on it.

One last e-mail. Regular reader John Richardson went down east last weekend to visit with his son Elliott who studies at Acadia and plays for the Axemen. Here's his list of "Ten things I learned from spending a weekend at Acadia with my son and his football teammates":

1) Mount Allison beating SFX on Saturday for their first victory in four years is up near the top of the "most humiliating moments in sports" category -particularly if you have friends who play for the X-men. You can never bring that game up too often.
2) Spending $45.00 on fresh pasta is just about right for preparing the Friday night carbs dinner for 10 football players.
3) Why buy two steaks when you can buy four?
4) Real football fans know the college of every single NFL player.
5) You can buy Alexander Keith's LITE in Nova Scotia.
6) Multitasking involves: watching the NFL network; having your laptop open at all times for MSN Messenger: taking turns playing tunes from your computer; and surreptiously googling answers for #4.
7) Saturday night starts at 11:30 p.m.
8) Sunday morning starts at 11:30 a.m.
9) Never ask a university student, "Do you want some money for that?"
10) It's perfectly OK to clean dishes from the Friday night pasta meal on Sunday evening.

One last quote. "Defence is the toughest job in the world" - Hal Gill (thanks to another regular, Carla, for this one. As she noted, "somebody has only a tenuous grip on reality.")

Sports around town. Rah-rah on the ice all around the town: U of T's men's hockey team opens its OUA season with a pair of home games, against Laurier tonight (7:30 p.m.) and Guelph on Saturday (7:30 p.m.), while the women's team faces Waterloo Sunday at 5 p.m. - all U of T games at Varsity Arena. York women's home opener goes Saturday at 2 p.m. at the Ice Gardens. And oh yes, speaking of rah-rah around the town, it's the Toronto Marathon on Sunday, 9 a.m. start (8:30 a.m. for the half). If you're running, good luck on the BQ or whatever your goal is. And if not, give 'em a hand.

Watching. A's at Tigers, Friday, 4 p.m., Sportsnet. It's 5C with a 50 km/h wind right now in Detroit. That's why they call it the Summer Game.

Pooch punts. In which the official dog of JABS, Jinks the Vizsla, makes five kibble-or-cookie NFL picks that are just as bad as the ones you'll find pretty much anywhere else:

Cincinnati (-6) over TAMPA BAY. He barked on this one, and it sounded a whole lot like "Gradkowski!" Best bet, I guess.

Buffalo (-1) over DETROIT. After last weekend, how could anyone invest even a kibble on the Lions?

Seattle at St. Louis UNDER 44 1/2. I've been trying to figure out what he meant by grabbing the cookie and rolling over. It had to be either the Lions or the under, and one's already taken.

Giants at Falcons OVER 41 1/2. Got up on his hind legs. I get it.

Kansas City (+6 1/2) over PITTSBURGH. Not the kind of pick I'd make, but he's my dawg.