Weekend bits: Deck the brawls

Here's what you might have missed while figuring that 9-2 scoreline was just an office party-induced hallucinatory hangover:

Numerical string to ponder: 37.6, 39.0, 50.6. Give up? Too easy, I know, the last one was a dead giveaway. They're the Raptors' defensive FG numbers for the past three games, all W's, and yesterday's W over the GS Nellies included six Bargnani blocks. He's coming along, and so are they. Meantime, Jose Calderon was stretchered off with a back injury and wasn't on the plane to Phoenix where the Raps open their final pre-Christmas road trip.

Another great weekend for millionaire bozo jocks losing touch with their emotions and reality. The Knicks and Nuggets spilled their slapping and backpeddling into the baseline seats in NY Saturday (video here, although who knows how long it'll stay up), the former blaming the latter for actually playing the game out. The nerve. Suspensions may come down today, with original Raptor turned Knick-killer Isiah Thomas one of the focuses:

The league is certain to punish Anthony, its leading scorer and one of its brightest young stars, for throwing a punch at Collins. As for Thomas, a Hall of Fame guard who is now fighting to hold on to his job, the situation is unusual because there is no known precedent for a team’s coach, let alone its president, to be punished for instigating a fight.

Raptors coach Sam Mitchell, missing the point entirely: "We can't fight. We can wrestle. But we've got a better chance of scratching each other than fighting each other where we actually (land) a punch. ... So why is it such a black eye when these guys lose their temper?" Sam, fighting might be a part of hockey - if they penalized NHL coaches for instigating fights, the bench would be a pretty lonely place many nights - but it's not in the NBA, and when it moves into the expensive seats, it's a puffy shiner for all the world to see.

Oh, and this long-running idiot (the one on the right) spat in the face of an opponent, which means it'll probably show up as an option on the next NFL Blitz game. Meantime, there was Chicago Bear Tank Johnson's weekend: arrested for the third time in 18 months, then 12 hours later out partying with a friend who was shot to death.

Back to the playing fields: Agent Zero drops 60 on the Lakers (Kobe's held to 45).

This is not sports, but it's definitely seasonal: Boss drinks lots of vodka at Christmas lunch party and passes out - on the train tracks, his head on the rail, causing a four-hour delay during London rush hour (nice basket catch by The Morning News).

What I learned from the BBC's 100 things we didn't know this time last year: Jose Mourinho says he's only been in an English pub once, and that was to buy his wife some fags, as they're known over there (so there's 101 things - I didn't know the Special Wife smoked).

Jason Williams' line from Miami's game Saturday night stopped me: 26 minutes, 0 shots from the field or the line, seven assists. Hey, all hail White Carob.

One game away from the midpoint of the Premier League season - and now into the holiday match crunch, as David James notes in his Guardian blog - Chelsea's just two points back of Man United. And in Spain, a bad weekend for Barcelona - losing the yawnworthy Club World Cup to Brazilian side Internacional, and falling out of first place in La Liga.

Australia beats the Poms, reclaims the Ashes.

And still Down Under, a world record-breaking bungee jump.

Weekend bits: A.I., the Trade

Unlike Allen Iverson, the Monday morning links never make trade demands:

A.I. Watch: ESPN's Chris Sheridan has a list of suitors for Iverson and his contract. Two things he suggests: A long list that rapidly narrows to two or three serious contenders (Dallas, Boston, perhaps even New York?) and a quick resolution. Oh, and forget about getting fair value.

The Raptors, minus Chris Bosh, lose a tight one to the Portland Trailblazers, who were missing their best scorer and post-up contributor Zach Randolph. Okay, I'm kidding - the Raptors were destroyed by the Blazers. Line of the night came at halftime, from assistant coach Jim Todd on the Bosh-less offence, without a plan B without Bosh's pick-and-roll sets: "We'd like to go inside if we could find someone to go inside to." Are you listening, Mr Colangelo? It's not like Bosh's lengthening list of ailments is going to go away. This team already needs a shooter. As for their vaunted frontcourt "depth", it was shown on Sunday to be a mirage.

As for the Leafs, I'll take the cue from them and offer up - nothing.

Best read of the weekend, from the New York Times - Yes, you can surf in Cleveland, before the brown water freezes, which ain't exactly Gidget goes to Ohio:

To reach the lake, surfers drag their boards across snowdrifts and beaches littered with used condoms and syringes, Mr. Ditzenberger said. The most popular surf spot is Edgewater State Park. It is nicknamed Sewer Pipe because, after heavy rains, a nearby water treatment plant regularly discharges untreated waste into Lake Erie.

The L.A. Times does a takeout on WADA's anti-doping efforts, and finds that some athletes are getting (surprise) unfairly treated.

Chelsea comes back for a 1-1 draw against Arsenal, which puts them eight points back of leading Man United with a game in hand.

Another Woodbine thoroughbred season ends, Emma-Jayne Wilson and Sid Attard winning their divisions.

Weekend bits: Evolution to elephants

Some things you may have missed this weekend in Maple Syrup Nation:

ESPN's Scott Burnside on the maturation - okay, let's call it the evolution of Darcy Tucker:

"You have to remember how much the game's changed in three to four years. There were so many more scrums in the game of hockey, whether it was during the play and after, and Darcy always found a way to be in the middle of those things," (Paul) Maurice said. "So, as a spectator, it maybe distracts you from watching the other things that he did offensively. Now, with the power play that we have and the way he plays the game, you start to realize that he has a really good sense of timing of when to bring it to the net and when not to. There's a lot more game offensively."

Toronto's Jonathan de Guzman scored the winner to salvage something out of a terrible week for Holland's Feyenoord Rotterdam.

Still on Euro footy in Holland, check out Dutch photographer Hans van der Meer's European Fields photo essay - fantastic (great catch by SportsFilter).

One more from over there: Thierry Henry says he's out for a month with a nerve problem, and perhaps there's more to the story.

The New York Times' Harry Hurt gets in touch with his inner George Plimpton, going under centre for three plays with the Jets:

The offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer waved me to the sidelines for a final dress rehearsal. Nick Mangold, a 6-foot-4, 300-pound rookie center, crouched over to deliver my first practice snaps. I was mortally afraid Nick would hike the ball so hard my hands would break. But he laid it in my palms like a pigskin pillow.
My second fear was that I’d suffer a 54-year-old’s senior moment, and forget how to call my three plays. I actually blurted the correct words, but my voice was so loud it could be heard out on the adjacent turnpike. “Keep your voice down in the huddle,” the starting quarterback Chad Pennington admonished, “like you’re having a conversation.”

For the video, which although a little long is quite well done and very much in the spirit of the dear departed Plimpton, go here.

Haile Gebreselassie, already among the all-time greats of distance running, cruises to his second marathon win in four months, taking the famed Fukuoka in Japan.

The Times Online gets up close and personal with elephant polo, while activists mount campaigns to end it and Scotland beats Sweden for the world title.

And finally, here's How to Say Nothing, as Hockey Night in Canada's Kelly Hrudey sets up Saturday night's Colorado at Vancouver tilt:

"This is hugely important but I don't want people to read too much into this, or make more of it than there really is. It's the first part of December, obviously, and although these are big points and you need them right now, you can make up ground later in the season."

Weekend bits: Video hits and misses

Some flakes here in case you missed 'em while shivering through the Vanier Cup:

Video replay: Sepp Blatter doesn't believe in it - "We have to help referees and have correct control but we must never stop the match with videos or monitors to look at what has happened" - but Ronaldinho surely does after this wonder goal.

It's ski season, John Kucera and Manuel Osborne-Paradis enjoying career best weekends at Lake Louise. But in Europe it's situation critical: No snow.

New word of the day, courtesy of Pistons GM Joe Dumars: Paradocrity.

Their trumpets confiscated, their complaints lampooned, their team humiliated at the "Gabbatoir" - life's rough for a travelling England cricket fan.

The case of the vanishing basket. Courtesy of emailer Andrew Kwong, Here's the video evidence (wait a minute; where were the referees in all of this nonsense?)

One I missed when (too hastily) putting together Friday's post on the gay Leaf movie, so I'll put it up here now: Life in the NHL Closet.

A pitch: Flutie to Argos

What you might have missed while  trying to stay awake during the Grey Cup:

Lame and lamer. As in, what was more mystifying: That "Santa believes in the Ottawa Renegades" sign that trailed the Grey Cup to the sidelines, or Jim Popp, limp-wristing a replay challenge in the closing minutes that was his last chance at breathing some into the Als cadaver. As for the sign, any ideas are welcome. As it turned out, it held together better than the Coupe.

I was going to wrap up more of the pigskin freakout weekend, but Damien kinda covered that off. Good on him for it, too, because it's that TSN Top 50 CFL list that came out Friday night that you might have missed. Specifically, Doug Flutie. With the other news going in that Pinball Clemons would indeed be back to coach the Argos - and the tone of his comments sure sounded like a guy planning to give it just one more season, then retire to a life of being president and Mr. Argo - how about this pitch: Flutie to the Argos, taking over the vacant offensive co-ord job as a prelude to head coach in '08?

If ever any game looked like it could use a do-over, it was OSU-Michigan.

Vanier Cup: Saskatchewan comes home, meets Laval.

Those York Yeo- Lions swept Saturday's pajama-night high jinks.

TomKat nuptials: Beckham a no-show (David, that is).

And from across the pond, a red-card outbreak has reopened the debate on introducing video replay. I have a feeling Jim Popp would say no.

Lions by how many?

Some things from the weekend you might have missed while you were tearing up those "Run Ricky Run" signs:

From dome sweet dome to Winnipeg's great outdoors for next Sunday's Grey Cup, it's B.C. and Montreal. Lions should be clear favourites - let's see what's posted, but I make it 9 points. Arland Bruce, meantime, won't be there.

MLS - better start boning up - has enacted the "Beckham Rule" to allow teams to go over their salary cap to sign foreign stars, while Manchester United have called young  Freddy Adu in for a trial training session: "MLS — which owns his registration, as it does for all US-based players — it seems to be annoyed by the whole thing. One league official, quoted anonymously in the US, said: 'This is the same old Freddy bulls***.'"

Oh yes, Houston Dynamo won Sunday's MLS Cup on penalties with former Canadian international Pat Onstad making the winning save and a couple of Canucks - Dwayne De Rosario and Adrian Serioux - converting their spot kicks.

Brazil wins the beach soccer World Cup (at least a couple of fans found a way to jump the queue to get in), and are into the semifinals and strong favourites to win it all at the women's world volleyball championship. That'll sure ease the pain of Germany '06.

Followups from the Friday file: The U of T Blues men's ballers, whose battles with four-peat national champion Carleton this season will be must-see, will get a boost in the rankings after home-opening with a 34-point mauling of No. 7 McMaster on Saturday. And courtesy of Neate, here's your CIS football semifinal matchups: Acadia vs Laval, Saskatchewan vs Ottawa.

From the good reads department:

Jason Whitlock has something to say to all you ref-baiting David Stern haters:

Stern took the appropriate step to eliminate the problem. He acted in the best interest of his players. Not surprisingly, the players have reacted like Stern stripped them of some constitutional right or outlawed tattoos and strip-club visits. The players union considered suing the league. NBA player groupies in the media blasted Stern, and some even suggested that Stern is an old white man who can’t relate to his predominantly young black players.
Hmm. Young people in general, and young black men in particular, don’t need leaders who can relate to them. They need leaders who see their unlimited potential and have the courage to demand that they reach it.

Charlie Pierce in Slate on the Awfulness of NFL contracts (thanks to Peter for the link):

All football players are in some ways constantly in rebellion against the teams for which they play. The team makes the player play when he shouldn't and then ruthlessly disposes of him when the consequences of that coercion become obvious on the field. One of the great diplomatic triumphs Tom Brady has is that he has managed to become the public face of the Patriots without becoming perceived as a management mouthpiece among his primary constituency in the locker room.

We're No. 2!

A new old tradition revived for Mondays, anyway, here's a few things you might have missed over the weekend while you were busy planning the Stanley Cup parade:

Live from the Italian Alps, it's the world foosball championships:

On Saturday night, Mr. Collignon and his doubles partner, Ismael Saban, also of Belgium, won the doubles championship, besting a Canadian doubles team in a hard-fought overtime match.
(snip)
As for the event, despite a brief flare-up between the Austrian men’s doubles team and the Canadians in the semifinals, the event seemed a warm and familial affair. But that is not to say that there was no opportunity for foul play.

Flare-up. Foul play. Canada loses in OT. Sounds like there's a story there, somewhere.

Germany, You Have a Problem, or, whatever happened to the Summer of die leibe?

That FIFA World Cup final game ball up for weekend auction? Sold for $2.4 million U.S., or $100,000 less than the Ferrari.

James Mirtle, getting a deserved callup to the Globe on Hockey team, wonders where's  the love for Rod Brind'Amour:

Despite all his accomplishments, he doesn't have a Joe Sakic/Steve Yzerman aura about him, and his Ray Bourque style Stanley Cup win really didn't tug the hockey world's heart strings the way it probably should have. (Then again, he's got a ways to go before calling it a career.)
I guess the thing I'm wondering is why no one's talking about Brind'Amour this season. As it stands now, he's an early candidate for the Hart Trophy.

Suns Lose, Rawk the Bawl, Keith's moment

Typepad was acting touchy yesterday afternoon, so I wasn't able to post. I've mixed the bits in here. Consider 'em your morning links, reborn:

In late playoffs last night, soon-to-be-back-to-back-MVP Steve Nash and the Suns lose to the Lakers, and Marc Stein wonders what's happened to their mojo. And in the NHL, Alex Tanguay's OT goal has the Avs on the verge of a first-round sweep of the favoured Stars.

Next, take a spin over to Sports Guy North, where Kent MacDonald has taken up the challenge and done an NBA Rawk the Bawl! Mase vs Kanye, DMX against Lil Bow Wow (!) ... the mind reels, the rim rawks. Well done, Kent. As for the original, Rawk the Puck! is into the conference semifinals next couple of days, so get your vote in and you might win something to put on your mantelpiece or into your CD player.

These days, the morning isn't complete without a look in at Vancouver Canucks Op Ed, and their playoff Joke of the Day.

Then there's this clip of Keith Hernandez's moment of smarmy inanity: "Who's the Girl in the Dugout? ... I thought she was Morganna for a minute, but she wasn't blonde." (From There's Your Karma, Ripe as Peaches)

And you want a short, sharp poke? The Guardian's Joseph Harker on what made Chelsea into the League-winning machine they are today -- ripping off Russians:

The fact is, Chelsea now stands for nothing but greed; the club has become a moral stain on the face of the sport. The more these injustices are tolerated, the more we are all corrupted.

Pimento sandwiches for everyone

Thought for the morning: 110 years ago today, the Olympics were reborn in Athens. The 1896 Games had athletes from 13 countries, and the opening ceremonies were watched by 60,000 spectators and King Georgos I.

110 years ago tomorrow, Georgos founded BALCO.

Just kidding about that last bit. Here's your morning links:

The Masters starts today, and this clip from last year is making the rounds because it has everything: a great shot, that Sunday cathedral of the pines feeling, the utter silence of the crowd watching (and the explosion after), Tiger Woods. This year's edition marks the 10-year anniversary of Norman's collapse, and it's been 20 years since Nicklaus's charge. I'm not much for golf -- but the Masters is something beyond. I covered it once, in 1993, and it was one of those different-world assignments - the fabled foliage has been known to be touched up with spray paint, it's about as conservative and lily-white an audience as you'll find in sports, the pimento sandwiches taste like cardboard and off the tee, no one has a straight lie.

And thanks to Irish Eagle for pointing this Daily Scotsman story out, even if it has a well-duh kind of ring to it: "MEN are nearly twice as likely to walk away from a failing marriage as to abandon their struggling football team, research has revealed. And the divorce rate would halve overnight if men showed the same commitment to their relationships as they did to their teams, according to a study by psychologist Dr Aric Sigman."

Heads-Up Read of the Day: A Fistful of Euros reprints an expats' lament at being stuck in Paris on opening day, poor dear (via Militant Moderate, who has revived the Sportblog roundup, yay!). It's a few years old and the names change, but here's a taste:

Here the stadia thrill to the scrumdowns
And the soccer fans flock to the games
And the chic punt the nags out a Longchamp
Where the women are dames and not dames
But it’s different at Forbes and at Griffith
The homes of the Buc and the Nat
Where the hotdog and peanut share laurels
With the sound of the crack of a bat.

Checklist

Roy Halladay? Check.
B.J. Ryan? Check.

PETER POWER/TORONTO STAR

Scary smoke special effects: Check.

Benjie Molina? Check.
Alex Rios? Yeah!
Highlight reel Vernon Wells catch? Yessum.
Crowd of 50,000? Got it.
Dom Perignon? Gulp.
Ted Lilly? Whoa, settle down.

Okay, A.J., let's play ball.

Also this morning, as the links return (but for how long? I dunno):

In case you were wondering, the Raptors are out of the playoffs (last night's official cry uncle being Sam Mitchell's plaintive "NO FOUL" shout out to Morris Peterson when the veteran committed a needless intentional foul with the game still up for grabs, Celtics up by two and Raptors needing a stop in the last 30 seconds -- smart bunch, these Raps). Meanwhile, the Leafs, including cheapshottin' Darcy Tucker, still aren't conceding anything.

Arsenal go into Turin today, followed by mounds of steaming hyperbole.

Heads-up Read of the Day: Rob Hughes takes a look back.