Weekend bits: A.I., the Trade

Unlike Allen Iverson, the Monday morning links never make trade demands:

A.I. Watch: ESPN's Chris Sheridan has a list of suitors for Iverson and his contract. Two things he suggests: A long list that rapidly narrows to two or three serious contenders (Dallas, Boston, perhaps even New York?) and a quick resolution. Oh, and forget about getting fair value.

The Raptors, minus Chris Bosh, lose a tight one to the Portland Trailblazers, who were missing their best scorer and post-up contributor Zach Randolph. Okay, I'm kidding - the Raptors were destroyed by the Blazers. Line of the night came at halftime, from assistant coach Jim Todd on the Bosh-less offence, without a plan B without Bosh's pick-and-roll sets: "We'd like to go inside if we could find someone to go inside to." Are you listening, Mr Colangelo? It's not like Bosh's lengthening list of ailments is going to go away. This team already needs a shooter. As for their vaunted frontcourt "depth", it was shown on Sunday to be a mirage.

As for the Leafs, I'll take the cue from them and offer up - nothing.

Best read of the weekend, from the New York Times - Yes, you can surf in Cleveland, before the brown water freezes, which ain't exactly Gidget goes to Ohio:

To reach the lake, surfers drag their boards across snowdrifts and beaches littered with used condoms and syringes, Mr. Ditzenberger said. The most popular surf spot is Edgewater State Park. It is nicknamed Sewer Pipe because, after heavy rains, a nearby water treatment plant regularly discharges untreated waste into Lake Erie.

The L.A. Times does a takeout on WADA's anti-doping efforts, and finds that some athletes are getting (surprise) unfairly treated.

Chelsea comes back for a 1-1 draw against Arsenal, which puts them eight points back of leading Man United with a game in hand.

Another Woodbine thoroughbred season ends, Emma-Jayne Wilson and Sid Attard winning their divisions.

Into the weekend: Talking and carolling

A quote, and a little rant to start off, riffing off Wednesday's postgame in Cleveland:

"All in all, we played well. I look at it as a positive thing. We're growing as a team; we're getting better. Three weeks ago, we couldn't have come here and played that well."

And a week before this night and its four-point defeat, the Raptors were eight points better than the same Cavs - so what's up with that, coach? But I'm not picking on Sam here. He's just spinning, like all coaches do. It's more about this North American sportswriting addiction to the locker-room quote, these bromides and warmed-over cliches that we hustle down to get, wait around for, chicken-scratch into our notebooks or transcribe dutifully off the recorder. I did it for years.

Thanks to TV and now the Internet, though, pretty much everyone who cares knows what happened last night. Listening to some player or coach distill it into these little bits of nothing adds - nothing. More interesting is why it happened and how, but rarely is that explored in any depth. Even though it can be a bit pretentious, overall, I'll take the quoteless, British style of match reporting. Will Leitch said it best: access is overrated. And along these lines, here's one for you - via Kottke, former major league pitcher Don Carman's list of stock locker-room answers, favourites (and a few I've written down and banged into the keyboard) including:

7 If we stay healthy we should be right there
12 This team seems ready to gel
14 That All-Star voting is a joke
20 We've got to have fun
26 That's why they pay him _ million dollars

One last appeal. A little while back there was some fun here with the 50 Worst Things to Happen to Sports countdown. Now it's time to put together the answer list: The _ Best Things to Happen to Pro Sports. Any and all submissions appreciated. I've got nearly 20 on my own, but need more.

One last e-mailed Christmas carol. Nice work by Glenn from Arizona on this one:

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my true Leafs sent to me
Twelve wingers in need of a drumming,
Eleven players and a Glenn Healy piping,
Ten forwards a-diving
Nine wankin' penalties
Eight goals a-milking,
Seven games a floundering,
Six players a-standing
A fiiiiiivvve game losing streak
Four yapping call ups
Three strung out forwards
Two blind defensemen,
And a broken hockey stick from an ash tree!

One last vidgame "think piece". Newsflash: video games like Madden NFL have enhanced kids' understanding of sports. And here we thought all it did was make them fat (Related: Toronto hosts Canada's NFL Madden finals, Jan. 20 at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre).

One - make that two - last BCS bits. Usually I avoid US college football, but these are too good to pass up: Slate's Chris Suellentrop on Who's #2? and blog fave Neate Sager has his Top 5 Pointless Bowl Matchups, including the Whatchamacallit Bowl here in Toronto sometime in January, I forget when, I'll let Neate tell you:

5. INTERNATIONAL BOWL: WESTERN MICHIGAN vs. CINCINNATI, Jan. 6, Toronto There's nothing wrong with playing a bowl game in Toronto. It's just that a game that ranks below the Meineke Car Care Bowl in the NCAA pecking order should not be held just two days before the national championship game. If this game was held on Boxing Day where it belongs, no problem.

One last interview. Alanah at VCOE got her press pass from the Canucks, and thus was able to get some of those locker-room quotes (see - there's a theme here!):

Alanah: You strike me as a player that enjoys playing to the fans and this bad luck might be getting to you in a personal way.
Alex Burrows: Yeah, a little bit for sure. I haven’t scored a goal in 28 games, but you’ve just got to keep working. Like I said, the bounces aren’t going our way right now.

Alanah, go back to Don Carman's list right now! I believe this one is No. 13. Or maybe 17.

Sports around town. Woodbine's closing day goes Sunday out at the Rexdale plant, with a first post of 12:40 p.m. And here's your Sovereign Award finalists.

Watching. Arsenal at Chelsea, 11 a.m., Sunday, Fox Sports. They're both through to the Champions League knockout round - nice try there, Gooners - but it's the postgame press conference, Wenger vs Mourinho, that might be the better matchup.

Pooch punts. Jinks the Vizsla is back. Went 3-2 last week, and the tail is wagging but good this time around. Actually, it's always wagging when it's kibble or cookie time:

DETROIT (-1 1/2) over Minnesota
NY JETS (-4) over Buffalo
WASHINGTON (+1 1/2) over Philadelphia
New England (-3 1/2) over MIAMI
Denver (+7 1/2) over SAN DIEGO

Into the weekend: Low-def football, High-def racing

Time to wrap things up around here in the usual manner, starting with a television note: The Breeders' Cup is available only in High-Definition this weekend, while the Argos-Bombers east semifinal is not going to be broadcast in HD.

So the Breeders' Cup, horse racing's highest-end TV product, watched by a devoted but marginalized audience, gets pushed a little further into the edges.

AP FILE PHOTO

Look at the bright side. At least he's not out there making records.

As for the Argos, low-definition is them. Here they have the seemingly complimentary Ricky Williams (when he's not lining up on the kickoff coverage team) and John Avery in the backfield. They have a receiver in Arland Bruce who can break a game open if he gets the ball - pay attention to those last five words - and a supporting cast filled with Sowards, Talbots and (perhaps, if he's healed) Miles. They have football's all-time leading pitcher. And for all that, their offence is ranked seventh in an eight-team league. Is it Damon Allen? Adam Rita? Pinball? What gives here? This is the Argos' last hurrah at home, so it'll be the last day of pro playoffs here until the spring -- or perhaps even next fall.

One last read. Elliotte Friedman on the Argos:

Let’s bring up another scenario: that Toronto’s offence is seriously overrated, frightening for a group that is the CFL’s worst. In the aftermath of Saturday’s collapse, the frustration came pouring out of Arland Bruce. “All week long, I said I would do whatever it takes. I must have told D.A. 15-16 times that I would do whatever it takes. I was open in the second half. The ball just didn’t come my way.”
Now, there are two ways to look at this diatribe. One: Bruce is a selfish player pulling a Keyshawn Johnson bitchfest moments after the Argonauts lost the right to host the East Championship. Two: Bruce is a fierce competitor who badly wanted to win, just giving honest answers to a question.
I choose the second version.

One last email. Chris Flynn liked the post on Paul Maurice's Wednesday night coaching. Until he got to the part about Glenn Healy:

"Are you a Scotsman or something? ... I just cannot agree on the Healy comment, I find him to be purely obnoxious and he really tries to slam the Leafs."

I'll continue liking Healy, Chris. Even as a non-Scotsman. I must confess another thing: I think Pierre McGuire has done good work this season (There, I said it. I mean it. Let the e-mail blizzard begin.).

One last sign that playing a lot of golf can ruin lives. Kenny G tops Golf Digest's Top 100 musicians who golf. Dweezil Zappa is No. 20 and Bob Dylan is No. 63 (and on the subject of Bobby Z, don your finest biohazard gear and, if you dare, check this out).

One last view. Via kottke, vintage Youtube video of a daredevil trying to fly over the St. Lawrence River in a Lincoln Continental. You fear to watch, but you cannot look away.

One last auction. One of 20 game balls from last July's World Cup final, autographed by Italy's championship team, go up for auction on Saturday in Qatar. Sadly, though, no Materazzi-butted jersey.

One last game: Pong meets the seesaw. (Another find from kottke.)

Sports around town. U of T men's basketball Blues (7-2 for the preseason) tune up for next weekend's regular season with their final exhibition game, 4 p.m. Saturday at the Sports Gym against Humber College.

Watching. Lots to choose from but the Breeders' Cup is it, even if it's only on TSN HD, Saturday at 12:30 p.m. Bernardini is the best horse I've seen since Cigar - and you remember what happened to Cigar on BC day, right?

Pooch punts. Football plays worth the paper that Jinks the Viszla whittled on. Here's his kibbles-or-cookie picks, and keep in mind the boy went 5-0 two weeks ago and 3-2 last week, so he's one hot dog:

Atlanta -5 over DETROIT
BALTIMORE -3 over Cincinnati
SAN FRANCISCO +5 over Minnesota
SAN DIEGO -12 1/2 over Cleveland
Oakland +7 1/2 over SEATTLE

Photo of the Day: Morning gallops

ED REINKE/ASSOCIATED PRESS

D. Wayne Lukas at dawn at Churchill Downs this week.

Related: Star handicapper Jennifer Morrison's Breeders' Cup picks:

Juvenile Fillies: 1 – DREAMING OF ANNA 2- BEL AIR BEAUTY 3-CASH INCLUDED (LONGSHOT – HER MAJESTY)
Juvenile: 1- SCAT DADDY 2- CIRCULAR QUAY 3- GREAT HUNTER (LONGSHOT – PEGASUS WIND)
Filly & Mare Turf: 1- OUIJA BOARD 2- FILM MAKER 3-HONEY RYDER (LONGSHOT – SATWA QUEEN)
Sprint: 1- WAR FRONT 2- BORDONARO 4-HENNY HUGHES (LONGSHOT – TOO MUCH BLING)
Mile: 1-ARAAFA 2- ARAGORN 3-GORELLA (LONGSHOT – ROB ROY)
Distaff: 1-ROUND POND 2-BALLETTO 3-FLEET INDIAN (LONGSHOT – HEALTHY ADDICTION)
Turf: 1-GO DEPUTY 2-ENGLISH CHANNEL 3-CACIQUE (LONGSHOT – RUSH BAY)
Classic: 1-BERNARDINI 2-INVASOR 3-SUN KING (LONGSHOT-DAVID JUNIOR)

Photo of the Day: Horse tale

REUTERS

Phar Lap: Preserved, mounted and celebrated in the Melbourne Museum, but still a mystery.

Related: Claims Phar Lap Murdered and Phar Lap murder rap still just a daffy yarn.

Phar Lap 80th birthday marked.

Into the weekend: From Pro-Line to No-Line

Time to wrap things up, looking ahead to the annual exercise in masochism known around JABS Mansion as Browns Weekend. It's even supposed to rain. Joy.

But first, with all this idiocy at Queen's Park about outlawing online gaming advertising, a word about the province-run sports lottery, which ought to be sued for false advertising after they played chicken (again) last Sunday, taking the Bengals game off the board. In other words, it's not such a bad weekend to be away after all.

On to the usual . . .

One last read. The New York Times' Vincent Mallozzi caught up with Joe Frazier in Philadelphia this week:

Ten pounds heavier, but millions of dollars lighter, according to Frazier and the marketing people who work with him. Over the years, Frazier has lost a fortune through a combination of his own generosity and naïveté, his carousing, failed business opportunities and a deep hatred for his former chief boxing rival, Muhammad Ali. The other headliners from his fighting days — Ali, George Foreman and Larry Holmes — are millionaires.
But while Ali has benefited from lucrative licensing agreements and remains one the world’s most recognized and celebrated athletes, Frazier lives alone in an apartment one staircase above the gym where he and others train young fighters in a run-down part of town.
“This is my primary residence,” he said. “Don’t matter much. I’m on the road most of the time, anyway.”

One last e-mail. Monday's Notes from a Weekend post wondering where the hell all the hats were when Mats Sundin completed his hat trick brought this one to raise hopes that there is some life in the old ACC-mausoleum-on-Leaf-nights after all, from Aunt Wendy:

My two nephews, Steven, 19, and Matt, 23, were at the game, sitting in the Gold section (I might add that this was a once in a lifetime ticket for them, to celebrate a 19th birthday) behind the Flames bench and when Mats scored his 500th and third of the game in overtime, both of them, along with several others, threw their hats on the ice!
Steven, the 19 year old, had just bought his hat a couple of weeks before (camaflouged Leafs hat, of course!!) and hesitated for only a second in throwing it, sure that he would be able to buy another one after the game, only to be disappointed in finding out that particular hat was no longer available!
So there's at least one hat in a pile of them, that truly was thrown in the best of moments, with no regrets afterward, although a little disappointment.

One last salute. To Eric McErlain, whose Off Wing Opinion is one of the best hockey-centric sports blogs around. Eric has been picked up by NBC Sports, so check him out.

One last view. Joe (Jellybean) Bryant, otherwise known as Kobe's dad, dunks on Kareem (thanks to the TBJ's J.E. Skeets).

Sports around town.  The Pattison Canadian International has a field of 10 at Woodbine on Sunday, along with the E.P. Taylor as good as it gets for major-league thoroughbred racing in these parts - although according to Jennifer Morrison, the heavy rain of this week isn't exactly what International favourite Go Deputy likes.

Watching. Well, whatever comes up in front of me - I'm away, right? But Real Madrid-Barcelona is one of those matchups that carries some potential for fireworks, Sunday afternoon at 3 p.m. on GOLTV.

Pooch punts. Jinks the Viszla went 0-5 last week. Which is, frankly, amazing. I mean, 2-3 or 1-4 is just crappy. But 0-5? That's perfection. This weekend he's scarfing down: KANSAS CITY +5, Denver -4 1/2 (BAD Dawg!), New England -5 1/2, HOUSTON +9 1/2 and the NY JETS -3 1/2.

Notes from a weekend

Little bits -- very little -- from the weekend and a quiet Monday morning, seeing as there's not a whole lot going on:

Tennis. Yah, tennis. Won't see that here too often. Today is the opening of the U.S. Open in New York, and you're welcome to it. ESPN.com has a poll up this morning on whether you care about the U.S. Open or not, and as of this writing 62 per cent are saying no. What's most intriguing to me is that the only state voting yes: Nevada.  Makes perfect sense to me.

DAVID GUTTENFELDER/AP

Is there a doctor in the house? I think he's choking.

Hoops. They're down to the final eight at the (interminable) world basketball championships, and yep, Chris Bosh is stepping it up. But check out old pal Chris Sheridan's weekend column, in which he notes that Saturday's Italy-Lithuania game featured 13 missed free throws and but two makes in the final couple of minutes. The Azzurri clanked the most of 'em and lost -- "Italy will be reeling from its choke job for a long, long time," he writes, but here's Sheridan's most ripping riposte from a Raptor-watcher's perspective: "Memo to Toronto Raptors GM Bryan Colangelo: "If this is the way all Italian players perform in the clutch, TRADE ANDREA BARGNANI IMMEDIATELY." Actually, my first thought was how Bargnani's decision not to go to the worlds was vindicated in those two minutes. At least he won't have to carry the collapse around with him.

Football. The Argos looked better on Friday night than they have all year (although Winnipeg surely gifted them some with the late meltdown). Even in the pass-heavy CFL, a commitment to running the football is the best guarantee of success and the Argos, post-Kent Austen, are showing that. As for the NFL, opening night is just 10 days away and here's a sleeper for your fantasy league draft: Browns RB Jerome Harrison (Disclaimer: Browns fan talking).

Horse racing. Having pitched a shutout at yesterday's Woodbine Handicapping Challenge (media division) -- congratulations to winner Shale Wagman and runner-ups Sheldon Usprech and Tony Natale, all of them winning entry into Vegas for January's 2007 national handicapping finals, and presumably some tennis bets -- I really have nothing to say except I'm tired of races coming off the turf when someone spits on the course. That's my excuse, anyway (to say nothing of the advent of Polytrack at the Rexdale plant come Wednesday night, which will no doubt be my next one. Only seven six races filled for Wednesday's debut of the faux-dirt, 63 49 horses entered in all -- UPDATE: I miscounted, adding a grass race to the mix -- Sounds like a wait-and-see vote from the backstretch.)

Mo update: On Friday the blog asked for some great Mo's in Toronto sports history. E-mailer John Reid sent in one Mauro Gozzo. Give that man a Flaming Moe!

Day 21: Day at the Races, Night at the Beach

FRANKFURT, Germany

Ageism: 47 Mundial years added
Pallor: Rosy
Forecast: Sunny and warm

It was all going so well, so perfect, so day-offy.
We were at the Beach Club in Frankfurt’s warehouse district last night, a more charming and compact version of the formula employed by the grim Docks in Toronto: On the north bank of the Main River, the gamut was being run from vigorous activity (beach volleyball, beach badminton, beach table tennis) to sedate contemplation in a lounge chair, nursing a sundowner while the house sound system thumped away.
An oldie had just finished – Eurhythmics’ Sweet Dreams, and it was good, 1983 all over again – and after a late-afternoon-into-early-evening at the racetrack I was lost in a revery, barely noticing the next tune starting up and suddenly my colleague Mr. Brunt, sitting across the way, looked stricken.
“Oh no,” he said.

FRANKA BRUNS/AP

Hard not to "Feel the Love" in Germany these days, even at the Reichstag.

But first about the racetrack – the galopprennbahn. The difference between mediocre and good at the track is simple and has everything to do with customer comfort. At the Renn-Klub-Frankfurt, there’s a railside biergarten at the clubhouse turn where you can sit under linden trees and study the program or, if you’re really ambitious, the racing paper Sport-Welt. Steps away is the walking ring where the horses are brought, guys with rheumy eyes and beautiful women dressed to the nines sizing them up, the connections gathering and an ancient steward rings a bell hanging on a tree for riders up. Handicapping by sight, I had a decent day financially – a little longer nose in the sixth, my nightcap, and I would’ve walked out of there with a fat wad of profit – but really, in a place like this, there is no bad day. People bring their dogs to the track here, for pete’s sake (I must call John Siscos when I get back to see if I can take Jinks to Woodbine). In the vast infield, there’s a driving range and a pitch-and-putt golf course – throughout the card, there was the incongruous sight of men walking in with golf bags slung over their shoulder, heading for the tunnel that went under the turf course (rated “gut”) and took them to the practice spot. I asked one regular reading Sport-Welt if a horse had ever been hit by a golf ball. He smiled. “Only the horses I play,” he said. A real wiseguy, this one.
I could’ve gone to an art museum, I suppose, or done some sightseeing, but this was pure relaxation: Watch the horses in the walking ring, walk over to the mutual window across to place a bet, walk to the small grandstand to watch the race, come back via the biergarten for the next, and it all starts over again. The World Cup seemed as far away as the Frankfurt skyline off in the distance. Back at the Beach Club, I wasn’t sure what Brunt was getting at. Then I realized – those chords, that strummy guitar, that whiney, faux-Peter-Frampton voice starting up: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah … Feel the Love Generation,” he sang.
Here we were at the end of a great day, and one of the World Cup’s most inane, officially-licensed pregame assaults was coming on. Every match, you hear this one. Feel the Love Generation – it sounds like Japanglish, something you’d see on a T-shirt in Tokyo. Hear it enough and it becomes this aural tapeworm, looping inside your head as you walk home from the train station, or with the morning coffee – it’s inescapable!
We got up, padding over the trucked-in white sand and out into the parking lot and a waiting taxi. It wasn’t the perfect ending to the day, but it was a perfect escape.

Tomorrow’s menu

Germany vs Argentina. This is certainly the game of the tournament so far, with a number of great matchups -- Mascherano marking Ballack, Frings on Riquelme, and forwards like Crespo and Klose and Podolski terrorizing defenders. At the bet shop, it’s a pick-em proposition. Ever so slight edge to Argentina, whose coach Pekerman has made all the right moves and has shepherded many of these players through pressure-packed, hostile encounters before. Argentina 3, Germany 2.
Italy vs Ukraine. The teams drew 0-0 in an exhibition game on June 2, Shevchenko missing out with injury in that one. Now he’s back, against Italy team rocked by news that their friend and Juventus caretaker manager Gianluca Pessotto was in hospital after falling from the team’s office building. They’ve managed to pull together here so far. Italy 1, Ukraine 0.

They're at the post

Time to wrap things up around here, right in the middle of our Blue Jay bloggers roundtable, but before dispensing with the usual send-off into the weekend, a note pointing ahead to next week -- specifically Tuesday, in conjunction with the Jays' 30th season opener. If you have any opening-day memories, stories and anecdotes send 'em along and we'll have some fun -- you might even win a prize from the library for it. Oh, and speaking of opening day . . .

Sports around town. It's Woodbine, back in the saddle on Saturday, with lots of talk about the installation of a Polytrack surface this summer (how long until the drums start beating for year-round thoroughbred racing in these parts? They're kicking around the artificial dirt even in better climes like California). Here's one to check in on from time to time: Longtime Star handicapper Jennifer Morrison has her own blog.

One last look. Andrea Bargnani - the next Nowitzki?, and another clip over at Raptorblog. One thing we do know: Bryan Colangelo likes him a lot, and he's not alone among the NBA GM fraternity.

Two One last read(s). Following on Bargnani, Raptors HQ has its latest European update, and to augment your Final Four viewing, check out Scott Carefoot's top 10.

The highest-valued sports club in the world has the Red Devil Airbus A380 to prove it (thanks to Alex Della Rocca for the picture).

Factoid. Combining those Forbes franchise values from Thursday, here's the top 10 franchises overall (soccer, and the four top North American pro leagues) plus some others of interest (US $):

Manchester United $1,373 million
Washington Redskins 1,274 mil.
Dallas Cowboys 1,063 mil.
New England Patriots 1,040 mil.
Real Madrid 1,012 mil.
Philadelphia Eagles 952 mil.
New York Yankees 950 mil.
Houston Texans 946 mil.
AC Milan 921 mil.
Denver Broncos 907 mil.
Plus:
Boston Red Sox 563 mil. (No. 2 in MLB)
New York Knicks 543 mil. (No. 1 in NBA)
Toronto Maple Leafs 325 mil. (No. 1 in NHL)
Toronto Raptors 278 mil.
Toronto Blue Jays 214 mil.

Watching. LSU vs. UCLA, NCAA semifinal, Saturday, 8:30 p.m., Sportsnet/CBS. Lots to choose from this weekend, but LSU look to me like the class of this tournament -- which means they're probably going to lose, the way this tournament has gone.

Not watching. Friday Night Fights, Saturday, 8 p.m., TSN. If it's Saturday, why are they called Friday Night Fights?