Jim Kenzie's The Driver's Seat

How Many Race Cars can Balance on a Tea Cup?

Based on this display in front of the William Ashley China store on Bloor Street West, at least a quarter of one, since it is taking four of them to support this IndyCar:

The detail shot (right) says that each tea cup is supporting 387 pounds.

(For those of you who have lived in or were born in Canada over the last 37-odd years, that would be 175.5 kilograms. Did nobody at William Ashley get that memo?)

The display raises at least three questions in my mind:

1. How the heck did they do this? OK, they used a crane, but EXACTLY how did they stickhandle that thing on top of those tea cups?

2. How many crushed tea cups ended up in the dumpster behind Ashley's the next day?

3. Who the heck thought up this idea?

Looks pretty cool, I have to say.

Expensive Cars in Yorkville? You bet...

The Fourth Annual Exotic Car Show in Yorkville proved to be a big success

Even if they did shut down the barbecue before I got to it. That's enough to get me drummed out of the Auto Journalists Lodge, where our licence plate frame motto is: "Eat Free Or Die".

But there sure were some tasty morsels in an automotive vein down there.

The day started ominously - I could hear the animals lining up two-by-two outside my bedroom window as the heavens opened up. It poured in Yorkville too, but fortunately, things cleared up before the show opened at noon.

Lots of amazing cars - Aston Martin, BMW, Corvette, Ferrari, Ford GT40, Lamborghini, Lotus, Maserati, Mustang, Porsche, the list goes on.

I'd give my vote for the best paint job in the show to this matte-red 2004 BMW 645Ci (left).

They weren't all exotic nameplates though. There were several Fords, mostly Mustangs (although the GT40 is pretty exotic).

And one of the real show-stoppers was this lovely 1932 Ford hot rod (right).

The Batmobile replica was there too, but aside from its appeal to the kiddies, it was out-shone - in every sense of that word.

Some very nicely dressed people people too - as you'd expect in Yorkville, compared to, say, oh I dunno, Milton...

And a proponderance of those tiny little dogs that wealthy people seem to favour - a friend of mine calls them 'kick-me!' dogs because that's what their yappy little barks seem to be saying.

But how could you kick a little Frisson-Bengue (or whatever this thing is) who's wearing a Ferrari jacket??

 

Expensive cars in Yorkville? Imagine that...

Sunday is Father's Day, and if you want Dad to aim a bit higher than a Camry, get him down to the 4th Annual Yorkville Exotic Car Show.

These folks must know somebody, because they get to shut down Bloor Street for pretty much the entire day and line it with gorgeous cars, old and new.

Porsche, Ferrari, Lamborghini, even the BatBerry, a replica of the Batmobile.

Targa Newfoundland - still the most fun you can have in a car with your clothes on - will have a display there too, and I will be there from noon onwards.

The show's web site tells you all you need to know - check it out here.

Hope to see you there.

Traffic Light Synchronization in Toronto?

Toronto City Council voted recently to spend upwards of eleven million dollars on traffic light synchronization in the city.

Wait a minute...

When I went to university - yes, there were cars then - we ('we' because we carpooled, dontcha know...) knew instantly when the traffic light computer was down because it took way longer to get to U of T from the Bathurst-Lawrence area where I and my fellow carpoolers lived.

I also once met the computer salesperson who had just had his territory changed so he missed out on the huge commission from the sale of new traffic computer equipment to the city.

So, we had traffic light synchronization computers way back then.

What happened??

OK, so Toronto grew a little.

I guess they failed to upgrade the system to keep pace with that growth.

One councillor, Josh Matlow, noted that the growth itself is in fact directly affecting traffic patterns - while all those new condos (which we seem to need so desperately despite reports that 70% of the ones we have are empty) are being built, you'll often see one or more lanes of allegedly public roadway closed off to enable the construction vehicles, concrete and gravel trucks, etc., easier access to the site, helping fatten the very private purses of the builders.

A pox on all of them, sez I.

Meanwhile, sure - let's try to get traffic moving more smoothly with better traffic light synchronization.

I'm sure we all have our favourite bad intersections which should be addressed first: me, I'd vote for Leslie and York Mills and Bayview and Sheppard among the worst I encounter regularly.

Of course, if Toronto would simply follow the lead of more advanced cities - i.e., just about every city in the world except in North America, although Waterloo is not far away - and convert as many of our intersections to roundabouts as soon as possible, we wouldn't even need traffic lights, let alone traffic light synchronization.

Hey - I can dream, can't I?

Doesn't ANYBODY Care about the Environment - Chapter 2

Apparently, I misunderstood the press release from General Motors about remote starters becoming standard equipment on 2014 vehicles.

The headline on the press release read, and I quote - well, I can do better than quote, I can cut-and-paste:

GM to Make Door Unlock, Remote Start Standard

You wouldn't think those words left much room for misunderstanding.

And yes, I did read the entire release!

But it turns out remote start will not necessarily be standard.

What will become standard for vehicles that DO have remote start is an app called RemoteLink, which will allow you to operate door locks, lights, horn and that disgraceful remote start function from your smart phone.

Also, it will continue to be operative even if the customer does not choose to renew his subscription to OnStar.

The press release also states, "Remote start is the most popular remote service by current users of the RemoteLink Mobile App."

Which is the saddest news I've heard today, and is the reason for the title of this blog post.

The fact that GM is making it even easier for wusses to use remote start is almost as bad as making it standard.

Because nothing changes the fact that remote starters are an offence against nature, and should be banned.

So there.

Doesn't ANYBODY Care about the Environment?

We're on Day Two of the AJAC EcoRun, designed to illustrate to Canadians the terrific advances in fuel-saving technology that the industry is making available, and to show that you can improve your own fuel consumption no matter what vehicle you're driving, by adopting a lighter-foot approach, and applying a bit more common sense to your driving style.

One of the most important things you can do to save fuel of course is - not idle.

By definition, you're using infinite litres of fuel per 100 km - getting zero miles per gallon - if your engine is running and you're not going anywhere.

And no, it does NOT take more fuel to re-start your engine than to keep it running. A study done many years ago for big trucks showed that shutting the engine off and re-starting it 30 times a minute - i.e., about as fast as you can do it - still uses less fuel than idling it for that minute.

The 'Eco' driving course we all took prior to doing this EcoRun said that if it looks like you'll be idling for more than 30 seconds, you should shut your engine off.

I think it should be an even shorter time than that, but 30 seconds at most...

Some jurisdictions - including Toronto - have an anti-idling by-law, although it seems more honoured in the breach than in the observance.

Idling is stupid, but idling when the engine is cold is even stupider. In fact, it's the worst possible thing you can do for your car's engine, short of sabotage.

The raw gasoline can wash the lubricating oil off cylinder walls, leading to premature wear.

And the engine also operates more efficiently when warm, and it warms up faster when under load - i.e., when you're driving.

As soon as the engine runs smoothly after a cold start - 10 -15 seconds tops - you should get rolling.

So while we are here spreading this Save The Trees gospel to the masses, what does General Motors do?

Announces that remote starters will become standard equipment on all their 2014 vehicles that are OnStar-equipped - which I think is almost all of them.

The Remote Start nonsense is part of a package of remote services available through a 'RemoteLink Mobile' app, which includes remote unlocking and horn/lights activation via a smart phone.

Lights, horn and unlocking, maybe.

Remote start?

Don't even think about it.

Geez GM, not only does your timing suck with respect to announcing this during EcoRun, but the whole idea sucks.

Warming up a car interior with an inefficent gasoline engine is the worst possible thing you can do - for your car, for your wallet, for the environment.

I know people who have these damned things - and leave their cars running for 10 minutes, 20 minutes, half an hour, while they drink their morning coffee - love them.

But come on - car companies go to all this trouble and expense to make their cars more fuel-efficient, then they pander to these wusses whose tushes are too tender to sit on a cold seat cushion for two minutes?

We all suffer the resultant higher car prices because of the added fuel saving technologies that governments are mandating, and these people are throwing this fuel away because they're too cheap to buy a pair of gloves?

At least the car companies should be forced to put a warning sticker on the sun visor saying, "Using Your Remote Starter Today Will Kill A Tree Tomorrow", or words to that effect. I'd be happy to help with the wording.

Your car has a cup holder - use it, and take your coffee with you.

And if it has a remote starter, please, if you care at all for your environment, do NOT use it.

For all our sakes.

Eco Run Mark II - Diesel-Electric Automobiles

It is the second (now-we-can-call-it-annual) Eco Run, presented by the Automobile Journalists Association of Canada.

A covey of 23 journalists from across the country have assembled to drive a covey of vehicles which represent the industry's best examples of fuel-saving technology from our Nation's Capital to Montreal.

It's not just electrics and hybrids either, although they are well-represented here.

But neither type of vehicle has found much favour amongst Canadians - well, amongst anybody, really. Gasoline is just not expensive enough to make them worth the up-front cost, the fuss, the bother, and the unknown down-the-road reliability, repair and recyclng issues.

Besides, the strides made by gasoline-engine manufacturers are, as I have said before, the real technology story of this decade.

One of my mounts today - the Mazda6, a mid-size sedan with the company's so-called 'SkyActiv' technology which includes a direct injection gasoline engine - recorded a very impressive 5.6 litres per 100 km on a mostly-highway trip from downtown Ottawa to Chateau Montebello across the river in Quebec.

OK, so I was hardly lead-footing it as I - um - have been known to do on occasion.

Because the other goal of this event is to illustrate that by driving smart and carefully, you can save a boatload of fuel.

In last year's run, every single car was able at one point at least to meet or exceed its Transport Canada fuel economy numbers.

Accelerate gently, anticipate traffic slowdowns, coast down when possible, eliminate idling, keep your speed down - all common sense techniques, except that they aren't very common.

It was hardly scientific, but I also tried a few times to switch on the Air Conditioning while on a flat stretch of highway to see how that impacted the fuel economy. The 'delta' varied, but typically the 'instant' fuel consumption shown on the car's dashboard rose about 1.5 litres per 100 km. For example, 3.9 to 5.4.

Add that up over a long trip, and what price comfort?

One thing you can do on a really hot day is run the A/C for a few moments to cool the car down, then shut it off again.

My favourite moments on these events always involve how we keep the electric cars charged en route - by plugging them into a Diesel-powered generator.

In this shot, taken on the roof of the parking garage of the Chateau Laurier hotel in Ottawa, you can see the generator amping up a Smart electric car.

There's a Ford Fusion electric hiding in behind the Smart.

The Chevrolet Volt plug-in 'extended range' electric had just pulled out from in front of the Smart.

Incidentally, that generator is towed from venue to venue by a big ol' gasoline-engined pick-up truck.

Doubling the irony, the electrics were all the while blocking the gasoline cars from leaving - the white sedan to the left of the Smart is my Mazda6.

I rest my case...

Kia Rio with Folding Side-vIew Mirrors

This is no biggie; I just thought it was kind of interesting - first of all, that a car as inexpensive as a Kia Rio actually offers folding side-view mirrors, and that they open automatically as you approach the car, before you even unlock it.

Check it out here.

One of these days I'll find the little 'lavalier' microphone I bought so I can add voice-over audio to these video clips in addition to ambient sound.

Meanwhile, dig those special effects...

 

Chinese Road Signs

In Wheels a week or so ago, I mentioned how brutal driving in China can be.

I guess though you have to toss the authorities a bone - they are trying to educate their drivers.

Part of it is with road signs that at least contain attempts at a bit of humour.

Often, they use little cartoons to make the point.

Now, you wouldn't think whimsy would be a Big Thing in a Communist dictatorship - maybe there are practical reasons for the cartoons.

I don't really know how many languages and dialects there are in China - I do know that Mandarin and Cantonese are the two major ones. Perhaps there are others, perhaps drivers might be from different regions, perhaps the subtleties of the Chinese characters might vary and be hard to distinguish especially at freeway speeds, and you'd assume the cartoons would be universally understood.

I also don't know if overall literacy is an issue; you'd think if they got a licence they'd at least have to be able to read.

Although as I said in that earlier column, judging from the way they drive over there, there's scant evidence that anyone has a licence, let alone took a driving test, let alone ever had a lesson.

So maybe cartoons address that issue.

Whatever the reasons, it'd be pretty hard to ignore the message this cartoon is presenting.

Or:

 

And:

There was also one reminding you not to drink and drive, showing a 'tipsy' car running into another. I wasn't able to grab a shot of one of those - and yes, I was a passenger when I took these.

Now, other signs are not so clear. Not sure what the top part of this one is saying:

Do not enter if your car is in the process of exploding, perhaps?

And while I really shouldn't make fun of their attempts to make driving there a bit easier for foreigners by doing some signs in English, you just can't help chuckling when you see:

For sure, their English is a hell of a lot better than my Chinese - Mandarin OR Cantonese. Still, you'd think there'd be enough English speakers there by now so this sort of thing doesn't actually get out there.

A Pass is a Pass is a Pass...

Is there anything more boring that watching a GoPro video clip of a car lapping on a race track - when driven by someone else?

So I have cut this bit of me driving a Jaguar F-Type S - that's the 380 horsepower V6 version of the car - at Circuito de Navarra, near Pamplona Spain, down to a mere 24 seconds.

I don't know who the driver of the other F-Type is - maybe some stroke 'lifestyle' journo who has never been at, let alone on, on a race track before.

But hey - it's my blog.

Enjoy - or suffer - here...

And if you missed my preview test of this car, let me summarize - F-ing Fantastic...