OK, so this is a blog on cars.
But some people think NASCAR racing is boring - round and round they go, where they crash, nobody knows...
So I figure that opens it up.
As a general sports fan, I thought I'd better watch the biggest sports event in the world (until the London Olympics open later this month).
The UEFA Euro Cup.
In the parlance of the text-iverse / tweet-iverse:
Grass is growing out there, and you're missing all the action!
Paint is drying out there, and it has to be watched!
Did I really hear that one Spanish player made four hundred and forty-five passes in this tournament? Most of them laterals or towards his own goal?
The first shot on goal in the final - a decent chance from out front - after ten minutes of play?
Six shots in total on the poor Italian goalie, four of which went in?
Casillas of Spain may be the best goalie in soccer today. He had to stop four shots. Martin Brodeur should have it so easy.
And don't even get me started on the diving.
They don't even know how to celebrate the win in soccer. Everyone just milling about for half an hour, their kiddies running around aimlessly on the field, no formal handshake between the teams.
Nobody does that better than hockey.
In the "credit where credit's due" department, there does still seem to be a role for the little guy in soccer. Some of these dudes didn't look much more than 5'8", 160 pounds. Legs like Colossus, but you'd expect that.
And what they can do with their feet is amazing.
One aspect of the celebration they did get right - the guy with the engraving tool was on the spot and 'Espana' was put on the trophy before it was handed over.
I get it - soccer is popular.
Celine Dion sells a lot of records; it proves nothing.
I understand that in the third world, they don't have ice, and can't afford anything but running shoes.
Maybe not even running shoes.
But once you CAN afford skates - people, move on.
No wonder there's so much rioting at soccer games - there's nothing to watch down there.
With a few minutes to go, a 4 - 0 lead in soccer is like 10 - 0 in hockey. But Spain kept pressing for another, with Italy a man down due to injury (only three subs? What's up with that?...)
Even Don Cherry would be right on this count - the game is over; don't run up the score.
Nothing 'beautiful' about that aspect of the game.
The four goals probably set some sort of record. The usual inevitable 0 - 0 score (as it happened, the result of the Spain - Portugal semi-final) indicates that scoring a goal in soccer is one of the most difficult things to do in all of sport, never mind that the net is about the size of Rhode Island.
So how do they settle ties?
They stand on the dock and kick the ball into the water.
Twenty guys run their butts off for 90 minutes (the two goalies don't run all that much) and it's pretty much always decided by a goal post (they actually keep a stat on "attempts against woodwork"'! You could look it up...) or by the goalie guessing wrong and the shooter chipping the ball over his prone body.
Shoot-outs ('penalties' in the soccer vernacular) of course make even less sense in soccer than they do in hockey. My daughter has a vastly better suggestion, for either sport - a two-on-one, thirty seconds to score, then the other team gets its chance. Three chances each, then one at a time until a winner is declared.
Brilliant. More like the Canadian Football League's tie-breaking system - genuine football (or in these cases, soccer or hockey) plays.
Actually, they could probably just start soccer games like that, save us all 90 minutes of boredom and we could all get home in time to watch the NASCAR race.
Let the flaming begin!