They say the three things you should never do with anyone you're planning on sleeping with are:
- play competitive bridge;
- go sailboat racing;
- take part in a car rally.
All three involve decision-making on the part of two (or more) people, and all can lead to - well, disagreements, which could have, um, repercussions.
Not that you necessarily have to sleep with your co-driver...
It's the Fifth Annual "Rally 'Round the County", taking place this coming Sunday, May 26, in Milton Ontario.
It won't involve you hair-assing along forestry roads at warp speed, nor does it require a race-prepared car or any special equipment. If you and your vehicle each have a licence and you can scramble up a calculator, you're in.
The event falls in the category of 'TSD Rally' - Time, Speed and Distance.
The route instructions will tell you where to go (the navigator gets to do the same to the driver...).
Said instructions will also tell you - in a variety of ways - exactly what speed you should be going along each section of the route. Checkpoints may appear at any time, so it's best to stay as close to the calculated speed as you can at all times.
Don't worry if you've never done this before. The route is being set by the Kitchener-Waterloo Rally Club, and they will have experts on hand to help you through it.
And while there is some math involved, if you can balance your chequebook, you'll be good.
The entry fee is $60 per car. You need a minimum of two people per car, but feel free to bring the kids or any other moral support you can legally fit in the car.
A barbecue lunch is included after the event. Proceedings begin at 9 a.m., with the first car away at 10. The route should take about two hours to complete.
There will be prizes for the top scorers, as well as for best costumes. Yes, you are encouraged to dress up and have some fun with this!
There will also be a silent auction, with many interesting and valuable items on offer.
All proceeds go to the local Halton Chapter of Girls Inc., a charitable organization dedicated to running programs to help girls to be 'strong, smart and bold', to help them navigate economic, gender and social barriers, to achieve academically, to lead healthy and physically-active lives, to navigate media messages, and to discover an interest in science, technology, engineering and mathematics.
Starting place is Country Heritage Park, 8560 Tremaine Road, Milton.
Find directions here.
To pre-register - please! - call Mike Primok at 905-876-6504, or by e-mail, firstname.lastname@example.org
I also know you've all been dying to see my 1977 AMC Hornet hatchback up close and personal (shown above with members of the Rally Organizing Committee).
Here's your chance.
Hope to see a lot of you there!