Jim Kenzie's The Driver's Seat

Spring is Sprung, the Grass is Riz...

...I wonder where the window switches is?

***

Yes, it looks like maybe we can finally take our winter tires off.

How do I know?

Because I was driving in mid-town the other day, I was stopped at a light beside a guy in a white Cadillac CTS, and he had his windows all rolled down - yes, it was finally warm enough outside to do that.

But he also had his stereo turned up to the proverbial 11, with some massively crap filth coming out of it.

I couldn't call it 'music' because to me, 'music' implies melody, and either someone singing, and/or someone playing some instrument that is not electronic drums.

Hey - I happen to know what RAP stands for. Do you?

Now, everyone to his/her own taste.

Or lack thereof.

But can't you keep your taste, or lack thereof, to yourself?

If you're going to play anything on your car radio - rap, crap, Mozart, take your pick - at that volume, couldn't you have the decency to keep your windows rolled UP?

Why do you feel the need to share?

I wondered if maybe I should roll MY windows down, crank MY satellite radio up to 12, and blast some Eagles into HIS eardrums?'

Chances are he wouldn't have been able to hear it - obviously his hearing was damaged beyond all hope.

Also, chances are he wouldn't appreciate decent music if he could hear it.

This isn't just about me liking old music.

It's about common courtesy - something that is increasingly uncommon on our streets.

I've Got Your Back

Ever since I got my PVR, I hardly ever see TV commercials any more. 

But I did find myself watching 'live TV' the other day, and saw an ad for the new Honda Civic.

Maybe you've seen it? The one showing the dude backing into his parking spot with the aid of the back-up camera in the Civic?

"Nailed it!" he beams.

His lady friend says something like, 'So, are we going to hitchhike to the store?"

Because the dude is surrounded by an entire lot of empty spaces.

Credit to him for backing in to his spot.

But why did he deliberately choose a spot with a light pole behind it?

OK, OK, the purpose of the ad was to show off the back-up camera.

But it shows bad driving technique - the dude should have just driven frontwards into one of the hundreds of empty 'pull-through' spots.

Yeah, so parking properly is something of an obsession with me. But when there is a clear right way and an obvious wrong way to do something, why would they show the obvious wrong way?

Maybe the ad agency 'creative' types don't know any better.

But car company people should.

How Do You Know When Your Time is Up?

In case Wheels is the only section of our fine paper/web site you read, you should know that our Jack Lakey, a.k.a. 'The Fixer', has been following an interesting aspect of Toronto's parking world. Read about it here.

Maybe you all knew this, but I didn't - that according to Toronto's own web site, there's a five-minute grace period for certain 'time-limited' parking offences, such as meters or pay-and-display parking zones.

The Toronto Police Service Parking Enforcement Unit won't issue a ticket if you're less than five minutes over the time limit.

Plus, there's a separate administrative policy that if the ticket is issued within ten minutes of the limit, you can apply to have the ticket cancelled.

You can read the policy here. It might help if you've had some law training.

Note that there are exceptions to the grace period policy. You can't overstay your welcome on major arterial roads in rush hours, or violate the snow-clearing policy.

And, it doesn't mean you can park for free for the first five minutes either...

Taking Licence?

Again, I saw something on the eastbound 401 the other day that I have never seen before.

It was on a black Chevrolet HHR - Chevy's answer to the PT Cruiser.

I noticed as I was catching up to it that something was flapping around near the rear licence plate.

As I got closer I realized that what was flapping was the entire outer surface of the plate. It appeared to be a thin transparent plastic film, and the blue characters seemed to be attached to it, rather than to the plate itself.

Last time I looked - just this minute - licence plates still appear to be stamped from steel, with the letters and numbers embossed and painted right on them.

So, what was this?

Because I was driving, I couldn't get a picture of it (that's a stock photo up there). And even if I could have, we aren't supposed to identify local licence plates without asking permission of the vehicle owners.

You'll have to take my word for it.

It's not like this was one of the older three digit/three letter plates, many of which I have seen recently with virtually all of the blue paint for the characters eroded off them.

Sure, that means a free ride on the 407. But how do these guys not get stopped by the police? The plates have obviously been in use for a long, long time.

It also seems to be only the identifying letters and numbers that fade, not the 'Yours to Discover' part.

But I digress..

No, the HHR's plate was a relatively new four letters/three digits one, and the first letter was a 'B', which is the most recent series.

But there were those characters, flapping in the breeze.

I wondered if maybe this was some sort of scam, that the guy had fabricated a phony plate to cover up his real one.

If so, he hadn't done a very good job of it.

Or maybe the reflective white coating that covers the plates is actually a thin film to which the charcaters are attached, and which in this case had de-laminated?

I dunno.

Still, like those folks with faded characters on their plates, how does this guy drive around without getting stopped by the cops?

BMW M3 - Take It to the Limit

Yeah yeah, another '70s music reference...

***

So, now I think I have seen it all.

A BMW M3, complete with carbon fibre roof - like the one shown here - driving at the speed limit.

In the right lane.

It was on the 401 eastbound a few days ago.

Now, maybe I shouldn't stereotype M3 drivers.

But seriously - when have you ever seen an M3 driven at the speed limit?

Other than twice a day - once on the way up, again on the way down...

The Leaf(s) Have Turned

Don't know if I used this photograph before - not sure how I could have justified it in a car blog, maybe because it was sort of like a street sign.

But as someone who got his season tickets to Maple Leaf Gardens the year after the Leafs last won the Stanley Cup and sat through the Forbes Kennedy years, I think I'm entitled to a little slack...

Obviously, this sign is three years old. It was on a stretch of Bloor Street just east of Avenue Road which was undergoing some landscaping.

But as of tonight, this message will no longer be true. Well, maybe it depends on how many leaves there are on those trees on Bloor Street...

All right, so maybe they'll get swept four straight - they at least made the playoffs, which is more than the Big Buxx Jays are gonna do...

OK, back to cars...

Good Luck or Good Management? A Near-Hit in any event...

Near-Hit?

Which of course is to say, I did miss...

The driver of the blue BMW X1 - didn't catch the gender - seemed to think that just because the left and centre southbound lanes of Yonge Street just north of Finch yesterday afternoon were clogged, that the right-hand lane wouldn't have anyone in it.

Not sure how one would come to that conclusion; presumably (s)he also didn't realize that this is the Jim-only lane.

In any event, (s)he decided just to roar on through with a left turn, directly in front of me.

I wasn't going that fast - you always have to assume other drivers are idiots.

This one didn't disappoint.

I didn't even have time to lay on the horn. Just nailed the brakes as hard as I could, and tried to steer to the right to avoid the collision.

The Anti-Lock Brakes (ABS) on the brand-new new Hyundai Santa Fe XL I had just picked up went into action, pulsing as quickly as possible to maintain optimum stopping distance, and to allow a degree of steering - ABS is as much, possibly more, a steering system as a braking system.

The BMW driver eventually saw me, and did stop. But the Hyundai was still heading right for its nose, tires chirping as the brakes pulsed.

Just before we hit, I let off on the brakes. This allowed the front wheels to bite a bit more than the ABS was allowing, and the Hyundai just managed to dodge around the Bimmer.

If either car had had one more coat of paint, the near-hit (i.e., a miss) would have become a near-miss (i.e., a hit).

This 'lock/steer/release' technique is something we used to teach in the old Labatt's Road Scholarship program, which predated universal adoption of ABS. We know that locked brakes are usually the quickest way to stop, given few people can apply the theoretically-perfect 'threshold' braking accurately enough in an emergency.

But we also know that if the tires are locked, they can't steer.

So if a crash looks imminent, 'lock/steer/release' says to lock 'em up to slow the car down as much as possible, apply some steering lock anyway even if it doesn't help while the tires are sliding, then when the collision seems unavoidable, release the brakes.

With luck, the tires will regain cornering traction, and you'll avoid the crash.

Just like it did for me this time.

It takes some practice, which you should do on a snowy parking lot when winter returns (assuming it ever leaves...).

Even with ABS, as in this case, this technique has saved me a couple of times. It's a worthwile trick to have in your kit bag in case of emergency.

I bet the driver of that blue BMW has no idea how close it was...

Tell It to the Judge

Here's one way to try and get out of a parking ticket:

Run down the No Parking sign, then try to say you didn't see it.

Good luck with that one...

Rest in Peace, Peter Wright

Predictably, there was a huge turn-out for the Celebration of Life Friday at Mount Albert Lions Club Hall for Peter Wright.

"Much love, much laughter," is how his wife Lorie put it, as person after person got up to recount stories of their association with this man.

'That's how Peter would have wanted it."

Most of them - of us - were motorsport connections, since cars were his passion.

But some of his friends knew little about his love affair with cars and competition. They knew him from sailing, from fishing, or from riding dirt bikes.

No matter; the stories all ended the same, about his smile, his laugh, his positivity.

A video loop showed Peter running his beloved Datsun 240Z in a slalom at Picton Kartway. He executed every corner flawlessly, taking the car to within millimetres of the apex every lap, with nary a bobble at the wheel.

"Smoothness," said Mike Acerra, one of his erstwhile competitors. "That's what he was all about."

That's also what made him such a great driving instructor. "Smooth comes first, then fast" was his teaching mantra.

The shot to the left shows the Datsun with his orange 'Contact Patch' van in the background; 'Contact Patch' was the name of his tire service company which supported motorsport events around the province.

As the Celebration drew to a close, three things came to mind, and/or were mentioned by the speakers, things we should all remember at times like these. 

First, somebody should remember to tape these Celebrations. Repeat viewings can provide great comfort to those left behind.

Second, don't let friends and family grieve alone. Stay in touch, call them, invite them for dinner. Don't let the Celebration end today.

Third, as noted above, there was lots of love expressed for lots of people in that room today. If there is someone you love or admire, for whatever reason, don't wait until it's too late to tell them to their face.

Tell them today.

 

Hope You Were a "Snowcrastinator"...

Woke up at Kenzie World Headquarters this morning to another 20 mm of global warming on my deck.

Or what was left of my deck after the ice storm last Friday caused a dead tree to fall on it and crush it.

Aren't we all glad we are "snowcrastinators" who never got around to taking our winter tires off?

My Mother-in-Law says you can never trust the weather until the 24th of May.

She sure looks right this year...

 

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Arewn;'y we all glad what