Jim Kenzie's The Driver's Seat

Are We Finally Learning How to Park?

Is there hope for Toronto parkers?

That's me in the middle in the burgundy Lincoln MKZ, having almost got the Ryan Gosling parking spot - the one right in front of wherever it is you want to be, which Ryan Gosling (pick your own movie star...) always gets in the movies.

I say 'almost' because it was only one spot removed from being as close to the FourBucks I was heading for as I could have got - without taking a Handicapped spot, of course.

I was sitting there, waiting for 'Southern Cross' (my favourite Crosby Stills and Nash tune) to finish playing on the stereo.

The spots on either side of me came free almost at the same instant.

Seconds later, the Ford pick-up backed in beside me on my right - not easy with a big vehicle like that; the guy didn't even ding my door as he squeezed himself out of his truck.

Then a silver Saturn coupe pulled in frontwards on my left, but drove through to the next row of spots - the always-best, devoutly-to-be-wished-for 'pull-through' spot. You can just barely see the roof of her car directly above the Lincoln in this pic.

Finally, the guy driving the Subaru backed into the spot on my left.

So, a pull-through and three backed-in cars, all within the too-short span of 'Southern Cross'!

Is there hope people are finally learning how to park in this town?

(It would be presumptuous of me - perish the thought - to think they might have been following my good example...)

And, 90 percent of the other cars in this lot were still parked wrong - driven in frontwards.

But I am not above grasping at straws...

Peter Wright Takes his Final Chequered Flag

Peter Wright, one of the truly nice guys in the world of Canadian motorsport, passed away last Sunday from cancer. He was 66 years old. He is survived by his wife Lorie.

Peter was first exposed to motorsport when he navigated in rallies with his father in a Mini when Peter wasn't even old enough to drive.

He parlayed that interest and considerable talent into the Canadian National Road Racing GT1 Class Championship in his Datsun 240Z coupe in 1979.

He continued to compete at many levels, winning dozens of Solo/AutoSlalom competitions and Ice Racing championships.

He also founded Contact Patch, a mobile tire service company which supported events ranging from media and corporate tire testing for companies like Bridgestone and Yokohama, to private clients who wanted to try out their high-performance cars at race tracks and who wanted no worries about their tires standing up to the challenge.

His friend of 40 years standing, Jud Buchanan, invited him to try his hand at navigating again in the Ontario Winter Rally, with the promise that if he didn't enjoy it, Peter would pay for half the cost and it would never be mentioned again.

That led to him navigating for Buchanan in four Targa Newfoundland rallies in Buchanan's Acadian Canso coupe, which resulted in the team earning the coveted 'Gold Plate' for completing three consecutive Targas while meeting or exceeding the 'bogey' times for every stage in the week-long event.

When Porsche Canada initiated its Advanced Driving Program in 1986 - for some years, every purchaser of a new Porsche received a driver training program to make sure (s)he knew how to best handle their new car - Peter was signed on as one of the instructors. It was there that he discovered his true calling.

"He just loved to help people learn how to drive!'' said Buchanan. "He'd be the most cheerful guy every morning, and couldn't wait to get out on the track to impart his knowledge to others."

Peter was also the track manager for the Automobile Journalists Association of Canada Test Fest for 21 years, first at Shannonville Motorsport Park near Belleville, subsequently at the Niagara Regional Airport. Wind, rain, shine, even snow, he would be out there making sure every car was allowed onto the high-speed test track in a safe manner.

His ever-present grin and equally-ever-present pipe will not be forgotten.

Billy Joel sang, "Only the Good Die Young.''

He sure got that right.

***

A Celebration of Peter's life will be held at:

Mount Albert Lions Club (Main Hall)

5057 Mount Albert Road

Mount Albert Ontario

L0G 1M0

Friday, April 26, 2013, 1:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.

Friends are invited to share their personal remembrances and tributes starting at 2:00 p.m.

 

OPP on the Lookout for Distracted Drivers

The Ontario Provincial Police are mounting one of their periodic blitzes on distracted drivers this week.

Already, I've seen more than the usual number of black-and-whites with 'customers' pulled off to the shoulder; whether they're just the Usual Suspect speeders or they've been caught applying make-up, shaving, texting, sorting vacation photographs AND eating their breakfast, I couldn't say.

Interesting tidbit came out of Manitoba recently though. It indicated that crashes due to DWT - Driving While Texting - actually INCREASED after the texting ban was imposed in that province, because drivers were 'lap-texting' rather than 'front-of-face' texting, trying to avoid detection.

This of course means that not only were their brains otherwise engaged, but their line of sight was compromised too.

Obviously, trying to work even a so-called 'smart' phone while driving is a dumb idea.

And as we all know by now, hand-held or hands-free makes no difference.

But I wonder if anyone's got any stats on how many crashes are due to drivers being distracted trying to figure out how to use the exact same touch-screen technology that comes in altogether too many new cars' dashboards?

It makes no more sense there...

 

Jaguar F-Type Driven!

Yes, I have driven the new Jaguar F-Type sports car, the first real two-seater Jag sports car since the E-Type, launched in 1961.

Fifty-two years is a long time. Has Jaguar managed to catch up?

I am not allowed to tell you what it's like to drive until next Wednesday.

But from the already-released details - supercharged V6 engines of 340 or 380 horsepower, supercharged V8 with 495 horsepower, and weight starting at 1,597 kg - I'm sure you can guess.

Prices start at $76,900.

The cars start arriving this summer. Start saving now.

Listen to, but do not necessarily be in a, RUSH

Gary Lee Weinrib and Aleksandar Živojinović (better known as Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson of Rush) are both big car fans.

No no, big fans of cars, not necessarily fans of big cars...

Not sure about Neil Peart - I think he's more into motorcycles.

I actually met Alex once, and he reads Wheels faithfully - or at least did at the time.

And Geddy has owned a variety of interesting cars over the years - at one point, a rare Renault Alpine Gordini.

Which has always made me wonder - how come in the Rush song 'Red Barchetta', Geddy pronounces 'barchetta' incorrectly?

'Barchetta' means 'little boat' in Italian; the word has often been used to describe smallish two-seat open Italian sports cars like the one he's singing about here.

Again in Italian, 'ch' is pronounced as a 'hard C', as in 'chianti' - 'kee-AUNT-ee'.

So, 'barchetta' is 'bar-KETT-a', not 'bar-CHET-a'.

I would have guessed a car fan like Geddy would have known this. If not him, then Alex, Neil (who is such a stickler for detail), the producer, a roadie - SOMEBODY - would have caught this.

Cool song though. Probably not ex-OPP boss Julian Fantino's favourite song though, because it is essentially about street racing...

BTW, I assume the 'alloy air car' in that song is a silver Porsche.

And that of course is pronounced 'POR-sha'.

BTW (2), Geddy did a great job throwing out the first pitch at the Jays' opening game last week (in addition to cars and wine, Geddy is a huge fan of baseball). Given how R. A. Dickey did later that evening (and again Sunday afternoon) maybe Geddy should have stayed on the mound...

Mimi and Lady Leadfoot go Topless

Does this mean winter is finally over?

We actually drove Mimi - Lady Leadfoot's Mazda Miata - top-down for the first time this year today.

Heater on, and one window down - for some reason, that seems to generate less turbulence than both windows either up or down - and aside from the hair getting quite a work-out, it was very pleasant.

We don't drive her in winter unless there's an emergency. We keep her outside, under a cover, with a trickle charger on the battery. She never fails to fire right up.

If there were some sort of award for the car that best discharges its responsibilities, best fulfils its brief, does exactly what it is supposed to do - do you understand what I'm driving at here? - then the Mazda Miata would surely win in a walk.

More accurately, it would win in a lovely drive through the countryside.

In a nutshell, it was supposed to be a two-seat British sports car that didn't break and didn't leak oil all over your driveway.

That was pretty much what Mark Jordan, a designer for Mazda North America, and Bob Hall, previously and subsequently a car journalist but then a product planner for Mazda, had in mind when they conceived the car on a cocktail napkin in a bar in Irvine California back in the 1980s; in profile, the original Miata looked more like the 1964 Lotus Elan than the Lotus Elan did.

Despite considerable upgrading and improving over the intervening decades, that's pretty much what the Miata still is today.

I.e., damn-near perfect.

Oh yeah, the company can try to call it 'MX-5' if they want, because the marketing people say that's how it is marketed in other countries.

Marketing people can be such idiots; like anybody over here gives a damn what they do over there.

It was originally sold in Japan as the 'Eunos Roadster'. Does that mean we should have called it 'Eunos Roadster' too?

Um, I don't think so.

The Miata Owners Club is still (I think...) the largest one-marque car club in the world, testimony to the affection people have for this car. Lady Leadfoot and I aren't 'joiners' per se, but might be talked into going on some of their cruises this summer.

We understand that the next-gen Miata will be a joint venture with Fiat through its Alfa Romeo brand. That company has no shortage of sports car heritage, although dead-nuts reliability like Miata enjoys has never even been hinted at chez Alfa.

Can the joint venture pull off a car that's as spectacular as Mazda was able to do on its own with Miata?

I hope so.

But I must say, I have grave doubts.

Is Public Transit Really "The Better Way"?

Took in the Jays' opening game the other night - thank you, Honda Canada.

We were heading in to The Big Smoke early (by my standards) because Alicia Keys was playing next door at the Air Canada Centre, so traffic and parking were going to be even more zoo-ish than usual. My only exposure to her music had been the Hurricane Sandy TV special, so the expected full house for her was and remains a mystery to me, but never mind...

Traffic on the 401 eastbound from Kenzie World Headquarters in Rural Ontario was already at a standstill by Mister-and-Mississauga Road, so Lady Leadfoot and I decided - "Hey! Let's get on the GO!"

So we turned down Erin Mills Parkway and stumbled into the Clarkson GO Station.

$26 and change for two return tickets - probably a bit more than parking would have been, but we figured probably faster and less hassle.

We just missed one train - a slight navigational error by the vice-president - but the next one would get us to Union Station around 6:30. Plenty of time for the scheduled 7:07 first pitch, although there would be the usual Opening Day hoopla beforehand.

Lots of seats in the upper deck on the train.

Sadly, they had also been found by a gaggle of what appeared to be teenaged young men who had not waited to get to the game to enjoy a few Buds with their buds, but had brought what looked to be a bottle of vodka on the train.

Vodka and Coke?

Yikes.

Judging from the noise level and the language, it wasn't the first they had consumed that afternoon either.

The GO Security Police were only heading to discuss the situation with these chaps as we pulled into Union Station. A bit late, guys. 

That's certainly one problem with public transit - you can't choose your fellow passengers.

I'm pretty sure there used to be a covered walkway from Union Station to the SkyDome/Rogers Centre and the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. I couldn't find it during the Auto Show last February, and it doesn't appear to be there now. Not sure if the massive and seemingly permanent construction project at Bay and Front has something to do with that or not.

We mostly followed the crowd, wandering in and out of doors. I say 'mostly' because we made the mistake of also following the signs that read, "Pedestrian Detour to Rogers Centre." Er, no - we had to go back whence we had come. Why are those signs even there?

Note to self - stick with local knowledge...

It took about 20 minutes to finally get to Gate Three.

The game of course was a disappointment. R. A. Dickey couldn't get his knuckleball down in the strike zone, J. P. Arencibia couldn't catch it no matter where it was thrown, and when your vaunted offence consists of hitting into a double play with the bases loaded - well, I'm glad I have Game Six of the 1993 World Series on my PVR...

And who says Toronto doesn't have championship-winning teams? How soon we forget the Argos (two Grey Cups in the past ten years) and The Rock (three titles and multiple playoff and finalist appearances). Hmm-mm - professonal sports teams not owned by Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment or Rogers...

At least the foot-long hot dog was good.

On the way home, we took the easy route back to Union Station - just walked along Front Street. Saved about five minutes compared to the earlier route. Live and learn.

Jammed our way onto the platform and caught the "22:27" - a train that wasn't even listed on the GO timetable we had picked up at Clarkson on the way in. Maybe they added extra trains for the Jays game?

Dunno.

No seats of course, so we stood until two stops from our destination.

But at least no drunks on the train this time.

Then another five minute walk to the car.

We're not sure - no 'control group' - but we figure it took at least half an hour longer to get home that driving would have taken.

Public transit?

More expensive, less comfortable, less convenient, noisier, and it takes longer?

Um, thanks - but I think I'll stick with my car...

Do Pick-up Truck Drivers Really Want More Fuel Efficiency?

Every major manufacturer of full-size pick-up trucks is going on and on about improved fuel efficiency.

Ford has their 'Eco-Boost' Direct Injection turbocharged V6 engine, claimed to offer the performance of an eight with the economy of a six.

Chevrolet advertises the most fuel-efficient V-8 in the class.

Ram (yclept 'Dodge') boasts 36 miles per gallon on the highway. (Er folks, Canada switched to Metric about four hundred years ago - isn't it time you caught up?...)

But is this something their customers give a flyin' wahoo about?

I guess if you're a business owner and your trucks are racking up thousands of klicks a month, fuel costs are a Big Deal.

So how come when I'm on the highway, all the pick-ups I see seem to be going a buck-forty?

And in town, the "That Thang Got a HEMI?" dude is rocketing away from the stoplight, seemingly trying to spin all four wheels at once?

I think the only reason truck makers are doing this is that in the States, Corporate Average Fuel Economy standards for trucks are getting tougher and tougher to meet. So the manufacturers have to build more fuel-efficient trucks whether their customers care or not.

The trick then is to get the customers to buy them.

In reality, it's the same reason they build hybrid cars; if they can force-feed enough of those down buyers' throats, then they can sell some of the less-efficient cars that the customers actually want.

Of course none of this would be necessary if the US government would only act logically and raise the price of fuel to something even approximating the world level. Then the market could decide how it wanted to spend its money, on efficient cars, or on fuel.

But asking any government - especially these days, the US government - to act logically?

Hahahahaha.....

 

Safer Roads? It's Easy...

One of the defining moments of my traffic safety education was a story in Road & Track magazine a million years ago which reported on research indicating that traffic drives at the speed of the road was designed to handle, not according to a random number painted on a sign by the side of the road.

No, it doesn't go as fast as it possibly can - drivers seem to have a built-in sense of survival.

But if the road is designed to accommodate, say, 100 km/h, that's about the speed at which most drivers will choose to drive.

I don't know if that research has been replicated since.

But a perfect example of the concept is currently on display on the 401 eastbound near the Hurontario Street construction. It remains three lanes wide as you enter the signed construction area, although there is no evidence that any construction is being done, other than that the 'Jersey Barrier' - the trapezoidal cross-section concrete wall - is moved closer to the edge of the left lane, thereby removing the shoulder.

The speed limit changes at that point from 100 km/h to 80 km/h.

But does anybody even lift from the 120 - 130 most everyone is doing there?

No.

I think it supports that old research - the road doesn't change, it still looks like it was designed to be driven at 130, and that's what most people will drive.

Unless there's a police car there, but with no shoulder to park on, that's unlikely.

A neighbour of mine - the person who got me into this business in the first place, as a matter of fact - became a municipal politician. At the time, the municipality had recently rebuilt a stretch of a major road to 'modern' standards - wider, smoother, with bigger shoulders - but they found cars were going faster than traffic planners wanted.

No kidding!

To paraphrase the Kevin Costner movie catch phrase, "Build it faster and they will come faster."

She asked me if there was anything they could do to slow people down.

"Sure!'' I said.

"Dig a one foot wide, one foot deep ditch across the road every 100 yards or so."

"We can't do that!" she exclaimed.

"I know," I replied.

"But you asked me how to slow people down, and that's the only way to do it. Even speed bumps just provide a challenge to good suspension."

So if you want people to drive slow, don't build fast roads.

If however you do want people to get where they are going quickly, efficiently and safely - and isn't that what our road network is supposed to do? - then build good roads, apply relevant speed limits, and use our scarce police resources to ensure people drive properly on them.

Yes, it really is that easy.

So, why don't we do it?

Maybe you should ask our new Minister of Transportation, the Honourable Glen Murray.

I already have, and am awaiting his response...

 

Are Canadians Becoming More Polite Drivers - follow-up

My rant about buttinskis on the highway yesterday reminded me of the need for us to find ways to indicate to other drivers what jerks they are being.

I have searched - so far without success - for a portable pixelboard sign you could set up in your rear window, whereby you could flash messages to other drivers.

If for no other reason than to say, "HEY BUDDY! Your Daytime Running Lights don't turn on your taillights!"

I know such technology exists, because the unmarked German police car that pulled over my fellow-journalist / driving partner (who shall remain anonymous here, but you know who you are...) in the Bentley Speed GT a couple months back had one.

Very high-tech - it was hidden in the hat shelf, and rotated into view only when the officer pushed a button.

All it said was "POLIZEI", with flashing arrows pointing to the right, directing us into a rest area where they had set up a speed limt enforcement/entrapment fishing hole.

Yeah, German cops do that too - they are cops, after all.

(In case you didn't know, not all of the Autobahn is speed-limit-free.)

They had a van set up, three cop/clerks, no waiting, with currency conversion charts for foreigners - very efficient, as you'd expect from the Germans.

Also, expensive - something like 240 Euros for 32 km over the 100 km/h limit.

But surprise surprise - I digress...

I have also thought of other ways of expressing displeasure with other drivers.

For example, I've conceptually invented (no prototypes - yet) a paint-ball launching system, which would lob a paint ball pellet onto the hood of the offending car.

Except instead of paint, it would contain a paste mixture full of sulphuric acid.

Wouldn't that be delicious?

Now, it wouldn't be truly effective as a disciplinary device, because the perp wouldn't associate the punishment with the crime.

He'd just wonder - why is there this patch of peeled-off paint on the hood of my car?

Maybe if he got enough of them he'd start to figure it out.

That reminded me of a classmate back in my University days who mounted a Cibie Oscar driving light on the trunk lid of his car, pointing backward.

Someone forget to dim their high beams while driving behind him?

About 400 million candlepower right between the eyes should be warning enough...

You do know I'm kidding, right?

Sort-of?...