Jim Kenzie's The Driver's Seat

Rally 'Round the County!

They say the three things you should never do with anyone you're planning on sleeping with are:

- play competitive bridge;

- go sailboat racing;

- take part in a car rally. 

All three involve decision-making on the part of two (or more) people, and all can lead to - well, disagreements, which could have, um, repercussions.

But if you'd like to try the third activity, car rallying, have we got a deal for you - a low-stress, high-fun event which, win or lose, will definitely have a positive effect on your social life. 

Not that you necessarily have to sleep with your co-driver...

It's the Fifth Annual "Rally 'Round the County", taking place this coming Sunday, May 26, in Milton Ontario.

It won't involve you hair-assing along forestry roads at warp speed, nor does it require a race-prepared car or any special equipment. If you and your vehicle each have a licence and you can scramble up a calculator, you're in.

The event falls in the category of 'TSD Rally' - Time, Speed and Distance.

The route instructions will tell you where to go (the navigator gets to do the same to the driver...).

Said instructions will also tell you - in a variety of ways - exactly what speed you should be going along each section of the route. Checkpoints may appear at any time, so it's best to stay as close to the calculated speed as you can at all times.

Don't worry if you've never done this before. The route is being set by the Kitchener-Waterloo Rally Club, and they will have experts on hand to help you through it.

And while there is some math involved, if you can balance your chequebook, you'll be good.

The entry fee is $60 per car. You need a minimum of two people per car, but feel free to bring the kids or any other moral support you can legally fit in the car.

A barbecue lunch is included after the event. Proceedings begin at 9 a.m., with the first car away at 10. The route should take about two hours to complete.

There will be prizes for the top scorers, as well as for best costumes. Yes, you are encouraged to dress up and have some fun with this!

There will also be a silent auction, with many interesting and valuable items on offer.

All proceeds go to the local Halton Chapter of Girls Inc., a charitable organization dedicated to running programs to help girls to be 'strong, smart and bold', to help them navigate economic, gender and social barriers, to achieve academically, to lead healthy and physically-active lives, to navigate media messages, and to discover an interest in science, technology, engineering and mathematics.

Starting place is Country Heritage Park, 8560 Tremaine Road, Milton.

Find directions here.

To pre-register - please! - call Mike Primok at 905-876-6504, or by e-mail, mprimok@cogeco.ca

I also know you've all been dying to see my 1977 AMC Hornet hatchback up close and personal (shown above with members of the Rally Organizing Committee).

Here's your chance.

Hope to see a lot of you there!

Spring is Sprung, the Grass is Riz...

...I wonder where the window switches is?

***

Yes, it looks like maybe we can finally take our winter tires off.

How do I know?

Because I was driving in mid-town the other day, I was stopped at a light beside a guy in a white Cadillac CTS, and he had his windows all rolled down - yes, it was finally warm enough outside to do that.

But he also had his stereo turned up to the proverbial 11, with some massively crap filth coming out of it.

I couldn't call it 'music' because to me, 'music' implies melody, and either someone singing, and/or someone playing some instrument that is not electronic drums.

Hey - I happen to know what RAP stands for. Do you?

Now, everyone to his/her own taste.

Or lack thereof.

But can't you keep your taste, or lack thereof, to yourself?

If you're going to play anything on your car radio - rap, crap, Mozart, take your pick - at that volume, couldn't you have the decency to keep your windows rolled UP?

Why do you feel the need to share?

I wondered if maybe I should roll MY windows down, crank MY satellite radio up to 12, and blast some Eagles into HIS eardrums?'

Chances are he wouldn't have been able to hear it - obviously his hearing was damaged beyond all hope.

Also, chances are he wouldn't appreciate decent music if he could hear it.

This isn't just about me liking old music.

It's about common courtesy - something that is increasingly uncommon on our streets.

I've Got Your Back

Ever since I got my PVR, I hardly ever see TV commercials any more. 

But I did find myself watching 'live TV' the other day, and saw an ad for the new Honda Civic.

Maybe you've seen it? The one showing the dude backing into his parking spot with the aid of the back-up camera in the Civic?

"Nailed it!" he beams.

His lady friend says something like, 'So, are we going to hitchhike to the store?"

Because the dude is surrounded by an entire lot of empty spaces.

Credit to him for backing in to his spot.

But why did he deliberately choose a spot with a light pole behind it?

OK, OK, the purpose of the ad was to show off the back-up camera.

But it shows bad driving technique - the dude should have just driven frontwards into one of the hundreds of empty 'pull-through' spots.

Yeah, so parking properly is something of an obsession with me. But when there is a clear right way and an obvious wrong way to do something, why would they show the obvious wrong way?

Maybe the ad agency 'creative' types don't know any better.

But car company people should.

How Do You Know When Your Time is Up?

In case Wheels is the only section of our fine paper/web site you read, you should know that our Jack Lakey, a.k.a. 'The Fixer', has been following an interesting aspect of Toronto's parking world. Read about it here.

Maybe you all knew this, but I didn't - that according to Toronto's own web site, there's a five-minute grace period for certain 'time-limited' parking offences, such as meters or pay-and-display parking zones.

The Toronto Police Service Parking Enforcement Unit won't issue a ticket if you're less than five minutes over the time limit.

Plus, there's a separate administrative policy that if the ticket is issued within ten minutes of the limit, you can apply to have the ticket cancelled.

You can read the policy here. It might help if you've had some law training.

Note that there are exceptions to the grace period policy. You can't overstay your welcome on major arterial roads in rush hours, or violate the snow-clearing policy.

And, it doesn't mean you can park for free for the first five minutes either...

BMW M3 - Take It to the Limit

Yeah yeah, another '70s music reference...

***

So, now I think I have seen it all.

A BMW M3, complete with carbon fibre roof - like the one shown here - driving at the speed limit.

In the right lane.

It was on the 401 eastbound a few days ago.

Now, maybe I shouldn't stereotype M3 drivers.

But seriously - when have you ever seen an M3 driven at the speed limit?

Other than twice a day - once on the way up, again on the way down...

The Leaf(s) Have Turned

Don't know if I used this photograph before - not sure how I could have justified it in a car blog, maybe because it was sort of like a street sign.

But as someone who got his season tickets to Maple Leaf Gardens the year after the Leafs last won the Stanley Cup and sat through the Forbes Kennedy years, I think I'm entitled to a little slack...

Obviously, this sign is three years old. It was on a stretch of Bloor Street just east of Avenue Road which was undergoing some landscaping.

But as of tonight, this message will no longer be true. Well, maybe it depends on how many leaves there are on those trees on Bloor Street...

All right, so maybe they'll get swept four straight - they at least made the playoffs, which is more than the Big Buxx Jays are gonna do...

OK, back to cars...

Rest in Peace, Peter Wright

Predictably, there was a huge turn-out for the Celebration of Life Friday at Mount Albert Lions Club Hall for Peter Wright.

"Much love, much laughter," is how his wife Lorie put it, as person after person got up to recount stories of their association with this man.

'That's how Peter would have wanted it."

Most of them - of us - were motorsport connections, since cars were his passion.

But some of his friends knew little about his love affair with cars and competition. They knew him from sailing, from fishing, or from riding dirt bikes.

No matter; the stories all ended the same, about his smile, his laugh, his positivity.

A video loop showed Peter running his beloved Datsun 240Z in a slalom at Picton Kartway. He executed every corner flawlessly, taking the car to within millimetres of the apex every lap, with nary a bobble at the wheel.

"Smoothness," said Mike Acerra, one of his erstwhile competitors. "That's what he was all about."

That's also what made him such a great driving instructor. "Smooth comes first, then fast" was his teaching mantra.

The shot to the left shows the Datsun with his orange 'Contact Patch' van in the background; 'Contact Patch' was the name of his tire service company which supported motorsport events around the province.

As the Celebration drew to a close, three things came to mind, and/or were mentioned by the speakers, things we should all remember at times like these. 

First, somebody should remember to tape these Celebrations. Repeat viewings can provide great comfort to those left behind.

Second, don't let friends and family grieve alone. Stay in touch, call them, invite them for dinner. Don't let the Celebration end today.

Third, as noted above, there was lots of love expressed for lots of people in that room today. If there is someone you love or admire, for whatever reason, don't wait until it's too late to tell them to their face.

Tell them today.

 

Hope You Were a "Snowcrastinator"...

Woke up at Kenzie World Headquarters this morning to another 20 mm of global warming on my deck.

Or what was left of my deck after the ice storm last Friday caused a dead tree to fall on it and crush it.

Aren't we all glad we are "snowcrastinators" who never got around to taking our winter tires off?

My Mother-in-Law says you can never trust the weather until the 24th of May.

She sure looks right this year...

 

.

Arewn;'y we all glad what

Are We Finally Learning How to Park?

Is there hope for Toronto parkers?

That's me in the middle in the burgundy Lincoln MKZ, having almost got the Ryan Gosling parking spot - the one right in front of wherever it is you want to be, which Ryan Gosling (pick your own movie star...) always gets in the movies.

I say 'almost' because it was only one spot removed from being as close to the FourBucks I was heading for as I could have got - without taking a Handicapped spot, of course.

I was sitting there, waiting for 'Southern Cross' (my favourite Crosby Stills and Nash tune) to finish playing on the stereo.

The spots on either side of me came free almost at the same instant.

Seconds later, the Ford pick-up backed in beside me on my right - not easy with a big vehicle like that; the guy didn't even ding my door as he squeezed himself out of his truck.

Then a silver Saturn coupe pulled in frontwards on my left, but drove through to the next row of spots - the always-best, devoutly-to-be-wished-for 'pull-through' spot. You can just barely see the roof of her car directly above the Lincoln in this pic.

Finally, the guy driving the Subaru backed into the spot on my left.

So, a pull-through and three backed-in cars, all within the too-short span of 'Southern Cross'!

Is there hope people are finally learning how to park in this town?

(It would be presumptuous of me - perish the thought - to think they might have been following my good example...)

And, 90 percent of the other cars in this lot were still parked wrong - driven in frontwards.

But I am not above grasping at straws...

Peter Wright Takes his Final Chequered Flag

Peter Wright, one of the truly nice guys in the world of Canadian motorsport, passed away last Sunday from cancer. He was 66 years old. He is survived by his wife Lorie.

Peter was first exposed to motorsport when he navigated in rallies with his father in a Mini when Peter wasn't even old enough to drive.

He parlayed that interest and considerable talent into the Canadian National Road Racing GT1 Class Championship in his Datsun 240Z coupe in 1979.

He continued to compete at many levels, winning dozens of Solo/AutoSlalom competitions and Ice Racing championships.

He also founded Contact Patch, a mobile tire service company which supported events ranging from media and corporate tire testing for companies like Bridgestone and Yokohama, to private clients who wanted to try out their high-performance cars at race tracks and who wanted no worries about their tires standing up to the challenge.

His friend of 40 years standing, Jud Buchanan, invited him to try his hand at navigating again in the Ontario Winter Rally, with the promise that if he didn't enjoy it, Peter would pay for half the cost and it would never be mentioned again.

That led to him navigating for Buchanan in four Targa Newfoundland rallies in Buchanan's Acadian Canso coupe, which resulted in the team earning the coveted 'Gold Plate' for completing three consecutive Targas while meeting or exceeding the 'bogey' times for every stage in the week-long event.

When Porsche Canada initiated its Advanced Driving Program in 1986 - for some years, every purchaser of a new Porsche received a driver training program to make sure (s)he knew how to best handle their new car - Peter was signed on as one of the instructors. It was there that he discovered his true calling.

"He just loved to help people learn how to drive!'' said Buchanan. "He'd be the most cheerful guy every morning, and couldn't wait to get out on the track to impart his knowledge to others."

Peter was also the track manager for the Automobile Journalists Association of Canada Test Fest for 21 years, first at Shannonville Motorsport Park near Belleville, subsequently at the Niagara Regional Airport. Wind, rain, shine, even snow, he would be out there making sure every car was allowed onto the high-speed test track in a safe manner.

His ever-present grin and equally-ever-present pipe will not be forgotten.

Billy Joel sang, "Only the Good Die Young.''

He sure got that right.

***

A Celebration of Peter's life will be held at:

Mount Albert Lions Club (Main Hall)

5057 Mount Albert Road

Mount Albert Ontario

L0G 1M0

Friday, April 26, 2013, 1:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.

Friends are invited to share their personal remembrances and tributes starting at 2:00 p.m.