Jim Kenzie's The Driver's Seat

Spring is Sprung, the Grass is Riz...

...I wonder where the window switches is?

***

Yes, it looks like maybe we can finally take our winter tires off.

How do I know?

Because I was driving in mid-town the other day, I was stopped at a light beside a guy in a white Cadillac CTS, and he had his windows all rolled down - yes, it was finally warm enough outside to do that.

But he also had his stereo turned up to the proverbial 11, with some massively crap filth coming out of it.

I couldn't call it 'music' because to me, 'music' implies melody, and either someone singing, and/or someone playing some instrument that is not electronic drums.

Hey - I happen to know what RAP stands for. Do you?

Now, everyone to his/her own taste.

Or lack thereof.

But can't you keep your taste, or lack thereof, to yourself?

If you're going to play anything on your car radio - rap, crap, Mozart, take your pick - at that volume, couldn't you have the decency to keep your windows rolled UP?

Why do you feel the need to share?

I wondered if maybe I should roll MY windows down, crank MY satellite radio up to 12, and blast some Eagles into HIS eardrums?'

Chances are he wouldn't have been able to hear it - obviously his hearing was damaged beyond all hope.

Also, chances are he wouldn't appreciate decent music if he could hear it.

This isn't just about me liking old music.

It's about common courtesy - something that is increasingly uncommon on our streets.

I've Got Your Back

Ever since I got my PVR, I hardly ever see TV commercials any more. 

But I did find myself watching 'live TV' the other day, and saw an ad for the new Honda Civic.

Maybe you've seen it? The one showing the dude backing into his parking spot with the aid of the back-up camera in the Civic?

"Nailed it!" he beams.

His lady friend says something like, 'So, are we going to hitchhike to the store?"

Because the dude is surrounded by an entire lot of empty spaces.

Credit to him for backing in to his spot.

But why did he deliberately choose a spot with a light pole behind it?

OK, OK, the purpose of the ad was to show off the back-up camera.

But it shows bad driving technique - the dude should have just driven frontwards into one of the hundreds of empty 'pull-through' spots.

Yeah, so parking properly is something of an obsession with me. But when there is a clear right way and an obvious wrong way to do something, why would they show the obvious wrong way?

Maybe the ad agency 'creative' types don't know any better.

But car company people should.

How Do You Know When Your Time is Up?

In case Wheels is the only section of our fine paper/web site you read, you should know that our Jack Lakey, a.k.a. 'The Fixer', has been following an interesting aspect of Toronto's parking world. Read about it here.

Maybe you all knew this, but I didn't - that according to Toronto's own web site, there's a five-minute grace period for certain 'time-limited' parking offences, such as meters or pay-and-display parking zones.

The Toronto Police Service Parking Enforcement Unit won't issue a ticket if you're less than five minutes over the time limit.

Plus, there's a separate administrative policy that if the ticket is issued within ten minutes of the limit, you can apply to have the ticket cancelled.

You can read the policy here. It might help if you've had some law training.

Note that there are exceptions to the grace period policy. You can't overstay your welcome on major arterial roads in rush hours, or violate the snow-clearing policy.

And, it doesn't mean you can park for free for the first five minutes either...

BMW M3 - Take It to the Limit

Yeah yeah, another '70s music reference...

***

So, now I think I have seen it all.

A BMW M3, complete with carbon fibre roof - like the one shown here - driving at the speed limit.

In the right lane.

It was on the 401 eastbound a few days ago.

Now, maybe I shouldn't stereotype M3 drivers.

But seriously - when have you ever seen an M3 driven at the speed limit?

Other than twice a day - once on the way up, again on the way down...

Good Luck or Good Management? A Near-Hit in any event...

Near-Hit?

Which of course is to say, I did miss...

The driver of the blue BMW X1 - didn't catch the gender - seemed to think that just because the left and centre southbound lanes of Yonge Street just north of Finch yesterday afternoon were clogged, that the right-hand lane wouldn't have anyone in it.

Not sure how one would come to that conclusion; presumably (s)he also didn't realize that this is the Jim-only lane.

In any event, (s)he decided just to roar on through with a left turn, directly in front of me.

I wasn't going that fast - you always have to assume other drivers are idiots.

This one didn't disappoint.

I didn't even have time to lay on the horn. Just nailed the brakes as hard as I could, and tried to steer to the right to avoid the collision.

The Anti-Lock Brakes (ABS) on the brand-new new Hyundai Santa Fe XL I had just picked up went into action, pulsing as quickly as possible to maintain optimum stopping distance, and to allow a degree of steering - ABS is as much, possibly more, a steering system as a braking system.

The BMW driver eventually saw me, and did stop. But the Hyundai was still heading right for its nose, tires chirping as the brakes pulsed.

Just before we hit, I let off on the brakes. This allowed the front wheels to bite a bit more than the ABS was allowing, and the Hyundai just managed to dodge around the Bimmer.

If either car had had one more coat of paint, the near-hit (i.e., a miss) would have become a near-miss (i.e., a hit).

This 'lock/steer/release' technique is something we used to teach in the old Labatt's Road Scholarship program, which predated universal adoption of ABS. We know that locked brakes are usually the quickest way to stop, given few people can apply the theoretically-perfect 'threshold' braking accurately enough in an emergency.

But we also know that if the tires are locked, they can't steer.

So if a crash looks imminent, 'lock/steer/release' says to lock 'em up to slow the car down as much as possible, apply some steering lock anyway even if it doesn't help while the tires are sliding, then when the collision seems unavoidable, release the brakes.

With luck, the tires will regain cornering traction, and you'll avoid the crash.

Just like it did for me this time.

It takes some practice, which you should do on a snowy parking lot when winter returns (assuming it ever leaves...).

Even with ABS, as in this case, this technique has saved me a couple of times. It's a worthwile trick to have in your kit bag in case of emergency.

I bet the driver of that blue BMW has no idea how close it was...

Hope You Were a "Snowcrastinator"...

Woke up at Kenzie World Headquarters this morning to another 20 mm of global warming on my deck.

Or what was left of my deck after the ice storm last Friday caused a dead tree to fall on it and crush it.

Aren't we all glad we are "snowcrastinators" who never got around to taking our winter tires off?

My Mother-in-Law says you can never trust the weather until the 24th of May.

She sure looks right this year...

 

.

Arewn;'y we all glad what

Are We Finally Learning How to Park?

Is there hope for Toronto parkers?

That's me in the middle in the burgundy Lincoln MKZ, having almost got the Ryan Gosling parking spot - the one right in front of wherever it is you want to be, which Ryan Gosling (pick your own movie star...) always gets in the movies.

I say 'almost' because it was only one spot removed from being as close to the FourBucks I was heading for as I could have got - without taking a Handicapped spot, of course.

I was sitting there, waiting for 'Southern Cross' (my favourite Crosby Stills and Nash tune) to finish playing on the stereo.

The spots on either side of me came free almost at the same instant.

Seconds later, the Ford pick-up backed in beside me on my right - not easy with a big vehicle like that; the guy didn't even ding my door as he squeezed himself out of his truck.

Then a silver Saturn coupe pulled in frontwards on my left, but drove through to the next row of spots - the always-best, devoutly-to-be-wished-for 'pull-through' spot. You can just barely see the roof of her car directly above the Lincoln in this pic.

Finally, the guy driving the Subaru backed into the spot on my left.

So, a pull-through and three backed-in cars, all within the too-short span of 'Southern Cross'!

Is there hope people are finally learning how to park in this town?

(It would be presumptuous of me - perish the thought - to think they might have been following my good example...)

And, 90 percent of the other cars in this lot were still parked wrong - driven in frontwards.

But I am not above grasping at straws...

OPP on the Lookout for Distracted Drivers

The Ontario Provincial Police are mounting one of their periodic blitzes on distracted drivers this week.

Already, I've seen more than the usual number of black-and-whites with 'customers' pulled off to the shoulder; whether they're just the Usual Suspect speeders or they've been caught applying make-up, shaving, texting, sorting vacation photographs AND eating their breakfast, I couldn't say.

Interesting tidbit came out of Manitoba recently though. It indicated that crashes due to DWT - Driving While Texting - actually INCREASED after the texting ban was imposed in that province, because drivers were 'lap-texting' rather than 'front-of-face' texting, trying to avoid detection.

This of course means that not only were their brains otherwise engaged, but their line of sight was compromised too.

Obviously, trying to work even a so-called 'smart' phone while driving is a dumb idea.

And as we all know by now, hand-held or hands-free makes no difference.

But I wonder if anyone's got any stats on how many crashes are due to drivers being distracted trying to figure out how to use the exact same touch-screen technology that comes in altogether too many new cars' dashboards?

It makes no more sense there...

 

Mimi and Lady Leadfoot go Topless

Does this mean winter is finally over?

We actually drove Mimi - Lady Leadfoot's Mazda Miata - top-down for the first time this year today.

Heater on, and one window down - for some reason, that seems to generate less turbulence than both windows either up or down - and aside from the hair getting quite a work-out, it was very pleasant.

We don't drive her in winter unless there's an emergency. We keep her outside, under a cover, with a trickle charger on the battery. She never fails to fire right up.

If there were some sort of award for the car that best discharges its responsibilities, best fulfils its brief, does exactly what it is supposed to do - do you understand what I'm driving at here? - then the Mazda Miata would surely win in a walk.

More accurately, it would win in a lovely drive through the countryside.

In a nutshell, it was supposed to be a two-seat British sports car that didn't break and didn't leak oil all over your driveway.

That was pretty much what Mark Jordan, a designer for Mazda North America, and Bob Hall, previously and subsequently a car journalist but then a product planner for Mazda, had in mind when they conceived the car on a cocktail napkin in a bar in Irvine California back in the 1980s; in profile, the original Miata looked more like the 1964 Lotus Elan than the Lotus Elan did.

Despite considerable upgrading and improving over the intervening decades, that's pretty much what the Miata still is today.

I.e., damn-near perfect.

Oh yeah, the company can try to call it 'MX-5' if they want, because the marketing people say that's how it is marketed in other countries.

Marketing people can be such idiots; like anybody over here gives a damn what they do over there.

It was originally sold in Japan as the 'Eunos Roadster'. Does that mean we should have called it 'Eunos Roadster' too?

Um, I don't think so.

The Miata Owners Club is still (I think...) the largest one-marque car club in the world, testimony to the affection people have for this car. Lady Leadfoot and I aren't 'joiners' per se, but might be talked into going on some of their cruises this summer.

We understand that the next-gen Miata will be a joint venture with Fiat through its Alfa Romeo brand. That company has no shortage of sports car heritage, although dead-nuts reliability like Miata enjoys has never even been hinted at chez Alfa.

Can the joint venture pull off a car that's as spectacular as Mazda was able to do on its own with Miata?

I hope so.

But I must say, I have grave doubts.

Is Public Transit Really "The Better Way"?

Took in the Jays' opening game the other night - thank you, Honda Canada.

We were heading in to The Big Smoke early (by my standards) because Alicia Keys was playing next door at the Air Canada Centre, so traffic and parking were going to be even more zoo-ish than usual. My only exposure to her music had been the Hurricane Sandy TV special, so the expected full house for her was and remains a mystery to me, but never mind...

Traffic on the 401 eastbound from Kenzie World Headquarters in Rural Ontario was already at a standstill by Mister-and-Mississauga Road, so Lady Leadfoot and I decided - "Hey! Let's get on the GO!"

So we turned down Erin Mills Parkway and stumbled into the Clarkson GO Station.

$26 and change for two return tickets - probably a bit more than parking would have been, but we figured probably faster and less hassle.

We just missed one train - a slight navigational error by the vice-president - but the next one would get us to Union Station around 6:30. Plenty of time for the scheduled 7:07 first pitch, although there would be the usual Opening Day hoopla beforehand.

Lots of seats in the upper deck on the train.

Sadly, they had also been found by a gaggle of what appeared to be teenaged young men who had not waited to get to the game to enjoy a few Buds with their buds, but had brought what looked to be a bottle of vodka on the train.

Vodka and Coke?

Yikes.

Judging from the noise level and the language, it wasn't the first they had consumed that afternoon either.

The GO Security Police were only heading to discuss the situation with these chaps as we pulled into Union Station. A bit late, guys. 

That's certainly one problem with public transit - you can't choose your fellow passengers.

I'm pretty sure there used to be a covered walkway from Union Station to the SkyDome/Rogers Centre and the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. I couldn't find it during the Auto Show last February, and it doesn't appear to be there now. Not sure if the massive and seemingly permanent construction project at Bay and Front has something to do with that or not.

We mostly followed the crowd, wandering in and out of doors. I say 'mostly' because we made the mistake of also following the signs that read, "Pedestrian Detour to Rogers Centre." Er, no - we had to go back whence we had come. Why are those signs even there?

Note to self - stick with local knowledge...

It took about 20 minutes to finally get to Gate Three.

The game of course was a disappointment. R. A. Dickey couldn't get his knuckleball down in the strike zone, J. P. Arencibia couldn't catch it no matter where it was thrown, and when your vaunted offence consists of hitting into a double play with the bases loaded - well, I'm glad I have Game Six of the 1993 World Series on my PVR...

And who says Toronto doesn't have championship-winning teams? How soon we forget the Argos (two Grey Cups in the past ten years) and The Rock (three titles and multiple playoff and finalist appearances). Hmm-mm - professonal sports teams not owned by Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment or Rogers...

At least the foot-long hot dog was good.

On the way home, we took the easy route back to Union Station - just walked along Front Street. Saved about five minutes compared to the earlier route. Live and learn.

Jammed our way onto the platform and caught the "22:27" - a train that wasn't even listed on the GO timetable we had picked up at Clarkson on the way in. Maybe they added extra trains for the Jays game?

Dunno.

No seats of course, so we stood until two stops from our destination.

But at least no drunks on the train this time.

Then another five minute walk to the car.

We're not sure - no 'control group' - but we figure it took at least half an hour longer to get home that driving would have taken.

Public transit?

More expensive, less comfortable, less convenient, noisier, and it takes longer?

Um, thanks - but I think I'll stick with my car...