Jim Kenzie's The Driver's Seat

Are Canadians Becoming More Polite Drivers?

For just a moment, I thought I was back in Germany.

OK, there was still a speed limit on the 401.

But I was heading eastbound the week before last, just west of Napanee. The signs indicated the right lane was being closed for construction - memo to the Ministry of Transportation, the ONLY time the right lane should EVER be closed, and even then it should be the passing lane that gets closed and the driving lane diverted to the left.

Hey - we do have a new Minister of Tranportation! Hope springs eternal.

But I digress...

In any event, about a full kilometer before the actual construction, everybody had aligned themselves in the soon-to-be-only lane, just as proper, tidy and polite as those Germans.

We - they - didn't even need the transport truckers doing their staggered 'line up or we crush you' routine.

It was so nice!

Then, just as I got to the start of the construction, there was a fairly new black Corolla, zooming up the remnants of the right lane and butting in at the very last minute, a couple of cars ahead of me.

Seriously, man (and I could see it was a man, but I didn't catch the plate number) - would you do that in a grocery store check-out line, or a movie theatre ticket line?

No.

So why do it on the highway?

I've always thought if we had to post our name and photo on the roof of our car - eliminating the anonymity that cars give us - our behaviour would improve.

Michael Jackson sang, "One Bad Apple Don't Spoil the Whole Bunch".

But just as my faith in Canadian drivers was being reaffirmed...

Can you really fly to work?

The dream of a flying car has kept engineers sleepless for maybe a century.

Dr. Paul Moller has been trying for over 40 years alone, so far without much success.

Perhaps just as well - we have enough trouble handling commuter traffic in two dimensions, let alone three.

But if the product this Dutch company appears to have invented is real (assuming the following YouTube clip wasn't fabricated by the video equivalent of Photoshop) it may be just around the corner.

The 'vehicle' appears to be more of an enclosed motorcycle than a car, and there's no indication of how much this thing might cost.

It also may end up being like the Amphi-Car, which was a terrible car and a worse boat - but it WAS both.

But it does look intriguing.

I guess time will tell...

 

Baseball Hero Needs to Set a Better Example

I just watched the 'Up Close Open Mic' feature on Sportsnet with new Blue Jay R. A. Dickey.

Not only is this guy a fabulous pitcher - the current National League Cy Young award holder is expected to lead the Blue Jays to heights not seen since the early 1990s.

But in this series of interviews, and in all cases where he has dealt with the public through media contacts, he appears to a most thoughtful, intelligent, serious and articulate man.

His references to his wife and children also reveal him to be a God-fearing family man.

He notes how his family is looking forward to getting to know their new country, learning our culture and our customs.

Welcome to Canada and to Toronto, R. A.

But allow me to introduce you to one Canadian custom with which you do not appear to be familiar.

In part of this TV show, Dickey is shown driving his car through downtown Toronto traffic. He comments that it is not as congested as the New York City he is used to.

But as you can see from this still clipped from that show, Dickey is not wearing his seat belt.

By the way, this is not merely a Canadian custom, my man.

It is our law.

It stuns me that someone apparently this smart and this devoted to his family would do this. If he wants to grow old to enjoy those children that he loves so much, I beseech him to wear it at all times.

Even religious people will say that God helps those who help themselves.

If you get hit head-on by some drunk - it happens - your seat belt will help a lot more than faith in any god.

We have lost too many athletes who thought they were above the laws of physics. Former NHL defenceman Steve Chaisson immediately comes to mind.

Dickey's knuckleball may appear to be defying those laws.

But if his unbelted body is hurtling towards his steering wheel and dashboard at 50 km/h - about half the speed of his knuckleball - it is going to end very badly.

Given that Dickey is a public figure and stands to be a role model for all our children, I beg of him: please R.A. - set the right example.

Oh yeah - and win 20 games.

 

Ben the Antipodean Navigator - Update

I have had some more time in the new Mazda6 (nice car, BTW...).

And, some more time with its TomTom-based SatNav system.

Turns out I was misinformed. The voice I was told was 'Ben' from New Zealand, whose advice upon reaching your destination was, "Windows up, grab those sunnies and don't let the seagulls steal your chips!" was actually 'James' from Australia.

You can listen to it again here:

Download TomTom_message_2013-02-17-151139

(My apologies if this link takes you away from the main page of this blog and forces you to go back one page to return. Seems to be how this blogging software works with audio clips.)

Now, there are two places in the Mazda6 SatNav system where you can select the voice you want to give you directions.

Why there are two perhaps only Mazda and TomTom know. Wasted about half an hour figuring that out...

In one place you can't get either Ben or James, but if you go to 'Settings' on the main SatNav menu they are both available.

To hear how Ben tells you you have arrived, click here;

Download Ben_the_kiwi_2013-02-24-185000

Now, my time in New Zealand - by all accounts, the most beautiful place on earth - has so far been limited to a two-hour layover in the Aukland airport on my way to Australia some years ago.

So my ear has never really become attuned to the Kiwi accent.

Hence, I can barely make out a syllable of what 'Ben' is saying here.

OK, I get the '300 yards', 'you have reached your destination', and 'Cheers for the ride, mate!'

But what is he asking us to grab?

Sounds like 'jandals, togs and chil-e-van.'

Anybody got a clue?

Please let me know...

Truck Fuel Economy - Who Cares?

Have you noticed that pick-up truck advertising always seems to stress fuel consumption?

Ford is boosting its EcoBoost turbocharged Direct Injection Engine (that's one of them, left).

Ram (not Dodge any more) says it has Best in Class fuel consumption, thanks to its eight-speed transmission.

Chevy talks about 'unsurpassed' V8 fuel consumption, by which they mean the GMC equivalent does as well on that count.

But do customers for this type of vehicle give a flying wahoo about fuel consumption?

Not so's you'd notice.

It seems to me whenever I see a pick-up truck on the highway, it's a huge four-by-four going a billion km/h.

Fuel consumption - who cares?

BTW, if you didn't see that episode of MythBusters, they proved it doesn't help fuel consumption in a pick-up to run with the tailgate down.

And another thing, to all pick-up makers - Canada switched to the Metric system shortly after the last Ice Age. Why are you still advertising fuel consumption in miles per gallon?

 

Ben the Antipodean Navigator

The Mazda6 I'm driving this week has a SatNav system based on the TomTom architecture, a brand better known (at least to me) for its aftermarket units.

The Mazda comes with a variety of computer voices you can choose from, in a variety of languages. Want to get your directions in German or Portuguese? You're in luck.

Apparently, you can also download other voices from the Internet, including Darth Vader or Bart Simpson.

Not sure I want to get driving directions from either of those guys.

But the voice that's in there now is apparently 'Ben from New Zealand', although he sounded more Australian to me. Click on the link below to hear how 'Ben' tells you that you have reached your destination:

Download TomTom_message_2013-02-17-151139

In case you're unfamiliar with Aussie (or, presumably, Kiwi) slang, 'sunnies 'are sunglasses...

I'm too cheap to go near a toll road, but I've been told that if you approach a toll booth, Ben will helpfully suggest, "Hope you've got some coinage!"

I find this all terribly funny.

But I can also see that you might get tired of it eventually.

In which case, you could always go with Darth or Bart.

 

Let It Snow, redux

Second big snowstorm in two weeks here in The Big Smoke.

Did we collectively learn anything from the first one?

Apparently not.

Good job it happened on a Saturday and not a work day.

Driving home from the Auto Show this afternoon/evening - yes, it took that long - the Gardiner was closed completely, and the 401 was 20 km/h from Yonge right through to Highway 10.

I only actually saw one collision on the westbound 401, near the on-going construction between 427 and Dixie. It appeared to already be moved off onto the left shoulder of the Collectors (I was in the Express).

It didn't look too bad, maybe two cars by the time I got there, with tow trucks and at least one fire engine already on the scene.

But that didn't seem to be what was slowing people down.

We just can't drive in snow.

You can tell the people who have proper winter tires.

Not only because they usually have them mounted on black steel rims so as to protect their nice shiny alloys from the rigours of winter driving.

But because they can keep moving.

Yes, there were still a few people without their proper headlights on.

But the one thing I noticed moreso than ever today, and of course it hearkens back to my longest-standing pet peeve - people driving slowly in the left lane.

Folks, it's the old heat-kitchen thing - if you can't handle the pace, get the hell out of the way, and let those of us who have proper tires (and know how to drive) get home in time for dinner...

 

Ford's Forehead-Slapper Fuel Filler System

Have you driven a Ford lately?

No, I'm not thinking back to their old marketing slogan.

But have you driven one since they introduced this fuel filler cap-less system back in 2008?

Makes you want to slap your forehead and say, "Geez; why didn't I think of that?"

The one in this photo is on a Raptor F-Series pick-up, but it has become a feature on most if not all new Fords.

A few other non-Fords have added it too, including the (Oshawa-built!) Cadillac XTS, the Chrysler 300C, and the new Acura RLX.

Certainly at first blush, this seems like a terrific idea. No more gas cap to worry about - or forget, if the tether strap (a forehead-slapper in its own day) is broken.

And your hands don't have to come in contact with that dirty old cap.

Women apparently are particularly receptive to this device, for among other reasons, a concern that whoever fuelled the car last might have wrenched the cap on so tight they can't remove it.

According to Ford, a stick or an improper nozzle won't release the valve, so it's more-or-less tamper-proof.

What if you want to put in some sort of gasoline additive? Or maybe fuel from a portable gas can when you run out?

Ford's got that covered; the tool kit on thus-equipped Fords contains a specially-designed funnel that opens the valve and allows input of whatever you want.

Concerned that someone might use such a funnel to put dirt or whatever in your tank? (What, are you paranoid? Or do you really travel in such a neighbourhood?)

Either way, that's no more of a problem than with any fuel filler system. Yes, you'd be better off in either case if your fuel filler door has a remote release inside the car; not all capless Fords do.

But if you want to protect against that, you can buy a locking plug from Ford, although it removes a lot of the handiness of the system.

Not earth-shaking maybe.

But I think it's pretty cool.

 

Still Think You Don't Need Winter Tires?

Judging from the chaos on the roads today, a lot of people still don't.

I was in a big four-wheel drive SUV which only had no-season tires on it (a sharply-worded e-mail is in the works...) and even that got stuck a couple of times.

I know there's no point in whining to you people (my audience) about all the stupid drivers out there - you know this, and (I hope...) you aren't among them.

But so many people spinning out, everywhere!

I heard from one reader that several ramps off the 407 were blocked this morning because drivers who were presumably still doing the usual buck-forty on that road despite the obviously limited traction and visibility found out when they hit the off-ramp that - hmm-mm, my brakes and steering don't seem to be working as well this morning...

No s__t, Sherlock.

On Highway 25 heading up the Escarpment towards my house this 'prevening', to use Big Bang Theory's Sheldon Cooper's term, there are two lanes northbound, to accommodate the big trucks climbing the hill. But the Jim-Only lane was not being travelled in, hence was still snow-covered, so only the left lane was clear enough for traffic.

That didn't stop several cars - a red four-door Jeep Wrangler, a black Ram pick-up and a black Infiniti EX Crossover among those I personally witnessed - from diving out into the on-coming downhill lane to pass me and several other vehicles, including an eighteen-wheeler which was struggling to, literally, make the grade.

Yeah yeah, brave guys - we all got four-wheel drive too. Remember; mostly what that does is let you have your crash at a higher speed.

Seriously; what is SO important that you have to save four seconds getting home? At the risk of a very serious head-on crash? For which you would be 100 percent at fault?

The best us sane people can do is to back off, and let them go have their crash with somebody else.

Or a guard rail.

Oh yes, one more thing, one more time - just because your dash lights are on doesn't mean your taillights are on. With most Daytime Running Lights systems, they aren't.

So nobody coming from behind can see you. Particularly critical in inclement weather like today's.

Not sure about your car? How about doing a walk-around before leaving home tomorrow morning and find out?

Better still, just develop the proper habit - fire up your car, then fire up your full headlights.

All the lights on, all the time.

Simple.

Safe.

No-brainer...

 

Toughest Guy in the GTA?

I get it; some cyclists think I'm prejudiced against them.

Not at all.

I think they're crazy to ride in downtown traffic, but that's not a prejudice, or even merely an opinion.

That's a fact.

But credit where credit's due - some of them can be pretty tough.

During my foray into The Big Smoke the other day, I saw a cyclist, a big, buff dude, wearing his helmet, with his massive legs stuffed into - lycra bike shorts.

My dashboard thermometer read Minus 4 degrees.

That is one tough guy.

Cycle where you wish, my man. You'll get no arguments from me.