Jim Kenzie's The Driver's Seat

Rally 'Round the County!

They say the three things you should never do with anyone you're planning on sleeping with are:

- play competitive bridge;

- go sailboat racing;

- take part in a car rally. 

All three involve decision-making on the part of two (or more) people, and all can lead to - well, disagreements, which could have, um, repercussions.

But if you'd like to try the third activity, car rallying, have we got a deal for you - a low-stress, high-fun event which, win or lose, will definitely have a positive effect on your social life. 

Not that you necessarily have to sleep with your co-driver...

It's the Fifth Annual "Rally 'Round the County", taking place this coming Sunday, May 26, in Milton Ontario.

It won't involve you hair-assing along forestry roads at warp speed, nor does it require a race-prepared car or any special equipment. If you and your vehicle each have a licence and you can scramble up a calculator, you're in.

The event falls in the category of 'TSD Rally' - Time, Speed and Distance.

The route instructions will tell you where to go (the navigator gets to do the same to the driver...).

Said instructions will also tell you - in a variety of ways - exactly what speed you should be going along each section of the route. Checkpoints may appear at any time, so it's best to stay as close to the calculated speed as you can at all times.

Don't worry if you've never done this before. The route is being set by the Kitchener-Waterloo Rally Club, and they will have experts on hand to help you through it.

And while there is some math involved, if you can balance your chequebook, you'll be good.

The entry fee is $60 per car. You need a minimum of two people per car, but feel free to bring the kids or any other moral support you can legally fit in the car.

A barbecue lunch is included after the event. Proceedings begin at 9 a.m., with the first car away at 10. The route should take about two hours to complete.

There will be prizes for the top scorers, as well as for best costumes. Yes, you are encouraged to dress up and have some fun with this!

There will also be a silent auction, with many interesting and valuable items on offer.

All proceeds go to the local Halton Chapter of Girls Inc., a charitable organization dedicated to running programs to help girls to be 'strong, smart and bold', to help them navigate economic, gender and social barriers, to achieve academically, to lead healthy and physically-active lives, to navigate media messages, and to discover an interest in science, technology, engineering and mathematics.

Starting place is Country Heritage Park, 8560 Tremaine Road, Milton.

Find directions here.

To pre-register - please! - call Mike Primok at 905-876-6504, or by e-mail, mprimok@cogeco.ca

I also know you've all been dying to see my 1977 AMC Hornet hatchback up close and personal (shown above with members of the Rally Organizing Committee).

Here's your chance.

Hope to see a lot of you there!

The Leaf(s) Have Turned

Don't know if I used this photograph before - not sure how I could have justified it in a car blog, maybe because it was sort of like a street sign.

But as someone who got his season tickets to Maple Leaf Gardens the year after the Leafs last won the Stanley Cup and sat through the Forbes Kennedy years, I think I'm entitled to a little slack...

Obviously, this sign is three years old. It was on a stretch of Bloor Street just east of Avenue Road which was undergoing some landscaping.

But as of tonight, this message will no longer be true. Well, maybe it depends on how many leaves there are on those trees on Bloor Street...

All right, so maybe they'll get swept four straight - they at least made the playoffs, which is more than the Big Buxx Jays are gonna do...

OK, back to cars...

Rest in Peace, Peter Wright

Predictably, there was a huge turn-out for the Celebration of Life Friday at Mount Albert Lions Club Hall for Peter Wright.

"Much love, much laughter," is how his wife Lorie put it, as person after person got up to recount stories of their association with this man.

'That's how Peter would have wanted it."

Most of them - of us - were motorsport connections, since cars were his passion.

But some of his friends knew little about his love affair with cars and competition. They knew him from sailing, from fishing, or from riding dirt bikes.

No matter; the stories all ended the same, about his smile, his laugh, his positivity.

A video loop showed Peter running his beloved Datsun 240Z in a slalom at Picton Kartway. He executed every corner flawlessly, taking the car to within millimetres of the apex every lap, with nary a bobble at the wheel.

"Smoothness," said Mike Acerra, one of his erstwhile competitors. "That's what he was all about."

That's also what made him such a great driving instructor. "Smooth comes first, then fast" was his teaching mantra.

The shot to the left shows the Datsun with his orange 'Contact Patch' van in the background; 'Contact Patch' was the name of his tire service company which supported motorsport events around the province.

As the Celebration drew to a close, three things came to mind, and/or were mentioned by the speakers, things we should all remember at times like these. 

First, somebody should remember to tape these Celebrations. Repeat viewings can provide great comfort to those left behind.

Second, don't let friends and family grieve alone. Stay in touch, call them, invite them for dinner. Don't let the Celebration end today.

Third, as noted above, there was lots of love expressed for lots of people in that room today. If there is someone you love or admire, for whatever reason, don't wait until it's too late to tell them to their face.

Tell them today.

 

Listen to, but do not necessarily be in a, RUSH

Gary Lee Weinrib and Aleksandar Živojinović (better known as Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson of Rush) are both big car fans.

No no, big fans of cars, not necessarily fans of big cars...

Not sure about Neil Peart - I think he's more into motorcycles.

I actually met Alex once, and he reads Wheels faithfully - or at least did at the time.

And Geddy has owned a variety of interesting cars over the years - at one point, a rare Renault Alpine Gordini.

Which has always made me wonder - how come in the Rush song 'Red Barchetta', Geddy pronounces 'barchetta' incorrectly?

'Barchetta' means 'little boat' in Italian; the word has often been used to describe smallish two-seat open Italian sports cars like the one he's singing about here.

Again in Italian, 'ch' is pronounced as a 'hard C', as in 'chianti' - 'kee-AUNT-ee'.

So, 'barchetta' is 'bar-KETT-a', not 'bar-CHET-a'.

I would have guessed a car fan like Geddy would have known this. If not him, then Alex, Neil (who is such a stickler for detail), the producer, a roadie - SOMEBODY - would have caught this.

Cool song though. Probably not ex-OPP boss Julian Fantino's favourite song though, because it is essentially about street racing...

BTW, I assume the 'alloy air car' in that song is a silver Porsche.

And that of course is pronounced 'POR-sha'.

BTW (2), Geddy did a great job throwing out the first pitch at the Jays' opening game last week (in addition to cars and wine, Geddy is a huge fan of baseball). Given how R. A. Dickey did later that evening (and again Sunday afternoon) maybe Geddy should have stayed on the mound...

Is Public Transit Really "The Better Way"?

Took in the Jays' opening game the other night - thank you, Honda Canada.

We were heading in to The Big Smoke early (by my standards) because Alicia Keys was playing next door at the Air Canada Centre, so traffic and parking were going to be even more zoo-ish than usual. My only exposure to her music had been the Hurricane Sandy TV special, so the expected full house for her was and remains a mystery to me, but never mind...

Traffic on the 401 eastbound from Kenzie World Headquarters in Rural Ontario was already at a standstill by Mister-and-Mississauga Road, so Lady Leadfoot and I decided - "Hey! Let's get on the GO!"

So we turned down Erin Mills Parkway and stumbled into the Clarkson GO Station.

$26 and change for two return tickets - probably a bit more than parking would have been, but we figured probably faster and less hassle.

We just missed one train - a slight navigational error by the vice-president - but the next one would get us to Union Station around 6:30. Plenty of time for the scheduled 7:07 first pitch, although there would be the usual Opening Day hoopla beforehand.

Lots of seats in the upper deck on the train.

Sadly, they had also been found by a gaggle of what appeared to be teenaged young men who had not waited to get to the game to enjoy a few Buds with their buds, but had brought what looked to be a bottle of vodka on the train.

Vodka and Coke?

Yikes.

Judging from the noise level and the language, it wasn't the first they had consumed that afternoon either.

The GO Security Police were only heading to discuss the situation with these chaps as we pulled into Union Station. A bit late, guys. 

That's certainly one problem with public transit - you can't choose your fellow passengers.

I'm pretty sure there used to be a covered walkway from Union Station to the SkyDome/Rogers Centre and the Metro Toronto Convention Centre. I couldn't find it during the Auto Show last February, and it doesn't appear to be there now. Not sure if the massive and seemingly permanent construction project at Bay and Front has something to do with that or not.

We mostly followed the crowd, wandering in and out of doors. I say 'mostly' because we made the mistake of also following the signs that read, "Pedestrian Detour to Rogers Centre." Er, no - we had to go back whence we had come. Why are those signs even there?

Note to self - stick with local knowledge...

It took about 20 minutes to finally get to Gate Three.

The game of course was a disappointment. R. A. Dickey couldn't get his knuckleball down in the strike zone, J. P. Arencibia couldn't catch it no matter where it was thrown, and when your vaunted offence consists of hitting into a double play with the bases loaded - well, I'm glad I have Game Six of the 1993 World Series on my PVR...

And who says Toronto doesn't have championship-winning teams? How soon we forget the Argos (two Grey Cups in the past ten years) and The Rock (three titles and multiple playoff and finalist appearances). Hmm-mm - professonal sports teams not owned by Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment or Rogers...

At least the foot-long hot dog was good.

On the way home, we took the easy route back to Union Station - just walked along Front Street. Saved about five minutes compared to the earlier route. Live and learn.

Jammed our way onto the platform and caught the "22:27" - a train that wasn't even listed on the GO timetable we had picked up at Clarkson on the way in. Maybe they added extra trains for the Jays game?

Dunno.

No seats of course, so we stood until two stops from our destination.

But at least no drunks on the train this time.

Then another five minute walk to the car.

We're not sure - no 'control group' - but we figure it took at least half an hour longer to get home that driving would have taken.

Public transit?

More expensive, less comfortable, less convenient, noisier, and it takes longer?

Um, thanks - but I think I'll stick with my car...

Baseball Hero Needs to Set a Better Example

I just watched the 'Up Close Open Mic' feature on Sportsnet with new Blue Jay R. A. Dickey.

Not only is this guy a fabulous pitcher - the current National League Cy Young award holder is expected to lead the Blue Jays to heights not seen since the early 1990s.

But in this series of interviews, and in all cases where he has dealt with the public through media contacts, he appears to a most thoughtful, intelligent, serious and articulate man.

His references to his wife and children also reveal him to be a God-fearing family man.

He notes how his family is looking forward to getting to know their new country, learning our culture and our customs.

Welcome to Canada and to Toronto, R. A.

But allow me to introduce you to one Canadian custom with which you do not appear to be familiar.

In part of this TV show, Dickey is shown driving his car through downtown Toronto traffic. He comments that it is not as congested as the New York City he is used to.

But as you can see from this still clipped from that show, Dickey is not wearing his seat belt.

By the way, this is not merely a Canadian custom, my man.

It is our law.

It stuns me that someone apparently this smart and this devoted to his family would do this. If he wants to grow old to enjoy those children that he loves so much, I beseech him to wear it at all times.

Even religious people will say that God helps those who help themselves.

If you get hit head-on by some drunk - it happens - your seat belt will help a lot more than faith in any god.

We have lost too many athletes who thought they were above the laws of physics. Former NHL defenceman Steve Chaisson immediately comes to mind.

Dickey's knuckleball may appear to be defying those laws.

But if his unbelted body is hurtling towards his steering wheel and dashboard at 50 km/h - about half the speed of his knuckleball - it is going to end very badly.

Given that Dickey is a public figure and stands to be a role model for all our children, I beg of him: please R.A. - set the right example.

Oh yeah - and win 20 games.

 

Tidbits from the Auto Show - Kids and Cars

So you think young people aren't interested in cars any more?

You should have been with me at the Toronto Auto Show today. I was standing beside my Kia Optima Turbo Targa Newfoundland car, and there was no shortage of kids (of all ages) wanting to sit behind the wheel, making the classic 'vroom-vroom' noises, even if most of them couldn't see over the bottom of the steering wheel rim, let alone out the windshield.

I wish I could show you some photos of the kids, but there are various issues about printing candid photos of children. So I'm just including a shot of the car.

Rocks, fog, fishing boats - could that be anywhere but Newfoundland?

Quite a few of these kids were girls too, and most of them knew that Danica Patrick is on pole for Sunday's Daytona 500.

I've always maintained that car racing is one sport where women don't have a built-in disadvantage.

There's no real need for huge muscle mass or upper-body strength in racing, where women generally trail men.

If you think that competitiveness is solely a function of testosterone, well, did you ever see the Williams sisters play tennis?

Given that weight is always the enemy of race cars, there's actually (typically) an advantage for women here.

NASCAR in fact has a weight equalization rule; lighter drivers have to add ballast. But because of the way the formula works, Patrick - who only weighs about 100 pounds - has to carry just a 40 pound penalty, so she probably gains about a 40 - 50 pound net benefit over most of the field.

Given the size and weight of NASCAR cars, this might not be as crucial proportionally as it might be in a lighter formula car.

But when races are won by hundredths, sometimes thousandths, of a second, every bit helps.

Whether any of these kids become our next Paul Tracy - or Danica Patrick - it seems that enthusiasm for the automobile is alive and well in our young people.

So my job should be safe for a while anyway...

 

Tom Hnatiw - Rest in Peace

A lovely bunfight at Scotland Yard last Tuesday night to say good bye to Tom Hnatiw.

Tom passed away a couple of weeks ago at age 53 due to complications from kidney disease.

I'm lousy at guesstimating crowd sizes, but there must have been a hundred people or more jammed into that place, some I hadn't seen in years.

The stories abounded of course - racers spend fifteen minutes actually running a race, then forty years talking about it.

And talking, and talking, and talking...

When Tom's name came up as it did all the time (as you would expect), there were always phrases like "... huge smile on his face", "...ability to defuse a tense situation with some humour", and "...helped me out when I needed help".

That just was the guy's nature.

Tom and his long-time car racing partner Al Ayre used to call their racing team "PTFB Racing", the acronym standing for "Put The Fun Back".

Tom put fun into everything he did.

His son Nicholas, now embarking on a business career, was there (brother Wyatt was already back in Montreal attending McGill, where Nick graduated from). Both are proof that the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree; they were Tom's primary focus in life, and he and his wife Debbie spared nothing to give them everything they could to make them better people.

They succeeded.

We were all glad Nick could see for himself how we all felt about his Dad, and the impact he had on so many lives.

A video was made with various of Tom's friends recounting vignettes from his multi-facetted life - businessman, racer, radio and television broadcaster, race track announcer, PR guy.

And, he had a terrific singing voice too.

Richard Pickering, one of Tom's oldest friends and the organizer of this event, said the video would help Nick and Wyatt's kids - assuming there are some one day! - to see what a champ their Granddad had been.

He will not be easily replaced; he will not be forgotten.

 

Targa Newfoundland 2012 - That's a Wrap

It's all over but the shouting, the stories, and the memories.

The eleventh Targa Newfoundland finished up last Friday - results are available on www.targanewfoundland.com, and podcasts about each day's events can be seen on www.targanewfoundlandnews.com.

This (left) was our mount for the week, a Kia Optima Turbo.

Like the picture? You got rock, you got fog, you got fishing boats. Does it get any more Newfoundland than that?

The car was fast, the 276 horsepower 2.0 litre four-cylinder turbo allowing it to nudge (and occcasionally break...) the event speed limit of 200 km/h.

We felt the suspension was too low and too hard - there aren't many competition suspension options for this car yet.

The brakes (stock rotors; competition pads) were tested severely - we were on our third set of front rotors by Friday.

Not a complaint - no road-going car short of something like a Ferrari could withstand the rigours of driving like this.

The automatic transmission's computer wasn't really set up for this sort of thing either. We thought if we could find some 14-year old cell-phone-breaking kid to hack into it and make it shift when I wanted it to instead of when IT wanted to...

But my co-driver Brian Bourbonniere and myself did manage to finish sixth in the Modern Division, which we thought wasn't too bad for a first outing for this car.

We did win two sub-classes - the automatic transmission class, and the Back-Up Camera class.

OK, so we were the only car in Modern which had either feature, and there really weren't awards for this, but we'll take whatever we can get.

The toughest thing about Targa - other than finishing it - is trying to describe to people what it's really like, and to get them to come and participate.

I've been telling people for eleven years that it's the most fun you can have in a car with your clothes on.

The police close the roads and tell you to drive faster; what else does a car freak need to know?

He (or she) also needs to know where to find a lot of money. The entry fee is five grand, give or take, and you're probably looking at a minimum of ten grand more to get the car here, bring crew, etc.

And that of course assumes you've already got a race-ready car.

I'll describe three rookie teams from this year to try and express what this event is like.

Jennifer and Steve Morris from Glencoe Ontario bought an old Toyota Supra, rebuilt the engine, installed a roll cage, and entered the Grand Touring Division.

They couldn't stop talking about what an amazing time they had. The driving, sure - they sort of expected that. But the scenery, the hospitality, the camaraderie? Permanent smiles on both their faces.

They did violate one of rallying's most basic rules - never rally with anyone you're planning on sleeping with. But they celebrated their wedding anniversary on the Sunday after the event ended, so that seemed to work out OK too.

Ben Gill and David Didcock from England built up a beautiful 1979 Ford Escort to be an exact replica of a contemporary World Rally Championship car. They are endurance racers in England, and had only done one rally ever before. They finished second in the Classic Division for older cars, and David said the event was the "best racing days of their entire lives."

If we had been able to take a litre of Ben's blood after the Gander town stage and distilled it, we'd put the cocaine dealers out of business in a heartbeat.

And Tom Martin Jr. and Tom Martin III - pere et fils - from Dallas Texas and Los Angeles respectively, originally prepped their spectacular orange BMW E30 M3 for Targa Tasmania, the granddaddy of Targa events. They had never even heard of Targa Newfoundland; when someone pointed out that Newfoundland is a lot closer to the south-western US than Tasmania, they came up here, and simply couldn't believe it.

They could tell you better than I whether it's worth it.

Obviously, if you don't have this kind of coin to spend on a hobby/vacation, 'worth' is not an issue.

But I know golfers, horseback riders, regional car racers, dog breeders, all sorts of people, who spend way more than that on their hobbies. Or their vacations.

If you have any interest whatsoever in automotive competition, you simply have to try Targa.

Daria Khachi shared a BMW 325 with an M3 engine stuffed in it with Alan Morris. Daria brought his wife and son along for the last couple of days, combining the hobby/vacation thing perfectly. Daria called his organization "Bucket List Racing".

Couldn't have said it better myself...

 

Targa Newfoundland - Three-Fifths Done

Hard to believe we're over half-done here at Targa Newfoundland 2012.

Hard to believe because our start times are so early, I have to get to bed so early that I have hardly had any time to even try to blog about it!

Our Kia Optima Turbo is dead-stock apart from safety equipment, and the allowable springs, dampers, wheels and tires. It looks huge in this field that seems to be mostly Porsches and Subarus, and we're dead-certain it's the only car in the field with a back-up camera.

You see, visibility to the rear of any race/rally car is poor because of the spider's web of roll cage components. Not a problem because normally, you don't do a lot of backing up in a race/rally car

But everybody who watches me back into tight spots in the hockey and curling rinks where we park the cars overnight thinks I'm a magician - and here I am, revealing the secret of my trick.

The car also has Air-Con, Sirius satellite radio, cruise control - what every full-bodied rally car ought to have.

Yeah yeah, the purists do scoff - but on those long transits, everyone wishes they were in my car.

It's also very quick, once the Turbo gets the 276 horses all galloping along.

We would like more ground clearnace - the Eibach springs are some 50 percent stiffer than stock, but are about 30 mm shorter, so we are bottoming out on some of the larger bumps. A skid plate under the engine means we're doing no damage - as far as we know.

The main drawback of the Optima Turbo as a rally car is that it only comes with a six-speed automatic transmission. It does have a 'Sport' mode with paddle shifters on the steering column, but these seem to have a mind of their own, not always grabbing the gear I want.

So sometimes, it's a struggle pulling away from slower corners.

My navigator Brian Bourbonniere from Halifax and I have an arrangement - he tells me nothing about our results. I don't know what position we're in, whether we make our base times, or even our 'trophy' times.

The theory here is that I can only drive so fast no matter what, and if I knew for example that I was maybe just a bit ahead or just a bit behind somebody, I might try to drive harder, and we all know how that ends...

You of course can find out where we and everybody else stand if you like at www.targanewfoundland.com.

Please, just don't tell me!

There's also a daily video blog at www.targanewfoundlandnews.com. You might recognize the guy doing the voice-over...

You'd have trouble convincing anyone from Florida or Louisiana that Hurricane Leslie blew through here yesterday - not a house trailer sitting in a low-hanging tree to be seen. It was gorgeous - sunny, warm, with just a few fluffy clouds.

And the heavy rains washed a lot of the gravel and dirt off the roads, so that was a plus.

It's Marystown and the Burin Peninsula Thursday, then back to St. John's Friday.